Eve of Destruction
by LemonSmoothie
Summary: After the events of Kingdom Hearts II, Sora learns more about the nature of the Keyblade along with some unsavory secrets about his own family.
1. In the Beginning, There Was Light?

"Eve of Destruction"

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts is copyright Disney and SquareEnix.

"It's time to go to bed, Sora." Maia told her six-year-old son.

"But what if there's a monster under my bed?"

"Don't be silly. There's no such thing."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." Maia stroked her son's hair. "But I'll tell you a story about Kore. And then she'll protect you in your dreams."

"OK."

"This is the story about Kore's biggest challenge ever. Once upon a time, there were twin goddesses. The elder twin was Calamity, who had hair darker than blackest pitch. The younger sister was Mnemosyne, who had hair of sunshine gold. They were supposed to keep the world running smoothly, but Calamity began to resent this. She wanted all the humans to worship her. She set fire to people's homes, created horrible monsters to kill their children, and sent plagues of locusts to eat their crops. Mnemosyne wanted to stop Calamity, but they were too evenly matched. Mnemosyne called upon the Maiden of Light, Kore. And so Kore and Calamity fought. It was a hard fight. Several times, Kore considered giving up. But she couldn't. Not while Calamity was threatening people. Finally, Kore was victorious. Mnemosyne sealed Calamity's soul within her own body, so that Calamity would be unable to reincarnate and hurt anyone ever again."

"Kore was really strong, wasn't she?"

"Yes. But her strength came from her kindness, not her sword. You should try to be like her."

"I will."

Maia pulled the covers to her son's chin and kissed his forehead. "Good night, Sora."

"I love you, Mommy."

"I love you too, Sora." Maia turned off the light and closed the door. She was halfway down the hall when she heard a blood-curdling scream.

"MOMMY!"

Maia bolted back to the bedroom and threw open the door. A black snake-like thing had its fangs buried in Sora's right shoulder. "Get away from him!" She looked around the room for a weapon. The creature released its bite and dove toward Maia, slinking across the wood floor with a speed that belied its form. Upon closer inspection, Maia could see a pair of wings protruding from its back, as well as four stubby limbs. The creature snarled, snapping its jaws at Maia's foot. It was too fast for her to try to step on. "Sora, get out of here!"

"But Mommy! I'm scared!"

"Go get Daddy!" Maia once again looked for something heavy enough to club the monster.

The thing looked from Maia to Sora with silver eyes. It seemed to be thinking. Then it turned and ran toward Sora.

"No!" Maia dove forward. Her hands managed to grab the thing's scaly tail. Her hands stung. "You're not hurting my baby!" She swung as if swinging a Louisville slugger and dashed the monster against the wall, hard. It groaned in pain. Maia took that as a good sign and struck it again. Then again. The creature arched its back and managed to claw Maia's hand. Terrible pain shot through her arm. Maia screamed and released the creature. It fell to the ground, oozing dark blood from a head wound. It moved slower now. "Get out! Leave my son alone, you hateful thing!" Maia's hands suddenly glowed white. White light enveloped the creature. With a whimper, the monster was gone. The only thing to indicate where it had been was the black blood that had dripped on the floor.

"Mommy? What was that?" Sora asked, cradling his injured shoulder.

"Let's get this cleaned up," Maia said quickly. They walked to the bathroom. Maia took a washcloth from a cupboard and handed it to her son. "Hold this to your shoulder while I clean up." She glanced at her hand as she held it under the running water. The bleeding slowed, revealing a ring of puncture marks. She bandaged her hand, then moved to Sora's injury. The bites didn't seem to be too deep. Maia delicately applied topical antibiotic, then bandaged the shoulder. "There, there. Mommy's got you. There's no need to be afraid."

"You lied, Mommy. You said there were no monsters."

"Mommy was mistaken. I would never lie to you, Sora. You know that." Tears dripped from Maia's eyes onto Sora's brown hair. "And I don't want anything to hurt you."

And so they sat together, mother and son, until the morning light.

To Be Continued


	2. Requiem to a Predicament

Author's Note: Roxas/Naminé speaking is a little confusing. Bold type indicates when they're speaking directly to their Others: only Sora or Kairi can hear them. Bold type in quotation marks indicate when Roxas/Naminé speak through Sora/Kairi. Their voices sound like Roxas and Naminé, though it appears the Other is talking.

**Sora, do we have to do this every night? **

"What?" Sora asked. Since coming home two months ago, Roxas had refused to fade into obscurity. That meant Roxas making comments on everything from dinner (usually praise) to Sora's fashion sense (usually insults).

**Checking under your bed. There are no monsters living there. It's stupid. **

"You don't remember?"

**Remember what? **

"When I was six?"

**Nope. I saw some of your memories in my dreams when I was separate, but they were mostly about the Keyblade. The only memory of your childhood was that story your dad told. For some reason, I can't access all of your memory. Just like you couldn't access mine. You didn't remember Hayner, Pence, and Olette. Or the Organization, for that matter. **

"I don't even want to know about your time with that psycho Organization."

**So what happened? **

Sora pushed back the shoulder of his pajamas, revealing a faint ring of teeth marks on his right shoulder. "I got this from the monster that came."

**Sora, I didn't pop out of you yesterday. You have nothing to gain by lying to me. **

"It's not a lie!" Sora insisted. "My mother keeps telling me I imagined it, but I know what I saw."

**How does she explain the teeth marks? **

"She said Riku bit me when we were playing."

**Those aren't human teeth marks. Why would your mother lie about something that serious? **

"I don't know. She refuses to talk about it. I just know I feel safer checking under my bed before I go to sleep. Even in hotel rooms. Course, Donald and Goofy weren't so rude as to _point it out._"

**I was just curious. **

"Were you always this talkative?"

**You never lived with Xaldin. Now there was a guy who didn't shut up. **

XXX

"Naminé!" Kairi whined. "I have to do my homework." Unlike Roxas, Naminé didn't speak very often. But she was prone to taking control of Kairi's hand and drawing.

Naminé dropped her pencil.

"Better." Kairi opened her math textbook to the current problem set. "This algebra is so confusing, though." She smoothed out a piece of notebook paper.

The hand picked up the pencil again. The pencil scratched across the paper, meticulously solving and checking each algebra equation.

Kairi stared in wonder. "I thought I slept through this lesson."

**I didn't, **replied Naminé.

"Naminé, if you do all my homework, is it cheating?"

**I guess it depends whether you see me as another person, or if you see me as you. **

"So what is it? Are you me, or are there two of us?"

**I've been meaning to talk to you about that. Please don't get me wrong. These past two months have been the happiest of my life. I love the beach, the island, school, everything. But even though I only exist as thoughts in your soul, I feel like I'm violating some law. **

"What law?"

**Only one person to a body. You see, if you admitted to other people that I'm living in you, they wouldn't be sympathetic. They'd call you schizophrenic and lock us in a psych ward. They'll feed you bread and water and pump you full of strange medicines. And you know the worst part? They'll strap you into a machine and administer electric shocks. **

"That's crazy."

**Haven't you seen _One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest_? **

"That was just a movie!"

**It was based on a novel. And the author actually observed the conditions in a mental hospital. **

Kairi sighed. "Didn't we have this same argument over _This is Spinal Tap_?"

XXX

Meanwhile, Riku was relaxing in his living room. His mother, Sharon, was folding laundry while his father, Lionel, was reading a newspaper. It would have made a perfect domestic television sitcom scene, if Riku hadn't been turning his Keyblade over and over.

For once, Riku was perfectly happy. The voices that had plagued his dreams -- Xehanort's Heartless, Zexion, DiZ -- had fallen silent since defeating Xemnas. He liked it that way.

There was a knock on the door. Sharon got up to answer it.

A girl of about seventeen was on the porch. She was casually smoking a cigarette. "Does Riku live here?" The moonlight was bright, revealing the girl's outfit of a long pink skirt, white blouse, and denim jacket.

"Who are you?" Sharon asked. "Why are you here at this hour?"

The girl simply blew cigarette smoke in Sharon's face. "I'll ask you again. Does Riku live here. And if he doesn't, could you point me in the right direction."

Sharon coughed. "Yes, Riku is my son."

"May I speak with him?"

"But…" Sharon thought better of it and called toward the living room. "Riku! There's a girl here to see you."

Riku ran to the door, expecting to see Kairi. He looked over the girl, giving her no sign of recognition. "Who are you?"

"I wish to confer with you in private."

Riku gave a smirk. "Fine by me."

"Walk and talk." The girl took another drag from her cigarette as she turned and walked toward the beach.

Riku followed her. "Aren't you going to introduce yourself?"

"My name is Erato. I want to hire you as a bodyguard. You may have to get your hands dirty, so if you have any objections to killing someone, say it now."

"I don't. Who do you want me to whack off?"

"If it comes to it, my aunt."

"Bad blood, huh?"

"As long as she lives, my sisters and I are in grave danger."

"How many sisters do you have?"

"Nine, though one is currently deceased."

"Are they all as cute as you?"

"Depends on who's looking." Erato stubbed out her cigarette. "Isn't that the phrase? 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder'?"

"Something like that."

"You have nerve. I like it."

"Nerve?" Riku asked, confused. "I don't follow."

"Flirting with an older woman."

Riku refrained from asking just how old she was. It was an undeniable law of etiquette. Asking a woman her age was invitation to a cold glare, a slap, or worse. "So you said you wanted to hire me?"

"Yes. You will be rewarded."

"Tell me more."

XXX

Sharon was watching Riku and Erato through binoculars from her living room window. "Lionel! Our son is still talking to that suspicious-looking girl."

Lionel didn't take his eyes off his newspaper. "That's nice, dear."

To Be Continued


	3. Ray of Darkness, Ray of Light

"So, how much am I being paid for this?" Riku asked.

"Anything you want." Erato took a glittering bracelet off her arm. "I can offer this as an advance payment."

Riku examined the bracelet. It was platinum, studded with rubies. Too gaudy to be anything but real. "Nice. Are you royalty?"

"In a sense," Erato replied. She pointed toward two figures coming toward them. "Here are my sisters."

The two sisters approached. One wore an elaborate pink ballet costume complete with tutu and toe shoes. The other wore a fancy-looking white dress and a veil.

Erato motioned toward the ballerina, who waved. "Terpsichore."

The girl in white curtsied. "I am Lady Polyhymnia. And you are Sir Riku, I presume?"

"Uh, yeah," Riku said.

"Any luck with the others?" Erato asked.

Terpsichore shook her head. "Nope. Their parents claimed that they were already in bed."

Erato sighed. "Guess we're stuck here for tonight. Riku, would you mind directing us to the nearest inn?"

Riku pointed down the road. "Follow this street to the corner, turn left, and it's three buildings down."

"Thank you," Polyhymnia said.

"If I may ask if you could bring your two friends for a meeting with us at noon tomorrow?" Erato asked.

"Sora and Kairi?" Riku asked.

"Yes, them," Erato replied.

"Why?"

"Ordinary weapons won't work on Auntie," Polyhymnia said. "We need Keyblade Wielders. The more the better."

Riku shrugged. "OK."

Erato bent forward and kissed Riku on the left cheek. "Then I shall look forward to seeing you tomorrow."

Terpsichore fainted.

Polyhymnia gasped. "Erato! That is an unpardonable sin! Do you honestly believe that you shall be forgiven?"

Erato bent over to pick up Terpsichore's unconscious body. "You know where to stick it, Polly."

"Hmph," Polyhymnia huffed, following Erato down the road. "I'm telling Mom once she's back to normal…"

Riku rubbed his cheek. "Hmm…" He turned and went back to his house.

Sharon was waiting for him. "Who was that?"

"Nobody."

"She kissed you. Is she your girlfriend?"

Riku folded his arms. "You spied on me?!" His Keyblade materialized in his hand. "How dare you!"

"I'm your mother, and I have the right to know what you're doing…"

"Just shut up!" Riku stomped up the stairs.

"Not so fast," Sharon grabbed Riku's shirttail.

Riku spun on the steps and elbowed his mother hard. Sharon teetered briefly before falling backward with a crash.

Riku ran up the rest of the stairs. "This conversation is over, Mom!"

"Lionel," Sharon said. "Your son just shoved me down the stairs!"

"That's nice, dear," Lionel replied.

XXX

"So what is this about, Riku?" Sora wasn't particularly happy about being awakened before noon on a Saturday.

"You see, there are these girls who need our help. Because we have Keyblades."

"I guess if people are in trouble, I can't say no."

"But here's the thing. I don't think they're from around here."

"They're from another world?" Sora asked. "But how? If they don't have Keyblades…or a Gummi Ship…?"

"I don't know. I just think we should hear them out. And they're hot. All three of them."

"Wow, ulterior motive?" Sora said with a smirk. "Uh oh…my mother won't let me leave this world again!" His face clouded over. "I can't stand to worry her again."

Riku sighed. "Sora, you can stare armies of Heartless down without a flinch. You've fought god-like beings and giant monsters, not to mention survived thousands of Donald Duck's temper tantrums. But the very thought of upsetting _Mommy _makes you ill."

"Well, she was mad at me when I came back. And then Roxas talked back and I got yelled at…and well, I don't want to see her like that. It hurts when she's upset."

"You and your dad are both completely whipped. I mean, you don't see my dad taking crap from my mom."

"Your dad is the most lymphatic man on the face of the planet," Sora replied. "I never see him do _anything_."

"How can you comment on my dad's condition, yet I can't call your mom a bitch?"

"Don't call her that, Riku. It's disrespectful."

"But it's true. If she found a way to turn you back into a baby, she would. And all because she's a big, fat, stupid…"

"Don't say it again, Riku."

"B-I…"

"I'm warning you."

"T-C…"

"Stop it now!"

"H! Bitch, bitch, bitch."

"**SHUT YOUR !#$ING MOUTH, RIKU!" **Sora blushed furiously and clamped his hands over his mouth. _Oh, god, Roxas, no…_

Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie looked up from their game of Monopoly.

"That is the loudest swearing I've ever heard," Tidus said.

Selphie giggled. "Sora said the eff word!"

"Let's just get Kairi," Sora muttered under his breath, cheeks still burning. _I am so gonna get you for this, Roxas…! _

XXX

Moments later, Sora, Kairi, and Riku were sitting opposite Erato, Polyhymnia, and Terpsichore. Introductions were briefly exchanged.

"I'm just going to be open about this," Erato said. "There are nine of us. Polly, Terry, and I came here, to talk to you three. Three of our sisters went to Disney Castle to speak with King Mickey. And the last three went to Twilight Tower to talk to Master Yen Sid, to find a way to settle our conflict with Aunt Calamity."

"Calamity?" Sora asked. "As in, the ancient goddess of chaos? And forgetfulness? The twin of Mnemosyne?"

Erato, Polyhymnia, and Terpsichore stared, open-mouthed.

"How'd you know that?" asked Kairi.

"My mother told me stories about Calamity and Mnemosyne. I thought they were fairy tales…"

"I guess the stories leaked to the different worlds," Erato said finally. "You see, we're the nine Daughters of Destiny. Ever since Calamity died, the task of keeping the worlds in order is solely our mother's duty. Mnemosyne, the Memory Queen. The memory of all that lives. My sisters and I guide the transmigration of hearts and souls. When a person dies, the heart returns to Kingdom Hearts. And the soul is usually reincarnated, unless, of course, circumstances are special."

"But Calamity was not reincarnated," Sora interjected. "She was sealed. In Mnemosyne."

"Yes," Erato agreed. "But over the course of four thousand years, that seal weakened. Calamity is now possessing our mother. We had to run. Our mother's power was divided amongst herself…and us. Calamity needs our souls to be complete again. So, thus, our lives are in danger, as well as the worlds."

"What I don't get," Kairi said. "Is if you're all such powerful goddesses, why couldn't you stop the Heartless and the Nobodies?"

"There are limits to our power," Polyhymnia said. "Time and fate is not to be bent to the will of one person or group. Xehanort could not understand that, and neither can our Aunt Calamity."

"So you want us to kill Calamity?" Riku asked.

"Not quite," Erato said. "We need a way to destroy only Calamity's soul. If our mother is destroyed, the barriers between the worlds will destabilize. And that'll be disastrous. Thus, why we're seeking King Mickey and Yen Sid."

"They'll help," Sora said.

"I'm coming too this time," Kairi added.

"No, you're not," Riku and Sora said in unison.

Kairi pouted. "Why not?"

"Because it's too dangerous," Sora said.

**He's got you there, **Naminé said from inside Kairi.

"Oh, who asked you, Naminé?" Kairi replied.

"I don't feel right endangering one of the Princesses of Heart," Terpsichore said. "She has a noble duty to fulfill."

"Leave the hero stuff to the professionals," Erato added.

"Besides," Riku said with a smirk. "Someone has to tell the parents where we've gone."

"Let's take a vote," Kairi said pleadingly. "All opposed to me going say 'nay.'"

**Nay, **Naminé said.

**Nay, **Roxas said. **I don't want to chance Naminé getting hurt. **

"Nay," said Sora, Riku, Erato, Terpsichore, Erato, and Polyhymnia in unison.

Kairi sighed. "Fine. I'll stay here and hold down the fort. But you owe me big for this."

Sora squeezed Kairi's hand. "I know."

XXX

Kairi knocked on the door to Riku's house and found it open. She shrugged and went in.

Lionel was lying on the couch. "Hi, Kairi. What's up?"

"Riku's on a quest, and he probably won't be home for dinner."

"That's nice."

_Whew. That was easy. Now for Sora's parents. _Kairi ran down the road to Sora's house and knocked on the door.

Maia answered it. She was carrying a tea tray. "Kairi? What is it?"

"Um, please don't be mad at me. Sora had to leave on some extremely urgent business. The world's in danger again."

Maia dropped her tea tray. The teapot shattered and spilled tea on the floor. "Really? Why didn't he tell me?"

_Because you'd tie him to his bed if he had. _"He didn't want to worry you."

Maia began gathering the broken bits of porcelain. "I guess this means he can survive on his own…without me."

"He went with Riku. He won't be alone. And he can take anything the forces of darkness can dish out."

"I have no doubts of that. Kairi, would you join me? I made some cookies."

"Sure." Kairi followed Maia to the dining room.

"Can I ask you a sensitive question?" Maia asked.

"What about?"

"When you, Sora, and Riku came home, you told me about Roxas and Naminé."

"Yes. Why?"

"I want to talk to Naminé."

"She only likes to come out when I'm alone." Kairi shrugged. "Usually it's just me. My parents don't even know about her. But I can try to get her to talk." She closed her eyes. "Naminé? If you can hear me, please answer. Maia wants to talk to you."

Kairi's voice changed to a higher, softer tone. **"What is it?" **

Maia looked startled. "Naminé? I have a favor to ask you."

"**I'll try, to the best of my ability." **

Maia sighed. "Kairi, Naminé. What I'm about to tell you cannot leave us. You are not to tell my husband, and you especially cannot tell Sora."

"Okay," replied Kairi hesitantly.

"**I understand," **said Naminé.

"You said Naminé can control the memories of those connected with Sora. Is that true?"

"**Yes," **Naminé said. **"I've never been able to understand why or how." **

Maia wrung her hands. "Well, there's this one memory that's been plaguing me since I was little. It's incomplete, but it's scary and sinister. I think I may have witnessed a murder in my childhood. That's the only explanation I can come up with."

"**What happened?" **

"The memory is so incomplete," Maia began. "That I can't identify the people. There are two people standing in a room. One person yells something I can't make out, then stabs the other. Did this really happen? If it did, I want to do something about it. If it was just a dream brought on by too many of Gordon's coconut burgers, then I won't feel bad about forgetting it. I want you to complete the memory."

"**Are you absolutely sure?" **

"Yes," Maia said. "I keep seeing this memory in nightmares. And over the years, the nightmares have become more frequent. I'm starting to think death is preferable to living with it."

"**Was there a murder here in your childhood? This is such a small community…" **

"That's the thing. There wasn't." Maia said. "Another idea was that it's some sort of prophecy, but that's ridiculous. I'm not psychic at all."

"**I'm going to delve into your heart and try to bring the rest of the memory into the light. But you have to stay calm." **

Maia nodded. "Yes. I'll try." She lay on the couch and closed her eyes. "I'm ready."

Naminé closed the eyes she now shared with Kairi and concentrated. She found dozens of memories, each as clear as a photograph. Maia as a little girl. Teenage Maia and Gordon sharing a paopu fruit. Maia cradling Baby Sora. Maia performing CPR on a very young Kairi. Maia defending Sora against a black, slimy monster. But there was something blocking the murder memory.

**Kairi? **

"What?" Kairi asked.

**May I use your Keyblade? **

"Why?"

**I found where the bad memory is. But it leaked from behind a seal on her heart. To see the rest of the memory, I need to break the seal. **

Kairi shrugged. "I'm curious as to where this is going, so sure." The flower-studded Keyblade materialized in her hand with a white light.

Naminé took the Keyblade and held it over Maia. **"Oh, Keyblade, please lend me your power and open this seal." **A shower of white lights fell over Maia.

Maia sat up suddenly. "What…what's happening? Mother?" She clutched her chest. "Uggh." She stood up, then quickly sank to her knees. "Sudden pain."

"Naminé, what did you do?!" Kairi cried.

"**I don't know. I just broke the seal, and she went crazy." **

"Please…make it stop!" Tears flowed freely down Maia's face. "Why was I even born?" She buried her face in her hands, muffling loud sobs. "I wish I could just die now. I wish my heart would just stop. True death. I remember everything, but why? Why did it have to come to this?! I just want to slip away. Forever."

"Naminé," Kairi said. "Just erase it! Look at her. She's suffering."

**I can't…not while she's in this panicked state. I could damage her good memories. We need to calm her down somehow. **

"I know where my mom keeps the Valium."

**Kairi, we're not drugging Sora's mother!**

"Well, how else are we supposed to calm her down?" Kairi snapped.

**If I had a crying spell, I'd just wait it out. She's eventually going to run out of tears. **

Kairi looked at the still-crying Maia. "That could take a while."

"**Maia," **Naminé said. "**There are people who love you. Think of Sora. Think of your husband. What is upsetting you so much that you would want to abandon them?" **

Maia tried to reply, but could only gasp softly.

To Be Continued


	4. Recurrent Shudders

Maia was curled on the couch in the fetal position. Every few minutes, her sobs would slow, only to start up again.

**Kairi? I don't think she's going to stop crying anytime soon.**

"So what do we do?" Kairi asked.

**Maybe Sora needs to come back. **

Besides that. It's not like we can just call him. _Stupid overprotective boyfriend..._

**Call? Yes! That's it. Let's call her husband! **

"Gordon?" Kairi asked. "I guess if anyone could cheer her up, it's him."

**But we can't leave her alone. **

"Maybe you could watch her while I call?"

**How? **

"You could do that thing you did at the Organization's castle. Where you popped out of me and made the darkness portal?"

**All right, but hurry. I can't sustain projection very long. **A nearly transparent image of Naminé materialized in front of Kairi and stood by the couch.

Kairi grabbed the phone receiver, expertly turned the crank, and pulse-dialed Gordon's workplace number.

"Kodachrome Photo Shoppe, Gordon Pleiades speaking," came a cheerful male voice.

"Hey, Gordon. It's Kairi."

"Kairi! How are you?"

"Fine. But I'm at your house right now, and something's wrong with your wife."

"Is she hurt?" Concern was apparent in Gordon's voice.

"No. It's just that she won't stop crying."

"I'll be right there."

Kairi hung up the phone and turned to Naminé. "OK, he's coming." Kairi offered her hand to Naminé, who took it gratefully. Naminé's image faded.

Maia stopped sniffling, and her breathing became even. Her eyes closed.

**Looks like she wore herself out. **

"Now you can erase the bad memory," Kairi whispered. "Problem solved."

**I'd rather not. **

"What?"

**I don't really 'erase' memories. I just sever the bonds that link memories. **

"Then break the chains."

**Even if I do that, it's possible Maia can still remember it – and spontaneously rebuild the chain. Then she'll just be unhappy again. **

"Then break it again."

**NO! I WON'T DO IT! **

Kairi clutched her temples. "Ow! You don't have to yell! You're in my head, you know. I can hear you just fine."

**I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yell. I just don't feel right about it. To have this kind of power over someone's mind. **

"But you said you rewrote all of Sora's memory. Here, you're just erasing a bad memory. Only good can come out of it."

**King Mickey once told me that even bad memories have a place in a good life. I wanted to cloud Donald's memories of the misery he's suffered at the hands of his nephews. But I didn't, and I think Donald's better off for it. I want to know why Maia is so upset by this. I saw the complete memory. It's the strangest thing, but it's not _her_ memory. **

"Not her memory?"

**It's just as she said. A woman stabbing a man. I recognize the room they're in. It's in Castle Oblivion. Specifically, the room I slept in when the Organization rented it from Queen Mnemosyne. **

"What?! Are you sure?!"

**I recognize the bed, the walls, and the photographs on the walls. Maia has only left the Islands once – when she went to Traverse Town. She's never been to Castle Oblivion. Thus, she couldn't have seen the events. And I doubt it's a scene from a long-forgotten movie. **

"So what happens now?"

**When she wakes up, I want to ask her some questions. Maybe ask Gordon some questions too. You can do the talking. **

"You're going to have to overcome your fear of public speaking someday, Naminé." No answer. "Naminé? Very funny, Naminé."

The door opened, and Gordon came in. He was about six foot four. His ginger brown hair spiked forward in front. His eyes were bright blue, exactly like Sora's. He had a small but sunny smile on his face so often that he seemed underdressed the few occasions he was without it. "What happened?"

"She just started crying," Kairi explained, deciding the explanation about the memories was too complicated. "And wouldn't stop."

"Where's Sora?"

Kairi chuckled nervously. "That might be difficult to explain."

"He ran away?!"

"No, not at all. He went to investigate something off-world."

"He's left again?!" Gordon's voice had a distinct, irritated edge – a reaction that equaled explosive rage in anyone else.

"No. It was an emergency! You know Sora wouldn't leave without a good reason."

"Legendary hero, or not, he knows better than to worry his mother like this!"

_Hoo boy. Exactly the kind of thing he wanted to avoid._

"Gareth..." muttered Maia in her sleep.

Gordon sighed and went upstairs. He returned with a pillow and several blankets. He delicately placed the pillow under Maia's head and the blankets over her. "We'll talk outside, Kairi."

XXX

Sora, Riku, Erato, Polyhymnia, and Terpsichore walked down the manicured path to Disney Castle.

"I hope the service here is better than that inn," Erato said.

"Yeah," Terpsichore agreed. "The sheets were coarse, the wallpaper hideous, and the bed was hard."

"By the way," Polyhymnia said. "When we were on the islands, I got a weird reading."

"What kind of reading?" Sora asked.

Polyhymnia shook her head. "I don't know."

"Cross-interference from three Keyblades being in such close proximity?" Erato suggested.

"Maybe," replied Polyhymnia.

"You can detect Keyblades?" Riku asked.

"How do you think we found you guys?" Terpsichore answered. "The Keyblade radiates magical energy."

Sora nodded. "I see."

The party reached the front gates of Disney Castle. The guards, upon seeing Sora, parted to let them pass into a foyer.

"Keyblades," Riku commented. "The ultimate V. I. P. pass."

A prim-looking woman in a pink dress was seated behind a desk. She was currently on the phone. "Disney Castle. Please hold." She looked at Sora. "May I help you?"

"We're here to see King Mickey," Sora said confidently.

"He's in a meeting right now," the receptionist said. "But you're welcome to sit and wait." She picked up the phone again. "No more excuses! Where is my child support?! Look, Pete, I don't want to hear it! If I don't get that check in the next week, you can just stick it in your ear!" She tugged a handful of auburn hair in frustration. "I know it won't fit! It's just a figure of speech!"

Sora slowly inched away. He turned to Riku. "I'm going to use the little boys' room. Be right back." He turned and rushed down the hall.

Riku turned to Erato. "You said one of your sisters is dead?"

"Yes," Erato said.

"She died defiled," Polyhymnia replied.

"She killed herself," Terpsichore corrected. "After an argument with our mother."

Polyhymnia scowled. "Yes, and she's being punished for her sin. I can't even bring myself to say her name."

Erato sighed. "Polly, if sex is such a sin to you, why do you have all that porn under your bed?"

Polyhymnia flushed pink. "I do not!"

Erato took a cigarette out of her pocket and twirled it in her fingers without lighting it. "Oh, so you read _Playboy _for the articles? And what about that copy of _Lord of the G-Strings_?"

Riku laughed. "So, Polyhymnia, underneath that nun's habit...you really are a bad girl."

Polyhymnia's face turned crimson. "I am not!"

XXX

Meanwhile, Sora walked down the white marble halls. Just as he passed an open door, a telephone book flew by him. Curious, he peeked inside.

Scrooge McDuck was behind a large mahogany desk, glaring.

Sora picked up the book and went inside the office. "Mr. McDuck?"

"Sorry, laddie. Did not see you there."

**You are pretty thin, **Roxas said snidely. **Must be hard to see you in profile. **

"At least I'm not a total fatso like you," Sora muttered under his breath.

"What?" Scrooge asked.

"Why'd you throw the phone book?" Sora asked quickly.

"Because throwing a paperweight will break it, and they cost ten munny to replace," Scrooge replied. "King Mickey wants me to add a welfare program to the castle budget! Lousy good-for-nothings getting free money...it's appalling!" Scrooge grumbled and turned back to his papers.

Sora shrugged and continued to the bathroom. He locked it behind him. There was a single toilet and sink. Sora stood before the sink and stared into the mirror. "Roxas, how could you? Now I have to wash out my mouth with soap."

**What's wrong with it? **

"I don't ever want to hear that word out of my mouth again! You can say it all you want in my head, but never say it when you're talking through me!"

**Oh, please. Riku called our mom a bitch. He had that coming. **

"It's not that I'm mad at you for telling him off. It's because you said the 'f' word!"

**It doesn't hurt anyone. **

"Do you realize how many baby angels you just killed?"

**Axel cussed a lot more than I did. And Xigbar. And Larxene. And Xaldin. And sometimes Xemnas. Even the stiffer members occasionally said 'hell' or 'damn.' **

"It's rude and ungentlemanly."

**Luxord was a gentleman, and man, you should have heard him when he lost a poker game. Veritable baby angel _genocide. _**

"That's horrible."

**Quit being such a wet blanket. What would you say if I told you I wasn't a virgin? **

Sora gasped. "What?!"

**And I didn't lose it to Naminé, either. **

"Who was it?" It was a question Sora would immediately regret asking.

**I don't remember her name. Those weird street names all blur together. **

Sora buried his face in his hands. "You had sex with a prostitute?"

**Prostitutes. Plural.**

"Roxas, I'm not really comfortable discussing this with you."

**Do you still believe a stork delivered you to your parents in a cute little bundle? You're here because Mom and Dad did it. **

"I know _that_."

**I see the way you look at Kairi. You're just waiting for the moment when you two are alone together…**

"Not until we're married."

**Do you think Kairi wants to wait that long? Aren't you going to consider her feelings? And what about mine? I don't want to wait that long for Naminé!**

"What if Naminé doesn't want to? You can't force her into that. Sex is supposed to be special. It's supposed to be between two loving people. Those who want to spend their lives together and raise a family."

**Please. In Puritanland, maybe. Do you honestly believe in your heart that Riku is still a virgin? And I've heard Donald talk in his sleep. And did you notice Daisy feeling Donald's butt the last time we were here? And Goofy has a kid. Proof positive that he's been laid. **

"Actually, I always just assumed Max was a clone…"

**Goofy is not parthenogenetic!**

"Where's your proof?"

**The fact that Goofy's a guy. Parthenogenesis is only possible in females. And the fact that Goofy was married once.**

"There's no proof 'Mrs. Goofy' ever existed. Goofy's never shown me any pictures, or even given me a first name! He's one of my best friends! He wouldn't keep secrets from me!

**What, it's a conspiracy? What about Clarabelle? Or Silvia Marpole?**

"Goofy didn't meet Silvia until after Max was born. And Max is clearly a dog, not a cow-dog hybrid."

**Just because Goofy doesn't even offer a first name doesn't mean Mrs. Goofy didn't exist. I should know. **

"Can we please get back to the topic at hand! This is my body, and I choose what we do with it! If that means you have to wait to sleep with Naminé until Kairi and I are on our honeymoon…"

**I hate you. **

"If Kairi gets pregnant, my mom will have a heart attack! Ever considered that?"

**You're my Other. You're not my dad!**

"I'm pretty sure Dad will uphold my decision."

**Aaargh! **

"Look, can we talk about this some other time?"

**And I suppose you'll say 'We'll see.' Thinly disguised 'no.' Xemnas pulled that same crap when we asked for raises. Or more days off. **

"You're too smart, you know that?"

**Someone has to be the smart one. **

"This conversation is over!" Sora opened the door and returned to the waiting room, all the while ignoring Roxas's stream of curses.

The receptionist pointed down the hall. "The King will see you now."

XXX

Gordon and Kairi were outside the Pleiades house. Gordon stood by the porch rail while Kairi sat on the porch swing.

"She has to let go someday," Kairi said. "Sora's not a kid anymore."

"He's still young to be leaving home, don't you think?" Gordon asked.

The front door opened, and Maia stepped out. Her eyes looked puffy. "I think I owe both of you an explanation."

"Go on," Kairi replied.

Maia continued. "I didn't believe you when you told me Sora was gone. I assumed it was a cruel joke."

"I wouldn't be that mean," Kairi said.

Maia sighed. "And I hoped that if I played along and pretended nothing happened, you'd give up and say 'just kidding.' But it looks like I was wrong. Joke's on me. Go ahead. Laugh."

"He's going to get it when he gets home," Gordon said.

"This is a new side I'm seeing, Gordon," Kairi said. "I like it. You're not a total wuss."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gordon asked.

"You never disagree with anyone, you never raise your voice. Ned Flanders is more confrontational than you!"

"And how does that make me a wuss?"

"Riku says you're a total pushover. I believe him. If a burglar broke into your house, I'd bet you'd hand over the cash and say 'Would like my wife's jewelry with that?'"

Gordon shook his head. "Riku's the wuss. Ever notice the bruises on his mother's face? Now, Lionel Beechwood can barely stand up, let alone punch with enough force to leave purple bruises. Only a coward would hit a defenseless woman."

"Touché," Kairi replied.

"If you're done bickering," Maia said. "I have something to share. Both of you need to hear this." She sighed. "Everything makes sense. The demon, the letters, Roxas, even Sora's return from the dead."

"What are you saying, Maia?" asked Gordon.

"Gordon, do you remember your true name?"

"What are you talking about? I've always been Gordon L. Pleiades."

"Gordon, there are things you don't know about me. Or about yourself. Or about our son."

"We keep nothing from each other. What's gotten into you, Maia?"

"Follow me. Both of you." Maia walked

Gordon and Kairi shrugged and followed.

"Do you remember Chappu?" Maia asked as they crossed the neighborhood.

"Wakka's brother?" Kairi asked. "Yeah?"

"The cause of the rumors that Wakka's mother played false with Tidus' dad?" Gordon said jokingly. "Yes. Pity what happened to him."

The three reached the end of the neighborhood and into a forest. At last they came to a clearing. A large tree overlooked a blue pond filled with water lilies. A blitzball lay in the dirt.

"I loved this spot as a little girl," Maia said. "I'd come here to think. Gordon proposed to me here."

"I wasn't allowed to come here," Kairi commented. "My dad said this pond was haunted. And then Chappu died here."

"They found him at the bottom," Gordon said. "With a subarachnoid hemorrhage."

"It's deeper than it looks," Maia said. "And there are slippery rocks at the bottom. The rational explanation is that he slipped and struck his head before he drowned." She picked up the blitzball. "But people say they've seen Chappu around here."

"A ghost?" Kairi guessed.

Maia held the blitzball to her chest and closed her eyes.

A harsh wind blew through the trees. The water began to shimmer. Tiny, glowing lights appeared. Something surfaced from the water, a glowing white orb that floated toward Maia. The golden lights touched the orb, making it expand into amorphous fog. As more lights hit it, it began to take the shape of a young boy. Color seeped into its skin, turning it from white to peach to tan. The hair became a fiery red. It was unmistakably Chappu, looking just as he did the morning he died.

"What happened?" Chappu asked.

"You tell us," Kairi said hesitantly.

Chappu leaned closer to her. "Kairi? Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me."

"You're a babe!"

"Your brother's looking for you," Maia said quickly. "Don't worry him any longer."

Chappu nodded. "Okay!" He ran off toward the town.

Once Chappu was out of earshot, Gordon spoke. "What in Nomura's name was that?!"

"The ritual of materialization," Maia explained. "The reconstruction of a person through an object that contains their remnant feelings. Ordinarily, only a Princess of Heart or a Daughter of Destiny is able to perform this ritual. Kairi, who are the other Princesses?"

Kairi shrugged. "Aurora, Belle, Cinderella, Jasmine, Snow White, and..." She made a face. "Some girl named Alice."

"There are only seven Princesses at any given moment in time," Maia added. "There are currently nine Daughters of Destiny. But there used to be ten. The tenth was called Sappho. And she..." Maia fought back a fresh round of tears. "Is me."

"Whaaaat?!" Gordon cried.

"Another split personality?" Kairi asked.

"No, not like you sharing your body with Naminé," Maia said. "This life – my current life as Maia Pleiades – is a reincarnation of the deceased Sappho. When humans reincarnate, their memories are erased."

"Do you know why?" Gordon asked.

"Humans have short life-expectancies. People generally live to be seventy or eighty around here. But it can vary, depending on what world you're in or how you live. Quaintinia is still stuck in the Dark Ages. People don't expect to live past age _twenty-five_ there. My mother thought they have enough problems in their current lives to worry about unfinished business in their past lives. Since I have divine blood, I still have my memories of my life as Sappho. Except for some reason my mother sealed them. Traces of the memory leaked from behind the seal. Naminé broke the seal."

"What was the memory you told us about?" Kairi asked.

"The worst memory. But I better start at the beginning. I grew up in my mother's castle, Oblivion. I was the baby of the family. Unlike my sisters, I wasn't even allowed to leave the castle. I hope that doesn't sound like the castle was a prison, because it wasn't. My sisters took care of me when they weren't on field duty. I spent my days going horseback riding or stargazing with Urania. Sometimes I'd cry over sad movies with Erato and Melpomene. Once in a while, we had visitors. People who'd come to ask Queen Mnemosyne for favors. If the guest managed to go through thirteen floors, Mnemosyne would hear their request. We'd all sit at the dinner table, with the guest, and Mnemosyne asked the guest to make a toast. Usually the person toasted Mother. Once in a while, someone would toast one of my sisters. Never me.One guest was different. His name was Gareth. He was a lot more polite than the other guests. He took time to ask us questions, memorized our names. And he made me laugh. That might not seem monumental, but I had never laughed before in my life. My sister Thalia could tell hilarious jokes, but I could only smile at them. Anyway, my mother asked Gareth what he wanted. He was a knight, and had come to Castle Oblivion on a mission for his king. The king's daughter was deathly ill. Gareth had come for medicine. My mother showed him that by the time he had reached the top floor, the girl's fever had broken. She would recover. Gareth thought a moment, then said he still wanted the medicine, in case someone else came down with the same sickness. My mother gave him some elixir. After dinner, I went to my garden to water my lilies. Gareth was there. We talked."

"_I admit it was a hard choice when the Queen asked me what I most desired," Gareth said. _

"_Weren't you here on a mission for your king?" Sappho asked. _

"_Yes, but little Lucinda has recovered. I could have asked for anything. I could have asked to be rich, or to have my own kingdom. But I took an oath to fulfill my mission. My king would be disappointed if I faltered and did not return with the medicine. Especially if I was working for my own gain." _

"_What did you want?" _

"_I was tempted to ask for your hand in marriage. But that would have been too underhanded, and I doubt your mother would have consented. I wanted to ask you myself." Gareth reached into his pocket and pulled out a shiny gold diamond ring. "I know this ring isn't worth much. The diamonds aren't very big. But my father told me to keep it always, to give to the woman who captured my heart. I know you'll say no, but please let me ask you to marry me. And I want you to have this, even if you say no."_

"I knew I wasn't supposed to, but I really wanted to say yes," Maia said. "I knew I wouldn't see my mother or sisters again, but I wanted to go with him. I took him back to my room because I knew my sisters might be listening. He was about to ask me to marry him, but I began to cry at the thought of disappointing him. He tried to cheer me up, and I started to giggle. I guess my mother heard me laughing, because the next thing I knew…she was in the room.

"_YOU!" Mnemosyne appeared in the doorway. "What are you doing with my daughter?!" She reached for the fireplace poker. _

"_Mother!" Sappho cried. "No!" _

_Gareth turned to face Mnemosyne, who stabbed him with the poker. The poker slid easily through Gareth's stomach and through his back. He gasped, fell to his knees, then lay still. _

_Mnemosyne collected an iridescent orb from the body – Gareth's soul. _

_Sappho cradled Gareth's body in her arms. "You killed him." _

"_He earned his punishment," Mnemosyne said simply. "A mortal cannot love a goddess." _

"_Give him back." _

"_Sappho, your judgement is clouded. You do not know the depths to which depraved mortals will stoop." _

"_He came all this way to get medicine for a sick little girl, even fought his way through your mind maze for it. Does that seem depraved to you?!" _

"_Think like a goddess. Don't concern yourself with one mortal. A human's life is just a fleeting moment. You shouldn't allow such trivial matters to concern you." _

"_Trivial?! How arrogant of you." _

"_Know your place, Sappho." _

"_I hate you." Sappho picked up Gareth's spear. "I never want to see you again! I will not forgive you!" _

"I meant it, too," Maia said. "I couldn't forgive her for what she'd done. I talked to my sisters, but they all agreed with my mother. I know it seems stupid, but I couldn't imagine life without him. I went to the top parapet of the castle. I threw myself over the edge, and that's the last thing I remember."

"Where is Gareth now?" Kairi asked.

"Right in front of you," Maia replied. "Gordon is Gareth's reincarnation, just as Maia is Sappho's. I've known Gordon for over thirty years. I know him. I can recognize him, even in another form."

"So...your mother reincarnated you as a human, so you can always be with Gareth?" Kairi asked. "I guess she realized that you really loved him."

"Maybe it was to make sense of things," Gordon said. "Mnemosyne seemed to look down on mortals. Her daughter loving a mortal was something she couldn't handle. I know it sounds spiteful, but I can't help but hate her. She killed me. And she hurt you, Maia. I can't forgive her for it, either."

Tears ran down Maia's face, but she wasn't sobbing. They were tears of happiness. "You understand. Every time I think you've done every good thing I can possible imagine, you find a new way to make me happier."

"If you two would kindly refrain from mushy stuff until I'm gone, I'd appreciate it," Kairi said, folding her arms. _I wish I had brought a video camera. This is such prime blackmail material. _"I'm surprised Sora doesn't have any siblings. Unless you count Roxas."

"Roxas," Maia said. "That reminds me. Kairi, do you know what this revelation means in the context of Sora?"

"Not really," Kairi said.

"Mnemosyne's daughters are psychopomps. Usually souls can reincarnate without our help, but sometimes they need guidance. We can use ourselves as vessels to carry lost hearts and souls. Sora inherited this ability. When you lost your heart, Sora carried it with him – never realizing it."

Kairi was stunned.

"And when he released his own heart to restore yours, his body and soul vanished. He became a Heartless. But when you touched him..."

"He reappeared."

"You materialized him without even knowing. You acted as both the catalyst and the object. When you hugged the Heartless Sora, you concentrated deeply enough to awaken your power. All the pieces of Sora's body and soul recoalesced into one being. Except a missing piece of soul that never came back. That piece became Roxas."

"He inherited the ability to materialize?" Gordon asked.

"Exactly. But since Sora lost his heart the instant he stabbed himself, he couldn't materialize himself. Only his Nobody. Naminé was formed the same way. Sora blindly attempted to materialize Kairi."

"But what are people going to say?" Kairi demanded. "When Chappu is walking around as if nothing happened?"

"If the townspeople knew the truth," Maia said. "They'd kill me for sure. Luckily, Chappu is as much in the dark as they are. They'll probably just call it a miracle."

"Why did you tell me all this?" Kairi asked. "I understand why you'd tell your husband, but why me? You don't even like me."

"I'll be honest," Maia admitted. "I don't approve of those tight dresses you wear. Frankly, I think Sora's better off with any of the other single girls he met on his travels. But you're still his friend. Not to mention you're a Princess of Heart. As one of the guardians of Kingdom Hearts, you have a duty. You needed to be reminded of your own power. Besides, you have the right to be angry at me."

"Why would I be mad?"

"Angry that I put Sora in danger?" Maia said. "That I gave him such a dangerous gift? How could I have done that to him? It's the same as if I had cut his throat and sacrificed him to Calamity."

"How could you say that?!" Gordon snapped. "You didn't even realize you had these powers until this afternoon! You had no way of knowing you passed them to your son. You would never hurt Sora!"

"Which is why I have to apologize to him," Maia said. "I'm going to find him."

"I'm coming with you," Gordon said. "Sora's my son too. And I'll protect you to the best of my ability."

"Sora's not going to die!" Kairi drew her Keyblade. "I've killed dozens of Heartless with this. I'm coming with you."

Maia shook her head. "Your parents would never allow it."

Kairi folded her arms. "I had this same argument with Sora and Riku. They used majority rule against me."

"It's two against one here, too," Gordon said. "If you think for a second, I'm going to let you come with us."

Kairi smirked. "If you leave without me, I might let it slip how Chappu came back to life."

"You wouldn't," Gordon said, the irritated edge back in his voice.

"When Maia comes back, they'll be all too eager to grab their torches and pitchforks. Even if they don't kill her, does she really want people to know about her power? My request to come with you guys seems fairly mild. Sure you don't want to change your vote?"

Maia sighed. "All right. You can go. But you have to do as we say. Come on. Let's get ready."

**That was a bit low,** Naminé whispered.

Kairi groaned. "_Now_ you talk, Naminé."

XXX

The meeting room of Disney Castle looked like a typical conference room. Maps lined the walls. King Mickey, his Captain of the Guard, and the Court Magician addressed their guests.

What was not typical was the fact that King Mickey was a three foot tall bipedal mouse. With a squeaky voice. Or the fact his Captain was aptly named Goofy. Or the fact that the Court Magician, Donald, was scowling.

"I'm happy to see you again," Mickey said. "I just wish we could have met again under better circumstances."

Donald interrupted. "Your Majesty, this is ridiculous. We have no proof these girls are telling the truth! We don't know if Calamity exists."

"Well, pardon us if we forgot to bring our filing cabinets full of evidence," Erato said bitterly. "We were fleeing for our lives."

"Well, I think we should hear them out," Goofy said.

Sora looked at the six girls seated around the round table. There were the ones he had met this morning – Terpsichore, Erato, and Polyhymnia. He had been introduced to the others by the King. The first, Clio, was dressed in a blue business suit, with an ascot tie and jeweled pin. The second, named Urania, wore an equestrian outfit of a navy riding jacket, white dickey, vest, and riding breeches. Euterpe, the third, wore full body armor.

"Our oldest sister, Calliope, will show you the evidence you so desire, Mr. Duck," Euterpe said. "She's speaking with Master Yen Sid at his Tower."

"We can offer this," Urania extracted a Victorian-style miniature from her jacket.

Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Sora, and Riku leaned in to look at the portrait, but banged their heads together. "Oww!" They chorused.

"It's not concrete proof that Calamity exists," Urania added. "But it's the reason why we're asking you, the Keybearers, for help."

The portrait was of a tall woman in an elaborate white dress that reached the floor. A three-pointed tiara of sparkling diamonds held a lace veil in place, covering her long red hair. In her right hand, she held what was unmistakably Sora's version of the Kingdom Key.

For a minute, there was silence.

"I think I've seen her before," Sora said finally. "From the back."

"She's dead," Euterpe replied. "She's been dead for four thousand years. It's impossible."

"I saw her in a dream," Sora said.

"Can you tell us about it?" Clio replied.

"Not much to say. I thought she was Kairi, from the back."

"Even though Kairi's a lot shorter than she is?" Polyhymnia said.

"I thought she had grown up. I thought it was Kairi, in her wedding dress. I took it as a sign. I called out to her in my dream, but she never answered. She never turned around."

"Do you know who she is?" Erato asked.

"No," Sora said.

"Her name was Kore," Urania said.

"Kore was a Keyblade Master?!" Sora cried.

"You do know her?" Clio inquired.

"She was a hero in my mother's bedtime stories. My mother never mentioned a Keyblade, though. She called Kore's weapon, 'the sword of light.'"

"But how did your mom hear about Kore?" Goofy asked.

"I don't know," Sora said. "All I know are the stories. That Kore had all these adventures. And she killed Calamity once upon a time. I didn't know she had a Keyblade."

"Has your mother ever met with these ladies?" Mickey asked.

Sora shook his head. "I don't think so. I've never met any of them before this morning."

"Meaning Mrs. Pleiades got the stories from another source." Mickey pushed the miniature back toward Urania. "I want to meet with your oldest sister."

"I guess if your Majesty believes them, I'm in too," Donald said.

"A-hyuck. Me too," Goofy added.

"I want to help them, too," Sora declared.

"Me too," Riku said.

"Then it's settled," Mickey said.

"Teleporting may be risky," Euterpe said. "If we use our power too often, we might give away our position. Calamity may be scanning the worlds for us as we speak."

"Then we'll take a Gummi Ship," Mickey said.

Donald whistled. "Minnie's gonna be so pissed."

Mickey looked sad. "Yes, but that can't be helped. Let's go."

To Be Continued


	5. Eternal Spirits Arise

King Mickey's Gummi Ship rapidly flew through the reaches of space. It was streamlined, painted blue with Mickey's insignia emblazoned on the side. Mickey was piloting the ship, while Urania guided him.

Which of course left the other passengers to mill around and talk amongst themselves. Sora and Goofy were in the middle of a spirited discussion.

"Even if he were alive," Goofy argued. "He'd get his butt kicked."

"Roxas calls your bluff," replied Sora.

Goofy shook his head. "Oh, leave Roxas out of it."

"Why? Because two against one is too cheap?"

"He's biased. He worked under the guy."

"That may be," Sora said. "But I still agree with him. There were times during that battle when I wanted to kiss whoever invented the Reflect spell."

"The guy had no depth perception! Put him against an equally skilled gunman who still has both eyes, and…"

"You're underestimating the Nobodies' resistance to damage!"

Donald turned around in his seat, fists clenched and eye twitching. "Hey, guess what? No one cares who would win a crazy fantasy gunfight between Panchito and Xigbar!"

Meanwhile, Riku was talking to Erato. "Can I ask you something?"

"Hmm?" Erato replied. "What is it?"

"What exactly are you paying Sora and me for getting rid of Calamity?"

"Anything you want," Erato said. "Your own business? Your own private island? A money bin that dwarfs Scrooge McDuck's?"

"Would you be able to cure my dad?"

"Your dad? The lupus?"

"How did you know he had lupus?"

Erato snorted. "I do my homework. I wasn't going to ask for your help if I didn't know enough about you and your family. Lupus erythematosus is an autoimmune disease. The immune system mounts a response against the body's natural tissues."

"That's what the doctors say. Is there something you can do?"

"There is no cure for lupus. Anywhere in the entire system of worlds."

"But there has to be something. Sometimes I wish…I don't care how Kevorkian this sounds…but I wish he had been eaten by Heartless. Then he wouldn't have to deal with the pain and the uncaring wife and all that other stuff." Riku sighed. "Does that make me a terrible person?"

"It shows how you want your father to be all right. But would you actually…?"

Riku shook his head. "Of course not. I wouldn't hurt my dad on purpose. My friend Tidus is always saying that he'd kill _his _dad if given the chance, but I think he's a bit nuts. I can smack my mom, but my dad…well, I just can't. Are you sure there's nothing you can do? I mean, you're a goddess, aren't you?"

"I could give him immunosuppressants, but do you have a hermetically sealed bubble in which he may live?" Erato shrugged. "Otherwise he'd die of infection within a week. But there's something my mother might be able to provide."

"What's that?"

"The Elixir of Life. It's a special potion that only she knows how to make. A few doses will clean out the bad cells in your father's body. Once those cells are gone, the inflammation will stop. No inflammation, no more organ failures, and no more unnecessary pain."

"So when I get rid of Calamity, I can ask your mom for that Elixir…?"

"My mother won't say no to such a noble request. Especially if you've just saved her life. Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Are you kidding? After years of seeing my father confined to the couch? After years of having to give him his medicine?" Riku took out several medicine-filled syringes from his pocket. "And I won't have to lug around these anymore?"

"Pity," Erato said, batting her eyes. "I was hoping you'd ask for a date with me."

"Ahem," Euterpe, who was seated on Erato's left, cleared her throat. "Would you please behave yourself? Mortal men will eat you alive if you keep making such flirtatious remarks."

"Your concern is touching," Erato replied sarcastically.

"What about Sappho?" Euterpe countered. "She died because a mortal tried to take liberties with her. If our mother hadn't stopped him…"

"Then why did she kill herself?" Erato asked. "Mom's explanation's a bit too simple."

Euterpe rolled her eyes. "Are you so dense that you can't see what's in front of you, Erato? Sappho killed herself because she was traumatized by that creep."

"You don't sound convinced," Riku said. "You sound like you're trying to tell yourself instead of your sister."

"Riku, I want you to answer this honestly," Euterpe said. "Do you, in your heart, believe that love can exist between human and god?"

"Yes," Riku answered. _That ought to score me a few points with Miss Erato. _

Euterpe sniffed. "Then you're a fool."

"Don't mind the grouch, Riku." Erato said.

Mickey's voice rang out over the intercom. "We're about to enter Twilight Town's atmosphere. Fasten your seatbelts."

Polyhymnia clutched her chest and breathed heavily. She began to cry as the Gummi Ship descended.

"Are you okay?" Riku asked. He reached for Polyhymnia's hand.

Polyhymnia jerked her hand back. "Don't…don't touch me!" She adjusted her veil so it covered her face completely.

The Gummi Ship gently coasted to a stop just outside Yen Sid's tower. Everyone got out and looked around.

"Something's not right," Mickey said.

"Yeah," Donald agreed. "It's too quiet."

"Well, let's go see Master Yen Sid," Goofy said.

Riku stared up at the tower. "Don't tell me we have to run up five flights of stairs…"

Fifteen minutes later, an out-of-breath party burst through Yen Sid's office door.

"Why doesn't he put an elevator in this stupid tower?" mumbled Donald.

Sora noticed something glittering on the ground. "What's this?" He picked up a gold tiara.

Terpsichore gasped. "That's Calliope's. She never takes it off."

Riku pointed at a large red stain on the floor. "Is that blood?"

"Ah," a deep, stern-sounding voice called out. A tall man, in long blue robes stood in the center of the room. A conical blue hat imprinted with moons and stars was on his head, and he carried a large white staff. "Your Majesty. Sora, Riku, Sir Donald, Sir George, Ladies Destiny."

"Master Yen Sid," Mickey said, looking at the bloodstain. "What happened? Was Calliope here?"

"Oh, yes," Yen Sid said, pointing to a sphere on a nearby pedestal. "My viewing ball recorded everything." He waved his hand. The ball flickered to life.

_Calliope was kneeling before Yen Sid's desk. She appeared to be about twenty three years old. A golden filigree crown adored her long black hair. She wore a green jacket decorated with gold epaulets, a green skirt, black stockings, and black dress shoes: a pastiche of a military full- dress uniform. "Oh, vaunted sorcerer Master Yen Sid, you possess unrivalled power and knowledge. I can only ask that you share that with us, as I fear the entire universe is nearing the eve of destruction."_

_Calliope's two companions, her sisters Thalia and Melpomene, stood at attention behind Calliope. They had identical facial structure and blonde hair, but the resemblance ended there. Thalia's hair was cut in a bob, and she wore a purple slip dress. Melpomene's hair was styled in loose curls, and she wore a black mourning dress. _

_There was a blinding flash of light. A tall, ethereal-looking woman appeared. She was clad in a teal medieval-style gown. Her long blonde hair was braided and reached the floor. "Forgive my nieces. They tend to be melodramatic." _

"_Don't listen to her!" Thalia cried. _

"_So the soul in that body is not the true memory goddess?" Yen Sid observed. "Isn't that right, Calamity?" _

_Calamity snorted. "Mnemosyne and I are two sides of the truth. There cannot be creation without destruction, and there can't be memory without forgetfulness. The two of us…are one. And I wouldn't have to borrow my sister's body if that little bitch Kore hadn't destroyed my original body. Master Yen Sid, I'll offer you a deal. You hand over my three fugitive nieces, and I won't get mad and level Twilight Town." _

"_Melpomene, Thalia. Run. I'm going to stall her." Calliope stepped between Calamity and Yen Sid. She raised her left hand. A golden field of energy surrounded her, crackling loudly. "Oh, blackness without beginning nor end…" _

_Yen Sid raised his staff. A beam of red light shot from the tip and pierced Calliope's back. _

_Calliope gasped and staggered forward, landing on her stomach. Her tiara fell from her hair and landed on the floor with a clatter. Blood gushed from a wound in her back, soaking her jacket. _

"_Cally!" Thalia ran to her sister's side. _

"_Master Yen Sid!" Melpomene cried. "Have you gone mad?!" _

_Calamity smiled serenely. "Pleasure doing business with you, Master." _

Yen Sid waved his hand again and the viewing ball became cloudy.

"You missed Calamity and hit Calliope?" Goofy asked. "Gawrsh, that's some bad luck."

"Don't underestimate me, Sir Geef," Yen Sid replied. "I never miss."

Donald gasped. "You hit Calliope on purpose? To save Twilight Town?"

"Is that surprising?" Yen Sid asked. "I'd hate to see a hundred thousand lives extinguished because of Calamity's temper."

"So you just let her take them?" Euterpe asked. "You attacked Calliope so she'd be unable to fight back."

Terpsichore began to cry.

"How could this happen?" Clio asked.

Mickey's hands clenched into fists. "You negotiated with a terrorist? That goes against everything you ever taught me."

Before anyone could stop her, Euterpe pulled out a dagger and plunged it into Yen Sid's shoulder, burying it to the hilt. She yanked out the knife, spilling blood everywhere. "My sisters trusted you! They thought you'd do the honorable thing and help them!"

Donald quickly cast a Curaga spell on Yen Sid. The bleeding stopped. Yen Sid left quickly to change out of his blood-soaked robes.

Euterpe turned to Donald. "Mr. Duck, why did you do that? That parasite just killed my sisters."

"You don't know that," Urania said calmly. "They could still be alive."

"Give me one good reason why we should spare him," Euterpe said. "The King himself…"

"I didn't mean for you to attack him," Mickey replied. "I'm sorry I was ever his pupil, but you had no right to hurt him!"

Euterpe pulled out a lace handkerchief and wiped her knife clean. "I can't believe I'm hearing this. I suppose if this tower ever caught fire, Yen Sid would save a hundred thousand worthless pieces of coal instead of three priceless diamonds." Tears rolled down her cheeks. "Three of my sisters are gone forever." She turned to Sora. "Don't you know what I mean…Roxas?"

"**No, I don't." **Roxas replied.

"Euterpe, give it a rest," Erato said. "There's no point in telling him…"

"**Telling me what?" **Roxas asked. **"I want to hear this." **

Euterpe shrugged. "The fact you'll never see your friend Axel again. Or why Naminé melded with Kairi? Do you know what happens to Nobodies when they die?"

"They fade away…" Sora said.

"You see, the loss of a heart destabilizes the body and soul. If the body dies, the soul denatures rapidly. Too quickly for it to reincarnate. That's true death: the annihilation of the soul. Naminé knew her pseudo-existence would end when her material body died…unless she could reunite with her 'normal' self. Now that she's part of Kairi, she can reincarnate along with her Other. I think she was hoping to be reborn with you."

"**Axel's gone?" **

"Yes," Euterpe said. "Never to be reincarnated. Never to be materialized. Never to live again. Axel may have been your best friend, but he was an evil man who earned his fate."

"_Let's meet again, in the next life…" _

"_Yeah. I'll be waiting." _

"_Silly…just because you have a next life…" _

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" **

"See?" Euterpe said. "Why can't you feel that sympathy for my sisters? They won't reincarnate after death. And they did nothing to deserve to die. Was it worth it to be the last one alive? To be the Organization's final legacy, and to know there's no hope for them?"

"**Euterpe…I think I hate you." **

"If you need someone to blame, blame Xehanort. Blame his five cronies. They resurrected the Heartless. They created the Nobody race. They invented the world you were born in and enslaved your will. And for that they paid with their souls. Whether human or Nobody, all sinners will be judged. No exceptions. Know this, vainglorious Nobody. If it had been up to me, you would have dissolved with your twelve associates in crime."

"Memo to myself, don't piss this one off," Riku muttered.

"Second that," murmured Donald.

"Did you have to tell Roxas that?" Clio asked. "Real inconsiderate, even for you, Euterpe."

Euterpe sighed. "I had hoped to teach him a lesson in compassion, seeing as Xemnas neglected to teach him any manners."

"He's incorrigible," Sora said sadly. "I've _tried_ to get him to be nice"

**I am in a REALLY bad mood right now, Sora, so you might not want to push it! **

Yen Sid re-entered, dressed in a clean robe. "There are people who may be able to help. Calliope was seeking a way to extract Calamity's soul and destroy it. A friend of mine did extensive research on souls. Go to Radiant Garden University and ask for Dr. Maechen. Oh, and Miss Euterpe? I'll be sending you the bill for that ruined robe. Blood never comes out of silk, I'm afraid."

"I won't pay." Euterpe gritted her teeth. "If I live through this, I'll come back to finish you. I won't let this sin go unpunished! Watch your back, Yen Sid!" Erato and Clio grabbed her arms and dragged her from the room.

"You might also want to explore a cave two miles west of here," Yen Sid said. "A rather famous sorcerer lived there. I've tried to recover his research, but unfortunately, the cave has been sealed shut."

"Looks like a job for the Keyblade," Sora said.

"Sora, Your Majesty, Riku?" Terpsichore asked. "You won't give us to Calamity just to save yourselves, will you?"

"Of course not," Sora replied. He held up Calliope's tiara. "I'll return this to Calliope when we rescue her. I promise."

Terpsichore nodded. "I'll hold you to that promise."

"Maybe we should go search that cave first," Mickey suggested.

Sora nodded. "Sounds good."

XXX

"All the window are closed?" Maia asked. "There's no chance of anyone getting a peek?"

Kairi folded her arms. "Yes, Mrs. Pleiades."

"Is there a chance your daddy's had my house bugged?" Maia asked.

Kairi rolled her eyes. "No. My dad hasn't bugged anyone."

"All right," Maia said. "When the Islands fell into the darkness, I panicked and looked for Sora. Gordon grabbed my arm, and I blacked out."

"I must have, too, because all I remember is waking up in Traverse Town," Gordon said.

Maia nodded. "My abilities were restricted to the span of my memories as Sappho. I could only remember those pieces, so I could only access fractions of my powers. In my mortal lifespan, I've only been able to use my power twice. Once was a holy spell when a demon attacked Sora." She pulled off her glove, revealing deep puncture wounds on her right hand. "It was a demon, pure and simple. Nothing else could leave this sort of bite. The second was an accidental transport to Traverse Town. I was thinking of Sora, and I know Sora landed there. But by the time we searched the whole town…" Maia slipped her glove back on.

"He had already left on his whirlwind adventure," Gordon finished. "And I guess we got a free ride home when the worlds got restored."

"So, Maia, now that you remember everything, you can use your power freely?" Kairi asked.

"Hypothetically, yes," said Maia. "But this flesh is still mortal. I'm still bound by mortal constraints. Meaning my powers aren't as strong as they were when I was Sappho. And if I rely too much on them, I could wear myself out. I could even die. Now, are we ready?"

"I was ready this morning," Kairi said.

"I'm ready," Gordon said.

"I'll try to see if I can pick up a large source of magical energy, but I might get some interference. So it might take me a few tries before we can find Sora." Maia wrung her hands.

XXX

Calliope didn't know how Calamity managed to convert an empty basement into a working dungeon so fast. She was chained in a kneeling position. Shards of broken glass had been placed under her knees. The gaping wound on her back had sealed, but still ached. Her sisters were sitting next to her, also chained. "Are you two okay?"

"I'm fine," Thalia said. "A little uncomfortable, but good."

"I tried a cure spell for your back," Melpomene said. "It's no good. These chains must absorb magic. Sorry."

"I guess Calamity would be too smart to use ordinary chains," Calliope muttered.

"Teleporting's out of the question," Thalia observed. "I already tried. I guess that just means we wait for the knights in shining armor to come rescue us."

"Does it feel good to lie to yourself?" Melpomene asked. "There is no prince on the white horse. The oh-so-honorable Yen Sid himself hurt Calliope. There's no one who'll risk their lives to save us. We're doomed."

"I'm glad one of three has a grasp of your situation. The door opened, revealing Calamity. "For someone who happens to be your mommy's favorite, you sure have disdain for your own family," Calamity said, seizing a handful of Calliope's black hair and tugging.

"Stop it," said Melpomene. "You're the one shutting Mom's soul out. You…you hypocrite!"

"You were eavesdropping on our Mommy all this time," Thalia said.

"It was hard," Calamity admitted. "It was hard not to speak, or think too loudly. There were times when I wanted to scream. If she knew I was conscious, it'd be over. And you little brats really compounded my misery! And then Calliope organized your little rebellion and got the Keybearers involved."

"Sora will strike you down," Thalia said calmly. "He's faced bigger cowards than you."

"For your information, Xehanort was a fool. And thus his Heartless and Nobody could be nothing but fools. I'm not afraid of Sora. In fact…I'm looking forward to our meeting. Sora's going to bring me something very precious."

Melpomene and Thalia looked toward Calliope, but she refused to meet their gaze.

"What, Calliope? Nothing to say?" Calamity dug her manicured nails into Calliope's cheek, drawing blood. "This isn't a goddamn democracy! I'm in charge now!" She reached it for a wooden chair. "Admit it."

"My mother is the true Memory Queen," Calliope replied. "You're a base coward."

Calamity sighed. "So you'll disobey me to your last breath." She dashed the chair across Calliope's chest, causing her to cry out in pain.

"Please…stop…" Melpomene whimpered. "Calamity, please, just leave her alone. Kill me if you have to hurt someone right now. I accept my demise."

Calamity shrugged. "I'm not so cruel as to deny you one last chance to be with your sisters. Enjoy your last moments." She walked out of the dungeon and slammed the door. She teleported to her throne room and summoned her lackey. "Mr. Snoops, I've got a job for the army."

"What is it?" Snoops, a fat man in a rumpled ivory suit, asked.

"Tell them to go to Port Royal and burn down all the breweries. Then steal all the alcoholic beverages. Especially the rum. Don't let any rum escape your sight."

"May I ask why?" Snoops asked.

"Look, I've been trapped for over four thousand years! I'm majorly pissed off. And it's time I pissed someone else off."

"Why Port Royal, though? Why not Devil's Bayou?"

"Because Port Royal has the largest concentration of pirates per capita than any other world."

"And?"

"Pirates love alcohol. And when they run out…"

"They'll go look for more."

"Exactly. And they'll go crazy looking for it. And loot all the towns. It'll be chaos."

"Can we drink the rum once we get it?"

"Fine. Whatever. Just make sure you get it all. And tell them to get me some Grecian Formula. Just because my sister's a ditzy blonde doesn't mean I have to look like one."

"Yes, ma'am." Snoops bowed and left.

**I hate you. **

Calamity wasn't surprised to hear her sister's voice. Mnemosyne had always been stubborn. "I was polite enough not to talk to you. Is it too much to ask the same?"

**You're not going to get away with this. **

"Where have I heard that before? Perhaps in every little kiddie cartoon ever made?"

**How did you do all this? **

"Something you may not have noticed, but I could control the body every time you fell asleep. I didn't do it every time. Just when you were in a really deep sleep. I'd go out, and make some alliances. Hades especially was eager, because you rejected his advances."

**He smells like death and has awful table manners. **

"And now I have a personal army, some guards, and a few executioners."

**I should have been more careful. **

"It hit me when Sappho's soul returned to you. That's what happens to your brats' souls when they die. But tell me, why?"

**Why what? **

"Why link Sappho's soul with that mortal's? And why seal her memory?"

**Because I thought it was best for her. **

"Your logic being?"

**That seal was designed to weaken over time. As the centuries went on, Sappho would regain her memories. She'd see the folly of loving that knight. She'd grow tired of him and return to me. Then I'd restore her divinity. Since her soul was unable to reincarnate after her suicide, I had to link it with her admirer's. Whenever one died, the other would immediately die too. Thus they'd always be reincarnated together. It was perfect, except that…**

"A certain 'Memory Witch' opened the floodgate and gave Sappho back her memories before she was 'ready'?"

**That low, stupid, ignorant humanoid Nobody! **

"I'll have to thank Naminé. I thought I was going to have to wait several more years for completion, but Sappho will come right to me. And of course, thank you, Mnemosyne. I would never have found this way to escape my predicament if you hadn't driven little Sappho to suicide."

…

"Finally she shuts up." Calamity reached for her transmitter. "Oh, Mr. Snoops? Once you're done with that briefing, could you bring me a Diet Coke? Pretty please?"

XXX

Maia opened her eyes. She, Kairi, and Gordon were standing on an empty beach.

"I don't see anyone," Kairi said.

Maia shrugged. "Something here's emitting lots of magic."

Kairi moved toward the water. "Maybe if I wade out."

A large, purple mass popped out of the water. Eight slimy tentacles protruded from its rather sizable body. Two bright yellow eyes the size of saucers gleamed above its mouth of yellow, sharp fangs. "Mind if I invite you folks to dinner?"

All the color drained from Gordon's face. "Is-Is…that an octopus?"

"Gordon?" Maia groaned. "Remember when I told you your phobia of slimy things with tentacles was cute? You know, about thirty years ago?!"

Kairi staggered back. "Ugh...what a freak of nature."

"Silence!" bellowed the octopus. "You are in the presence of octopus royalty! Bow down to Ultros the Great!"

"Kairi, what are you waiting for?" Maia asked. "Whack that thing to pieces with your Keyblade."

Kairi giggled nervously. "Umm…"

"Well?" Maia asked. "You said you killed dozens of Heartless. One octopus shouldn't be too hard!"

"Uh…" Kairi said. "Those Heartless were little Shadow Heartless. They went poof with one hit…heh heh."

Maia smacked her forehead. "Oh, great. A worthless Keyblade Wielder and a husband afraid of calamari. She raised her arm. "Faith!"

The water around Ultros turned white and glowed. A column of light surrounded him and exploded.

"Ooh…" Ultros said as the light dissipated. "That tickled."

"No good," Maia said. "I barely scratched him."

Gordon looked around. "Maybe there's something we can feed him. Maybe he's a vegetarian."

"Aww, beat it, Stretch," Ultros said. "You're too bony."

**Kairi. **Naminé said. **Stall him. **"Uh, you don't want to eat me either," Kairi said as Naminé took control of her hand, got out a sketchpad, and began to draw.

"What—what are you doing?!" Ultros asked, desperation creeping into his voice.

Scratch, scratch. **"I have to draw your portrait." **

"Noooo!" Ultros cried. "Anything but that!"

Naminé held up her rough sketch.

Ultros backed into the water and sank beneath the waves.

"What got into him?" Gordon asked.

"**Let's just say he has a phobia of little girls drawing his portrait." **A serene smile crossed Kairi's face, and for a moment, the face was uniquely Naminé – albeit with red hair.

Maia began poking through the sand. "There's something here." She brushed away sand with her gloved hand, revealing a large black stone. She picked it up. "This is it. A summon gem. Kairi?"

Kairi took the stone. "It's making me nauseous."

"Can you read it?"

"Read what?" Kairi said.

"Its thoughts. A soul is emanating from that stone."

"**It's a demon," **Naminé said.** "It inhabited the End of the World, which was a collection of remnants of the worlds destroyed by the Heartless. Sora killed him. When his body perished, his soul bonded to this stone. When Sora restored the worlds, the remnants returned. So this rock landed here. And now Chernabog is lying in wait for someone to release him."**

"How do you know that?" Kairi asked.

**Memory-reading. Chernabog's tied to Sora, because they fought. **

"You felt sick because you sensed his hostile feelings," Maia said. "Your power's still underdeveloped. If you work on it, you'll be able to read thoughts in objects the way Naminé can read memories."

"I didn't know that."

Maia shrugged. "The Princesses of Heart used to do all sorts of miracles. They could heal the sick, find missing people, even raise the dead. Unfortunately, it seems they've kind of forgotten who they are." She took the summon gem back from Kairi. "I think I'll keep this. Last thing we need is some stupid sorcerer channeling this demon." She tucked the black gem in her purse. She began poking in the sand again.

"What are you looking for?" Gordon asked.

"Nothing in particular," Maia said. "Anything that might contain a soul. Even soul fragments. In case we run into another…situation. We ought to materialize someone who can fight."

Kairi and Gordon began to search the beach.

"I found a copy of _Ishtar_ on DVD," Kairi said. "It could make a great grenade."

Gordon shook his head. "It's such a dud, it'd probably won't go off."

"I found a pendant," Maia said, retrieving a necklace from the sand. "Soul fragments present…but they've already been dispelled." She dropped it back. "Maybe its owner will come back for it."

Gordon noticed something white sticking out of the sand. He dug around it. The object was an empty white flask. "How about this?"

Maia took the flask hesitantly and looked it over. "Oh! Undispelled soul fragments." She closed her eyes. "This is perfect." She kissed Gordon on the cheek. "Thank you, pudding pop. Kairi, I need your help on this one."

"For what?" Kairi asked.

"As a Princess of Heart, you're more attuned to latent feelings than I am. This flask contains pieces of a warrior's soul. I need you to hold it, and try to imagine the person who owned this. And call out to him, to bring the rest of his soul here..."

Kairi took the flask. "You make this magic stuff look easy, but how am I…?"

"Believe, Kairi," Maia said. "Just open your heart. Try to remember how you brought back Sora, and it'll come to you."

Kairi closed her eyes. "I…I can't see anything."

"You're too tense. Relax. Just call the soul, and I'll handle the rest."

Kairi tried again. _Naminé, please…_

**You're in luck. This person's tied to Sora, too. Just concentrate…**

Suddenly an image of a tall man in shadow came to Kairi.

"You did it, Kairi," Maia said.

Kairi opened her eyes. Maia was now holding an iridescent orb.

"Let's set him free," Maia said. The orb left her fingers and floated. Glowing lights flowed from the flask and bounced off the orb. The more lights bounced, the more the orb flattened and stretched, until it was white smoke. The smoke cleared, revealing a man clad in a bright red cloak. He had jet black hair in combed-back spikes. A long sword that was nearly as long as the man was tall was strapped to his back.

"Who…are you?" The man asked. "Are you someone I should know?"

Maia knelt before the man and looked down at the ground. "Sir Auron, forgive me for breaking your rest, but I'm searching for my son. It's with a pained heart that I ask you to raise your sword again, and to be our guardian."

"May I see your face?" Auron asked.

Maia looked up. "Huh?"

Auron's expression changed from scrutiny to slight disappointment. "You're not who I thought you were."

"Hey!" Gordon said. "Is that any way to talk to the lady who's given you a new chance at life?"

Auron looked taken aback. "…Sora?! You…you've…have twenty years passed since we last met?!"

"Sora?" Gordon said. "That's my son."

"Oh," Auron said. "My mistake. You just look like so much like him."

"Yeah," Gordon said. "I get that a lot." He took the flask from Maia and handed it to Auron. "I think this belongs to you…"

XXX

Mickey, Sora, Riku, Donald, Goofy, Clio, Erato, Terpsichore, Polyhymnia, Euterpe, and Urania stood before a large cave.

Sora poked at the opening and met an invisible wall. "Guess this is the seal?"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," Donald said. "Just open the stupid thing!"

Sora, Mickey, and Riku raised their Keyblades. Three beams of light flew forward and hit the invisible wall.

Sora poked at the opening again. This time, he met no resistance.

"Wait," Riku said. "There's something suspicious here…"

"**The Nobody signature," **Roxas said.

"What's that?" Goofy asked.

"**An energy pattern emitted by Nobodies. The stronger the Nobody, the stronger the signature. This one's really powerful." **

"Humanoid?" Sora suggested.

"**Definitely. Euterpe, didn't you say I was the last? Besides Naminé?" **

Euterpe shrugged. "Do you realize how many worlds there are? We couldn't keep track of every single humanoid Nobody that formed. And I guess even Xemnas missed this one."

"Maybe we should split up," Mickey suggested. "Riku and I will wait with the ladies here and guard the entrance. Sora, Donald, Goofy, you can scout the cave and see if you can find this humanoid Nobody."

Euterpe handed Sora, Donald, and Goofy transmitters. "Calliope gave us these in case of an emergency. If you run into trouble, call us. We'll come running."

"Sounds good to me," Sora said.

"No objections here," Riku said with a smirk.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy ventured into the cave. After a few minutes of passing through a bare tunnel, the atmosphere changed. There were rugs on the ground, paintings on the walls. Most of the paintings depicted a young woman. One was signed "My best, Rosa." Lining the walls were a couple of skulls on pikes.

"This is spooky," Donald said.

"Hades needs to take some tips on interior decorating from this guy," said Sora. "It feels dead without being overbearing."

The tunnel ended in a large living room. There was an armchair facing away from the entrance.

"Those skulls should give you a clue as to what happened to the last door-to-door salesmen who disturbed me," a voice came from the armchair.

"We're not salesmen!" squawked Donald.

"Don't tell me you're looking for converts. I'm atheist, so buzz off." The owner of the voice rose from the armchair – a tall, well-built man clad in heavy black armor.

"Uh, we're looking for the sorcerer?" Sora asked. "Mr…"

"Highwind. Kain Highwind. I'm a retired knight. The sorcerer you're looking for's been dead for over a hundred years. He was only bones when I moved in."

"Are you by any chance related to Cid Highwind?" Sora asked.

"Who?" Kain asked. "I knew _a_ Cid once, but I don't know any _Cid Highwind._"

**Sora. Let me talk to him. Please. **

_Okay, _Sora thought.

Sora's expression changed to deep scrutiny. **"I sense the Nobody signature emanating from you." **

Kain looked surprised. "I can faintly detect it in you, Spike. And why is your voice different all of a sudden?"

**"My name is Roxas. I'm kind of stuck in my dork-of-an-Other, Sora."**

"Hey!" Sora said.

Kain burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" Donald demanded.

"So Xemnas was fooled?" Kain said. "I guess the seal worked. How's the old coot anyway?"

"Xemnas?!" Sora asked. "How do you know about him?"

"I used to be Number Nine of the Organization."

**"But then…what about Demyx?" **Roxas asked.

"He was my replacement, I guess. I served them under the name Kinax. But it failed to keep my interest. So I faked my death. It was easy, since Nobodies don't leave corpses. All I had to do was leave a note, and they were convinced. I sealed myself into this cave to keep the rest of the Nobodies from catching my signature. They didn't mention me?"

**"Not really." **

"Pity. Xaldin always controlled the Dragoon Nobodies, but it was my idea to call them that. I taught him some of his spear techniques, too."

**"Xaldin's dead. They're all dead." **

Kain shrugged. "Can't say I'm surprised. Nobodies can hold a lot more power than normal humans, but they lose their sense of perspective. I suppose you'll say there's only room for one of us. Am I right?"

**"And if I did?" **

"Then you deal with me." Kain pulled out an ornate spear.

"Uh, can I ask you something, Kain?" Sora asked.

"What is it?" Kain asked impatiently.

"Uh, why are you living in this backwater cave? If you're such a big, powerful ex-Organization Nobody, why don't you try taking over the world?"

"Sora!" Donald snapped. "Don't give him any ideas."

Sora shrugged. "I was just trying to justify us breaking into his home and killing him. If he were trying to take over the world…"

"I'm not!" Kain replied. "I'll leave that to the religious nuts and the Republicans, thank you very much."

"**Euterpe said I was the last of Organization XIII.**"

"You are, technically. I severed all ties with the Organization, dropped my ersatz assumed name…" Kain gestured to his black armor. "I'm not wearing the cloak."

"**You said it failed to keep your interest. But why would you lose interest in regaining your heart?" **

"Do you remember our Superior?" Kain asked. "Everything we thought, did, and said was in the daily memos he gave us. He was a control freak. I can't live like that, with someone telling me what to do. I'd much rather have my free will than my heart."

A ghostly image of Roxas materialized outside of Sora. **"Kain, please step aside. We need that research." **

"I just told you I don't care for people telling me what to do," Kain said. "You'll only search the rest of this cave over my dead body. Well…if I could leave a dead body."

"**Kain, listen to me." **Roxas begged. **"If I fight you, I'll kill you. I…I helped kill most of the rest of them. I was in Sora. I've killed a lot of people, both human and Heartless." **

"I'm getting up there in years," Kain said. "I'm forty-six. That's ancient by video-game standards. I don't fear death."

"**You won't just die!" **Roxas cried. **"You'll be obliterated. Your entire being will evaporate! You won't be reincarnated. You'll just be…gone. For all time." **

"It's true," Sora said. "One of the goddesses of death said so."

"We'll leave everything else alone," Goofy suggested. "We just need to get anything that sorcerer left."

"Just because you three…or four…are heroes doesn't give you the right to order me around!" Kain snapped. He raised his spear. "I must warn you, as a humanoid Nobody, I've still got considerable strength."

"**Kain, please…" **Roxas said. **"Don't…don't…" **His voice echoed through the cave. **"Don't make me a murderer!" **

"It's a little too late for you and me, isn't it, Roxas?" Kain asked. "Come. Show me your strength. Show me you have the power to carry the legacy of all us Nobodies."

The image of Roxas fell back into Sora, who drew his Keyblade. Donald raised his staff, while Goofy readied his shield.

"Why?" Sora asked. "Why are you fighting me in the face of total annihilation? Roxas told you straight-faced what's going to happen if you fight. I'll gladly spare you if you just give us what we want."

"Extinction," Kain replied. "Is no bad thing."

To Be Continued


	6. Epic Poem to Sacred Death

"Can't we compromise here?" Goofy asked.

Kain rolled his eyes. "Either get off my property, or fight me."

"But I don't want to kick your butt," Sora said.

"Well, unlike Mr. Hyde," Kain began. "I can never be normal. This body is eventually going to wear out, and I'll dissolve. Waiting for it is so boring. I'd much rather go out with a bang. You can't disregard my dying wishes, can you?"

"You're not dying," Donald argued.

"Au contraire. I've been dying since becoming a Nobody."

"The worlds are back," Sora said. "You can go home."

Kain snorted. "I don't want to."

"**But…"** Roxas began.

Donald folded his arms. "He's not gonna listen to you, Roxas."

"**Then I'll make him listen." **

"Didn't every Organization member have some sort of element they were associated with?" Donald asked, considering which element of spell to cast.

"Yeah," Sora said. "What was yours, Kain?"

Kain smirked. "Quintessence, of course."

"Queen Tess Since?" Goofy asked. "What's that?"

"The fifth element, idiot!" Donald snapped. "Celestial bodies!"

"Allow me to demonstrate." Kain levitated himself and raised his left hand. "Meteors, come!" Several fiery meteors, about the size of softballs, crashed through the roof. Sora, Donald, and Goofy ran around, trying to avoid them.

Donald's tail caught fire and he ran around screaming, before finding Kain's cup of iced tea and pouring it on himself. "These Square villains have got to come up with a new shtick. Meteors are sooo passé."

"Sephiroth could do better," Sora agreed.

Kain snorted derisively. "Since when did Sephiroth become the biggest badass…"

"A-hem!" Donald interrupted. "Disney characters present!"

"Rad dude." Kain amended. "I was cool and popular long before that poser showed up."

"Blizzard!" Donald cast an ice spell at Kain, who predictably blocked the incoming ice crystals with his spear. Unfortunately, his spear became coated with ice…

Just as Sora swung his Keyblade at it. The shaft of the spear shattered.

Kain looked at the broken spear. "They just don't make these like they used to." He jumped and hung in the air once again. Sora and Donald prepared Reflega spells in anticipation of another meteor onslaught. However, Kain was gathering something and molding it into the shape of a spear – dark matter, to be precise. He gripped the new spear, and allowed himself to drop spear-first.

Goofy jumped up, shield over his head. Kain's spear hit the shield with a loud clang. The impact caused the impromptu spear to shatter, Goofy's shield to dent slightly, and Kain to fall unceremoniously to the ground. Kain jumped to his feet, only to be hit by a flurry of blows with Sora's Keyblade. He responded by ducking and performing a sweeping kick, followed by a body-slam. Kain outweighed Sora by at least fifty pounds, and thus Sora was knocked back several feet.

Kain quickly levitated himself again. "No mercy for the damned…thou cannot escape the grasp of catastrophe! Meteor!"

More meteors, several larger than the ones before, demolished the roof entirely and sent up large clouds of dust. Sora swung his Keyblade upward to knock a meteor away, and it flew up in a perfect parabola.

It hit the ground near Kain and shattered. Sharp, angular pieces struck Kain all over his body, easily slicing through his armor. One tore through the wings on his helmet, barely missing his skull. Blood splattered on the ground. He was mortally wounded, as black wisps were beginning to drift from his body.

"You have the ultimate power." Kain said calmly, pulling out a shard that had impaled his chest. An even stronger stream of blood flowed out of the wound. "But what will you do with it?"

"**No…" **Roxas said. **"Why didn't you listen to me?" **

"Why are you mourning me?" Kain asked.

"Why else?" Sora asked. "You're dying."

Kain shrugged. "But you don't know me."

"I want to save you," Sora said.

"Save? And how do you suppose I might be saved? You can't save everyone. If you try, you'll just burn out. Death isn't such a bad thing. I'd have thought it'd be more painful than this."

Donald cast a Curaga spell on Kain. There were fewer wisps parting from the body, and they were moving slower.

"**Wait…" **Roxas said. "**Donald, crystallize the air around Kain." **

"Why?" Donald asked.

"**Just do it." **

Donald shrugged. "Blizzaja!" Large snowflakes surrounded Kain and interlocked, then turned into a crystal of pure ice.

"How did you know what to do?" Sora asked.

"**Vexen used to use cure spells on dying nonhumanoid Nobodies to slow their fading, and then he'd freeze them. He'd thaw them out to study their cellular breakdown, in the hopes of finding a way to stop it altogether." **

"How are we going to stop him from thawing out?" Sora asked.

Donald picked up the cup he had used to extinguish his tail. "This had ice…and he said he didn't leave this cave. Maybe there's a freezer around here."

Goofy picked up the ice crystal. "Let's go see."

Sora, Donald, and Goofy wandered the tunnels of the cave until they found a small kitchen. A large ice box was in the corner.

Donald lifted the lid and began to take out blocks of ice. "We're in luck. This looks barely big enough to hold him."

Sora helped him. "We'll keep him here until we can get him to a cryogenics lab or something."

"Did you hear something?" Goofy asked once they had placed the Kain-sickle in the ice box and shut the lid.

"Like what?" Sora asked.

Goofy scratched his head. "I dunno…it kinda sounded like three little girls laughing."

"You're just hearing things," Donald said.

_Roxas, _Sora thought, aware of a gnawing feeling in his stomach. His eyes felt heavy, the way they always did when he was about to cry. _Are you okay in there? _

**What do you think, dumbass?! I'm not okay. **

"Excuse me for asking," Sora said. "But you're kind of making me depressed…"

"**I was just thinking of Vexen. And how he died before he finished his research." **

"Why are you sad about the Organization?" Donald asked. "They were a bunch of psychos!"

"**I know that…but they were still kind of my family. We were the most uncouth, violent, and dysfunctional 'family' to ever pseudo-exist, but there were times when we weren't in an existential crisis. I know it sounds weird, but I actually miss them." **

"Do Mom and Dad mean nothing to you?" Sora asked. "I told them about you because I knew they'd believe me. Anyone else would say I've got Multiple Personality Disorder. They love you, even if they've never seen you. Those Organization creeps used you."

"**I love Mom and Dad, too. And Naminé, of course. And it frightens me to consider that Hayner, Pence, and Olette almost died today. I just wish I had gotten to say goodbye to Axel."**

"Why didn't you talk to him?" Donald asked. "You talk to us like it's nothing."

"**I couldn't at the time. I tried to speak through Sora, but the words just wouldn't come out. Why didn't he tell me he'd be gone forever?" **

"I think he didn't want you to be upset," Goofy said.

"**I always wondered why he let me merge, but now I see. He wanted me to give up independent life in the short run for the sake of continued life in the long run. He must have thought I was so ungrateful. He was dying and I couldn't even say anything."**

"Aww, I think he knew how you felt," Goofy reassured.

"**Oh, really? Prove it." **

"Axel hated me." Sora said. "He kidnapped my girlfriend…"

"**Oh, he said a _ton _of bad things about you. Said you were a sickening little bubble-headed goody two-shoes who vomited sunshine. And a lot of other stuff that I can't repeat lest your sensitive ears bleed." **

"See?" Sora said. "But did he say any of that to me when he died? He wasn't talking to me there. He was talking directly to you. He knew that you were in here _somewhere _and that you'd hear him. Though you couldn't respond."

**I guess. **

Sora turned toward the door. "We still need to find the sorcerer's writings."

"Right," Donald said.

The trio walked back the way they came.

"I hear it again," Goofy said. "The voices I heard." He pointed toward a closed door. "From behind there."

"I hear them now. But something tells me Kain wasn't very fond of house guests, so who could possibly be here?" Donald asked.

Sora tested the knob. It was unlocked. "Well, here goes. One…"

"Two…" said Donald.

"Three!" Goofy finished, raising his shield.

Sora flung the door open, revealing a well-furnished study. Three pairs of eyes turned to look at them in surprise. Three very familiar pairs of eyes.

"Yuna, Rikku, and Paine?" Donald asked. "What on earth are you doing here?!"

"Uh…this is kind of awkward," Rikku said, looking embarrassed.

"We meet again," Yuna said, sounding happy. She was perched on a locked box. The lock had obviously been tampered with: it was broken and hanging on its hasp.

"How'd you three get in here?" Sora asked. "The cave was sealed until now."

"Dumb luck," Paine replied.

"Yes," Yuna added. "We were trying to find a way in. And then we heard you guys coming and hid. Then we followed you when you broke the seal. While you distracted Kain, we flew in here."

"And we found the sorcerer's writings!" Rikku squealed.

Yuna patted the box she was sitting on. "We can't read the writings yet. They're in code."

"Um, would it be possible for us to see them?" Sora asked.

Rikku shook her head. "We found them. They're ours. Finders keepers and all that."

"We're several times your size," Donald countered.

"But you won't fight us," Paine said.

"Cause then you'll be bullies!" Yuna said.

"They've got a point," Sora said. "We can't just take it from them."

"I thought you guys liked treasure," Goofy said. "What do you want with musty old writings?"

"Are you kidding?" Rikku asked. "Do you have any idea how much we can get on eBay for these?"

"So there's no way you'll let us have that research?" Sora asked, disappointed.

"We'd tell you what they say, if we could only read it," Yuna said.

"We searched the whole place," Paine explained. "There's no decoder."

"Would you be willing to trade?" Goofy asked.

"Sure, but it depends on what you have." Paine said.

Rikku zipped up to Sora. "Let's see." Before Sora could blink, she had pulled out Calliope's tiara. Rikku struggled just to hold it. "Wow. It's beautiful."

"That luster…it's twenty-two carats," Paine commented, flying over to help Rikku hold it.

"Look at that workmanship," Yuna marveled. She got off the box. "You can have the musty old papers. We'll take this."

"It's too big for you to wear!" Donald snapped.

"Remember? If you can't use it, sell it on eBay," Rikku said.

Sora blushed. "As tempting as it, I'm afraid I can't offer this for trade."

"Why not?" Yuna asked.

"What use can a hero possibly have for it?" Paine inquired.

"It belongs to a brave heroine," Sora explained. He hesitated to use the word _goddess _because he didn't know if these fairies believed in or even knew about Mnemosyne and her daughters. "She was trying to stop her crazy aunt. But she's been kidnapped. If I don't do something, she'll die."

"But that's…that's awful!" Rikku said.

"And you need these writings to help her?" Paine asked, unable to keep suspicion out of her voice.

"Yes," Sora said. "If I didn't, I'd just let you have them."

"Hmm…" Yuna mused. "I know! We can let you borrow them!"

Sora opened the box and took out the pile of parchment inside. He looked them over. They were indeed, unreadable, covered in strange symbols. "Donald, do you think you could read this?"

"Do I look like a cryptographer to you?" Donald asked sourly, glancing over Sora's shoulder.

Sora picked up the box and stuck the papers back inside. "Well, let's show these to the King."

XXX

"Let me get this straight," Auron said. "Sora is your son?"

"Yes," Maia said. "I'm trying to find him."

"Then I'll protect you to the best of my ability."

"You will?" Maia asked.

"I'm already in Sora's debt," Auron explained. "And seeing as you did free me from the Cesspool…"

"So how do you know Sora?" Kairi asked.

"Long story short, he helped me." Auron said.

"Umm…that doesn't really narrow things down," Kairi answered, wishing she had kept a copy of Jiminy's Journal for a reference.

"Are you always this…terse?" Gordon asked.

"Yes," Auron replied without missing a beat.

XXX

Sharon stared at her husband. "Lionel?"

"Yes, dear?" Lionel put down his magazine.

"Where's Riku?"

"Kairi Aquine stopped by earlier. She said Riku was going on a trip."

"Did you ask where he was going?"

"No."

"Did she say when he'd be back?"

"Not really."

"And you didn't ask?"

"He's sixteen years old."

"Which means it'll be two more years before I can legally throw him out and tell him to never come back," Sharon said. "You're a real piece of work, you know that? He's all your fault! I wanted to have a nice, sweet little girl but noooo. You just had to donate a Y chromosome. You know the truth? I always thought Jecht was cuter than you. And he actually produced a nice boy. Don't you know that last week, Riku keep hitting me until I passed out? And you just sat there, asleep. You didn't hear me screaming in pain! On top of that, I was late for work, and the boss yelled at me. Then he made me work a triple shift…without pay. You ought to consider being nice to me, because my job pays your doctor bills. And you should look at the last one. Maybe you should think of how hard I have to work next time you flatline…" Sharon laughed bitterly.

"Dr. Goldheart told me that it's getting harder to keep me alive at all."

Sharon yawned. "I'm going to bed." She cocked her head. "Are you hungry?"

"Now that you mention it, yes."

"Tough." Sharon walked up the stairs. "Cook your own dinner!"

XXX

Mickey took out his map of Radiant Garden. "The University is at the north end of the town."

Clio was studying the notes from the cave. "I think Urania and I can start work on translating these at the University library. So maybe we could go there while you talk to Dr. Maechen."

"I'm getting a bit tired," Terpsichore said. "And I feel a little sick from the Gummi Ship ride. Forgive me, but several of us are unaccustomed to long journeys."

"I think it would be best if my sisters and I stayed here tonight," Euterpe said. "While the Gummi Ship was landing, I erected a protective barrier around the city. It won't keep Calamity out, but it'll slow her down should she come."

"Isn't it selfish to endanger this world just so we can rest?" Polyhymnia asked. "The residents will die, and it'll be our fault."

"No, it'll be Calamity's fault," Euterpe said. "We're trying to help the people here. If they're ungrateful that they blame us…"

"We won't be able to fight if we're tired, right?" Erato asked. "Can you imagine playing an RPG without staying at an inn?"

"I think you're giving too much away," Urania said.

"I'll take Terpsichore to the Radiant Garden Grand Hotel," Euterpe said. "You can meet us there later." Without waiting for an answer, Euterpe turned and walked toward the hotel. Terpsichore shrugged and followed.

"You know, Your Majesty?" Sora asked. "Maybe Merlin and Leon can help."

"Good idea," Mickey said. "Why don't you take Donald and Goofy to see them?"

Sora, Donald, and Goofy saluted and left.

"I guess the rest of us will go to the University," Mickey said.

Sora, Donald, and Goofy walked through the streets of Radiant Garden, through the marketplace and around the corner toward Merlin's house.

Donald frowned. "Do you hear ominous organ music?"

Sora nodded. "It's coming from that way." They ducked into a nearby alley.

A large man, built like a linebacker, was standing at the end of the tunnel. He was clad in an orange suit. A black ascot was held in place with a shiny gold tie tack. His white hair was combed neatly, with his bangs gelled into a thunderbolt-shaped configuration. Bright green eyes peered above a pince-nez. "Hallo there!" The man said, in a voice that was as loud as his suit. "Have you gone swimming lately?" He laughed, a booming sound that seemed to shake the surrounding buildings.

"Huh?" Sora asked. "Who are you?"

"Right," the man said. "I haven't properly introduced myself yet. Name's Damon Gant, former Chief of Police of Courtland."

"Courtland?!" Donald said. "That's a long way from here."

Gant nodded. "I'm here to deliver a message from Amityville."

"You mean Calamity?" Goofy asked.

Gant laughed and clapped. "Oh, I could never insult Amity by calling her _Calamity. _It just makes her sound like a plague on the land."

"I thought she _was_ a plague on the land," Donald said.

"What does Calamity want?" Sora asked. "If she's asking me to surrender the other girls, forget it."

"Oh, no, nothing of the sort," Gant said. "It's a request that the ladies surrender themselves."

"And if they refuse?" Sora raised his Keyblade.

"Fine by me, but I'd hate to upset Amityville by reporting back to her empty-handed." Gant smiled serenely. "And put that big key down." He reached into his pockets and turned them inside out. "I'm unarmed. I'm sure your ethics frown upon you drawing a weapon on a helpless old man like me."

"What have you done to the others?" Donald asked.

Gant shrugged. "The three in custody are still alive. So, Key-kid, how do you feel about that?"

"Determined to rescue them," Sora replied. "And I'll strike you down if you get in my way."

"So you care about them?"

"What are you talking about?" Sora demanded. "I'm _supposed_ to protect innocent people. It kind of goes with the 'Savior of the Worlds' job description."

Gant laughed boisterously once again. "You really don't have any idea what you are, do you?"

"I know I'm the Keyblade Master, and that's all I need to know," Sora replied.

"Believe whatever you like," Gant said. "It matters nothing to me."

"Uh, Mr. Gant?" Goofy asked. "Why are you delivering messages for Calamity?"

"Yeah!" agreed Donald. "Were you really a Chief of Police?"

"Of course," Gant said. "Someday, we must all go swimming, and I'll tell you a very sad story called 'The Day Courtland Lost Its Sense of Humor.'" He poked at his bangs. "I mean, kill two people and suddenly you're a social pariah. I was stripped of my title, thrown in prison, and sentenced to death. Then my angel Amity came to my rescue and promoted me to head of her secret police."

Sora looked disgusted. "Murder itself is unforgivable…but you were a police officer! People trusted you to uphold the law! The fact you betrayed them makes you all the more hateful!"

"Really, now?" Gant said. His jovial smile suddenly transmuted into a cold smirk. Even his voice sounded silkier, as if he had coated his tongue with oil. "Rather hypocritical of you, son. Considering the evil twin living in you has done far worse…"

"**If you've got something to say about me, say it to MY face, you bastard!" **

Sora's face flushed. "Roxas!"

"Tut, tut," Gant said. "Such language. But I'm sure the ladies have told you that the Keyblade radiates a distinct magic signature. As long as you accompany them, Calamity will be able to find them."

"Are you suggesting we abandon them?" Goofy asked.

"Amity won't be happy when I tell her," Gant answered. "And then she'll come after them herself."

"I'm not abandoning them," Sora said. "So Calamity can take it up with me." In truth, he was somewhat afraid of Calamity, seeing how psychotic she was on Yen Sid's viewing ball, but he was determined not to show his fear.

"I'm sure she will," Gant said. He clapped his hands once more and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Goofy stared at where he had been. "How the heck did he do that?"

"What a jerk," Sora said. "Threatening the girls and saying all that random stuff to confuse me."

"You know," Donald said. "The last time the bad guys made little remarks like that, there was actually some ground to it. Just an idea."

"Huh?" Sora asked. "When was that?"

**He's talking about me, you idiot! **Roxas had seemingly gotten over his sad phase and shifted to intense irritability.

XXX

At the University library, Clio took out a notebook and began to transcribe the notes. "This would go a lot faster if I had thought to bring my copy of _Crackin' Codes._"

"We were kind of in a hurry to get out of the castle," Urania said, plugging in her laptop. "I'm lucky that I managed to grab my computer."

A book fell into Clio's lap. She picked it up. _Crackin' Codes. _She looked up to see Yen Sid standing over her.

"You can keep it as long as you need it," Yen Sid said. "If she thought she had to, Calamity would have killed your sisters there. In antiquity, those who tried to fight Calamity died. The ones who pleaded for mercy survived. If she had killed them, your sisters' blood would be on my hands. You understand, don't you, Clio?"

"I can't believe this," Urania said, hands on her hips. "You gift-wrap our sisters for Calamity, and now you're helping us just to ease your conscience?! You make me sick!"

Clio looked miserable.

Yen Sid took Clio's hand in his. "I'm looking into something that can solve our problems with Calamity. I just need time to gather the necessary materials. If you could send me a copy of this translation, it would help me."

"I will." Clio replied.

"Just have faith in me. I'll bring your sisters back." Yen Sid vanished.

"Bastard," Urania commented.

Clio said nothing, just clutched the book to her chest.

XXX

"Where are we now?" Gordon asked, looking around.

"I'd say we're in some kind of sports stadium," Auron observed, looking at the players in color-coded uniforms and the spectators in the seats.

"It is time for the halftime show, and if they can keep us amused until the second half kickoff, we shall call it a smashing success. Right, Sam?" The announcer up in his booth sounded like he really didn't want to be there.

"Yes, indeedy, Dave," Dave's co-announcer sounded enthusiastic enough for both of them.

The football mascots, a bear and a tree, ran onto the field and began to dance.

Maia pointed toward the tree. "There's a lot of unnatural magic energy emanating from that tree."

The tree perked up, its branches curving upward. "I have a name! A rather dumb name, but a name nonetheless! I am the great Exdeath, the harbinger of death and destruction!"

"I've heard rumors of him. A tree in which evil demons were sealed that became sentient and destructive," Maia said. "But I thought he was destroyed long ago. We can't ignore this."

"What harm can a talking tree do?" Kairi asked.

"Shut your mouth!" Exdeath snapped. "You ever had your ass kicked by a tree before?"

"No," Auron said, drawing his sword. "And I don't intend to."

"Wait!" Gordon said. "Your sword won't be able to cut through that trunk. We're going to have to take another approach."

"What do you suggest?" Auron asked calmly.

"Basic high school biology," Gordon explained. "He might be a magic tree, but he's still a tree. And trees die if you cut off their nutrient supply."

"Then let's get to the root of this problem." Auron rushed forward and began to hack at Exdeath's roots.

Gordon unsheathed his weapon, a machete of the type used to cut tropical vegetation, and began to cut away Exdeath's foliage.

"And so it appears that the Stanford mascot is being attacked," Sam commented.

"Doesn't seem up Berkeley's alley, bunch of tree-hugging hippies that they are," Dave mumbled, covering his microphone with his hand.

"That nice realistic costume's being ruined," Sam said. "What a shame."

Maia took the opportunity to take out her summon gem. "He who seeks destruction shalt inevitably be destroyed. Chernabog, awaken!"

The sky went dark, and the stadium filled with purple vapor. The spectators in the stands fanned it away from themselves, confused. Mussorgsky's "Night on Bald Mountain"began to blast from the speakers.

A large hulking monster appeared in front of Maia. He had large bat-like wings and blazing yellow eyes. He let out a roar that shook the foundations of the stadium. The children in the audience began to cry and clutched at their parents.

Chernabog effortlessly tore a hole in Exdeath's trunk. Screaming, wraith-like demons emerged. They gravitated helplessly toward Chernabog, who simply clawed at them, turning them into wisps of harmless vapor.

"My plans!" Exdeath cried, his voice becoming fainter with every word. "My beautiful plan to disguise myself as Stanford's mascot and drain this world of its souls, so close to fruition…only to be defeated so fast!"

A few demons escaped from Exdeath and flew toward Kairi, who shrieked and swing her Keyblade at them. "Get away from me!" Upon contact with the Keyblade, they disintegrated.

Maia held up the gem. Chernabog faded into golden lights that gravitated toward the black gem and reentered it. The sky turned blue again.

Half the audience cheered and clapped, as well as the Berkeley team. The other half glowered. The Stanford team glared angrily, fists and teeth clenched.

"Dood…" said the Stanford quarterback. "You killed our mascot!"

"Your mascot is a tree?!" Kairi asked incredulously.

XXX

A priest was delivering his sermon. "They can infiltrate our very society! If there is a witch among you, you must not hesitate to destroy it…"

There was a flash of light, and suddenly Kairi, Gordon, Maia, and Auron appeared at the front of the church.

The audience gasped.

"See?" The priest continued. "The Devil has tested us by sending these witches! You must destroy them, before they stain the blessed ground of Puritan Town!"

Gordon gulped. "I think we came at a bad time."

Kairi groaned. "This must be Puritanland. No other world could be this idiotic."

The entire congregation rose to their feet. Women snatched up their children and fled for the exits. A few children stayed behind and stood on the pews. The men pulled out muskets, clubs, and knives.

Two brazen men charged forward with their knives. Auron calmly drew his sword and beheaded them both in one swipe.

"Strike them down!" The children screamed. "Burn them! Punish them! Kill them!"

"Maia, don't you think you should call Chernabog again?" Kairi asked nervously, considering if she should ask Naminé to project herself and open a portal.

"I'm not summoning a demon on children," Maia replied. "No matter how bratty they are. Just give me a minute to finish this teleportation spell…"

"There's no time!" Kairi cried, wishing her Keyblade looked slightly more threatening. Its flowers were pretty and colorful, but not very good for scaring pissed-off Puritans. _Naminé…? _

**Fat chance! I'm not coming out! **

Auron easily cut down another line of attackers. Gordon took a camera lens and used it to reflect sunlight into the gunmen's' eyes, ruining their aim. The bullets embedded in the walls or floor. Since they were single-shot muskets, the gunmen had to stop and reload. A few of them simply dropped their weapons and fled. Those who didn't were disarmed by Auron…literally.

The rest of the children decided to define the better part of valor and ran after their parents, leaving only the cowering priest in his pulpit.

Kairi whistled. "I stand corrected."

"Wings of providence, carry us to safety!" Maia finished. Golden light surrounded the party, and they vanished.

"What in heaven's name was that?" The priest asked no one in particular. "Eh, screw it. I'm gonna get drunk!"

XXX

"Of all the worlds, why Puritanland?" Kairi asked. "You nearly got us killed."

"How'd you know about it?" Maia asked.

"Just what Sora told me," Kairi replied. "He said that it's the one world he's never going to set foot in again. I can see why. And of course Donald lost his temper…"

"What happened?"

"They came to Puritanland to check for Heartless. When they were accused of being witches, well, Donald went crazy with Firaga spells. Burned the whole place to the ground. I'm surprised at how fast they rebuilt it."

Maia shook her head. "Honestly, whoever said 'People fear what they don't understand' must have lived there."

"Was it really necessary to kill them, Auron?" Gordon asked. "They were whacked-out, but was it really right to kill them in a _church_? It just screams 'bad karma.'"

"They wouldn't have listened to reason," Auron replied calmly. "You're just nervous because you're not used to fighting."

Gordon paled. "What…what makes you say that?"

Auron held up his left hand. It was rough and covered in calluses. "Look at the difference between my hands and yours. Your hands are unweathered. You're not accustomed to fighting, or hard labor."

"Fair observation. So I should leave the fighting to you, the professional bodyguard?"

"I didn't say that."

"So where are we now?" Kairi interrupted. She looked around. The ground was covered in black, rocky soil…where it was visible. There were piles of odd items scattered everywhere.

"I'm not sure," Maia said. "I've never seen this particular world before."

"Let's look around. Maybe we'll find a sign or something." Gordon examined some of the debris on the ground. "A Smurf TV tray?"

Since no one had any better ideas, the others followed suit.

"I found an Alf alarm clock."

"So _that's _where Shatner's old toupee went!"

"A slightly-damaged golf bag."

Kairi cooed over her latest find. "Some Beanie Babies new with tags. So cute!"

"A scorched sign that says 'Tchotchkes.'"

"A Dukes of Hazzard ash tray. How kitsch."

"A Pacman Fever lunchbox."

"A case of vintage tube socks."

"A Kleenex used by Elvis."

"Eww, Auron!" squealed Kairi. "That's just gross."

"Even celebrities get colds." Auron tossed the offensive article back on the ground.

"So basically we're in the world's weirdest trash pit?" Gordon suggested.

"It's the Stellar Graveyard, actually. Debris from the neighboring worlds accumulates here." A man was standing on the wreck of a Gummi Ship. He wore a leather jacket and expensive-looking dark pants. Shiny long purple hair spilled down his back. His most salient feature was a pair of dark wings that seemed to protrude from his back. He spoke in a thick French accent. "You're the most interesting thing to come here in a while."

"Who are you?" Kairi asked.

The man smiled. "Why, I am handsome, charming, and evil!" He smiled, revealing a pair of sharp fangs. "And you can call me Vyers, the Dark Adonis!"

"Is he the area boss?" Gordon asked.

"I doubt it," Auron said. "Looks more like a Mid-Boss to me."

Vyers' lips trembled and turned purple. "M-m-mid-Boss?! How dare you! Entering my world without express permission, and then insulting my honor! It is unforgivable! You mock this Mid-Boss at your own peril!"

"Wait…" Kairi said. "You just admitted to being a mid-boss."

"Even if I am a Mid-Boss, mademoiselle," Mid-Boss answered. "It is still rude to point it out, no?"

"Um, we're sorry to have offended you, sir," Maia said. "And we'll be on our way."

Suddenly, the ground began to shake. A chasm opened, spewing a column of fire. A figure leaped out of the opening, which closed after him. He was vaguely humanoid, blue-skinned, and clad in a black chiton. His hair was not hair at all: it was a blue fire that burned straight up. "Man, Auron, you're a hard person to find. And you're missing your weekly poker game with Rassler, Reks, and Leo. So who are your friends?" The 'man' waved to Maia, Gordon, and Kairi. "Hi, kids. Name's Hades, Lord of the Dead."

Auron's posture stiffened. "As I've said before, this is my story, and you're not part of it."

"You ought to rewrite your story, then," snapped Hades. "You're still my subject! Dead souls cannot leave the Underworld!"

"He's not dead anymore," argued Kairi. "We materialized him!"

"Really, babe?" replied Hades. "You ought to check your magic encyclopedia. Materialization doesn't confer independent life immediately. You might notice that he's not breathing on his own. Until that new body is capable of maintaining life, he's still considered 'dead'! Thus, he's mine."

"A soul is something no one else can possess," Maia said, fingering the summon gem in her pocket. "You only have domain over your Underworld. A soul called from there is no longer in your jurisdiction."

Hades smirked. "You seem to know a lot about soul transmigration. How, don't know, don't care. But this runaway soul is coming back with me, and I won't be shy about taking extras!"

Mid Boss jumped in front of Hades. "I cannot allow you to harass this lovely mademoiselle! I shall lend you my strength, my fair lady."

Hades flared orange. "Mind your own business!"

"Great," Kairi muttered. "Mid-Boss is helping us."

"This can only end in tears…" Gordon observed.

XXX

Things were looking equally grim at Radiant Garden University.

"So Dr. Maechen won't be back until tomorrow?" Mickey sighed, disappointed.

"I can schedule a 10:00 appointment tomorrow morning," replied the secretary.

"That's fine," Mickey said.

"You're a visiting king," Riku said. "You'd think you'd have a little more clout around here."

"Even kings have to wait for appointments," Mickey replied. "If I go to the Emergency Room at Disney General Hospital, I have to wait based on the severity of my complaint. I don't have a VIP pass to see the doctor."

"Couldn't you just threaten the triage nurse?" Riku said. "She'd let you see the doctor if you showed her your Keyblade. Or blasted her butt with Pearl."

"That's not fair to the people who really need immediate attention!" Mickey said. "Come on. Let's go rejoin Euterpe and Terpsichore at the hotel. I don't like leaving them unguarded."

"Riku…" Polyhymnia said as the group crossed the campus. "You were right. I am bad."

"When did I say you were bad?" Riku asked.

"At Disney Castle, don't you remember?" Polyhymnia replied. "Your exact words were 'Underneath that nun's habit, you really are a bad girl.' I thought about it on the way over, and you were right. I am bad. I shouldn't even be polluting the worlds. I ought to be ashamed that I'm even out here."

"I meant it as a joke," Riku said. "Because Erato said you had a pile of porn under your bed."

"Oh, no, I appreciate your honesty," Polyhymnia said.

"What is she talking about?" Mickey asked, confused.

"Her own existence terrifies her," said Erato. "So she takes everything the wrong way."

Mickey gasped. "This sort of thing happens often?"

"Oh, she has these moments at least once a week," Erato explained. "More if she's particularly stressed out."

"Because I was born out of carnal relations between our mother and a mortal," Polyhymnia snapped.

"So were all of us, Polyhymnia," Erato replied. "How come you don't think the rest of us are sinful?"

"Because my mortal father was evil," Polyhymnia said. "He was married, thus making me a bastard. Did you know that bastards were subhuman under old law? I'm less worthy to exist than my sisters."

Erato let out an exasperated sigh. "Just when I think you couldn't get any stupider, you change my mind."

Polyhymnia ignored the insult. "And then my father caused all these disgusting feelings."

"What feelings are those?" Mickey asked.

"Lust and desire. I can't control them. I'm evil and dirty…" She clutched herself. "I hate it. I was created out of sin, and it seems like I can't escape sin. I'd follow Sappho's lead and kill myself, but suicide's an even bigger sin. And then my soul would reconstitute in my mother's body. I'd be helping Calamity, and that's worse still. Perhaps when Calamity is destroyed, you can kill me with her."

"When this is over," Mickey said. "I want to talk to you about these _self-esteem _issues you have."

XXX

"Why, hello, lads," Merlin said. "What brings you here?"

"We're worried about Mnemosyne. She's been possessed," Sora explained.

"I've actually met the Memory Queen. In fact, several members of the Wizards' Society know her from…" Merlin stopped short. "Suffice to say, we know her."

"Oh," Sora said. "Do you know anything about Kore?"

"Beyond the stories, not really," Merlin said. "She was friends with Mnemosyne, but the Memory Goddess isn't one to spill secrets. What happened to Kore's soul is anybody's guess. I'm guessing she was sealed in something."

"Hmm. Maybe her daughters would know where she is now," Goofy suggested.

"Wouldn't they have told us already?" Donald countered. "I get the feeling they don't know."

"Keeps secrets from her own kids, huh?" Sora asks. "That's strange. I wouldn't dream of keeping something from my parents."

"There is something connected with Kore that can help," Merlin continued. "Ever notice how the Keyblade changes shape depending on what keychain is connected to it?"

"Yeah," Sora added, fingering the keyring on which he kept the Keychains not currently in use.

"And each Keychain gives the Keyblade slightly different abilities."

"Yes." Sora said.

"Well, Kore was able to kill Calamity using a special keychain on her Keyblade. With it, she could supposedly rend even the souls of the gods. It was called _Dainslef. _But it disappeared after she died. No one's seen it since."

"So where did it go?" Sora asked.

Merlin shrugged. "I don't know. There are only rumors."

"Well, where can we start?" Donald asked.

"You could try the Seraphic Gate, in the Tria system," Merlin suggested. "There are lots of powerful magic relics there. Even if it's not there, you'll find plenty of weapons and items to help you on your journey. There are extremely powerful monsters living there, but you can take them easily. By the way, Sora, my three friends want to talk to you alone."

"Me?" Sora asked.

"I believe you know Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather?" Merlin held his wand over himself. "Now if you'll excuse me, the Great Radiant Garden Smokeout is this week, and I have to make sure Cid's not cheating! Is there anything you need?"

"Not right now," Sora said.

"Come back if you should need anything. I'm happy to help…provided I'm not occupied with removing Cid's cancerous lungs." Merlin teleported away.

Three elderly fairies, in color-coded gowns and robes, came in. Upon seeing Sora, they smiled. Then their expressions changed to scrutiny.

"Uh, is something wrong?" Sora asked. "Is there something on my face?"

"Flora…" Fauna said. "The sheer amount of Divine Materialize Energy I'm sensing is unnatural."

Flora nodded. "Almost as if he's producing it on his own!"

"It's impossible," Merryweather said. "Divine Materialize Energy…the Princesses of Heart are the only mortals who can produce it naturally."

"What's Divine Materialize Energy?" Sora asked.

"Do you still have your Drive Orbs?" Flora asked.

"Sure," Sora said, producing the four crystals. The first he had received upon meeting Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather. The second had been conferred by Merlin upon sealing Timeless River. The third was a gift from Mickey just before the coup at Hollow Bastion. And the fourth he had found in his pocket after seeing Roxas for the first time in the World That Never Was.

"Remember we said your clothes had special powers?" Fauna asked. "These crystals activate those abilities."

"Yes," Sora said. "When they change color, I can run faster and jump higher…"

"Do you ever wonder why Donald and Goofy disappear when you do this?" Merryweather asked.

"Well…sort of…" Sora said.

"The crystals react with the magic infused in the clothes to channel Donald and Goofy's spirits into your body," Fauna explained. "You can borrow their power, but it's not permanent. It also is a drain on your system. If you hold onto your friends' spirits too long, it'll hurt you."

"And that's why you let go of them automatically," Merryweather added. "As the Divine Materialize Energy in each crystal is tempered, you can hold their spirits longer. And you can eventually use some of the derived powers in your normal state."

"We prepared this gift for you," Flora said, producing a white orb. It sparkled in the light like a diamond.

"Thank you," Sora said, taking the orb. "I'll put it to good use."

"Good luck," said Merryweather.

Sora nodded. "Same to you." He left the house to find Donald and Goofy outside, finishing bars of sea-salt ice cream. Sora's mouth watered. He remembered that he hadn't eaten anything since breakfast…eight hours ago.

Roxas shared his desire for the ice cream. **I want some! I want some! **

"We bought you a bar, but Donald ate it," Goofy said.

"It would have melted," Donald said quickly.

"I was gone for five minutes!" Sora snapped.

"That ice cream sells out real fast. We got the last three bars from the stand," Donald said.

**Donald, guess what? You just made Number Three on my "To Kill" list. **Roxas didn't seem to care that only Sora could hear his vow of vengeance.

Sora's stomach growled. "Let's go to the hotel. I don't fight well on an empty stomach. They have room service there, right?"

"Is Roxas plump?" Donald asked.

**Number Two. **

XXX

Calliope panted. She was lying flat on her back, strapped to a stone slab. The magic-absorbing chains held her wrists and ankles. Contrary to her polished, professional look earlier, she was a mess: sweat covered her forehead, her skirt and jacket were stained with dirt and blood, and her shoes and stockings had been removed.

Calamity stood over her, smirking.

Thalia and Melpomene were still chained to the wall. Melpomene kept her face turned downward. Thalia gave a hateful glare.

"Mother, if you can hear me," Calliope said. "I'm sorry. My power wasn't enough."

"She really can hear you," Calamity said. "Her pain and anguish is giving me energy. I don't even need sleep."

"So no chance of Mom reclaiming her body when you fall asleep?" Melpomene observed.

Calamity nodded. "Of course. Just felt like dashing your hopes."

"We're not giving up," Thalia retorted.

Calamity ignored the outburst and stroked Calliope's hair. "Ready for Round Two, my dear?"

"Leave her alone!" Thalia cried. "What has she ever done to you?"

"Is that a joke?" Calamity asked. "Because I'd like to hear the punchline. Your mother stuck me in her body with no regard for my feelings! Then a few hundred years later, she decides she wants to hear the pathetic…er, _pitter-patter _of little feet around the castle. So she had an affair with a mortal that I had no say in and got pregnant." Calamity moved to the wall. A variety of instruments had been hung on recently-installed hooks. Calamity selected a handheld stun gun and returned to Calliope's side. "The body was crowded enough without this little freeloader." Calamity pressed the gun to Calliope's neck and turned it on. Calliope cried out in pain.

Calamity pressed the gun to Calliope's shoulder and fired, making Calliope strain against her bonds. "This is for the morning sickness." Another shock, this time to the right hand. "And the backaches!"

"Stop it!" Thalia screamed.

Calliope stiffened as Calamity replaced the gun on the wall and took down what looked like a belt and a remote control.

"Then came the labor," Calamity snarled. "Do you have any idea how much childbirth hurts? Allow me to give you a taste." She clipped the belt around Calliope's wait. "This is a stun belt. Don't worry. The shock it administers won't kill you." Calamity pushed a button on the remote control.

For several minutes, Calliope thrashed and flailed on the slab, convulsing violently. Calamity alternated between watching her and glancing at her watch. Thalia sobbed loudly. Melpomene remained silent.

After what seemed like an eternity, Calamity shut off the electroshock belt.

Calliope gasped for air. Her chest felt like it had been set on fire, and her head hurt from when she struck it on the slab during her convulsions. The burning pain was slowly giving way to a sickly ache that was permeating her body. "Ugh…"

"That was twelve minutes," Calamity said. "The labor was twelve hours! When you finally popped out, I thought the misery would end. But Mnemosyne insisted on keeping the cradle in her room. I couldn't sleep because you cried every hour on the hour! And every time you cried, Mnemosyne would be up to feed you. And I had to listen to those sickening lullabies. And watching your mother play with you…ugh! It was so disgusting! Not a moment went by when I didn't wish I had been completely obliterated!"

"As you should have been," Thalia said hatefully.

Calamity turned to Thalia. "And Mnemosyne enjoyed playing Mommy so much that she wanted more kids. Euterpe, Clio, Urania – each worse than the last. And then you two. I thought things were bad when I had to share the body with one baby for nine months, but two? Double the pain. How can you be so heartless, Thalia?"

"Let Cally go," Thalia said. "Or I'll start singing."

"You have a beautiful voice," Calamity replied. "Why would singing bother me?"

"Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy…" Thalia began.

Calamity shook her head. "Highly inappropriate, given your sister's situation."

"Now I haven't got time for the pain…"

Calamity snorted derisively.

"Good day, sunshine…"

"First on my do-not-play list," Calamity commented.

"Looking for fun and feeling groovy…"

Calliope let out a barely audible giggle.

Calamity's hands curled into fists. "All right, Calliope. Your sister's starting to get on my nerves, and I'm feeling generous. I'll cut you a deal. I'll let Thalia replace you on the slab, and see if she feels like singing when I rip her tongue out. Or we could experiment on Melpomene and see if goddess twins really can feel each other's pain. Tears would look pretty with Melpomene's sad little eyes, wouldn't they? Or you could be noble and accept anything I want to do to you. So what will it be?"

"Do what you want to me," Calliope rasped out.

"Somehow, I knew you'd be altruistic," Calamity said. "But I expected _some _hesitation. You almost make Kore look selfish. Thalia, Melpomene, thank your sister. You'll certainly be grateful later."

"Why are you doing this yourself?" Melpomene asked. "I thought you hired professionals."

"I did," Calamity answered. "But they partied themselves to sleep." She laughed sheepishly. "I guess letting them have the stolen rum from Port Royal was a mistake."

XXX

Sora, Donald, and Goofy entered the hotel suite, where everyone else was waiting.

"Wow, nice room," Sora said. "Now if Donald's learned not to use up all the hot water since our last journey, I think I'll like it here…"

"Hey!" Donald snapped. "At least I don't take forever to fix my hair!"

"You don't have hair," Goofy said.

"**Donald, why do you not wear pants, but wear a towel around your waist when you exit the shower?" **Roxas asked**. "You didn't seem to care about modesty in Atlantica." **

"All three of us were naked in Atlantica!" retorted Donald.

Polyhymnia gasped and blushed. The other goddesses giggled. Mickey and Riku cracked up.

"I'm too hungry to argue." Donald grumbled and snatched up a nearby room-service menu. "What's to eat around here?"

"Please, order anything you'd like," Euterpe said. "We'll cover the cost of the hotel room and the room service. It's the least we can do."

XXX

Lionel gripped the pen in his hand and tried to press it to the paper. _All it takes is one little signature. _As usual, his hand was swollen and the act of holding the pen was an effort. He had considered getting a rubber stamp of his signature made, but that would be way too easy for his family to abuse.

The text on the paper was full of legal mumbo jumbo but it all boiled down to three letters: DNR. Do Not Resuscitate. Let dying men die.

_Why do sinister things always have to be abbreviated with three letters? MIA, CHF, DOA, IRS? _

XXX

Sora was vaguely aware he was dreaming. _Must have drifted off after that fourth turkey drumstick. _He was standing on a stained glass platform. The platform depicted a young red-haired woman kneeling on the ground, hands folded as if in prayer. She wore a long white dress and veil. An image of the Keyblade was opposite her, but the shape and attached Keychain were unfamiliar. He guessed it was the Dainslef.

A woman was standing in front of him, but her back was turned. It was the same woman depicted on the stained glass platform, as evidenced by the long white dress and the veil covering her red-gold hair.

"Kore?" Sora called hopefully.

The woman turned around. "You've finally called me by name." Her eyes, though a pretty shade of gray, looked worried. Her face was free of wrinkles, but it was clear she didn't smile very often. The cheeks were pale, with no color. Sora wondered how he could ever have mistaken her for Kairi.

"I always knew you were real. The same way I knew Santa Claus was real." Sora reached toward her. To his surprise, his hand went right through. "You're an illusion?"

"This isn't me, Sora. This is the only way I can reach you."

"Reach me…?"

"I'm dead, of course. I'm only a spirit."

"You were the voice."

"Hmm?"

"The voice who guided me in that dream. The dream that preceded the Keyblade. You were warning me."

"You didn't need much in the way of guidance. You learned everything on your own. All I did was give you that little push. I can't do anything else. I was only able to appear in your dreams because you remember me from your mother's bedtime stories. Had the Keyblade chosen anyone else…"

"Can't you fight with us?"

"I would, but I'm…stuck. Sorry. I really do despise being unable to do anything but watch from my vantage point."

"Where exactly is that?"

"Outside the Wheel of Time."

"That doesn't help."

"I'm closer than you think…" Kore smiled. When she did, she almost looked beautiful. Her eyes were brighter and cheerier. "The worlds are safe in your hands. Your power surpassed mine a long time ago."

Sora awoke with a start. "Closer than you think…?" He glanced around the hotel room. Everyone else was asleep. The sky outside was pitch black. Even Roxas was silent, which was rare. "What does that mean?"

To Be Continued

Author's Notes: As excited as I was about writing an epic fight scene between Chernabog and Exdeath…well, Chernabog is Chernabog and Exdeath is a tree. Who would do you think is going to win?

Donald's tail getting set on fire was totally inspired by "Donald's Tail En Fuego."

Sora's not too shy about being naked in Atlantica. He at least had fur in the Pride Lands.


	7. The Crumbling Id

"If there's anything I hate," Hades said. " It's arrogant mortals. Especially goody-goody arrogant mortals."

"I find that hard to believe," Auron replied. "Who'd have thought arrogance would ever offend you!"

Maia raised her left arm. "Icicle Edge." Three icicles materialized above Hades and fell like stalactites.

Hades winced in pain.

"I actually injured him," Maia said. "My full strength is returning."

Auron ran forward and slashed at Hades. While Hades fended off several sword blows, Mid-Boss swung around Hades and landed three solid punches.

"It was stupid of you to come here," Auron said. "You've lost your home advantage."

"I'm still strong enough to take you punks," Hades snapped.

"Absolute Zero," Maia said. Thousands of icicles flew at Hades from all directions. A giant pile of snow fell on Hades with a sound that could be best approximated as 'glop!'.

Hades flared bright red, instantly melting all the snow and turning it to steam. "Run, run, or you'll be well-done!" He pitched several fireballs in succession. Auron, Maia, Kairi, and Gordon ducked to avoid them.

The onslaught didn't seem to faze Mid-Boss, who held an enormous, glowing sphere of energy. "Overlord's Wrath!" He tossed it at Hades, creating a large flash that consumed all the debris within a ten foot radius.

"That...hurt!" Hades said. "How can you possibly have such power! You're just a shade! Your power cannot possibly be so vast!"

"Will you leave?" Mid-Boss asked.

Hades glared. "Enjoy your restbit while it lasts, kiddies!" He vanished, leaving only a puff of smoke.

"So it did end in tears," Kairi said.

"Except they were Hades'," Gordon observed. "I didn't expect that."

"Forgive me," Maia said. "I didn't recognize you, Krichevskoy."

"Nor did I recognize you, Lady Valkyrie," Mid-Boss said, bowing.

"So you're dead like Auron?" Kairi asked.

"He's a shade." Maia said. "A soul that remains on the material plane after death. Unlike the latent dead, shades retain material bodies."

"What Hades said was true," Mid-Boss explained. "I lost my power, when I sealed the Lord of Terror."

"Whom?" Gordon asked.

"Baal," Maia explained. "The ancient tyrant."

"But you just kicked Hades butt!" Kairi observed.

Mid-Boss nodded. "A kind mouse king defeated Baal and restored my power. But he couldn't restore my life. Why are you in this mortal guise, Lady Sappho? Are you living among humans to better understand their problems?"

"No," Maia answered. "I took my own life."

Mid-Boss looked surprised. "Why would you do something like that?"

"I'd rather not talk about it. Suffice to say, my mother reincarnated me as a human to punish me."

"I think you're wrong. I think she revived you because she loves you."

Maia shook her head. " I doubt that. My mother hates me."

"So how do you two know each other?" Kairi inquired

"It was a long time ago," Maia said. "Krichevskoy and his wife Vespera came to the castle to bargain for the life of their son. I was the only valkyrie there. Their son was too sick. I couldn't heal him. I was too young and too weak. There was only one way to keep him alive. The ritual of Life Transfer. Except someone who loved him would have to die in his place. Vespera immediately agreed to it. That unselfish act made me realize what it means to truly love someone. From that moment on, I resolved to live as she did."

"Why didn't Mid-Boss volunteer to save Vespera?" Kairi asked. "Then both his wife and kid would be alive."

"It's not that simple," Maia explained. "One who has acted as a sacrifice for Life Transfer cannot be saved through the same means."

"Oh," Kairi said. "I feel kind of bad for ol' Mid-Boss."

"Stop calling me that!" Mid-Boss snapped.

"So where's your son now?" Gordon asked.

Mid-Boss beamed proudly. "Running the Netherworld. Regular chip off the old block."

"Why don't you come with us?" Gordon asked. "Always room for one more. And Maia could give you life again."

"Someone has to stay here and keep watch over this world," Mid-Boss said. "And I'd rather reincarnate here. I'll get better stats. Unless I get too many felonies, then I'd be a cute little exploding penguin. Besides, your einherjar seems to be doing a good job protecting you, Lady Sappho."

"He's not my einherjar," Maia said quickly. "He's my guardian."

"One thing, though," Mid-Boss continued. "You escaped Hades unscathed, but I can hardly say the same for your sword."

Auron looked at his sword. The blade was chipped and pitted. "True."

Mid-Boss drew a sword even larger than Auron's original nodachi. Gold sigils covered the length of the blade. Red energy ran over the sword like electricity. "Take this to protect Lady Sappho."

"That's the Yoshitsuna," Maia said. "The legendary sword."

"Thanks," Auron mumbled, taking the sword.

"One last thing," Mid-Boss said. "Do you think Vespera and I will meet again?"

"I'm positive you will," Maia replied. "Farewell for now, Krichevskoy."

Kairi's stomach growled. "Say, I'm starving. Let's eat."

"Sora's walking right into a booby trap, and all you can think of is your stomach?" Maia asked.

"I'm hungry!" Kairi retorted. "I don't have a padding of fat like you! And I'm eating for two!"

"Naminé's part of your soul," Maia replied. "You're not pregnant with her."

Kairi glared. "You know what I mean!"

"Fine," Maia sighed. "We'll stop to eat."

"We should rest too," Gordon said. "You look a little tired, Maia."

"We don't have time..." Maia yawned. "All right. I'll fire up the teleportation spell."

XXX

Sora awoke to the smell of fresh eggs. "Mommy?" He rubbed his eyes and looked around. He blearily realized he wasn't in his bedroom at home.

Polyhymnia was standing over him, holding a plate of eggs sunny-side-up. "I'm an early riser. So I went to town and bought some food. I thought you might like try my cooking instead of ordering room service."

"You shouldn't have gone out alone!" Sora said.

"But I wanted to do something nice for you. You don't like eggs?

"No, it's not that."

"You look a little pale."

"I was just thinking of my first journey. We stayed at lots of inns. The beds were soft, and I slept well, but still..."

"What?" Polyhymnia asked.

"There was always a few disorienting minutes when I woke up and had no idea where I was. I'd feel sick to my stomach. But after a few minutes, I'd remember. I was on a quest and trying to go home."

"Homesickness? I know how it feels," Polyhymnia said.

"It was the worst in the Pride Lands. Donald and Goofy didn't want to sleep in the Gummi ship, so we had to rest in a cave. Even when the sun went down, it was hot and muggy. I'd sweat in my fur, and then I feel gross. And I could barely sleep nights, because I was afraid a bigger lion would come and try to eat me. Male lions are really territorial."

"Couldn't your friends have helped?" Polyhymnia asked.

"Goofy was a tortoise, and Donald was a secretary bird," Sora said. "They wouldn't have been much help. And Goofy's a heavy sleeper. And as I didn't have opposable thumbs, I had to hold my Keyblade in my mouth to fight. My teeth hurt for hours afterward."

Polyhymnia poured Sora a glass of orange juice. "Nobody ever said being a Keyblade Master would be easy, right?"

Sora took the plate and glass. "Yeah. That sums it up. I had a dream. I saw Kore."

"Kore? What happened?" Polyhymnia asked.

"She told me that she was trapped. And that she's 'closer than I think', whatever that means."

"Hmm," Polyhymnia mused. "My mother told us she put Kore's soul in a safe place. But she only told Calliope exactly where. And Calliope was sworn to secrecy on it."

"Why?" Sora asked.

"Safety measure. The fewer people know, the less likely the information will fall into the wrong hands."

"Calamity?"

"Yes. Of course, Calamity might know already."

Sora sighed. "That's not good."

XXX

"Radiant Garden," Kairi said, once the teleportation spell was complete. "My hometown."

"I need to get a staff," Maia said. "I figured this was the best place."

"Why?" Kairi asked.

"Absolute Zero is a Great Magic spell," Maia explained. "It takes a lot of power and concentration to perform Great Magic. Staves powerful to cast such spells are rare. And thus, expensive. We could kill some monsters outside of town, but at the rate they drop money, it'll take us hours to make enough. And we're already on borrowed time."

"So where are we going to get the money?" Kairi asked. "Rob a bank or something?"

"Not quite," Maia said. "Kairi, hold out your hands."

Kairi did so. White light flew from her fingers. The light danced briefly before moving to Maia's hands and hardening into a prism crystal. The crystal measured about ten inches across.

"I performed an extraction ritual," Maia explained. "This is Divine Materialize Energy, or DME. The Princesses of Heart produce it naturally. It can be extracted easily and noninvasively. DME is used as a spell ingredient, or crystallized to use in talismans. It's rare, though, since there are only seven Princesses of Heart in the universe. And once their reserves are exhausted, it takes a while for them to create more. My sisters and I can produce almost infinite DME, but it's nearly impossible to extract. Therefore, DME is extremely rare. Even small crystals are prized, and pricey."

"So how much is that worth?" Gordon asked.

"A crystal of this size and purity? This is beyond priceless." Maia moved toward a nearby moogle workshop. "I'm offering this to trade." She dropped it on the counter.

The moogles gathered around to gaze at the crystal. "Kupo! Kupo! Kupo!"

"Do you have a Great Magic staff?" Maia asked.

The lead moogle held up a glittering wand. "This here's the Holy Wand of Telos."

"I'll take it," Maia said. "The energy is yours."

"Yay, kupo!" The moogles promptly began to fight over the crystal.

"Thank you, Kairi," Maia said, testing the staff's weight in her hands. "With this staff, I'll be able to use powerful magic without putting too much of a strain on my body."

Kairi shrugged. "It was nothing."

XXX

Chappu wondered how he got in this mess. He had his hands above his head, while his father, Zenotto, pointed a rifle at him. Wakka and Lulu were behind Zenotto.

"W ho sent you to play this sick joke?" Zenotto asked.

"Dad, it's me," Chappu replied. "Why are you doing this?" He stepped forward. "Don't you recognize me? Bro? Lulu?"

"My son is dead! Now who are you?"

"How can I be dead when I'm standing right here?" Chappu asked, sounding confused. He stepped forward.

Zenotto fired. Lulu screamed.

Chappu looked down at his shirt. A bullet hole was on his torso, dripping blood onto his white shirt. "I didn't do anything wrong. What did I do to deserve this? That the world has moved on without me. My girlfriend is cheating on me with my brother and my father won let me in my own house. I'm starting to wish I had remained dead."

Wakka finally spoke. "Um, why isn't that wound gushing? It's a chest wound. But it's just dribbling a little."

"Who do we see about an exhumation order?" Lulu asked.

XXX

Auron, Maia, Kairi, and Gordon entered the Gold Saucer restaurant.

"Mind if I talk to Gordon in private?" Kairi asked the others.

"I'm okay with that," Gordon said.

Maia nodded. "Come on, Auron. Let's go find a table." They entered the dining area.

"There's something I'm curious about," Kairi said. "My mom said that Lionel beat you up in high school. But when I asked Sora and Riku about that, they didn't know anything. And when I ask my mom more about it, she won't give me any details."

"Your mother is just afraid."

"Of what?" Kairi asked. "So you and Riku's dad got into a fight. You're friends now, aren't you?"

"There's a reason your mother isn't giving you the whole story. It really makes Lionel look bad."

"How so?" Kairi demanded. "I'm curious."

"I'll tell you the full story. But you have to promise never to repeat it. Especially not to Sora and Riku."

"I promise," Kairi said. "So what happened? What was the fight about?"

"You have to keep in mind that Lionel Beechwood is nice now, but he wasn't always. In fact, he was a complete bastard in high school. But no one wants to bring it up because he's sick. When we were in high school, Lionel was the captain of the Blitzball team. Which, in the stupid high school hierarchy, made him King. And he was a tyrant."

"And what were you? Captain of the chess team?"

"Yearbook photographer."

"Makes sense. So what was the fight about?"

"Lionel thought that since he was King, he was entitled to any girl in the school. Most of the girls swooned over him. Except Maia. Lionel, being the egotistical jerk he was back then, couldn't understand why. Our senior year, there was a charity ball for research in autoimmune diseases. The day before the dance, Lionel stopped Maia in the hall. I hid in a locker and overheard the whole thing."

"You hid in a locker?" Kairi repeated.

"Yeah. I knew from personal experience that I could fit."

"Excuse me?"

"Lionel and Jecht made a habit of stuffing me in a locker."

Kairi rolled her eyes. "Figures. So what happened with Maia and Lionel?"

"_Would you give me the honor of going to the ball with me?" Lionel asked. _

"_No." Maia replied. _

"_That was not a request." _

"_Neither is this: leave me alone." _

"_Why are you being so cruel, Maia? I'm very interested in you." Lionel grabbed Maia's plaid skirt. "I'd like to know you better." _

_Maia stepped back. _

"_It's someone else, isn't it? Lionel said. "I'll leave now, so you can go home tonight and dream of your prince. Dream of him with my foot on his neck." _

Gordon shrugged. "I went home and made some candid shots I took of Lionel into slides, and I put them in my mini-projector."

"Blackmail photos?" Kairi asked.

"Yeah. Embarrassing shots of Lionel beating up the weaker element of the school. I even got one of him threatening his math teacher so he could get a passing grade. Cause if he were failing, he would have been kicked off the Blitzball team."

"So did you use them?" Kairi asked.

"I'm getting there!" Gordon replied. "Lionel left Maia alone for most of the evening. But near the end, he announced that he'd donate 500,000 munny to the charity, if Maia would share one dance with him."

"And what's so bad about one dance?" Kairi asked. "It's not like you were married yet."

"Let me finish. Maia simply said no."

_Maia folded her arms. "I've made a promise. A promise that must not be defiled."_

"_You really don care about those people, do you?" Lionel asked. "Those poor kids that are dying because their immune systems don't work. Yet, you come here to withhold your purse and mock them. You are one heartless bitch, Maia Atlus." _

"_Why don't you tell them where that money's coming from?" Gordon yelled out, standing behind Maia. _

_Lionel looked indignant. "I have no idea what you're talking about."_

_Gordon took out a handheld device and pushed a button. A projection of a photograph of Lionel shaking down a frightened classmate appeared on a nearby wall. Then another. And another. A picture of Lionel shoving a teacher against the wall. _

"_Beating up helpless kids?" Gordon asked. "Maybe you ought to look in the mirror if you want to see heartless." _

_Lionel let out an animalistic snarl and tackled Gordon. _

"He smashed my projector," Gordon recalled. "He punched me in the face, slammed my head against the floor, and kicked me in my stomach. I could hear his jock friends laughing. He broke the punch bowl and cut me with the shards. He broke my femur and gave me several facial fractures. Four of my ribs were broken, one of which punctured my lung and gave me one monster of a pneumo. I could barely stay conscious. I was suddenly flat on my stomach, and I felt a sudden pressure on my neck."

_Lionel's foot rested on Gordon's neck. _

_Maia gasped. _

"_Didn't I tell you, my dear?" Lionel asked. "Lately, I've been paying attention in Biology class. I'm putting pressure on C-2, the second cervical vertebrae. Underneath are nerves that control breathing. Nerves that pass through the rest of his body. Nerves that control his future. All I have to do is put more weight on my foot, and that future will vanish. Unless you drop this ridiculous hard to get game. It's rather chilly in here, and you look cold, Maia. Why don't you and I leave for someplace warmer?"_

"Did she do it?" Kairi asked.

"No. The security guard came and dragged Lionel off me. Then the paramedics came and took me to the hospital. Maia came with me. She refused to leave me. She wouldn't even leave to change out of her party dress, even though it was covered in blood."

Kairi thought for a few minutes. And for some reason, her temper flared. "How could you do that? How do you think Maia felt when you almost died? You hurt her a lot more than you helped. You challenged Lionel because of stupid macho pride. You couldn't stand him flirting with your girlfriend, so you made those slides to embarrass him in front of everyone. When Sora fought Riku, it wasn't to prove anything. It was to save Riku from himself. That's why Sora is a genuine hero, and you're just an ersatz one."

"I was just trying to get him to leave her alone. He only flirted with her because he wanted to claim he slept with every girl in our class."

Kairi snorted. "You were just jealous. It's a good thing Auron's dead."

"Huh? I don't follow you. What does Auron have to do with this?"

Kairi shrugged. "You don't feel inferior?"

"No. Why would I?"

"Name three things you've got that Auron doesn't."

"A heartbeat. A sense of humor. Oh, did I mention a _wife_?"

"But when it comes to fighting, Auron kicks your butt."

"Well, yeah, that's a given."

"We got a frosty reception in Puritanland. If Auron hadn't been there, we'd all be dead."

"I could have handled them."

"But you didn't want to kill them."

"Slaughtering them in a church was wrong. A church is holy ground, no matter how wacked or stupid the religion is. And nothing good ever comes from killing."

"So you would have let them burn us at the stake?"

"Of course not."

"Then what would you have done?"

"I don't know."

"They were fanatics. They couldn't be reasoned with. Maia needs someone decisive. Someone who can protect her from the crazies." Kairi said. "Someone with a military demeanor. Disciplined. Supremely confident, with courage and a good heart. Responsible, shrewd, and alert. Auron fits that description more than you."

"I'm not going to get jealous over El Stiffo."

"Even if Maia will rely on Auron on this quest, and not on you?"

"She can depend on me. She has for twenty-eight years, hasn't she?"

"You couldn't even protect her against a high school punk, much less angry Puritans, evil gods, and octopi. At the first sign of trouble, you curl into a ball."

"Are you implying that I'm a coward?"

"Well," Kairi said. "My good friend Cinderella says 'If the shoe fits, wear it.' Maia wouldn't even have had to call Auron to this plane if you had actually done something about Ultros."

"I didn't see you lift a finger."

"I drove him away!"

"Naminé did that, not you."

"Naminé's part of me!"

**Um, Kairi? Could you leave me out of this? I don't like arguing...** Naminé said timidly.

_Fine. I'll change the subject. _"Who is your favorite Greek hero?" Kairi asked.

"Odysseus," Gordon replied. "He was smart."

"Um, most people would say Hercules. Or Theseus! Agamemnon, even." Kairi sighed. "Thanks for proving my point. Go home, Gordon."

"If I go home, I'll drive myself crazy with worry."

"If you get your stupid self killed, Maia will die. If you go home, you'll be safe."

"Sora is my son. Don't you think I'd be concerned about him?"

"Yeah, it's so bizarre. He's a hero, and you're a...well, I'd say 'zero', but you're kind of lower than that. You're a negative number. If you were my dad, I'd be ashamed."

"Are you implying that Sora is ashamed of me?"

Kairi nodded. "He's too nice to say so, but yeah."

Gordon folded his arms. "You're wrong. I don't care if I can't wield a Keyblade, or kill monsters singlehandedly, or rule a country. I'm staying here doing what I can. It's far better than just going home and doing nothing."

XXX

At the Radiant Garden Grand, the rest of the party woke up.

"We finished translating the work," Urania said triumphantly. "I'll read it in a minute."

Clio took out a photograph. "Two of the pages were stuck together, and this was between them. Look." It was a black and white group shot. "'Me and my friends' was written on the back.' So I assume one of these is Myelinne, the author."

Mickey looked it over. "I recognize some of these people." He pointed to a young man on the end. "That's Master Yen Sid."

"Minus about a thousand years," Riku said.

"And that's Merlin on the left," Donald observed.

"I recognize Strago Magus and Vyramid," Clio said.

"We should ask Merlin about this," Mickey suggested.

Sora nodded. "Fair enough."

"Shall I begin?" Urania asked.

Everyone nodded.

Urania cleared her throat and began to read out loud:

"_Kingdom Hearts, the sum total of all hearts. _

_Seven princesses are needed to connect to it. They are essentially the doors to Kingdom Hearts:_

_The first, of light._

_The second, of purity._

_The third, of dawn._

_The fourth, of love._

_The fifth, of redemption._

_The sixth, of truth._

_The seventh, of life._

_The Keyblade is the Key to Kingdom Hearts. It is a mysterious thing. _

_Like a human, in that it reincarnates after death. If you consider each span of time with an individual wielder a "life." _

_Like a god, it lives forever. A Keyblade cannot be destroyed. _

_Like an undead, it is free from the constraints of time. _

_All hearts are tied. The heart is the seat of emotion and memory. _

_Mnemosyne is the memory of all who live. If you visit her castle, Oblivion, you shall be granted any wish you desire, provided your wish comes straight from the heart. Mnemosyne will not help selfish mortals._

_Mnemosyne's sister, Oblivia, represented the absence of memory. The Maiden of Light, Kore, killed her, wielding the Dainslef Keyblade. Unfortunately, only Oblivia's body was destroyed, not her soul. Mnemosyne took the soul of Oblivia into herself to nullify it. Apparently, Mnemosyne felt a little survivor's guilt over helping a mortal kill her sister. Which is why she named the castle after her. _

_The Keyblade has the power to tear apart even souls. Human souls, at any rate. It is far harder to kill a god than a human. What I don't understand is if the Dainslef can rend the souls of the gods, why wasn't Oblivia's soul destroyed along with her body? Perhaps even the Dainslef isn't enough power to purge Oblivia. _

_What if multiple Keyblades are needed? There are seven Princesses of Heart.. The number seven has great power. What if seven Keyblades, the Dainslef among them, are needed to fully destroy Oblivia soul? However, if that's the case, I despair. There are currently only two Keyblades in existence. Keyblades cannot just be created, and they continue to be a mystery. Mnemosyne attempted to create one. She failed at creating a Keyblade, but she did manage to make something similar to one. That weapon was entrusted to her most precious daughter."_

"And that's it," Urania said. "Any questions?"

"Who's Oblivia?" asked Goofy.

"Calamity," Terpsichore explained. "In antiquity, people feared Calamity so much that they refused to say her real name. They called her 'Calamity' because she brought calamities on them. The nickname stuck."

"We'll go see Dr. Maechen," Mickey said. "Then we'll swing by Merlin's house, stock up on supplies, then go to the Seraphic Gate."

XXX

"Lionel?"

"Yes, dear?"

Sharon sat on the couch next to her husband. "Remember when you beat up Gordon Pleiades?"

"Why bring that up?"

"Well, I wish I had dumped you that night. You showed your aggression. It no surprise your son is aggressive. So it kind of proves Riku is your fault. But in your defense, Maia Atlus was fun to torture. Still is, actually. Just whisper the word 'miscarriage' to her, and watch her eyes well up."

"That's horrible."

"Is it any worse than beating her boyfriend to a pulp in front of the whole school?"

"I should apologize to Maia before I die. Get on my knees and ask for forgiveness. It's probably too much to ask, but..."

"She doesn't know how good she's got it. Sora actually says 'please' and 'thank you.' Riku thanks me with a snide comment. If he's not in a bad mood. Then I get a punch in the nose. Maia's got a husband that jumps at her every whim. My husband just lies on the couch all day and watches SportsCenter."

Lionel winced. "Said right to your husband's face."

"I wish you had done it. Crushed those two little lovebirds. How dare Maia get a happy ending! And I have had it with you! The next time Riku hits me, I'm calling Social Services And honestly, when was the last time you said 'I love you'? Or kissed me? Or even contemplated kissing me?! If you really loved me, you would curl up and DIE ALREADY!" Sharon grabbed her purse and left the house, slamming the front door behind her.

XXX

Hades stormed through the halls of Castle Oblivion. "Calamity!"

Calamity appeared before him. "Temper, temper, Hades."

"Remember that soul that rebelled against me?"

"He was materialized," Calamity said.

"Yeah," Hades said. "You heard?"

Calamity pointed toward her viewing ball. "I saw. So, did you bring the einherjar?"

"Yes. He's in the lounge, awaiting your orders. Why did you want that particular one? I have plenty of stronger warriors who will gladly seek revenge on the brats who threw them in my Underworld."

Calamity smiled mysteriously. "You'll see soon enough. So, back to your Auron troubles. You know that woman you were fighting with? The one who cast the Great Magic spell? She's no ordinary mortal.

"Ordinary mortals can't use Great Magic without the aid of a staff or talisman. Or materialize, for that matter."

"That woman is Maia Pleiades, the mother of Sora."

"She was that little punk's mother?" Hades asked. "Guess annoyance runs in the family."

"That isn't all. She's the reincarnation of the deceased Sappho."

Hades looked astonished. "Sora is the son of the lost valkyrie?!"

"Yes."

"Does he know?"

Gant appeared behind Calamity. "Not a clue. But then brains don't seem to be that kid's strong suit."

Hades looked at Gant disdainfully. "Who are you?"

Calamity gasped. "Where are my manners? Hades, this is Damon Gant of Courtland. Damon, Hades."

Gant smirked. "I know. Ruler of the dead. I actually paid attention in theology class. So, deadhead, how do you feel about Sora now?"

Hades rolled his eyes. "First, never call me 'deadhead' unless you're in the mood for pain. Second, I'm a little relieved. I don't have to feel ashamed about being beaten up by that pipsqueak."

"You two are early for the meeting," Calamity said. "We were going to convene at 11:00 sharp."

"I didn't get to be Chief of Police by being late," Gant said.

Calamity laughed. "No, Damon. You got that by backstabbing and butt kissing."

"Well, I did those things on time," Gant replied.

"Don't worry about your runaway, Hades," Calamity said. "Once the others arrive, everything will fall into place."

To Be Continued


	8. To the Unhallowed Ground

"Are you Dr. Maechen?" Mickey asked. He, Sora, and their entourage had crowded into a small office filled with shelves of books. A desk piled high with papers was in the middle of the office.

The professor behind the desk, clad in a black mortar board and gown, nodded. "Yes. Master Yen Sid called me. He said you needed help with Calamity's soul." He held out a book to Mickey. "That book contains just the spell you need to remove Calamity's soul from Mnemosyne's body. However, you'll need to seal the soul into something once it's removed, or destroy it fast. Otherwise it'll wreak havoc."

Mickey nodded and took the book. "I understand."

"Keybearers, may I pose a question?" Maechen gestured to the six sisters. "Do you really think it prudent to ally yourself with these goddesses?"

"Yeah," Sora said. "They're against Calamity."

"Kore killed Calamity. She and Mnemosyne remained friends until her death. But Kore's death was under mysterious circumstances."

"Mysterious circumstances?" Sora repeated.

"Kore grew older, but she didn't age. She stayed as fresh and young as she was seventeen well into her seventies. She had a long bout of fighting, then went to visit Mnemosyne. That night, she went to bed. The next morning, she was dead. Mnemosyne immediately buried her, with no autopsy. I find that suspicious. Kore's most powerful keychain, Dainslef, vanished when she died and it has never been seen again. Dainslef means 'Godslayer.' Mnemosyne might have felt threatened by Kore. And thus killed her. And that, as they say, is that."

Euterpe swept her arm across Maechen's desk, knocking all his papers and office supplies to the floor. "Our mother is not a murderer! You take that back! You don't have evidence to back up your claims!"

Maechen adjusted his mortar board. "To be fair, I am a humanities professor. It was only a hypothesis, but if I'm wrong, I accept it. And I apologize for offending you."

Euterpe glared, indicating Maechen's apology was not accepted. "Since when is it okay to slander your betters? The idea that Mother killed Kore is a lie perpetuated by her enemies. Yes, our mother was the last person to see her alive. But Kore probably died from unnoticed injuries incurred during her previous battles. How long was that 'bout of fighting'?"

"Seven days straight," Maechen responded.

"How exhausted would you be if you fought monsters for a week without a break?"

"Very."

"How alert would you be?"

"Not very."

Euterpe snorted. "There you go. And even if Kore had been murdered, there is a far more viable suspect than Mother."

"Who?" Sora asked.

"Never you mind," Euterpe said coldly. "Let us go." She stomped out the office.

Mickey bowed to Maechen. "Thanks for your assistance. Please forgive Euterpe for that outburst." He turned and followed the rest of the party outside.

"Our mother considered Kore her dearest friend," Euterpe said as the group crossed the campus and headed toward Merlin's house. "She and Kore even made a blood covenant."

"What's a blood covenant? Sora asked.

"It is a solemn pledge between two people," Urania explained. "In the olden days, people actually cut themselves and pressed the wounds together to exchange their blood. You know, becoming blood brothers? Back before they knew about blood-borne disease. Kind of gross if you think about it."

"**The Organization contracts had to be signed in blood, which made them blood covenants. I always wondered why Xemnas insisted on that," **Roxas said.

"Isn't that obvious? Euterpe asked. "So you wouldn't betray him. Terrible misfortune falls on those who break blood covenants."

"So if Mnemosyne really had killed Kore, she would have been the recipient of some bad karma," Riku said. "Look at what happened to the Organization members who broke their oaths."

"**Let's see. Marluxia, dead. Larxene, dead. Kain, cryogenically frozen. Me, stuck in the biggest goody-goody alive..." **

"Axel, dead," Euterpe observed. "Play with fire, and you get burned. Guess he was just too stupid to realize that."

"**Up yours, Euterpe." **

Sora moaned. "Roxas, please..."

XXX

Back at the Gold Saucer, Kairi pushed away her plate. "Mm. So good."

"Don't look now," Auron gestured toward the door. "But that man over there is walking straight toward us. And he has a gun."

"Friend of yours?" Gordon asked Kairi.

Kairi shrugged. "Nope. Never seen him before."

The man stood right at the edge of the table. "My name is Cliff. Cliff of Leukos. I'm an assassin. I'm s'posed to assassinate some gal named Sappho. Here's her likeness." Cliff held up a piece of paper.

"That's a stick figure drawing," Kairi said.

"A-yup. I drew a picture of her since I dunno what she looks like," Cliff replied.

"Gordon, do you want to handle this?" Auron asked.

Gordon shrugged, got out of his seat, drew his machete, and brought it down on Cliff's belt. Cliff's pants fell down, revealing a pair of smiley-face boxers.

"This is rather embarrassing," Cliff shuffled away.

"Someone sprung for a bargain assassin," Kairi commented.

"Should I feel relieved or insulted?" Maia asked.

XXX

"Cliff of Leukos," Calamity commented. She was watching on her viewing ball. "Not an effective assassin, but good for a laugh. Cheap, too."

"Get what you pay for," agreed Snoops.

XXX

The party opened the door to Merlin's house. Squall Leonhart, better known as Leon, was seated by Cid's computer console. Yuffie sat nearby, filing her nails.

"Is Merlin here?" Sora asked.

"No," Leon replied. "Have you seen Cloud around?"

"No, I haven't," Sora said.

"You seem to be one of the few people who can get through to him."

"Is it Sephiroth?"

Leon nodded. "He keeps talking about Sephiroth. I found him in the alley last week. He was screaming and cursing and swinging his sword, but there was no one there. He wasn't drunk. No alcohol on his breath. I'm starting to think Sephiroth is all in his head."

"Oh, Sephiroth's real. I've got the bruises and cuts to prove it." Sora looked at Leon's shirt. Instead of his lion-shaped necklace, he wore a silver pendant shaped like a dragon. "Where's your lion charm?"

"I'm having it cleaned. I found this." Leon took off the necklace. "No one claimed it."

The pendant began to glitter. The rubies that served as the dragon's eyes glowed brightly.

Leon raised an eyebrow. "That's strange. It was completely dull when I picked it up. I guess it thinks it belongs with you. Keep it. Dragons aren't my thing anyway."

Sora took the charm. "Thanks, Leon."

"If you see Cloud, tell him to just get over Sephiroth already. I don't want him accidentally beheading anyone in my town, you hear?"

"Sure, Leon." _Probably won't use those exact words, though. _

The door flew open, revealing two small children. They were about the same age. The boy wore a t-shirt and jeans, with his black hair in a topknot. The girl wore a pink dress with a white ribbon in her hair. She carried a teddy bear.

"My sister has gone blind," the boy said. "The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with her. Can Merlin do something?"

"Merlin's not here right now," Yuffie said. "But we can leave a message. What are your names?"

"I'm Jun," the boy said. "And she's Ai."

Polyhymnia leaned down to Jun's height. "Are you twins?"

"Yes," Ai said quietly.

"I might be able to do something," Polyhymnia said. She took out a penlight from her purse. She shined it in Ai's eyes. "Pupils equal, round, reactive to light. That's strange." She turned to Jun. "Um, Jun, what color are your eyes?"

"Brown, ma'am." Jun replied. His eyes were silver.

A beautiful caduceus staff materialized in Polyhymnia's hand.

Donald gasped. "That's the Holy Wand Adventia. It's supposed to be just a myth."

Polyhymnia held the wand over Jun. "Kotoludi!"

Jun clutched his chest. "Ack!" A slimy snake-like creature emerged from Jun's body and landed on the floor, hissing and snarling.

Sora stood frozen. _It's just like The Monster! _

Leon quickly swung his Gunblade and sliced the monster in two. Black blood splattered on the floor.

"Do you see now?" Polyhymnia asked. "That thing was feeding on you. It wasn't your sister's eyes that were clouded. It was your soul. As twins, your souls are eternally bound and you influence each other's existence."

Jun gasped. His eyes were now dark brown. "I did this to her?"

"Are you okay, Ai?" Sora asked.

Ai nodded. "Yes. I'm fine. I can see now." She gave Polyhymnia a soft smile. "I'm glad I can see the one who saved my brother and cured me."

Yuffie stepped forward. "I'll take them home." Jun and Ai each took one of Yuffie's hands and she led them out of the house.

"Sora, why did you freeze?" Mickey asked.

"That thing looked just like a monster that attacked me years ago," Sora said. "Ever since then, I've checked under my bed every night."

"It was a Liston demon," Polyhymnia explained. "A rather weak but persistent species that preys on children. They were nearly eradicated about a hundred years ago, but they've been making a comeback in recent years. Perhaps they sensed their mistress' return."

"By the way, Polyhymnia." Donald said. "Your wand is capable of Great Magic, right?"

"Yes," Polyhymnia said.

"Could I borrow it?"

"Adventia?" Polyhymnia asked. "I'd lend it to you if I could, but..."

"But what?" Donald asked. "Gimme!" He reached for it, but Polyhymnia raised it above his head.

"It's a divine weapon," Polyhymnia explained. "You can't hold it. It'll punish you. I'm sorry."

Donald shrugged. "Worth a shot."

Euterpe folded her arms. "Polyhymnia, you know we're only supposed to intervene in mortals deaths. We're supposed to leave living mortals alone. That's the cosmic law."

"But those children were suffering," Polyhymnia said.

"Merlin or Aerith could easily have performed that exorcism," Euterpe snapped. "You have overstepped your bounds. And those who don't know their place invite more than death. They invite total annihilation."

"I really don't foresee any negative consequences arising from Poly performing that exorcism," Urania quickly interjected.

"Calliope might agree with you," Euterpe said. "But I have more regard for the cosmic order. Polyhymnia, I will report this lapse to Mother. And I will see to it that you receive the maximum punishment."

"Punishment?" Sora asked. "She didn't do anything wrong."

"She has sinned," Euterpe said. "Though she is my sister, I must be impartial and make sure all sinners are punished. Or did you not hear me when I said my catchphrase? 'All sinners will be judged, no exceptions'?"

**I seem to remember her saying something to that effect... **Roxas piped up.

"I appreciate your support, Sora, Polyhymnia said. "But she is right. I have sinned. I must be judged. I must repent."

"Euterpe," Sora said. "What amazes me is you could look at those two kids and just not care."

"Hmpf," Euterpe replied. "It's not my job to care. And you have no right to speak to me like that, mortal. I don't have to justify myself to anyone. Not to Calliope, and especially not to you."

"I think I speak for Sora and everyone else here when I say 'Screw you, Euterpe'," Erato said.

Euterpe slapped Erato across the face hard.

"Oww!" Erato rubbed her welted cheek.

"I've had it with your constant backtalk," Euterpe snapped. She looked toward everyone else. "Why are you all glaring at me?"

"How could you hit your own sister?" Mickey asked.

"I already said. But in case those big round ears aren't functioning, I'll say it again. I'm sick of her backtalk."

"That's not a good reason to hit her." Mickey retorted.

Euterpe sighed. "Erato never gives Calliope this kind of trouble. But since Calliope is not here, I forced to assume leadership. But..." Euterpe turned to Clio. "Had Clio gone to Twilight Tower instead of Calliope, we'd be just gravy. Isn't that right? Because Yen Sid would never have sucker-punched you."

"I think he would have." Clio kept her eyes down.

"I think not," Euterpe replied. "So if any of you want to criticize my leadership skills, direct them to Clio."

"You were blaming Yen Sid a chapter ago," Erato commented.

Euterpe clenched her fists. "Next time I see that third rate wizard, he's dead."

"Gawrsh," Goofy said. "Maybe you shouldn't be so angry all the time. It can't be good for your blood pressure."

Euterpe rolled her eyes. "Says the guy whose best friend is _Donald Duck_."

XXX

Calamity calmly strode into her meeting room. Six people, including Snoops, sat around a large table. One was vaguely humanoid, like Hades, with blue skin and greenish hair. Two of the guests were male humans. One had round glasses and the other was covered in clown makeup. The last was a scantily clad woman.

"All present and accounted for, Calamity," Mr. Snoops said, checking his notebook.

"Hades!" The blue man said.

"Loki!" Hades cried. "I haven't seen you in years!" They shook hands, emitting steam as they did so. "How have you been?"

"Oh, not much," Loki said. "Tried to bring about the apocalypse, but ended up making a fool of myself thanks to your goody-goody nephew."

"Well, Jerkules gets around. Hope he didn't cause you too much trouble." Hades sat in one of the empty seats. Gant took the remaining chair.

"Um, Calamity?" The woman said. "What is this child doing here?"

"Hey!" The kid snapped. He hopped up and down on his chair. "You will respect my authoritah!"

"Rest assured, Marjoly," Calamity said calmly. "Eric Cartman is one of us."

The man in heavy makeup snorted. "Not if he keeps hopping up and down like that. That's my endearing character trait."

"We know, Kefka," The man in round glasses said.

Kefka stuck out his tongue. "Stick a sock in it, Lezard."

Calamity raised her hand. "All of you, quiet. I have approached all of you individually, with the same message: scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours. If we combine all our talents, we'll be assured victory. With that, I proudly introduce the last members of our alliance: Hades, Lord of the Underworld; and Damon Gant, former Chief of Police of Courtland."

Everyone clapped.

Calamity sat at the head of the table. "At the moment, King Mickey, Sora, and Riku are seeking the Dainslef. The Godslayer Keyblade."

"Is it really a good idea to just leave it in the Seraphic Gate?" asked Marjoly.

"If I steal it," Calamity said. "They'll track it down. Why go to all that effort of hiding it somewhere else, or in my stronghold? I don't wish to engage them at this time. I haven't fully awakened yet. I should still be able to crush them, but they're extraordinarily lucky. Why take chances?"

"I see," Marjoly said.

"But," Calamity continued. "I'm dispatching a newly materialized soul Hades generously donated to slow them down. If they get past him, they'll have a new surprise. You just wait and see. And if they somehow manage to get past that, well, we shoot down their Gummi Ship and take the Keychain by force. Maybe even throw in a little hostage crisis while we're at it. Those goody-goodies will hand over the Dainslef Keychain if someone they love is threatened."

Everyone nodded.

Calamity pointed to a large portrait hanging on the wall. "This is Kore Noble: Keyblade wielder, murderess, and the original Miss Goody Two Shoes."

Marjoly sighed. "Man, I wish I was around long enough to hate her when she was alive. What a pro."

"A Keyblade master without peer," Hades added. "Though she might have one modern peer."

Loki agreed. "King Mickey."

Gant whistled. "She's good looking."

Everyone turned to stare at Gant.

"Gant-man's a pervert..." Cartman said.

Gant looked confused. "What?! She was seventy four when she died! She just looked young!"

Lezard sipped his tea. "I'm a one-woman man myself."

Now it was Kefka's turn to roll his eyes. "We know! You never shut up about her. You never shut up in general."

"Now I know Kore's soul still exists. With all her memory intact," Calamity explained. "Mnemosyne was too sentimental to let her reincarnate. But she sealed Kore somewhere."

The door opened. Two guards dragged in a shackled Calliope.

"Calliope, my seven deputies." Calamity said. "Now, they're curious as to where Kore's soul is. Would you mind enlightening them?"

"Never," Calliope replied. "My mother trusted me with that."

"You were going to tell the Keybearers, weren't you?" Calamity asked. "Is that upholding your mother's trust?"

Calliope glared. "Yes. Because it's protecting my mother from you."

Calamity grabbed Calliope's collar and brought her head down on the marble table. A gash opened on Calliope's forehead and bled slightly.

Marjoly sampled some of the blood. "You're still a virgin, dear? I need virgin blood. I've got a fairy locked up in my castle, but she can only produce ichor. And virgin ichor just isn't as good as virgin blood when it comes to preserving beauty. I need heme."

The cut healed and faded. Calliope sighed. "You already know, Calamity. Why ask me?"

Calamity signaled the two guards. "Take her back to the dungeon."

The guards grabbed Calliope and led her out of the meeting room.

Calamity rubbed her temples wearily. "Why is she so defiant? Am I not being intimidating enough?"

XXX

Meanwhile, Sora's party had stocked up on potions and ethers, and taken King Mickey's Gummi Ship to the Seraphic Gate. They approached the entrance.

A tall, regal figure floated about a foot off the ground, clad in floor-length red and white robes. He had short blonde hair. His skin was tan, and gave off a golden glow. A pair of silver wings protruded from his back. An emblem of three interlocked triangles was tattooed on his forehead. A slender jeweled staff was in his hand. "Visitors from another world. We've had a lot of powerful people stopping by these past ten years."

"Are you an angel?" Sora asked.

"My name is Gabriel Celeste. I reside here in the Seraphic Gate, amongst the pasts and futures of countless universes."

"Mr. Celeste, do you know anything about Dainslef?" Mickey asked. "Is it here?"

"Yes," Gabriel said. "But it is on the bottom floor."

Riku sighed. "Should have known it wasn't going to be easy."

"Is it ever?" Erato asked.

"Show me your power," Gabriel said. "If you are good enough, I will aid you in your quest."

Euterpe sniffed. "A god has no need for the help of an angel!"

"A god?" Gabriel repeated. "The universe is full of gods. Who needs more?"

Sora drew his Keyblade. "Ladies, stand back."

Euterpe sniffed and took out a giant, ornate spear. "We are not helpless little girls."

Terpsichore agreed. "These toe shoes aren't just for show."

Polyhymnia took out her wand. "I believe in our strength."

Clio pulled out a silver bow. "We'll all help."

Urania held a glowing white orb. "Our Divine Weapons may not have the world-changing power of the Keyblades, but they're strong enough to deal with the likes of this punk."

Erato drew a beautiful golden pistol.

"Ready, guys?" Mickey asked, whipping out his Keyblade.

"You bet, Your Majesty!" Donald readied his staff.

"Let's go!" Goofy said, holding his shield in front of him.

Clio and Erato fired their weapons.

Gabriel promptly cast Reflega to avoid the onslaught of arrows and bullets.

"Dispel!" Polyhymnia cried. Gabriel's Reflega barrier faded.

Terpsichore danced in place. "Dance of Bravery!"

Euterpe held her spear in the air. "Magic Resist!"

Urania raised her orb. "Sap Guard!" Gabriel would have noticed an decrease in his defenses, had he not been occupied with the other fighters.

Mickey jumped and struck Gabriel with a brutal flurry of attacks from his Keyblade.

Gabriel raised his staff and knocked Mickey back. Riku swung his Keyblade from behind and landed a few strikes.

Donald held his own staff in the air. "Oh, blackness without beginning, nor end. Oh, brilliance that outshines the very heavens. Come together and we shall walk this path of destruction together! Ultima!" The spell struck Gabriel, interrupting whatever spell he had been in the middle of casting.

Goofy tossed his shield, which bounced off Gabriel several times. "Major drive."

Sora swung his Keyblade in a vicious multi-hit attack that Gabriel could not shield himself from. "Break!"

All three raised their weapons. "Trinity Limit!" Gabriel helplessly floated in the air, consumed by a blinding blaze of light.

"Very..." Gabriel sank to the ground. "Impressive. Take this." He tossed his staff, which landed at Sora's feet.

Sora picked it up. "What's this staff? It's brimming with power."

"It is the Wand of Apocalypse. A staff of wonder and ruin. With that, you will always have my strength beside you. Let me give one word of advice. Beware that woman. She will show you no mercy. Farewell." A column of light surrounded Gabriel, and he vanished.

"That woman?" Sora asked.

Donald eyed the staff. "Could I see that?"

Sora handed it over. "Sure. You can keep it."

Donald cheered happily. "Great Magic! I finally have a Great Magic staff! His Majesty was too cheap to let me have one at home"

Mickey groaned. "Donald, we've been over this. Those staves cost more than Morty and Ferdie's college tuition!"

"What's Great Magic?" Sora asked.

"It's a whole new level of offensive magic," Donald explained. You know how there are basic elemental spells: Fire, Blizzard, Thunder, and so on? Great Magic spells are like enhanced versions of those spells. Allow me to demonstrate. Shining Bolt!" The tip of the staff started to crackle and give off a bright yellow light. Donald pointed it toward a nearby pillar. A large beam of electricity shot from the staff and struck the pillar, instantly disintegrating it. Donald tossed his head back and cackled. "Power! Power! POWER!"

Riku gaped at the pile of rubble. "I think it'd be best if we never piss Donald off again."

XXX

"Hey, Lionel."

Lionel looked up to see his best friend, Jecht. "Hi. What's up?"

"Just came to see how you were doing. Is that a crime?"

"No. I'm happy for your company. Sharon's mad at me again. She says that our vows included 'love, honor, and cherish.' To slave while I do nothing was not part of the bargain."

"Watch your back, Lionel. Mrs. Aquine at the pharmacy says Sharon tried to get far more pain medication than the prescription allowed."

"I don't think she'll try to hurt me."

"I don't know." Jecht sighed.

"Want a beer, Jecht?"

"Naw. I'm trying to quit. Mind if I have a soda?"

"Sure. Go ahead."

Jecht took a cola out of the refrigerator and sat down next to Lionel. "There's this kid who looks like Chappu wandering around. They actually got an exhumation order."

"And what happened?"

"Chappu's bones were still in the grave."

"Seems open and shut. Con artist."

"But for an actor, he's pretty convincing. He knows a lot of things. Specific things. The voice and mannerisms are down to a tee, too. They actually took a sample of his DNA and sent it to a lab. The results are pending, but what if it matches?"

"What if it does?"

"There's something going on here. And I'm kind of scared. They actually shot him _in the chest. _And he didn't die! Another thing? He has no vitals. No blood pressure. No pulse. No respiration rate."

"There is a rational explanation. There always is." Lionel replied. "Maybe he's some sort of bad omen."

"The dead don't just come back." Jecht glanced at the coffee table. "What's this?" He picked up a sheet of paper and read it over. His face scrunched into a frown. He quickly folded the paper and tucked it into his pants pocket.

XXX

After defeating Gabriel, the Keybearers and their retinue traveled through the Seraphic Gate until they came to a staircase.

A humanoid mouse was standing in front of the stairs. He was at least a head taller than Mickey, and his snout was more elongated. He was clad in a simple yellow turtleneck, orange jacket, and black pants.

"MORTIMER?!" Mickey, Donald, and Goofy yelled in unison.

"That's my name. Don't wear it out," the mouse replied.

"What are you doing here?" Mickey asked.

"I'm looking for someone," Mortimer said.

"Who?" Sora asked.

"None of your business, brat," Mortimer answered.

"How do you know the king?" Sora asked.

"Up until several years ago, I was a knight at Disney Castle. Except I was asked by his Majesty to resign."

"That's a lie!" Mickey cried. "You quit by your own choice! You left a letter of resignation, with no explanation!"

"Why I left goes without saying," Mortimer said. "You wronged me, Mickey. And through that action, you asked me to leave. So I did."

"You dare disrespect His Majesty?" Donald asked, raising his staff.

"He's not my king," Mortimer said. "I daresay he's not fit to be a king of anything."

"What did Mickey do to you?" Riku asked.

Mortimer pointed at Goofy. "He promoted that idiot instead of me."

"You quit your job because you were passed over for promotion?" Riku asked.

"I just said that," Mortimer answered. "Do you think it's admirable?"

"Actually," Riku said. "It's the pettiest thing I've ever heard. And I've known petty."

Mortimer snorted. "It was petty of Mickey to pass me over because I happened to be friends with Pete."

"You were friends with Pete?" Sora asked.

"Yup. Godfather of his son and everything."

"I promoted Goofy because of his fighting abilities," Mickey said. "It had nothing to do with _the incident." _

"Liar!" Mortimer snarled. "I was ten times better than Goofy! And I had nothing to do with what Pete did! You just hated me because you couldn't charge me with treason! You've always hated me. And ever since you got that crown, you've made my life a living hell."

"I never mistreated you! Mickey said.

Mortimer laughed. "You really are a lousy liar, Mick. You used to be so nice. And then you got the crown, and suddenly you don know us common folk from Oswald. Listen to the gossip floating around the Disney Kingdom. People are talking. And they're saying 'Life sucks under King Mickey'!"

"Pete recently started a campaign of Heartless," Sora said. "Do you know anything about that?"

Mortimer shook his head. "I haven't seen or spoken to Pete in years. Are the rumors true?"

"What rumors?" Mickey asked.

"That he's been hanging around with Maleficent?" Mortimer said.

"Yes, they are," Goofy said.

Mortimer sighed. "Such a shame. If only..."

"Um, I'm confused," Sora said. "What exactly did Pete do to get banished from the Disney Kingdom in the first place?"

Mortimer shook his head. "Kid, there are things you're better off not knowing."

"Say, Morty," Donald said. "If you think you're a better fighter than Goofy, prove it. Beat him one on one. Or better yet, fight me."

"You?" Mortimer laughed.

Donald smirked. "Why don't you try me?"

_Maybe I should say something... _Sora thought. _Mortimer's a bit of a jerk, but he doesn't deserve to get hurt..._

**Are you kidding? This is gonna be hilarious! **Roxas replied. **I only wish I had some popcorn. **

Mortimer pulled out a shield. It was plain, and lacked the Disney insignia. "Go ahead, Featherbutt. Give it your best shot."

Donald raised his staff. "I invoke the rites of fiery Muspelheim, and give thy soul up to the inferno's embrace! Ifrit Caress!" Giant balls of fire surrounded Mortimer and exploded.

Mortimer was charred black and smoking. "Hey, no fair! You cheated!"

Donald blew smoke off his staff, as if he were blowing smoke off a gun. "Oh, yes. This works."

XXX

Calliope had been taken to a dark room devoid of any light, save for a tiny crack below the door.

Calamity opened the door. "So, what do you think of my alliances?"

Calliope laughed.

"What's so funny?" Calamity demanded.

"Look at your seven deputies. Loki, the bringer of Ragnarok? Marjoly, the most vicious witch in the world? Damon Gant killed two coworkers for his own selfish motives. The last guy who trusted Kefka ended up dead. And frankly, I don't trust that porky little kid any farther than I can kick him."

"Your point being?" Calamity asked.

"How can you trust them? The Keybearers won't have to worry about killing you. Your own allies will stab you in the back."

"Oh, really? They'll be too busy back-stabbing each other."

Calliope giggled again. "You really think your allies like you, Calamity? Here's a newsflash: they hate you. They hate you just as much as the rest of the world."

"You have beautiful teeth", Calamity said. "White, shiny, like little pearls. I think I'll have them yanked from your gums, drill holes in them, and string them into a bracelet." Calamity continued. "Why the sudden concern for my well-being? You'd be happy if I were killed."

"I do not take pleasure in the misfortune of others."

"Drop the goody-goody act, Calliope. You weren't really concerned about me. You were hoping I'd stop trusting my allies and fire them." Calamity shrugged. "Betrayal is a risk within any villain alliance. I wouldn't be too surprised to find a knife in my back. But if one of my deputies does betray me, I can deal. I've been dealing my whole life. And I'm not going to stop now."

XXX

"This is a waste of time," Maia said, surveying the three-bed room of the Radiant Garden Grand Hotel. "We should be looking for Sora."

"You need to rest," Auron replied. "Sora's a strong fighter. He can take care of himself for the moment."

Kairi entered the room, carrying a shopping bag. "I got us some more potions and stuff. I ran into Yuffie Kisaragi. She says Sora was here. We just missed him."

Maia slumped on the double bed.

Kairi reached into her shopping bag. "I also found this." She pulled out a stuffed octopus. "I think I'll name him...'Octavius.'"

Gordon curled into the fetal position. "Eeek!"

Kairi held the toy in front of him. "It's just a plushie! It won't hurt!"

"Nice octopus!" Gordon curled further into a ball.

"Let me guess," Auron said. "You were attacked by an octopus as a child?"

"No," Gordon said. "I just find them creepy. And slimy. And ugly."

Auron rolled his eyes.

Kairi groaned. "Fine. I'm putting him away." She dropped the toy octopus back into her bag. "There. It's gone. It can't hurt you."

Gordon ignored her and glared at Auron. "Don't look at me like that! There's something you're afraid of too! Something that makes you freeze just thinking about it! Everyone's afraid of something."

XXX

"Mortimer was a strong fighter," Mickey commented. "He was just caught off-guard by Donald's new magic."

"So he was actually good at fighting?" Riku asked. "I'm having a hard time seeing that."

"His talent had no end," Goofy said.

"Just like his nose!" Donald added.

Everyone snickered. Before long, they approached the next flight of stairs. A young girl dressed in a black and white maid outfit stood before them. She had blonde hair in two ponytails.

"Hi," The girl said in a high, sweet voice. "Can you guess my name?"

"Rumplestiltskin!" Goofy said.

"Prissy?" Mickey guessed.

"Bratty?" Riku asked.

"Pahhy?" Sora asked.

A little cloud of steam rose above the girl's head. "When you meet someone, you should at least get their name right. It's Puffy!" An impish grin crossed her face. "What comes with a lady like me?"

"You're a lady?" Riku asked incredulously.

"Beauty?" Mickey guessed.

"A curse?" Sora asked.

"Well, beauty can be a curse," Puffy said. "But that's not nice! The correct answer is: a beast. So come downstairs to meet my beast. If you dare!" She laughed and ran down the stairs.

"Should we?" Sora asked. "She's kind of creepy."

"We have to, Mickey said. Let's just hope it's not some crazy thing with fifty million HP."

"Knowing our luck, it is," Donald grumbled.

XXX

Maia rose from her bed. Her eyes were closed, but she walked to a vase filled with lilies. She took the flowers and held them to her face as if smelling them.

_She's sleepwalking? _Auron thought from his chair. Since he was still technically dead, he felt no need to sleep. He debated waking Maia. He heard once that waking a sleepwalker could cause brain damage, but that sounded like an urban myth. However, it seemed best not to take chances. Sleepwalkers usually returned to bed with no injuries. Wakka had been a sleepwalker, and nothing bad had come out of his episodes...save for some inn staff members who had gotten conked with his blitzball.

Maia ripped the petals off the lilies and dropped them along with the stems on the floor. She moved toward the glass door leading to the balcony. She fiddled with the lock and let herself out. Auron ran after her.

It was raining heavily. The rain soaked through Auron's coat. Lightning flashes streaked across the sky.

"It would be far better to die," Maia said, her speech slightly slurred. "Than thus forever to mourn and sigh. And in death's dreamless sleep be unconscious that none weep for me." She climbed on the balcony rail.

Auron quickly grabbed Maia's waist and pulled her back.

Maia stirred in his arms. "What...what happened? What am I doing out here?"

"You were sleepwalking," Auron explained simply.

"Oh," Maia said, cheeks flushing. "I was dreaming."

"Go inside."

Maia nodded and went inside. She went into the bathroom and closed the door.

Auron closed the balcony door. He moved to the double bed. "Gordon!"

Gordon yawned. "What?"

"Help me move this bureau over the balcony door."

"Why?"

"Maia was sleepwalking, and she almost fell off the balcony. I'm blocking off entry so it doesn't happen again."

"What?!"

"It seemed more humane than tying her to the bed."

"I meant, tell me about the sleepwalking. Maia's never done that before."

"It wasn't just sleepwalking. She climbed on the balcony rail and was about to throw herself over the edge. It was almost as if she were being controlled."

"Are you sure she didn't just lean over it too far?"

"No. And the lock is fairly complicated. A normal sleepwalker wouldn't be able to open it. I'm going to stand guard by the door, in case it happens again."

Kairi, or rather Naminé in Kairi's body, arose. **"Is something wrong? Is there any thing I can do to help?"**

"What happened to your voice?" Auron asked. He jerked a thumb toward Naminé "Is this even the same girl as before?"

Naminé stiffened.

"Of course she is," Gordon said, winking at Naminé "Why wouldn't she be?"

Auron shrugged. "Okay. Whatever you say."

XXX

Calamity had returned to her villains' meeting. She and her deputies were watching Auron and Maia through a viewing ball.

"It's just as I said. You won't be able to get to her with that walking corpse around," Hades commented.

"Shall we dispatch him?" Loki asked. "And by dispatch, I mean kill. Again."

"No," Calamity said. "I thought a few centuries living as a human might have toughened Sappho up. But she's still as delicate and sensitive as ever. She could be fun to play around with."

XXX

In the hotel bathroom, Maia finished drying off her hair. She re-entered the bedroom. "I'm going to get a drink from the lounge."

"I'll accompany you," Auron said.

"I'll go too," Gordon added.

"**I don't want to stay here alone," Naminé** said.

The four-member party took the elevator to the lounge. A few people sat at the bar, or at some small tables.

Maia ordered lemonade for her and Naminé They sat at a table just behind the bar.

"**I wanted to talk to you,"** Naminé said. **"Now seems a good time as any. Kairi's still asleep."**

"And you can fully control the body when she's asleep?" Maia asked.

"**Yes. Or if Kairi willingly lets me."**

"I see. So what did you want to talk to me about?"

Naminé sipped her drink. **"I wanted to thank you. I know where my power comes from."**

Maia thought. "I passed it to Sora, who gained access to Kairi's heart. The bonds between the heart and soul are extremely strong. Even the Heartless have a hard time severing them. I think when Kairi's heart left her body, fragments of her soul came with it. Sora attempted a materialization of Kairi at the moment he stabbed himself with the Dark Keyblade. One of Kairi's soul fragments must have stayed within his body, and gave rise to you. Since Sora's DME was of Mnemosyne and not a Princess of Heart, you inherited Mnemosyne's power."

"**How come Sora doesn't have the power to change memory?"**

" The power to alter memory is passed through the females. Genetic quirk. Philemon doesn't have the memory powers either."

"**Philemon...I wonder if I'll ever see him again."**

"Why thank me? I'm the one who cursed you. I made you a target of the Organization. Sora wouldn't have had his memory altered if not for me."

"**You didn't know,"** Naminé said.

Maia sighed. "At first, the knowledge hurt. But I must say it's a bit of a relief now."

Naminé agreed. **"I know. Larxene used to call me a freak. I used to believe her, but I don't anymore. It feels good. I'm just sorry that I caused you pain when I broke the seal." **

"I've been in worse pain. Like when my mother tried to kill me when I was young." Maia felt her right shoulder. "She broke my clavicle. That's why my right shoulder is lower than my left."

"**I saw your memory of it."**

"She thought I was possessed by a demon. I felt a little bit guilty about it. Thought that I somehow caused her insanity. But I didn't. That's such a relief. One less thing I'm guilty of."

"**What happened to her?"**

"She was sent to an insane asylum on the continent. She wrote me letters. In the last one, she begged to see Sora before she died. She was critically ill. I wrote back and told her that if she ever came near my baby, I'd kill her. The next letter came in a black envelope. I guess she decided to take her chances with the cancer. But I can't look down on her. I'd be a hypocrite. I killed my first child."

"**That was a miscarriage. It wasn't your fault."**

"That's just what the doctors said to make me feel better. But that child was in my body, and I failed to nourish it. I never even named it. It should have a name. It deserved better. And now I've endangered my second child. The people on Destiny Islands must look at me with the same disdain they held for my mother."

"**They don't. They think of you as a good, kind woman who loves her son. They think you worry a little too much, but that's it." **

"Oh, really? Kairi thinks that?"

Naminé nodded.** "For one." **

Meanwhile, Auron and Gordon were sitting at the bar. Gordon had his usual two beers and switched to club soda. Auron downed several glasses of sake in succession.

"I've seen strong drinkers in my day," the bartender said. "But...the amount this guy has consumed. I bet he passes out within five minutes."

Auron pushed his empty glass forward without the slightest loss of coordination.

Gordon smirked as the bartender refilled the glass. "Bet you ten thousand munny he doesn't."

XXX

A giant slimy creature towered over the party. It was dark purple, almost black.

"This must be Puffy's monster," Goofy said.

"It's so gross, Clio commented.

"It's a flan, Euterpe said. "I've heard one can cook them."

"BLAAARGH!" The flan roared.

"If it doesn't eat us first," Erato said. "It looks hungry."

"Flans are resistant to physical attacks, but vulnerable to magic," Urania informed.

The flan moved forward, oozing slowly.

"It's big. It's slow," Donald observed, twirling his staff. "It's lunch. Ifrit Caress!"

Clio drew her bow. "Holy arrows!" Arrows of pure light struck the flan.

Urania took out her orb. "Ye must desire restbit from thy empty existence. Thou shall have it! Celestial Star!" Columns of glittering stardust landed on the flan.

Sora, Mickey, and Riku threw Firaga balls, Pearl orbs, and Dark Firagas respectively.

The flan let out a cry of agony. Its eyes closed and it collapsed into a pile of ooze.

"We should stop to rest," Mickey advised. "The floors are only going to get tougher as we go."

"I'll pitch the tents," Goofy volunteered.

"NO!" Everyone cried in unison.

XXX

Jecht entered his house and crossed the living room.

His son, Tidus, was on the couch reading a comic book. "Dad?"

Jecht said nothing.

"Are you...crying?" Tidus asked. In his twelve years of life, that had to be a first.

Jecht pulled a piece of paper -- Lionel's DNR order -- and tossed it in the fireplace.

Tidus watched it burn.

XXX

Sora, Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Riku, and the Destiny sisters had set up their campsite. They built a campfire and sat around it, eating their flan.

"Should we really be eating dessert first?" Sora asked. "This flan is sweet."

"Dessert? This is dinner," Donald replied. "It's making me too full to think of anything else."

"Not even roasting marshmallows?" Goofy asked. "We can't have a campfire without marshmallows."

Riku looked into the fire. "Kind of reminds me of those father-son camping trips. We'd sing cornball songs and roast marshmallows."

"That sounds nice," Erato scooted closer to Riku.

"Yeah," Riku said. "We stopped going. My dad got too sick."

"Want to sing 'Michael, Row the Boat Ashore'?" Sora suggested. "Like old times?"

"I'm too full to sing," Riku replied.

"Let's tell stories," Terpsichore suggested.

"Let me try," Euterpe said. "There was this little old lady named Annie. And she raised goats, so the people in the local village called her Goat Annie. And she lived alone, preferring the company of her goats to other people. And the villagers gossiped about her. One day, the town decided they wanted to seize her land. So the evictors came with the papers. Told her she had thirty days to leave. She replied that she was born and raised there. She owned that land. And no one was going to take it from her. And she took out her twelve-gauge, and with a blast, she sent them packing. The next day, they showed up with the cops. But then they decided it wasn't right to shoot at a poor old lady. So they left her alone. "

"So the moral of this story is to be nice to old ladies?" Riku asked. "Because they might be strong enough to fire a twelve gauge shotgun?"

"The moral of this story is not to underestimate the underdog," Euterpe said. "Because they're the ones who will triumph in the end. That's what I believe, at any rate."

"Yeah," Sora said. "As long as we stick together, we'll beat Calamity."

Urania stared into the fire. She opened a notebook and tore out a piece of paper.

"Yeah, and we'll save our sisters," Terpsichore said.

Urania stood up. "Sora, could I speak with you? Alone?"

"Sure." Sora said. He got up and followed Urania down an alcove.

A pale image of an old woman appeared. "Sora!"

"A latent dead!" Urania said.

"What?" Sora asked.

"A ghost," Urania replied. "A soul that stays on the material plane instead of migrating to the Astral Plane."

"How do you know my name? Who are you?" Sora demanded.

"My name is Pleione Atlus," replied the apparition.

"Atlus was my mother's maiden name," Sora said.

"I am your maternal grandmother."

"That makes sense," Sora mused. "Wait. How do you know about me? You died before I was born."

Pleione laughed, a cold, lifeless sound. "Is that Maia told you? She lied. I died shortly after you were born. I was terminally ill. I only asked to see you before I died, and she refused."

"But why?" Sora asked.

"She's possessed. It happened when she was little. I tried to use pain to drive it out, but I couldn't. If killing her would have freed her from that demon, I would have gladly done it. But I hesitated back then, and her father stopped me. I explained to the police that I was trying to save her. Nobody believed me. They sent me to an insane asylum on the continent. I had to learn what to say to the shrinks so they wouldn't think I was crazy. And when I was released, Maia wouldn't even respond to my letters. I wasn't invited to her wedding. Even though I was released from the asylum, I knew no one wanted me around. It was that demon that turned everyone against me. I was planning to visit Maia anyway. I bought a knife infused with holy magic. I was going to get her alone and stab her, to finally kill the monster. But I died before I had time. You must finish it for me."

"You're crazy," Sora snapped. "I'm not going to hurt my mother!"

Pleione sobbed. "The entire island turned on me. They threw me in that pit for twenty years. My husband, my daughter, my friends all abandoned me. And when I got sick, nobody cared. No one visited me in the hospital. I wasn't even buried on the island. I was a pariah. I couldn't bear it if you abandoned me too. Will you allow this injustice to stand? You're a hero. Besides, don't you want to rescue your mother?"

Urania held up her hand. "OK, I've heard enough. You're delusional, okay? And no, Sora's not going to harm his mother just because you tell him to. Don't give him your BS about his mother being possessed, because your daughter is not possessed. You've just convinced yourself she is."

Pleione shook with anger. "How dare you!"

Urania waved her hand. "Time to take a little trip to the Astral Plane."

Pleione let out a shriek of rage as her image faded.

Sora looked on, surprised. "Did you...kill her?"

Urania rolled her eyes. "Of course not. She's already dead."

"What happened?"

"I simply sent her soul to the Astral Plane, where she can be guided to reincarnation. Her vindictive thoughts kept her from going naturally."

"Aren't you just a death goddess?" Sora asked.

Urania shook her head. "A death god is simply responsible for the snuffing out of lives. That's Thanato's job. My sisters and I judge souls – if they're fit for reincarnation or the sinners' cesspool. Wouldn't you call us life goddesses, then?"

Sora scratched his head. "I guess so. So why'd you call me out here?"

"I want to ask you a favor."

"What is it?"

"When you destroy Calamity," Urania took out a sealed envelope. "Could you give this to my mother? I wrote this while we were riding the Gummi Ship."

"Why can't you give it to her yourself?"

Urania looked right into Sora's eyes. "Because I will be dead."

To Be Continued


	9. Hopeless Resolution

_Auron felt dizzy. He was standing in what looked like a beautiful green field. Several varieties of colorful flowers dotted the field, but he couldn't identify any of them. _

"_Welcome," a little girl walked up to him. "We've been waiting a long time for you. Ten years, to be precise. But you had some unfinished business, so that's okay." She held out a red flower. "When you give someone a lotus flower, you're praying for their eternal life." _

"_Who are you?" Auron demanded. _

"_My name is of no importance," the girl said. She had long red-gold hair adorned with a blue ribbon. She wore a white sailor dress trimmed with blue and red ribbons and Mary-Jane shoes. _

_Auron looked down at her. "Where is this?" _

"_The Astral Plane, though you knew it as 'the Farplane.'" The girl held up a clipboard and showed it to Auron. "This is accurate, right?" _

_Auron looked at the clipboard. It was his complete life history, from his birth in Bevelle to his death in Zanarkand to Yuna's pilgrimage. Meticulously typed. There was yellow highlighting in the section about that...rather embarrassing experience. "How do you know so much about me? Who are you exactly?" _

"_I'm a Daughter of Destiny. An emissary from the Queen of Memory." _

"_Look, Sailor Moon, I expect an answer I can understand." _

_The girl's lip trembled. "Sailor Moon?!" She looked down at her dress briefly, then looked back up at him. It looked like she was getting a crick in her neck, as Auron towered above her. "Simply put, I am a judge of men's souls. And you'll find me a harsh judge." _

_Auron laughed ruefully. "Is that a threat?" _

_The girl looked unhappy. "I'm new at this, okay? So let's not make this more difficult than it has to be." _

_Auron looked around. There was a staircase that appeared to be made of glass just ahead. A man was ascending it. He squinted. "Jecht?!" He pushed the girl aside and ran toward the staircase. "Jecht! Wait!" _

_Jecht turned around. He glanced at Auron, but gave no sign of recognition. _

"_Hey!" The girl said, getting up._

_Auron raced up the stairs, his boots making clinking sounds on the glass. _

_Jecht shrugged and reached the top of the stairs. He walked into what looked like a solid wall. Auron touched the wall and met resistance. "How did he do that?" _

_The mysterious girl was behind him. "He's fully accepted his death. He's moved on." _

"_What did you do to him?" Auron asked. "It was like he didn't even recognize me." _

"_He didn't," The girl said. "Your appearance, the sound of your voice…he's forgotten. He's passed on to the next life." _

"_Reincarnation?" Auron asked. "So…I'll have to forget everything too?" _

"_In due time," the girl answered. "I don't think you're ready for reincarnation at this time. You have yet to leave your worldly troubles behind." _

"_My what?" _

"_Spira is free, Sin is dead, but you still feel guilt over Braska's death. And then there's something else. I don't think you're mature enough to pass to the next life." _

"_You're a little girl!" Auron snapped. "What do you know about maturity?" He swung his sword at her. The girl caught it and held it. _

"_I wouldn't do that," the girl said. _

"Auron!" A male voice shook Auron out of his dream. "Wake up!"

Auron opened his eyes. Gordon was standing in front of him holding a pair of cymbals and an air horn. The ALF alarm clock from the Stellar Graveyard, an accordion, a jackhammer, a cannon, an air raid siren, and a DVD of _The Best of Carrot Top _lay scattered on the floor.

"What happened?" Auron asked blearily. His head was pounding.

"You passed out five and a half minutes after I made that bet. Which was totally awesome, because I made ten thousand munny."

"Didn't it occur to you to wake me?"

Gordon pointed to the assorted objects around the room. "What do you think I've been trying to do?"

"Where are the others?"

"The teleportation portal's already open. We're going to Christmas Town."

"Christmas Town?" Auron sounded confused.

Gordon's face lit up. "Yeah! We're going to see Santa!"

Auron clutched his forehead. "Could you not be so obnoxiously cheerful?"

XXX

"What do you mean 'you'll be dead'?" Sora demanded.

Urania looked uncomfortable. "That might be hard to explain. You see, my sisters and I are only half-sisters. My mother dated several mortals of her choosing to produce us. My father was a psychic. He was murdered. My mother showed me on the viewing ball. She told me it was the fate of all prophets. And I'd have to be careful."

"That's terrible," Sora commented. "Why didn't she save him?"

"My father wasn't pleased when my mother told him she was pregnant with his child. He made her promise that she would never intervene in his life again. Even if he were dying. She had to sign the contract in blood. And if you remember, blood covenants cannot be broken...unless you want misfortune to come. But I'm digressing. I read my own future, but there is none. Sometime soon, I will die. Presumably fighting Calamity or one of her underlings."

"I won't let you die," Sora insisted. "Neither will the King."

Urania clutched herself. "I want to believe that, but you have to understand. I am never wrong on these visions. When heroes came to ask favors of my mother, I'd sometimes read their fortunes if they asked. I'd know if they were going to die soon. Sometimes I'd just get the feeling, other times I'd know exactly what would happen."

"Did you warn them?"

"Of course I did. I told them 'Don't get on that plane.' 'Quit speeding.' 'Stop smoking because the cancer is already in both lungs.' And the ever-popular 'Can the Big Macs before you have a heart attack.' But they never listened. And all of them died within a year."

"I said I wouldn't let you die. I promise."

"I don't know why, but something is telling me to trust you. My instincts are telling me to trust you. But I won't. You're mortal, with mortal failings. Even if you try your best, you'll still fail."

"When have I ever failed? I mean, in hero work. I failed my algebra test last week..."

"Sora, you're a good person. And I know you mean well. But having a Keyblade does not make you omnipotent."

"Urania, why do you think you can see the future? So you can change it."

"Change it?"

"I think you and your father were meant to save people with this gift. Maybe you should read the others' futures, so we can know if any are in danger."

"I'm too scared to read my sisters' futures. What if they die too?"

"They won't," Sora said. "I don't know why, but I feel like I need to protect you. I know we don't really know each other, but it's what I always imagined having a big sister would be like."

"If you're uncomfortable delivering the letter, I can just ask Donald or the King."

"No. I'll do it." Sora tucked the letter in his pocket. "Can I rip it up when this is over and you're safe?"

Urania sighed. "If I am alive when this is over, go ahead. Let's get back to the others before they send out a search party."

XXX

"How's the research going?" Calamity asked Lezard.

Lezard adjusted his glasses. "Tens of thousands of millions of billions of pages, with incredibly fine print and no index? The ink so faded it's nearly impossible to read? How do you think it's going?!"

"Sorry, but you're the only one with the expertise to read it. Besides, you'll get your reward soon. Think of silver hair and luscious lips."

Lezard held up a piece of paper. "I found something interesting. That Keyblades are amplified when they're in close proximity. So Myelinne was on to something with that 'multiple Keyblade' idea."

Calamity perked up. "Myelinne was _right_? So six other Keyblades could hypothetically amplify the Dainslef's natural power enough to challenge me?"

"It would have to be six, but yes."

"Good thing I'm going to take out two birds with one stone, then," Calamity said. "Three, if you count the fatty."

"If it makes you feel better, there is no way there can ever be six," Lezard added.

"Really? It says that?"

"No, I've been having trouble finding the resources on Keyblades. But cognitively, how many Keyblades are there?"

"The Kingdom Keys, the Way to the Dawn, and the Princess."

"Exactly. Only four currently exist."

XXX

"This is so strange," Kairi commented, following the others into the little wooden house on Candy Cane Lane. "It's just as my old picture books describe it."

Maia knelt before Santa Claus. "It's been a long time, Nicholas."

"Lady Sappho?" asked Santa. "Queen Mnemosyne told me you passed on years ago."

"It's a long story," Maia said. "Did my mother say anything about my death?"

"Just that you'd return 'when you learned your lesson'," Santa shrugged. "I have no idea what that means."

"I see," Maia said, sounding sad.

"What are you doing here? You've never seen Christmas Town with your own eyes, have you? I always had to come to see you."

"I have terrible news," Maia said. "Calamity is awake. She's taken control of my mother. As far as I know, she hasn't attacked any worlds yet. But she's probably building up her army. Raise your defenses. Christmas Town represents everything she hates. It'll probably be her first target."

"I see." Santa flipped an intercom switch on his chair. "Attention, all elves. We are now on full alert. I repeat, we are on ELFCON One."

"The Keybearers are trying to stop Calamity as we speak," Maia said. "You've met my son, Sorrel."

"Sora is your son," Santa nodded. "I knew there was something familiar about him. I thank you for the warning."

"Um, you guys go ahead," Gordon said. "I want to ask Santa some questions. Alone."

"Aren't you old to be asking if you're on the good list?" Kairi teased.

XXX

"My turn," Erato said. "This story has stuck with me for a long time. There's this fairy king by the name of Oberon, from the magic island of Avalon."

"I vaguely remember that from English class," Riku said. "Isn't that where King Arthur sleeps?"

"Yeah," Erato continued. "And Oberon has a bunch of kids. One of them, the Snow Queen, was born of ice. And was unable to love or feel, or so she thought. Men would ask for her hand in marriage, except her daddy Oberon decreed that no one would ever marry her. So they would be killed. One guy, younger and more handsome than her other suitors, came but he didn't propose. The Snow Queen eventually felt that she'd like to marry that man, but he died too. He died before she could ever tell him she loved him. She shed a tear for him. It was the first time she ever cried."

"Gawrsh," Goofy said. "What happened to her?"

Erato shrugged. "Returned to her father. It's said that she still searches for her lost love. You know, I once asked my mother if I could ever experience love. She laughed and asked 'Erato, why do you waste time with such trivial thoughts'?"

"They are trivial," Euterpe snapped. "We were created to guide and protect souls. We exist for no other reason."

Terpsichore nodded. "Yeah. Humans deserve love. We don't."

"Terpsichore, haven't you ever wished to dance with someone?" Erato asked. "You can't waltz alone."

Terpsichore folded her arms. "That is a meaningless question, and I will not dignify it with an answer."

"Tell me how can I be a Goddess of Love if I don't even know how love feels?" Erato asked. "All I see are its effects."

"Erato, you're a conscientious goddess," Clio said. "You're good at what you do."

Erato folded her arms. "I'm great at what I do."

"But mortal and gods are on opposite sides of a chasm that cannot be breached," Clio said.

"Didn't stop Mother from sleeping around to produce us," Erato replied.

"Um, we needed human DNA and human emotions so that we'd understand humanity's hopes and dreams better," Clio explained. "Mother called it 'a necessary evil.' Tell me, Erato. Have any of her romances with mortal men worked out?"

"Well...not really."

"And then there's Sappho," Clio added. "Did that end well?"

"No. But I'm not convinced the guy was bad. He seemed too genuine..."

"She still killed herself without giving us any explanation," Clio said. "So it didn't end well."

XXX

Gordon hopped into Santa's lap.

"Well, what do you want for Christmas?" Santa asked.

"I want to change," Gordon said. "I want to be brave and strong. I want you to make me like Auron. If your sled can circle the world and deliver all those toys in one night, you can fix me. At least, I hope so."

"Fix you?" Santa asked.

"Yes. I'm ineffective. Kairi told me I'm worthless baggage, and I'm starting to think she's right. The first time I tried to defend Maia, I ended up in the hospital. When our world was taken, we ended up in Traverse Town. And no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't find Sora. Maia was inconsolable, and I couldn't ease her pain. I couldn't do anything when Ultros tried to attack us. I couldn't help against Hades either. I just stood there like an idiot. And in Radiant Garden, Maia almost fell from a fifteenth story balcony. And guess who saved her. Auron. And what was I doing? I was asleep! What kind of husband sleeps while his wife is in danger like that?"

"But you want to become Auron?"

"Yes. He's...perfect." Kairi's description of Auron came back to him: _military demeanor, supremely confident with courage and a good heart. Responsible, shrewd, and alert. _"Fulfills every cherished trait of a fairy-tale knight. Everything I'm not."

"Is that everything you've noticed about him?"

"Santa, I think you'd know if I'm not honest. So I'll tell you the truth. Auron's a total grouch. And kind of stuck-up. I know he looks down on me."

"A textbook closed-off alpha male. Auron has a good heart, but it's hardened. He has lost the ability to dream, and to trust. He has never felt true, unadulterated love. He's cold and bitter. Tell me, Gordon. Do you really want to become that?"

"Well...no."

"You are unique among adults, Gordon. You have retained the ability to love unconditionally. You're one of the few adults who still believes in me."

"Well, it's kind of hard not to believe when I'm sitting in your lap."

"You already have the power to defend the ones you love. You shouldn't underestimate your own worth. "

"Can I ask for a favor?" Gordon asked.

"What is it?"

"Would you mind if I took a toy from your workshop? I think Sora would really get a kick out of it."

"Go ahead. At least one toy will reach a good child. If Calamity attacks, well, it'll be worse than the Sleigh Crash of '64. Well, I'll take you to my workshop. Come with me." Santa rose. Gordon followed.

Santa's toy factory was still running with a skeleton crew. Gordon glanced at the finished toys: dolls, jump ropes, board games, stuffed animals, and other playthings. He selected a Jack Frost doll and tucked it in his backpack.

XXX

Sora and his party were still sitting around their campfire.

Puffy approached the fire. "Hey!"

Everyone looked toward her.

"Where's my pet flan?" Puffy demanded. "I figured he would have eaten you by now."

"We ate him," Mickey explained. "We were hungry."

"MY SQUISHY!" Puffy cried. "YOU ATE MY SQUISHY!"

"He sure was delicious," Urania said, patting her stomach.

"WAAAH!" Puffy threw herself on the ground and pounded her fists. "Eleven years ago! Seven years ago! Five years ago! Three years ago! How long must my dignity suffer?!"

**Can we kill her now? **Roxas asked eagerly. **Put her out of her misery? **

_No! _Sora snapped.

**Phooey. **

Urania got up. "I hate noisy little brats. How about we move on to the next floor?"

XXX

"I've never seen snow," Kairi said. "It never snowed in Radiant Garden. It rained a lot, though." She shivered. "It's freezing out here."

"If you're cold, why don't you put some clothes on?" Maia asked.

Kairi pointed to her pink dress. "I have clothes on! And who are you to insult my fashion sense? Who wears one petticoat on a tropical island…let alone four?!"

"I'm not cold and I'm not wearing that many layers," Auron said.

"That's because you're dead!" Kairi replied. "Wait…Auron, your breath!"

Auron's breath was condensing. "I hadn't noticed."

"That means you're actually breathing," Maia observed. "The first sign of independent life."

"When will he be fully independent?" Kairi asked.

"It varies," Maia explained. "Anywhere from a week to a month."

"So, Auron, what do you plan to do when you're alive again?" Kairi asked.

"I don't know," Auron replied. "I haven't given it much thought."

"Lady Sappho, wait!" came a voice.

Maia turned around. "Kolyada?"

Kolyada, a young woman with golden blonde hair, blue eyes, and pointed ears, panted. "I want to help you in your journey."

"Um, who are you?" Kairi asked. "You look a little young to be Mrs. Claus."

"I'm an elf," Kolyada replied. "I assist Santa in information gathering. Every Christmas, I deliver toys to places that Santa's sled cannot reach easily. The frozen north, for example. You try flying a sled in a blizzard."

"You want to help me?" Maia asked. "I'm willing to take any help I can get."

Kolyada handed her a silver bell on a red ribbon. "I'll stay here, but whenever you ring that bell, I'll come."

XXX

The fifth floor of the Seraphic Gate looked rather like a nightclub. There was a dance floor, a bar, and a stage. A karaoke machine was on the stage, awaiting anyone brave enough to step up.

"Welcome," said the only person on the floor. He was clad in a white tuxedo. He had green skin, red eyes, and a pair of horns.

"An Empath demon?" Euterpe asked.

"A what?" Goofy asked.

"A demon who can read people's emotions," Terpsichore explained.

"My name is Lorne," said the demon, bowing. "Remember, no fighting." He pointed to a sign that read _Eating the clientele is strictly prohibited._ "This is a sanctuary for those tired of the grueling fights out there. Come on, have a drink."

"Um, I don't drink," Sora said.

"I miss Xehanort's likeness," Riku said to no one in particular. "I didn't have to be carded at bars."

"Um, Mr. Lorne?" Mickey asked, pointing toward the exit sign. "The door seems to be blocked."

"It requires a password. I could enter it, but..." Lorne began.

"You need a favor?" Urania asked.

"Well, it's kind of lonely here," Lorne said. "If all of you sing one karaoke number, I'll enter the password. I'll even do readings for free."

"Why do we have to sing?" Donald asked sourly.

"Let's just humor him," Terpsichore suggested. "Better than fighting another boss, right?"

"I'll go first," Clio said, picking up the microphone. "This seems like a fun game." She moved to the karaoke console and selected a song. "If you miss the train I'm on, then you will know I am gone. You can hear the whistle blow five hundred miles..."

"Wow, she's got a purty voice," Goofy said.

Clio finished her song and handed the microphone to Euterpe.

Euterpe picked up the microphone. "As I walk away, my world comes tumbling down. That's all right, you'll go home again, without me. Where will I go tomorrow...?"

"Wow," Lorne said. "I haven't sensed anger this strong since Captain Peroxide!"

Euterpe glared. "If one more person tells me I need anger management, I really will kill someone."

"I should introduce you to my mother, but I digress," Lorne said. "Next."

"Everybody laughs at the things that I say and do. They all laugh when they see me coming..." Goofy sang.

"Man, his mother was right to name him 'Goofy'," Lorne said.

Donald desperately wished for a pair of earplugs. "When's my turn?!"

"Dreaming of your love and not knowing where to start," Goofy finished. He passed the microphone to Polyhymnia.

"You spend all your time waiting for that second chance," Polyhymnia sang. "There's always some reason to feel not good enough..."

Polyhymnia blushed furiously. "I'm so embarrassed, I could die." She tossed the microphone to Mickey, as if it were a snake.

"Put a candle in the window," Mickey began. "Cause I feel I got to move..."

"You'd think he'd sing something a little higher, given his voice," Clio observed.

Riku was next. "Coming out of the dark. I finally see the light now..."

"Can't you see the fear that I'm feelin' today?" Urania sang. "If the button is pushed, there is no running away. There'll be no one to save, with the world in a grave..."

"Um, there's something you should know," Lorne said. "You..."

"I know," Urania interrupted. "I'm psychic too."

"But..." Lorne looked suspiciously at Sora, who looked back with a confused expression.

"My turn!" Donald snatched the microphone. "Yes, no, maybe. I don't know. Can you repeat the question...?"

Erato went next. "Well, it's getting kind of late. I hope I didn't wake you. But what I've gotta say can't wait. Every time I tried to tell you, the words just came out wrong..."

"Live your story; faith, hope, and glory," Terpsichore sang sweetly. "Hold to the truth in your heart. If we hold on together, I know our dreams will never die..."

"Imagine there's no heaven. It's easy if you try..." Sora's voice cracked.

"Lennon he's not..." Erato said.

"...And the world will live as one," Sora finished. He bowed. Everyone clapped, including Lorne.

**Honestly, could you do a more sugary song? **Roxas complained from his usual position in Sora's head. **And how come I don't get a turn?! I wanted to do Steppenwolf's "Born to Be Wild." **

_Roxas, do you remember when I let you sing through me in Atlantica? _Sora asked. _People's ears bled. _

**Not my fault sound carries better underwater. **

Sora felt a bit of warm fuzziness. _What's this? _

**Oh, just indulging an old memory. The countless hours Axel and I spent in karaoke bars, singing everything from "Paint It Black" to "Horse With No Name." **

_Oh, those poor karaoke patrons..._ Sora inwardly wept.

Lorne took out a brilliant blue orb. "These ladies are a tough act to follow. So I'll give you this for being so brave. And you know what they say. 'Music hath charms to soothe the savage extra personality.'"

"Um, Roxas isn't really an extra personality..." Sora trailed off as Lorne pulled out a remote control and punched several of the buttons.

"If you need a place to rest, my door is always open. Come again," Lorne said cheerfully as Sora and his party left.

When Sora reached the foot of the stairs, he had to rub his eyes to make sure what he was seeing wasn't just an illusion.

Sephiroth was sitting in a lawn chair, eating from a fruit cup and reading Sophocles' _Oedipus Rex. _

"Why the fruit cup?" Sora asked.

"Why the stupid face?" Sephiroth replied.

Sora drew his Keyblade. "I assume you're prepared."

"Not interested," Sephiroth said.

"Huh?" Sora asked. "Aren't you going to kick my butt?"

"Nope. Move along."

"Well, why not?!" Sora asked. "And what are you doing here anyway?"

"What's it look like?" Sephiroth asked boredly. "I'm hiding from Cloud."

"Um, Cloud's kind of flipping out back in Radiant Garden."

"Argh. That kid can't survive with me around, and he can't survive without me."

"But doesn't he want to destroy you? I mean, you asked me to bring him to you last time we met. Why's the Mighty Sephiroth hiding?"

"Kid, I'm not Sephiroth. Or perhaps I should say, I'm not the real Sephiroth."

"Then where's the real Sephiroth?"

"Cloud killed the real Sephiroth years ago."

"So why are you impersonating Sephiroth?"

"I'm a composite of Cloud's negative feelings and memories. I'm just in the form of Sephiroth. Since Sephiroth was Cloud's biggest concern. You see, Cloud thinks he can solve all his problems with a sword. It just doesn't work that way. He needs to resolve the feelings I represent. The more he tries to kill me, the more power I exert over him. But if he were to let go, I'm through. My power ends."

"So you'll disappear?" Sora asked.

"Yes. I've told him over and over. That he hides from the light of the present. That he should stop running away. And stop clutching so tightly to the darkness of the past."

"Doesn't that go against self-preservation?"

Sephiroth rolled his eyes. "Do you think I WANT to be out here? Of course, Cloud is one fucked-up kid, so being in his head is not much of an improvement, but still…" He got up.

The strains of "One Winged Angel" began to fill the room.

"There goes that darned orchestra," Goofy said.

"Quiet!" snapped Sephiroth.

The music immediately stopped.

Sephiroth sighed.

"Um, why'd you stop your theme music?" Sora asked. "I thought villains loved it when they had their own cool theme song. Sometimes they even sing songs about themselves."

"That song follows me everywhere I go," Sephiroth said. "It gets old really fast. And it's a total ripoff of Carmina Burana."

"Um…ooh-kay," Sora said.

"You know, squirt, you're the only person besides Cloud and his girlfriend to acknowledge me. I suppose I should thank you. So I'll give you the gift of life for another day." Sephiroth lifted his sword and pointed it toward the stairs. "Proceed."

To Be Continued


	10. Doorway to Heaven

"Can we really trust Sephiroth?" Donald asked.

"We have to keep going anyway," Riku reasoned. "Let's just stay on guard."

"Ah, phooey! I wanted to use my new magic on ol' Sephy," Donald complained.

"You and Goofy left me to fight alone!" Sora snapped. "Both times!"

"We were looking for that darned orchestra," Goofy said.

"Look!" Polyhymnia gestured to the dark figure blocking the staircase to the next floor.

Riku gasped. "It's you!"

Maleficent, the self-proclaimed Mistress of Evil, was standing in the center of the seventh floor of the Seraphic Gate. She wore her usual long black robes and carried her staff. Her raven, Diablo, was perched on her shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" Riku asked.

"I'm searching for magic relics, what else?" Maleficent answered. "Us being here at the same time is a coincidence, nothing more."

"Would you mind letting us pass?" Terpsichore asked.

"Why should I let you pass?" Maleficent asked. "I have a score to settle with the Keybearers, and now seems as good a time as any."

"You petty witch!" Riku snapped.

"Why so angry?" Maleficent asked.

"**You tried to take the spotlight!" **Roxas snapped. **"Remember, Xemnas was supposed to be the main bad guy last time!" **

Maleficent shrugged. "It still beats playing the second-fiddle hero like Riku did in both games."

"Second fiddle?" Riku repeated. "How dare you!"

"Maleficent?" Sora asked. "I know this is weird to ask, but you helped us with Xemnas last time. Would you mind helping us just one last time? We can go back to our usual mutual dislike after Calamity's gone."

"I only helped you because I wanted Xemnas' castle. And I get what I want," Maleficent said. "So don't flatter yourself."

"But Calamity wants to kill us. So shouldn't you want to stop her because you want to kill us yourself?" Mickey asked.

"I doubt Calamity will succeed. You're like cockroaches," Maleficent replied. "On the off chance she does defeat you, I'll simply send her a thank you note."

"You think Calamity's going to let you run around free?" Erato asked. "Guess again. So shouldn't you be concerned, for your own self-preservation?"

"I am not as...delicate as you, Valkyrie," Maleficent answered. "It takes more than death to keep me down."

"You were never supposed to be materialized," Euterpe growled. "You should have stayed dead!"

"And who's going to stop me?" Maleficent asked. "You, the daughter of a weak goddess who depended on mortals to fight for her?"

Euterpe's spear materialized in her hand. "Are you insulting my mother?" She suddenly began to emit a red glow. Her jaw clenched.

"Uh oh," Terpsichore said. "Euterpe's gone into Kill Mode."

"What?" Riku asked. "I thought she was always in Kill Mode."

"Kill Mode is the phrase we colloquially use to describe Euterpe's current state," Urania explained. "When she gets really mad, she'll become stronger and faster. And she'll counterattack far more readily."

"Why don't you try me?" Euterpe asked.

Diablo looked at Euterpe and fell down dead at Maleficent's feet.

"Also, it's not a good idea to look at her while she's in Kill Mode. It's not for the faint of heart," Erato said.

"Your Majesty, Sora, Riku, do you mind if I handle this alone?" Euterpe asked.

"Are you sure?" Goofy asked.

"I can take her," Euterpe said.

"Go ahead," chorused everyone else, including Euterpe's sisters. No one wanted to argue with Euterpe while she was in something called 'Kill Mode.'

Euterpe raised her staff and dove straight toward Maleficent. Maleficent threw large, thorny vines in her path, but Euterpe cleaved through them all with her spear.

Euterpe reached Maleficent and stabbed her five times, though not so deep that the spear would get stuck. Since Maleficent was a fairy, she could sustain more damage than a human. Maleficent responded to the stab wounds with fireballs, which Euterpe easily dodged. Three ghostly holy-elemental spears sliced through Maleficent. Euterpe leaped into the air and hung in the air near the ceiling. "Divine Strike!" Euterpe's spear enlarged to three times its normal size. Euterpe hurled it at Maleficent. It landed with a crash and sent a large cloud of dust.

When the dust cleared, Maleficent was leaning on her staff. "Ugh..."

"Care to rephrase what you said about my mother?" Euterpe asked.

Maleficent staggered back. "I'll leave for now. But mark my words, Sora, I will have my revenge. And you better not hide behind this Valkyrie next time." She vanished, leaving only a small green flame to mark where she had been.

"Euterpe, that was great!" Donald said.

Euterpe's red glow faded. "Thank you."

"Believe it or not, there actually is someone worse than Maleficent," Clio commented.

"I find that hard to believe," Riku said. "You can't get any worse than Maleficent."

"Ever heard of Marjoly?" Urania asked.

"Nope," Sora said. "Never."

"She's known universally as the most malevolent witch in the galaxy," Clio explained.

"When she was fifteen, she fell in love with a prince. She tried to cast a spell to take him to her castle, but it failed miserably." Erato added. "She ended up turning him to stone. And he was rescued by his true love. Marjoly became disillusioned and decided she could find another love if she became so powerful that no man could refuse her. She went to the Netherworld to study the dark arts. And she found the power she so desired. It warped her mind, making her cruel and sadistic. She became a demon."

"Gawrsh!" Goofy commented. "Ya think we'll have to face her?"

"Anything's possible," Urania said.

XXX

Marjoly sneezed.

"Bless you, Mars-Bar," Gant said.

Marjoly glared at him. "Oh, hell no! You're not calling me by that stupid nickname!"

"Would you prefer Mar-Mar?" Gant said. "Joly-Poly?"

"You know what? I'm going to give you a stupid nickname. From now on, I'm gonna call you 'Der Kommissar'!"

Gant laughed and clapped. "I love it!"

Marjoly buried her face in her hands and groaned.

XXX

"Are we all ready to go?" Maia asked the party. They were in front of Santa's house. Everyone else nodded.

"Ready!" A voice came out of nowhere. A familiar voice.

"Didn't think you got rid of me, did you?!" Ultros was there, sharp teeth and all. "It took me a long time to find you!"

Gordon screamed and curled up into the fetal position.

"How can you survive out of water?" Kairi asked. "Or in this freezing cold, for that matter?"

Ultros looked annoyed. "I just can, okay?! None of your beeswax!"

Maia took out the silver bell.

"Your new aeon?" Auron asked.

"We don't have time to slug it out with him." Maia rang the bell.

A beam of light shone down on the party from above. There was a shower of holly leaves, and suddenly Kolyada appeared.

"You really need my help, if you called me already," Kolyada said. "I'll hold him off while you teleport away."

Ultros looked annoyed. "Hey! You can't do that! I'm rather partial to plump mages! Please let me have a bite..." Kolyada blasted him with a stream of sharp icicles. "Owie!"

XXX

"An empty floor! What a relief!" Terpsichore sighed. The ninth floor of the Seraphic Gate was indeed empty, save for a dusty red-bound book lying on the floor.

"What's this dusty book?" Riku kicked at the book.

"Who dares disturb me, the Great Lord Zetta?!" a voice boomed.

Everyone looked around.

"Down here!" The voice came from the book.

Everyone looked down as the book turned itself upright, revealing dark eyes and a nasty smirk.

"A talking book?!" Sora asked.

"ZETTA BEAM!" Zetta shot a beam of white light, which Sora jumped out of the way to avoid. "Hmm...quick enough to dodge that? You're no ordinary little boy."

"Little boy?!" Sora huffed.

"Um, don't you ever read the news?" Terpsichore asked. "He's the Legendary Savior. The Keyblade Master. One of three who have the power to change the course of fate. Any of this ring a bell?"

"That little squirt?" Zetta asked.

**He's annoying me, Sora. Set him on fire or something.**

"If you say so, I'll just crush you all and be on my merry way..." Zetta began.

"Well, what are you gonna do?" Riku taunted. "Give us paper cuts?"

"Like I haven't heard the book jokes a million times already," Zetta snarled. "You want some pain, little boy? Keep talking. I'm the strongest freakin' Overlord you'll ever piss off."

"But you're a book..." Goofy said. "It's kinda hard to take you seriously."

"Book or not, prepare to bow to the universe's most badass freakin' Overlord!"

Donald raised his staff. "Ifrit Caress!" Fireballs appeared and struck Zetta from all sides.

Zetta realized he was on fire. "Ouch! Fire! It BURNS!" He bounced around. "Put it out!"

"I just realized that's the Sacred Tome," Clio said nervously. "It's a book of prophesies. Should we really destroy it?"

"Fine. I'll put him out," Urania said, raising her orb. "Awaken, the voice that speaks of empty sky. Now harken thee the voice of the Ocean's Lord. Tidal Wave!"

A tsunami appeared and engulfed Zetta, extinguishing the flames.

Zetta coughed. "Great! I'm all waterlogged. Now feel my wrath!" He began to glow. "Badass Overdrive!" Tens of thousands of pure energy arrows surrounded the party and pelted them. The room echoed with Zetta's laughter. "Ha! I'm one badass freaking Overlord!"

The onslaught finally ceased.

"Allow me!" Mickey's body glowed. He charged toward Zetta and kicked him with such force that the book flew up into the air. "Disaresta!" Mickey leaped up and slashed at Zetta with his Keyblade about twenty times in succession. Just before Zetta fell, Mickey brought his Keyblade down hard, knocking Zetta down with such force that he left a crater in the ground. Mickey remained levitated in the air. Thousands of Pearl Orbs rained down, hitting Zetta and making him yelp. Mickey followed this up by hurling his Keyblade, creating a giant explosion.

"Whoa..." Sora said. "Is that Mickey's special move?"

"You mean Limit Break?" Riku asked. "It's so powerful."

"This is so unfair!" Zetta cried, coughing out a puff of smoke. "If I had been in my original body, you would never have defeated me!"

Mickey looked surprised. "You mean, that's not your real form?"

Zetta snarled. "Of course not! What kinda bad-ass freakin' Overlord would wanna look like this?! I have to find a way to get my beautiful bod back..." A spell seal appeared around Zetta and he vanished.

Sora noticed a shiny yellow stone on the ground. "Zetta left something behind." He picked it up. "It feels warm to the touch." The rock began to glow. It heated and Sora dropped it before it could burn.

Electricity surged from the crystal, forming into the outline of a humanoid figure. The figure became corporeal.

He had an aura of sheer power around him, though he didn't look that old. Sora guessed his age to be between thirteen and seventeen. The man had teal hair. He wore a pair of baggy pants, an open teal and yellow jacket, and blue gauntlets. His ears were pointed, and he had two horns in the middle of his forehead. "That stupid Zetta trapped me in that crystal! He called it 'magicite', whatever that is. Rotten little...how dare he fight dirty like that! Thanks for releasing me."

"You're welcome," Sora said. "Who are you?"

"I am Alexander, God of Destruction. You can call me Alex. Or Alejandro. I'm not choosy."

"Destruction?" Sora repeated. "So you're evil?!"

Alex shook his head. "Not really. Unless knocking down uppity little bastards like Zetta is evil."

"But you destroy things, right?"

Alex shrugged. "Someone has to. So, how about I come with you?"

"You want to come with me?" Sora asked, surprised.

Alex nodded. "Yeah. There's a chance you'll bump in Zetta again. And I don't like being indebted to a lesser god."

"Lesser god?" repeated Erato. "Man, you're full of yourself."

Alex looked at Erato quizzically.

"Um...I don't know…" Sora said.

**What?! Are you kidding? **Roxas whined. **I love this guy. He kind of reminds me of Axel...**

Sora ignored Roxas as usual and continued. "We have bigger problems than Zetta. Calamity is loose."

"Calamity?" Alex repeated. "She's really bad news. I insist. I'll even ride in that magicite and only come out when you want me to fight. It's kind of cozy once you get used to it."

"Deal!" Sora said. He extended his hand. Alex shook it. Sora felt a surge of electricity course through his body and his skeleton flashed. His hair would have stood on end, had it not already been unnaturally vertical.

Alex blushed. "Whoops. My bad."

XXX

"This is strange," Maia said once the party had landed in a new world. "I was aiming for the Seraphic Gate, in the Tria System. But we're a long way from it."

Kairi looked around. They were in the middle of a forest.

"I knew I might miss it by two or three worlds, but we're way on the other side of the universe!" Maia commented. "Something or someone is interfering with my teleportation spells. This particular world is called Mundania. Magic isn't very strong here. Maybe whoever it was is hoping that we'd be stranded."

"In the middle of nowhere?" Kairi asked. "Seems likely. But who or what could change the course of the teleportation spell?"

"It might be Calamity," Gordon said. "That's my guess."

"Can you get a read on Sora?" Auron asked.

"Yes," Maia said. "He's still in the Seraphic Gate. I want to catch him before he gets Dainslef. He might attempt to challenge Calamity once he gets it."

"Couldn't he kill her with that?" Gordon asked. "The Dainslef is a godkiller Keyblade, isn't it?"

"Four thousand years ago, maybe," Maia said. "But Calamity's possessing my mother's body, and my mother grows in strength as time goes by. After all that time, Calamity is exponentially more powerful."

"So how do we beat her?" Kairi asked.

"I don't know," Maia admitted. "I'm hoping my sisters have a plan."

XXX

"Sappho catches on quick," Calamity said, watching the viewing ball. She, Hades, Loki, Gant, Lezard, Cartman and Marjoly were in their meeting room, eating lunch.

"I could care less about what happens to Sappho, but Auron is getting under my skin." Hades asked. "But what to do? Breaking his soul didn't work."

"So? Put Guido on it," suggested Gant. "He's a sneaky little shit like you."

"That...might actually work," Hades said. "I'll tell Guido to find them after he comes back from the Seraphic Gate. Is that all right with you, Calamity?"

"Fine by me," Calamity said. "As long as he leaves Sappho alive. Playing around with her is fun, but I've got plans for her. She's an essential bargaining chip."

"Sending her to Academia and Puritanland was funny," Marjoly commented. "But why'd you let her go to Christmas Town to warn them?"

Calamity shrugged. "Give her a little false hope. I'll destroy Christmas Town, but not yet. Business before pleasure, I always say."

XXX

Sora, Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Riku, and the goddesses ventured to the next floor.

A man, clearly human, was standing in front of the stairs. He wore an expensive black suit, silk tie, and dark sunglasses. His black hair was neatly combed. A strange tattoo was visible on his right wrist.

"Who are you?" Riku asked.

The man bowed. "My name is Guido Kandori. I'm the former CEO of the Saeki Electronics and Biological Energy Corporation. I was wondering if you'd do me the honor of being my next opponent."

"Are you a supervillain?" Goofy asked. "Cause you kinda look like one."

"I'm not a supervillain," Guido replied. "I'm an ordinary man, like yourself. Only with a hundred times more money, intelligence, and taste."

"Hundred times more intelligence than Goofy?" Donald snickered. "A hundred times nothing is still nothing!"

"You tell me, Guido," Terpsichore said. "If attempting to destroy your world makes you a supervillain."

"He did that?!" Sora asked.

"He is a heretic," Terpsichore said. "He allied himself with the Lord of Darkness to plunge his world into everlasting darkness."

Guido shrugged. "I would have gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling kids."

"So he was killed by those kids?" Donald asked.

"Yes," Terpsichore explained. "He was resurrected four years later by a group of fanatics, and stopped again. I handled both his deaths."

"What can I say?" Guido said. "You got me, Lady Valkyrie."

"He was brought back to life?" Riku asked. "How?"

"Kotodama," Guido explained. "And of course, the power of my…_patron saint_."

"Patron saint?!" Sora asked. "The Lord of Darkness, whoever he is, hardly sounds saintly!"

"Allow me to introduce you." A glowing blue light surrounded Guido. A mysterious creature appeared above him. It looked like a large, winged gargoyle.

"Thou art I, and I am thou," the thing said in a deep voice. "I come from the sea of thy heart. I am the Crawling Chaos, Nyarlathotep!" A wave of black energy swept across the room, pushing most of the party back.

"What is that thing?!" Riku asked, standing up. He was the only one able to. "I'm getting two different signatures. One's Guido's, the other's..."

"A Persona!" Mickey cried. "It's the strongest one I've ever seen!"

Sora tried to stand up. "Ugh, dark power...it's stronger than Xemnas or Xehanort's Heartless."

"I kinda need you," Riku said. He drew the Way to the Dawn and attempted to hack at Guido, who responded with shots from a semiautomatic pistol.

**Hmm. I wonder if that summon gem Lorne gave us has any use. **Roxas pondered.

Sora reached into his pocket and took out the blue orb. "We could try."

**Since a Persona is just a summon. Fight summons with summons. Or just hit the Persona with its weakness. But Guido's Persona doesn't seem to have any elemental weaknesses from what I can see. **

_How do you know this? _Sora thought.

**Had to fight Persona-users a couple times. They're gifted with strong hearts and wills. So naturally Xemnas wanted them for our Nobody army. **

_Disgusting! _

**Axel and I failed that mission anyway. We found a Persona user, but she was much stronger than us. So try Lorne's present. Unless you want Riku to be like Swiss cheese. **

Sora held the gem to his chest and concentrated. A beautiful blue light surrounded him. Four music notes appeared around him and glowed white. Four cavemen, with matted hair and animal skins, took the place of the music notes. The first had an animal horn, the second a reed of grass, and the third a primitive lyre. The fourth held nothing.

Somehow, their names came to Sora: Toot, Whistle, Plunk, and Boom.

Toot blew into his horn. Whistle blew into his grass. Plunk plunked his lyre. Boom hit his stomach. The music was hardly polished.

"Augh," Guido winced. "That's...so...bad..."

"That's it!" Mickey cried. "A Persona requires concentration to use! Break Guido's concentration..."

"And he's vulnerable!" Donald cried. "Ifrit--"

"Wait, Donald," Urania said. "We can combine our magic."

"Yes!" Clio said. "We can perform Great Magic too. We can fuse three of our spells to make one big one."

"Great," Donald said. "Let's do it."

"Let me help," Polyhymnia said. She waved her wand over Donald. "Spell reinforce!"

"Thanks," Donald replied. "Go ahead."

"Venti, the four gods of the breeze. Heed my call and come to my aid!" Clio cried. "Great Gale!"

"Ye, you shall look upon the calamities of heresy with beclouded eyes!" Urania chanted. "Petro Disruption!"

Donald raised his staff. "I invoke the rites of fiery Muspelheim, and give thy soul up to the inferno's embrace! Ifrit Caress!"

"Tower Inferno!" All three called. A giant pillar of fire enveloped Guido.

When the flames subsided, Guido's expensive suit was scorched and he looked exhausted, but he was still standing. "That might have hurt a lot, if I weren't already dead."

"That wasn't enough to take him out?!" Mickey cried. "Let me try." He levitated himself into the air. "Pearl Rain!" Thousands of Pearl orbs rained down on Guido, who fired at them to dispel them. A few stuck him.

"Very good, Your Majesty." Glowing blue sigils appeared on the ground around Guido. "Now it's my turn. Harken the angel's summon. The true path shall guide you. Find peace in annihilation!"

**Brace yourself, Sora. Great Magic coming up. **Roxas warned.

"Phantom Destruction!" More dark energy surged through the room, knocking everyone except Riku against the walls.

"That seemed like a desperation tactic," Euterpe commented. "He must be getting weak! Let's keep at him!"

Polyhymnia raised her staff. "Mediarahan!" Sora and his party members were healed, including Sora's summons.

Toot, Whistle, Plunk, and Boom kept playing their simple but cacophonous song.

Guido rapidly fired at Toot, Whistle, Plunk, and Boom. They groaned and slumped. Sora quickly dismissed them.

Terpsichore and Erato cowered behind Goofy's shield. Erato fired several shots at Guido. Guido fired at Goofy, whose shield prevented him and his two companions from getting shot. Terpsichore cast a protective shield spell to further augment Goofy's defense.

Mickey hurled his Keyblade at Guido, which struck him in the back of the head. Euterpe stabbed him in the side with her spear.

Sora reached into his pocket. He meant to pull out the thunder magicite, but his hand closed on the dragon charm from Leon. "Come here!"

Fireworks went off around Sora. A giant green dragon materialized in a cloud of smoke.

"Who are you?" Sora asked.

"My name is Elliot," the dragon replied. "I'm a guardian spirit."

"Like Mushu?" Sora asked. "He was a bit smaller than you..."

"Not quite like Mushu. He's more of an ancestral guardian. I help children in need."

"I'm not a child!" Sora snapped.

"You're too young to vote, aren't you?" Elliot retorted. "Come on. Let's finish this. Climb on my back."

Sora hopped on Elliot's back. Elliot flew swiftly, avoiding Guido's shots. Elliot opened his mouth and let out a torrent of fire.

Guido collapsed. He waved a white handkerchief. "I surrender."

"How did you escape the Cesspool?" Terpsichore asked.

"Hades summoned me," Guido answered. "He said Calamity had use for me."

"Hades is involved? Figures," Sora sighed. "I don't think he likes me very much."

"Understatement of this still-young century," Donald said.

"Guido, why did you try to bring darkness on your world?" Riku asked.

"Light has its place in the world. So do shadows," Guido replied. "You of all people should understand."

"It is possible to escape the darkness. You just have to want it."

"It is not easy for one embraced by shadows to escape its grasp."

"Of course it isn't," Riku said. "But you could do it."

"Hmph." Guido shrugged. "I'm not as young as you. I cannot change my nature so easily."

"You know what Nyarlathotep's promises are worth!" Erato said. "Why support him any longer?"

"Wouldn't be the first time a human made a deal with the devil for an empty IOU. And it won't be the last." A darkness portal opened behind Guido. He bowed deeply and stepped backward into it. It closed and faded.

"Bad man..." Goofy commented. "But good manners."

"So, what exactly is a Persona?" Riku asked.

"Personas are parts of a personality that manifest themselves as mythological characters. They're the blessing of Philemon," Mickey explained.

"Except Guido is different," Terpsichore added. "His Persona is a blessing from Philemon's opposite."

"Guido's gone, but the signature from his Persona isn't..." Riku observed. "And it seems to be a lot stronger."

"Exactly. He's near," Euterpe said.

"Who's 'he'?" Sora inquired.

"The Crawling Chaos, Nyarlathotep," Urania said. "No point refusing to say his name now. He's already here. Probably on the floor right below us."

Sora felt a sudden warmth in his pocket. He pulled out the summon gem for Toot, Whistle, Plunk, and Boom. It was hot. It had also changed color from blue to dark purple. As he ran his fingers over it, the music notes appeared. Toot, Whistle, Plunk, and Boom appeared, but they looked starkly different. They looked like modern men – thought they still resembled the earlier cavemen -- and wore modern tuxedos. Toot held a polished trumpet, Whistle a silver flute, and Plunk a violin. Boom was dressed in a black hooded cloak and carried a scythe.

"Well, it isn't Toot, Whistle, Plunk, and Doom," joked Erato.

XXX

Lionel's front door opened. Jecht came in. "I couldn't find Maia Pleiades anywhere. I went to the camera shop, but Gordon wasn't there either."

"Hmm," Lionel mused. "Kairi told me that Sora and Riku went camping somewhere."

"Both of them disappearing, Chappu reappearing...could it be coincidence?" Jecht asked.

"Let's not jump to conclusions," Lionel said. "Maybe they went into town. I'll just wait."

"So why did you want me to find the Pleiades?" Jecht asked.

"I wanted to apologize to them before I died."

"You won't die."

"Let's not kid ourselves. I feel it in my bones. I feel it in the air. I don't have much time."

XXX

Sora, King Mickey, and their friends descended the stairs to the tenth floor. There was a raised platform in the center of the floor.

Roxas…or at least, it looked like Roxas, stood on the platform. He was dressed in the familiar Organization cloak.

The Roxas thing walked silently towards them, the Oblivion Keyblade materializing in his left hand.

**That's not me, Sora. You have to believe me. It isn't me…look, the Keyblade's in the wrong hand! I always carried the Oblivion in my right hand! **

"That isn't Roxas," Sora said.

"There's a high amount of dark energy coming from that thing," Riku said. "It's not a Nobody, and it's not human. It's identical to the signature Guido's persona put out."

The Roxas Imposter reached the foot of the stairs.

"Figures you'd take that form, Nyarlathotep." Euterpe said. "It suits you indeed."

"Thanks," Nyarlathotep said. "I like it myself. A little on the plump side though."

**How many times do I have to tell people I'm not fat?! **Roxas whined.

"Why did you take that form?" Riku asked.

"My true form isn't humanoid," Nyarlathotep replied. "I felt a human form would be more comfortable for you."

"Can't you show us anyway?" Riku asked.

"You'd lose your lunch. Seriously."

Riku growled. "Change forms. Please."

"Why? Because Roxas outdrew you? Or because he's a twisted version of your friend? The friend that you're insanely jealous of?"

"You're two games too late to be tugging on that thread," Riku said.

"Excuse me?" Nyarlathotep asked.

Riku shrugged. "I used to be jealous of Sora, but I'm not anymore."

"That's not what you told Maleficent."

"You…saw that?" Riku asked incredulously.

"So you've been spying on us, yada yada yada," Urania interrupted. "Now why don't you run crying to your mommy like the pathetic little bastard you are?"

"I'm afraid I can't do that," Nyarlathotep replied. "You're all trying to kill my mommy. That is enough reason to strike out against you. You also beat up my little friend."

"Guido?" Riku snorted. "He's more your personal slave than a friend."

"Do you pity him?" Nyarlathotep asked. "Why don't you put yourself in his shoes, Riku Beechwood?"

"I did wear Guido's shoes," Riku said. "I didn't like them, so I took them off."

"Why?" Sora asked.

Riku gave a small smirk. "Cause they were killing me."

Nyarlathotep shrugged. "Guido was like you, Riku Beechwood. He desired power. And I was willing to give it to him. Through him, I helped the humans in that pathetic world realize their wish for annihilation."

"Your help got him killed...twice," Terpsichore snarled. "You don't help humans at all. You just travel from world to world causing mischief! It was through your help that Maleficent amassed so many Heartless!"

Nyarlathotep smirked. He transmuted into Riku, only with blazing yellow eyes as opposed to blue. "Humans are such sinful creatures. I am merely a mirror of their baser urges, just as my mother is."

"Mother?" Sora asked. "Who's your mother?"

"You don't know?" Nyarlathotep jeered. "Oblivia."

"What?!" Donald and Goofy gasped.

Nyarlathotep turned into a likeness of Xehanort. "Kore stabbed my mother. Darkness poured out of her pierced heart. I was born out of that darkness. Kore would have destroyed me, had she and Mnemosyne not been preoccupied with controlling the immense energy that was also released from my mother's body."

"Change forms, please," Donald complained.

"Would you rather I changed into something cuter?" Nyarlathotep turned into Mickey.

"No!" Donald and Goofy snapped.

"That's hardly...frightening," Mickey said.

"Oh, really? Need I remind you who I am, Mouse King?" Nyarlathotep reverted to his Roxas form and snapped his fingers. "I can make nightmares reality...and your reality a nightmare."

Hundreds of infant mice in blue rompers appeared. "Hello, Pop!"

Mickey gasped. "No..no...NOOOOOOO!" He backed away.

The baby mice ran forward. They bounced off the wall and tugged at Mickey's clothes.

Mickey staggered into a wall. "No...it was just a dream! _It was just a dream! A dream! You don't scare me!" _Giant sweat drops rolled down his face. "No! Go away!" Mickey passed out.

"The King's biggest fear is baby mice?!" Sora asked incredulously.

Riku kicked aside one of the mice. "Make them go away, _please_!"

"They're so adorable, though," Nyarlathotep said.

"We can get past you," Sora said confidently. He drew his Keyblade.

**Tell him to take off my face! **Roxas whined. **He's getting it ugly! **

"I can hear you, Roxas," Nyarlathotep said calmly. "All too clearly."

"So if you were born out of the darkness in Calamity's heart, does that make you a Heartless?" Goofy asked.

Riku looked shocked. "Did Goofy just make a clever observation?"

"Hmph, I am darkness," Nyarlathotep said. "Which makes me forever tied to the Heartless. I can extract hearts like they can. I honestly thought personally removing the heart from the Princess of Life would guarantee that Maleficent's efforts to open the final keyhole would fail. Had the Keyhole remained incomplete, it would be impossible to seal. I should have stolen all seven hearts...ugh, hindsight."

"You stole Kairi's heart?!" Sora cried. "How...how dare you!"

"Um, instead of yelling at me, why don't take a look at the King?" Nyarlathotep pointed behind Sora.

The baby mice continued to swarm Mickey, squeaking. They pulled his ears, tore his clothes, even bit him.

"They're...eeeevillllll!" Mickey moaned. He was curled up in the fetal position and shaking.

"This is the mouse who destroyed Tyrant Baal once and for all?" Nyarlathotep asked. "Methinks Mickey Mouse's power was overrated! Honestly, it's just pathetic. You're...you're embarrassing me! I'll fight you later!" He vanished in a puff of black smoke.

"Well...that was lucky," Goofy said.

"Too lucky," Euterpe commented. "He's up to something. He was under orders to keep us from the Dainslef...most likely by Calamity."

"Think he stole it?" Riku suggested.

"Nah. Nyarlathotep would have rubbed it in our faces if he had," Erato reasoned. "Something made him leave."

"He's not physically human," Riku commented. "But he's still human in spirit. That arrogance, the way he looks down on others. It's something only humans can do."

XXX

At Castle Oblivion, Hades was currently yelling at Guido. "I told you to stop Sora! What part of that didn't you understand?!"

Guido got down on his knees. "Please accept my humblest apologies, Lord Hades."

Nyarlathotep, still in the form of Roxas, appeared. "Don't be so hard on him, Hades. You couldn't win against Sora either."

"Who asked you?!" Hades snapped.

Nyarlathotep smirked. "So what's your excuse?"

"Main character power," Hades said. "And if he gets the Dainslef, I'll hold you personally responsible. I don't care if you are Calamity's kid!"

"We'll probably go to Plan B on that one," Nyarlathotep said. "I found something in the Seraphic Gate that is far more important to us." He pulled out said object.

Guido arched an eyebrow.

Hades flared red. "Get that thing away from me!"

XXX

Sora and his friends arrived on the Seraphic Gate's eleventh floor.

A young-looking woman stood before the party. Her dark red hair was gathered up in two ponytails. She wore a leather brassiere shaped like a bat and a short leather skirt. Her eyes were large and bright red. A small pair of bat-like wings were on her back.

**Oh, holy crap! Sora, run. Don't chat her up, don't look her in the eye. Just run! **

_Why? She doesn't look so bad. _

**She might look sweet and cute, but trust me…**

"Excuse me," the woman said. "But you're Sora, aren't you?"

"Yes," Sora said. "How do you know my name?"

"How could I possibly forget? You're the bastard who killed my boyfriend!" She drew a spear that dwarfed even Euterpe's.

"I don't mean to argue with you, but I'm not going to apologize for something I have no memory of!" Sora said. "I don't know you, and I don't know your boyfriend. You've got the wrong guy."

**No, she doesn't. Her name is Etna. She hails from the Netherworld. And you knew her boyfriend as ****Saïx****…**

"What?!" Sora asked. "Saïx?"

"That's not his real name," Etna said. "But you don't care, seeing as you pretended to forget him."

"But he killed a lot of innocent people!" Sora protested. "And destroyed a lot of worlds! I had to kill him to protect…"

"You think I care about that?" Etna asked. "I'm a freaking demon!"

"Um," Sora said, starting to back away. "Would you accept a letter of apology?"

Etna glared. "He and I were going to get married once he got back to normal! I had the wedding planned and everything! I even booked the chapel, ordered the flowers, and hired the caterer. You denied me my dreams, and you want to just write me a letter?!"

**Now would be a good time to RUN, you idiot! I'd do it myself, but I can't control the body…**

"Um, I'll reimburse you for your wedding stuff deposits," Sora said nervously. "Just don't hurt me."

"I only want one thing," Etna said, her voice getting louder. "Your head! I don't care about our level difference. I'm going to beat the living crap out of you!"

"Level difference?" Sora asked.

Etna pulled up a screen. It read:

_Etna/Beauty Queen_

_LV 1000_

_Sora/Keyblade Master _

_LV 99_

_Goofy/Captain of the Guard_

_LV 99 _

_Donald/Black Mage_

_LV 99_

_Riku/Keyblade Master_

_LV 99_

_Mickey Mouse/King_

_LV 500_

_Euterpe/Battle Maiden_

_LV 1000_

_Clio/The Historian_

_LV 600_

_Urania/The Oracle_

_LV 600_

_Terpsichore/Lady of the Light Feet_

_LV 500_

_Erato/Guardian of the Heart_

_LV 500_

_Polyhymnia/Keeper of the Sacred_

_LV 500_

"There must be a mistake," Sora said. "And Your Majesty, why is your level five times mine? I can understand the goddesses, since they're...goddesses."

Mickey looked away and whistled.

Strange music began to play.

"The Etna Boogie?" Urania asked. "This looks like a textbook case of Kefka's Law."

"Kefka's Law?" repeated Goofy.

"Whenever you hear a bad guy's theme music before a fight, that boss is going to be a pain," Urania explained. "There's also the Sephiroth Corollary: if the bad guy in question is a cameo from another game, _run away very fast_."

"Is she from another game?" Riku asked.

Etna handed him a piece of paper. "My resume."

Riku glanced over the paper. "Let's see. Disgaea: Hour of Darkness. Phantom Brave. Makai Kingdom. Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories. Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness. An anime series and several comic books based on the Disgaea games. OK, we're in trouble."

"At least she's alone," Clio said.

"Am I, now?" Etna smirked and pulled out a cell phone. "Come out, Prinny Squad." Nothing happened. Etna scowled. "I said, get your feathered fannies over here!"

"We're coming, Master Etna!" A crowd of penguin-like creatures ran in.

"So what if you have a Prinny army?" Erato asked. "Sora doesn't have anything to fear from a flat-chested fornicatress like you!"

Etna kicked a random Prinny, which flew up through ten ceilings and into orbit. "You did not just go there!"

"Now you've done it, dood!" Another Prinny said.

"Yeah, say your prayers, dood!" added another Prinny.

To Be Continued


	11. To the Last Drop of My Blood

Addendum to the Disclaimer: Damon Gant and other Phoenix Wright characters are © Capcom. All Persona characters are © Atlus. Marjoly, Etna, Mid-Boss and all other Disgaea-universe characters are © Nippon Ichi. Eric Cartman is © Trey Parker and Matt Stone. All Valkyrie Profile characters are © Tri-Ace. A song parody that appears later is © Pete Abrams. You'll know it when you see it.

"So how would you like your death?" Etna asked. "Sunny side up or scrambled?"

"I don't want to die," Sora said. "I like being alive."

"If you don't want to die," Etna replied. "Then don't piss me off. And killing my boyfriend pisses me off!" She leaped into the air. "Sexy Beam!" She remained levitated in the air and posed as columns of bright red energy fell down on the party.

"OK, that stung a little," Mickey said.

"My eyes hurt," whined Terpsichore.

"If you're going to use an attack called 'Sexy Beam', why can't you be hot?" Riku asked, getting up and dusting himself off. "Like Erato?"

Erato blushed.

Etna dropped down to the ground and smirked. "Let's see how pretty she is when I'm done with her!" She darted toward Erato.

Quick as lightning, Erato drew her gun and rapidly fired rounds. Etna jumped back with a yelp.

"The Etoile? Did you spend two hundred hours in the Item World getting that?" Etna asked. She levitated herself again, preparing for another "Sexy Beam."

"Oh, no, you don't!" Terpsichore cried, pirouetting. "Dance of Protection!" An array of protective shields made of colored hexagonal cells appeared around the party.

Problem was, even with the shields, Etna's blows were still causing a lot of damage. As she stabbed each party member with her spear, the shields would shatter. Polyhymnia had to cast healing spells at a rapid rate, with Erato and Clio assisting, in a desperate attempt to keep the party from falling before Etna's ferocious assault. Donald and Urania's counterattack magic seemed to be doing minimal damage.

The flock of crazed, knife-happy penguins fighting side by side with Etna did nothing to help matters. Wave after wave of exploding murderous fowl charged the party, waving their serrated steak knives, lobbing bombs, and shouting "Dood!" to the point where it became annoying.

"Dood?" Riku could hardly believe his ears. "That's the lamest battle cry since The Tick."

A Prinny had an expression that was a mix of uncertainty and fear. "Give up yet, dood? Cause you can't reason with Master Etna when she's mad."

Another Prinny bobbed its head up and down in agreement. "Yeah, dood!"

"She has to have some weakness," Donald reasoned wishfully.

"Nope," Etna said cheerfully. "Only way to hurt me is if you were at least a hundred levels ahead of me. At least _a hundred levels._ Now take this! Oh, Prinny plague and Prinny parade...Prinny Raid!"

Several Prinnies sputtered. Smoke spouted from below them. Somehow, they managed to launch themselves like rockets. They flew through the air and crashed to the ground in massive red explosions.

Etna laughed maniacally. "I love making things go kablooey!"

"We're being carpet-bombed by exploding penguins!" Riku observed. "Can this get any stupider?!"

"Yoink!" Clio grabbed a Prinny that hadn't exploded yet and hurled it at Etna. "Prinny explosions go both ways!"

The hapless Prinny detonated in a cloud of green smoke and purple fire.

When the smoke cleared, Etna stared out from under a layer of caked soot. "I love it when things go kablooey...but not when it's me! Prinny Raid!"

The remaining Prinnies stopped whatever they were doing. They sputtered, like the previous bunch, launched themselves in the air, and crashed kamikaze-style into the party, along with a bunch of metal pie tins.

"Mediarahan!" Polyhymnia cried. The party members were surrounded by a beautiful green light that healed all their wounds.

Seizing upon an idea, Sora drew the thunder magicite from his pocket "Alex!"

Etna stared forward, mouth open, as Alex materialized amidst the cacophony of a flurry of thunder. "Alexander, God of Destruction?!" She checked her pop-up status screen and yelped in dismay: "Level 1200?! You've got to be kidding me!"

"Didn't you say 'at least a hundred levels'?" Mickey asked.

"Yeah, she did!" Goofy said. "A-hyuck!"

For the first time since the fight began, Etna looked nervous.

"You remember me, Etna?" Alex asked. "We sat side-by-side at the roast for King Drake III."

Etna glared at Sora. "How dare you summon an Overlord on me! How can you even summon a demon?! I thought you only stuck with sappy little Disney fuzzballs like Bambi and Dumbo!" She levitated herself again, frowned, and prepared another attack. "Chaos Impact!" Dark orbs of energy appeared in the air, growing from the size of golf balls to the size of Marlon Brando in his later years. They fell to the ground; leaving giant, smoky craters.

Alex yawned, not even flinching as the attack glanced harmlessly off. His voice almost sounded bored as he announced his next move: "Vanishing Bolt!" Sparks of lightning gathered between his fists, coalescing into an expanding orb of pulsing electricity. When it reached four feet in diameter, he threw it at the still airborne Etna. She let out a scream as it collided with her, bursting into a kaleidoscopic array of darting electrical beams, and she crashed to the ground.

Alex smirked. "Ha! You call yourself a contender for Overlord status?"

Smoldering and fuming, Etna climbed to her feet, looking rather worn-out and tired. To her horror, she found her joints still and her fingers unresponsive; she could barely move. "I...lost? This sucks!" She turned to slink off.

"Where are you going?" Riku asked.

"Where else?" Etna asked. "I'm going back to the Netherworld to level-grind so I'm ten times as powerful as before." She cracked her knuckles. "I'll make you sorry you ever met me! And I will laugh and laugh and laugh!" With a flash of demonic light, she vanished into thin air.

"I guess my work is done," Alex said cheerfully "Call me again soon. That was fun." He vanished much the same way as Etna had

As the party gathered themselves to move on to the next ordeal, Sora spied something shiny on the floor where Etna had disappeared. "Etna left something behind," Sora said, picking up a shiny silver gauntlet. "There's something engraved here on the back of it: 'Makai Wars.'"

"Sora!" Donald said. "I just remembered something. About Kefka's Law."

"What?" Sora asked, tilting his head quizzically.

"Gant had ominous organ music!"

"That's never a good sign." Sora sighed.

**At least he's mortal,** Roxas said.

_Roxas, if Etna was a demon, does that mean Saïx was too? _

**Of course he was. When you spoke to him, did he seem human at any point? **

_No, not really. Didn't know demons could turn into Nobodies, though. _

**Heartless don't discriminate. **

XXX

Hades and his lackey were in the middle of a lounge in Castle Oblivion.

The room was monochromatically decorated. The walls, furniture, and drapes were pristine white. The air was still and cold.

"I've got a job for you, Guido," Hades said. "Bring back Auron, the cranky stiff with the pretentious sunglasses and oversized sword. Yeah, there's a statement for a Square character to make. 'Hi, I'm a hero, and this is my weapon, the giant sword.' As seen in_ everything! _Oh, and don't hurt Sappho. Avoid that at all costs."

"Capture the Paradox?" Guido asked. "As you wish, my lord."

"You of all people ought to have some sympathy for a half dead paradox. Geez, the only better example I can think of is my very own little pet schnookems, Schroedinger's cat. Man, I'll never forget the day half of that cat showed up in the underworld." Hades turned his face to the camera. "Or _did it_? Anyway, Team Hero is currently in a not-so-posh vacation spot called Mundania." Hades dug a slip of crumpled paper from the pocket of his chiton and handed it to Guido. "Make sure you give Tall, Dark, and Grouchy this message."

Guido nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Don't fail me this time. I really don't want to go back to sending Pain and Panic. At least with you, I can get my hopes up."

XXX

Meanwhile, back in Mundania, Kairi and her party sat huddled around the center of an abandoned campsite. There was a pile of wood in the middle, presumably for a campfire, and a pitched tent. A few large trees flanked the southern edge of the clearing, their leaves swaying back and forth rhythmically in a light breeze. From the north came the soothing music of the rushing of a small stream.

Despite the gentle scenery, Maia felt uneasy. "There's a latent dead here," she said. "I want to send it to the Astral Plane before we go."

"Why?" Kairi asked.

"The latent dead can exert negative influence on the living. My sisters would go out and find them before they can hurt anybody. The spirits of dead children are especially dangerous, since they don't comprehend the finality of death."

"So this is a sending?" Auron asked.

"Sending? That's what you call it? You also called Kolyada an 'aeon'. Those are extremely archaic terms," Maia mused. "You're far older than I am."

"I guess it makes sense," Kairi said. "We've all seen _Poltergeist_."

Maia sensed something, something alive, and raised her staff. "Is anyone here?"

A patch of fog appeared and took the form of an old woman. It was Pleione, wrapped in a tattered hospital gown. Long white hair spilled down her back. She looked extremely thin. Her face was a relief map of wrinkles. Even white and translucent, it was clear that she suffered from a serious disease prior to death.

"Mother?" Maia asked, her voice shaking. "What are you...?"

"That insane asylum you sent me to?" Pleione lectured. "It was a horrible place. The pain and anguish I experienced there has permitted me to linger after my death. I achieved my final wish, to see my grandson, but it brought me no peace."

"Sora!" Maia cried. "If you hurt my son, I'll..."

"He's perfectly fine. He seemed to dislike me, though. It hurts here." Pleione pointed towards her heart. "But you're not Maia. My Maia wouldn't threaten to kill me. She wouldn't hurt anyone. But you can't do a thing about it now, can you? I'm already dead!"

"Auron, what are you waiting for?" Gordon cried, pointing a shaky finger at the ghost. "Annihilate her already!"

Auron slashed at Pleione with his sword. It went right through. "This could be a problem."

"Use the camera," Kairi suggested.

"A camera?" Gordon asked. "I thought ghosts couldn't appear in photographs."

"Well, it works in Fatal Frame!" Kairi snapped.

"You're putting all your faith in a video game?" Auron asked incredulously.

Gordon raised his camera. "Well, say cheese, oh-mother-in-law."

Pleione blinked as the shutter went off. "Well, that was pointless." She raised her arm, and Gordon, Kairi, and Auron found themselves pinned against a large tree by some invisible telekinetic force. "Any weapon is useless against me," Pleione taunted.

"Man, why couldn't we end up in the Ghostbusters world?" Gordon asked, struggling to move. Pleione's telekinesis held them fast.

"Mother, stop it!" Maia screamed.

"When I met your son, he was with one of the Valkyries. She sent me to the Astral Plane. But there was nothing to stop me from leaking back to the Material Plane. And I decided to finish you myself. You're sick, Maia. You have a demon that's overtaken your will. You're possessed, and I was the only one who knew. You failed my foolproof demonic possession tests. My holy symbol burned your hand, and you flinched when I threw holy water in your face."

"You are insane," Auron said simply. "How could such ridiculous ideas consume you so?"

"I tried exorcism," Pleione continued, ignoring Auron. "But that didn't work. I know demons can't feel pain in their natural forms, and aren't used to feeling pain when they're in mortal skins. So I tried using pain to make the demon leave. But it was just so stubborn. It wouldn't leave. The only thing left was to kill you, Maia, and free your soul. I hesitated back then. Not anymore. I know my real daughter died long ago, or has gone insane."

"Gone insane? Look who's talking!" Kairi snapped.

"I want you to reveal yourself, before I kill you," Pleione said.

"Reveal myself?" Maia asked.

"Show me your true form! Show your husband and friends why it has to be done! Why I have to lose my daughter."

"I'm not your daughter," Maia hissed, stepping forward. "The Memory Queen, Mnemosyne, is my mother."

"Blasphemy!" Pleione roared. She sent Maia flying backward. The tent's pegs came out of the ground and pinned Maia's ankles and wrists to the packed dirt. "Come on, you bitch! You filthy, crawling, unnatural _BITCH! Show yourself_!"

"**Maia, use your own power!" **Naminé called.

"That's right. She's just a soul," Gordon added.

"Show her who's boss," Auron advised.

"But I'm just as terrible a person," Maia said. "Wouldn't that be hypocritical?"

"You remember our last confrontation?" Pleione asked. "I covered you in gasoline because I wanted to be merciful. But that was my undoing, as I couldn't light the fire. I couldn't bear the thought of my baby suffering. But you took her from me, didn't you! Disgusting, dirty devil!"

"How dare you!" Gordon snarled.

"You'll thank me for this, Gordon Pleiades," Pleione replied. "This demon denied you the joy of being with my daughter. It took the joy of seeing my daughter get married. It took my freedom. And it caused the cancer that took my life." A knife appeared out of seemingly nowhere and dangled in mid-air above Maia. "The outdoorsman who left this site went fishing. He forgot this hunting knife. I'm sure he won't mind me borrowing it. Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to remove chunks of flesh from your mortal skin one by one until you leave my daughter's body. I'd advise you to leave before the pain becomes agonizing. And don't even try to possess any of the other people here. I'll kill them too. I'll kill them all!"

"Why?" Kairi asked. "Why do you think Maia's possessed?"

"When I first noticed, she seemed very depressed and listless. She wasn't herself." Pleione explained, turning to face Kairi. "But there's a tell that's really obvious now."

"What's that?" Kairi asked, hoping to stall Pleione.

"Look at how perfect her skin is. Not a wrinkle in sight. No age spots. No scars. She's a little overweight, but otherwise she's unnaturally pretty. Daughters tend to age similarly to their mothers. Do you think I looked that good at forty-four? I don't think so!" Pleione said.

"I'm thirty nine," Maia said. _One hundred sixty nine would be more accurate, but she doesn't know that. _

"You're forty-four. Stop lying about your age." Pleione snapped. "And my baby would never get plastic surgery, so Botox and face lifts are out. The only explanation for this delay of the aging process is that something that ages slower than humans is in her body. And if that weren't enough, here's the clincher. She's clearly afraid."

"Why shouldn't she be afraid of you?" Auron asked.

Pleione smirked. "If she were not possessed and truly innocent, then she need not fear me."

While Pleione was occupied, Maia closed her eyes and concentrated. The knife began to quiver in midair. A crack appeared on the blade and widened as the knife shook violently. Finally, the blade shattered, tiny pieces of steel sprinkling to the ground.

Pleione turned around. "I knew it! I knew it! I was right! Hear me, universe! I was right!"

Maia raised her arms, popping the pegs that held them. She groaned in pain as she sat up. Blood soaked her white gloves and stockings.

"So you reveal your true power at last," Pleione said. "No mortal could do that."

Maia picked up a nearby rock. "Confine!"

"What are you doing?!" Pleione cried as a flash of light enveloped her. "Maia! NOOOOOOOOOO!" She faded away like a newspaper left in the sun.

Auron, Kairi, and Gordon were released from the tree.

"What just happened?" Kairi asked.

Maia held up the stone. "I confined her soul into this rock. Souls can be bound to objects. And they're unconscious and resting if they are." She threw the rock into the stream. "When this is over, I'll tell my sisters where it is. They'll deal with her. I don't want her anywhere near me."

"Are you okay?" Gordon asked.

"I'm fine," Maia replied. "I'm somewhat...relieved, if you can believe that. I put Sora in danger, but at least I'm trying to make it right. That's more than I can say for her. And if she killed me, you'd die too, Gordon. I don't want that." Maia stood on her tiptoes and kissed Gordon on the cheek. "Well, shall we go? There's a town just beyond the stream. I'm catching another large magic signature. It's not a Keyblade, but it might be worth looking into. I need to buy some new gloves and stockings anyway."

XXX

Back at Castle Oblivion, Calamity's deputies had been eating popcorn while they watched Pleione and her subsequent defeat.

"Calamity, not to question your judgment, but was it really that smart to sabotage Sappho's teleportation spell to put her in the field of that ghost?" Marjoly asked. "The ghost was crying for her blood, and don't you need Sappho alive for now?"

Calamity shrugged. "I knew she'd prevail, if only to save that worthless loser she calls a husband. I said I wanted to have fun with Sappho a little bit before I met her. And isn't dredging up her mommy issues fun?"

"You should make her eat her daddy," suggested Cartman.

Loki looked around. "You hear something, like a buzzing?"

"Hey!" Cartman snapped.

"Yes. It's quite irritating," Lezard said.

Cartman looked even more annoyed. "You will respect my authoritah!"

Kefka laughed shrilly. "You already said that!"

Cartman made a face. "Screw you guys! I'm going home!" Snoops wheeled in a cart of desserts. "OK, maybe I'll stay for the free food."

XXX

The Keybearers and their friends advanced to the twelfth floor.

Someone was already there. He was vaguely humanoid, with brown, leathery skin. He wore a green vest and dark pants. Sharp, pointed nails, almost like talons, tipped his fingers. Dark hair stuck out in spikes that reminded Sora in some odd way of Axel's hairstyle. Beneath a set of scraggly eyebrows peered a pair of eyes most inhumanly red.

"Brahms, Lord of the Undead." Euterpe drew her spear. "You who desecrate this sacred ground, you shall find no refuge here!"

"That's Brahms?!" Mickey asked. "The King of Vampires?"

Brahms looked at Euterpe coolly. "What have I done to offend you, Lady Euterpe?"

"Is that supposed to be a joke?" Euterpe demanded. "Your subjects are out all night, killing people! It would be morally wrong to just sit there and do nothing!"

"And it is morally right to commit genocide?" Brahms asked. "Just because you're a goddess, are you by definition right all the time?"

"Of course I'm wrong sometimes," Euterpe replied. "But you're a threat. Even now, you're interrupting the mission of the Keybearers."

"The Keybearers are siding with you?" Brahms asked.

"Yeah!" Mickey said. "So does that mean you side with Calamity?"

"Calamity? Of course not," Brahms said. "She is a tyrant. And I refuse to side with any god." Brahms raised his left hand. He began to glow. A blue beam shot from his hand and struck Euterpe, knocking her backward. Her spear fell from her hand and clattered on the ground. Beautiful sheets of blue crystal surrounded Euterpe and expanded, meeting and glowing at their edges. Within minutes, Euterpe was frozen in a block of what looked like light blue ice. Her arms hung limply at her sides, and her eyes were closed.

Sora gasped. "What did you do?"

"A simple imprisonment spell," Brahms said. "Quite effective on goddesses. She's asleep and unconscious inside, so she's not in any pain."

Sora raised his Keyblade. "Strike..."

"If you're thinking of breaking that crystal, she'll die," Brahms said.

"Break it, Sora!" Urania cried. "He's bluffing!"

"Yeah. Breaking it is the only way to free her. He's not going to let her go!" Clio added.

Sora looked down at his Keyblade. "But how can I be sure he's not lying?"

"Don't you trust us more than him?" Terpsichore said.

"I just don't want to take that risk," Sora said.

"Then allow us," Erato raised her gun. Urania took out her orb. Clio drew her bow.

"You're not going to kidnap our sister," Terpsichore snapped, a pair of silver gauntlets decorated with blue sigils appearing on her hands. "Now release her!"

Brahms fired several more crystallization beams in rapid succession, freezing Erato, Urania, Terpsichore, and Clio. He turned toward Polyhymnia and aimed in her direction.

"Reflega!" Polyhymnia cried. The beam bounced off a protective shield and flew back at Brahms, who leaped out of the way.

"What do you plan to do with them?" Riku asked. "They're no use to you in these giant crystals."

"I suppose I could start a collection," Brahms said. "Silmeria is a bit lonely."

"You monster!" Riku snapped, looking at Erato in her crystal. She looked peaceful, yet sickly. Almost like a coma patient. "How can you look at yourself in the mirror every morning?!"

"Vampires have no reflection," Goofy said. "So how could he?"

"Let them go, Brahms," Polyhymnia said. "Please." She moved toward Brahms and kneeled before him. "I beg you. We'll leave you alone, I give you my word." She began to sob.

Brahms' expression softened. He reached out to pat Polyhymnia on the shoulder. "Perhaps I was too hasty. There, there. Dry your eyes."

Polyhymnia flinched. "Don't touch me!"

Brahms leaped back. "So you really are disgusted by me. Very well. You've chosen this fate." He grabbed Polyhymnia by her neck. Light blue energy flowed over her, freezing her.

Riku drew his Keyblade. "We're not leaving without them. So let them go!"

"I heard you had a strong sense of honor," Mickey said. "How is crystallizing a helpless goddess honorable?"

Brahms shrugged. "If you really want them back, I'm willing to release them."

"Let me guess..." Riku said. "We have to beat the snot out of you first."

"Correct. Five against one is good odds for you."

**Isn't it six of us? **Roxas whined. **Or do I not count? **

"Fine," Sora said, forgetting to think instead of speak. "There's six of us."

Brahms looked at Sora quizzically. "Who are you talking to?"

"Nobody," Sora quickly said.

**Try **_**your**_** Nobody, genius. **Sora smacked the back of his head. **Ouch. **

Brahms levitated the six crystals and set them on the stairs that led out of the room. "So we don't risk breaking them in our duel." A barrier materialized in front of the staircase.

"Now feel the power of darkness! Bloody Curse!" Brahms charged Riku and slashed at him over and over with his claws.

Riku sank to the ground, his hair so streaked with blood that it looked dark red.

"Riku!" Sora ran toward Riku.

"I'll handle this," Mickey said. "You distract Brahms!" Mickey raised his Keyblade. "Healing Light!" Pulses of white light flowed over Riku, closing his wounds and replenishing his health.

Goofy desperately held up his shield while Brahms swiped at it. Donald stood behind Brahms, rapidly casting fire spells – only they seemed to bounce right off him.

Sora reached into his pocket and pulled out the thunder magicite. "Al--"

**WAIT! **

_What is it now, Roxas? Can't you see I need to summon? _

**If you summon, he'll just use that imprisonment spell. I think he wants you to use your own strength. **

_So what can I do? We're getting creamed. _

**The new form Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather gave you, duh. **

_But I haven't even tested it! _

**It's strong. I can feel its power from in here. It surpasses even Final Form. **

"So Final Form is about as final as Final Fant..."

**Shh! We don't talk about that.**

Sora took out the white crystal. "All right..." He raised the crystal. "Give me strength!"

A brilliant flash of light filled the room, blinding everyone. Donald and Goofy vanished.

Sora's clothes turned completely white: his shirt, pants, jacket, belt, and fingerless gloves. His crown necklace remained in place, but shone as though it had been recently polished. He held the Ultima Weapon in his right hand, and the Fenrir in his left. A pair of tall, white, feathery wings protruded from his back and gave off an iridescent radiance. He was also floating three feet in the air.

"Sora…?" Riku asked. "Is that you?"

Brahms stared, open-mouthed. "Soul channeling?! How can a mere child wield the power of a god?!"

"Riku..." Mickey whispered. "Don't you think those wings look just like Euterpe's?"

"Yeah, now that you mention it..." Riku agreed.

Sora raised his hand. A spell seal appeared under him. "Ye of detestable name and virtue, false apostle, thou art bade back to the abyss! Seraphic Law!"

A brilliant spear of yellow light impaled Brahms. He let out a howl of pain.

Sora took this opportunity to leap at Brahms and slash at him with both Keyblades. He sent Brahms flying across the room, only to teleport behind him and slash him again. Over and over, he used a multi-hit combo, threw Brahms across the room, then teleported and repeated the process. Finally, he slammed Brahms over the head and sent him tumbling to the ground.

"Please…stop…" Brahms said.

"Let them go," Sora said, keeping both Keyblades raised.

"You honored your part of the bargain, so I shall honor mine," Brahms said. The crystals surrounding the six goddesses dissolved, as well as the barrier. "They're just sleeping. They'll wake up in a few minutes."

The Keyblades vanished from Sora's hands with a shimmer. The glow emanating from his body dulled, and suddenly Sora's clothes returned to black, blue, and red. Goofy and Donald reappeared. Mickey and Riku also withdrew their Keyblades.

"You're not going to kill me?" Brahms said.

"Not really," Sora said. "You let the girls go. As long as you don't get in my way."

"Even though I kidnapped your charges?"

Sora shrugged. "You don't really seem like a bad guy, Brahms. I'm not going to kill you unless I have to."

"You could actually kill me, if you wanted." Brahms shook his head. "That sheer power…boy, are you really a human?"

"Of course I am," Sora replied. "You just underestimate the power of the human spirit."

"But that can't be," Brahms said. "That was a divine technique…"

"Sora is definitely human!" Riku interrupted.

"Yeah!" Donald said.

"I see," Brahms said, though his tone indicated he wasn't so sure. "I am certain we will meet again. I bid you farewell." He vanished into a darkness portal.

"Brahms forgot something," Sora said. Where Brahms had vanished, there remained a large, black shield with seven golden stars emblazoned on it.

"Or left it behind," Goofy said. "Why didn't he use it? It's a very nice shield."

"It's the Star Guard," Mickey said. "A legendary shield that is said to counterattack any hit with a stream of light sparks. Maybe he thought using it would make an unfair advantage?"

"Let's test it." Riku took a one-munny piece out of his pocket and tossed it at the shield.

Sparks of light flew from the shield. One struck the munny and sent it flying back at Riku; it hit him in the face.

"Ouch." Riku winced.

"A shield to repel all," Sora commented. "Here you go, Goofy."

"You mean it?" Goofy asked. "You don't want to keep it for yourself? Since you usually only have one Keyblade?"

"It's a great shield," Sora said. "But you need it more." He pointed to Goofy's Save the King shield, which had several small indentations from Guido's bullets, claw marks courtesy of Brahms, and a giant dent from when Kain had slammed into it with his Cosmic Spear attack.

"Gawrsh, thanks," Goofy said, taking the beautiful shield.

"I'm curious about that new form," Mickey said. "'Seraphic Law' is a Great Magic holy spell. I guess absorbing Donald made his ability to cast Great Magic carry over to you. But how could you teleport?"

"Hmm..." Sora mused. "That's right. I've never been able to teleport before. All I had to do was think of where I wanted to be next – like behind Brahms – and suddenly I was there."

"What's this new form called?" Goofy asked.

"Judgment Form," Sora replied.

"Fitting," Riku said.

XXX

In Mundania, Kairi and her party reached the small town of Pepperland. They traveled down Main Street. Quaint little shops with silly names like the Curl Up and Dye Hair Salon, Speed-E-Mart, and Potions N' Things lined the streets, along with an accessory shop called Baubles, Bangles, and Beyond and an armor shop named Arms N' Armor.

"Too bad we can't stay longer," Kairi said, looking longingly at the stores. "Can we eat after this?" She indicated some restaurants mixed with the stores. "The Happy Octopus? Sir Donald's? Captain P's? Taco Hell? Er, maybe we should pass on that one..."

Maia sighed. "Stopping to eat while your boyfriend is walking to his death again? What kind of a girlfriend are you?"

"I spent several days in a coma a year ago! I don't want to repeat that if I faint from hunger!" Kairi's stomach growled. "See?"

"That's not very ladylike, Kairi," Maia said.

Kairi looked annoyed. "When a lady does that, you should just ignore it! And I'm tired from all this walking!"

"If it stops you from whining, we'll go eat," Maia said, going into the accessory shop. "I'll just take a minute," Kairi followed, leaving Auron and Gordon standing on the sidewalk.

Three women came toward them. They had identical blonde hair and their dresses were the same, albeit in different colors.

"He's so dreamy!" said the first, in a red dress.

"Look at those muscles!" the second, in a blue dress, got a little too close to Auron for comfort.

"And I don't see a wedding ring!" squealed the third, clad in green.

"Are they talking about me...?" Auron asked.

Gordon held up his left hand. "We're the only two guys here. They're standing next to you. They're looking directly at you. I don't have visible muscle mass like you. And I'm wearing a ring. So I'm guessing they're not referring to me."

"Do I really inspire such frothing desire in the female masses?" Auron backed away. "What do I do?"

"You do a dance, you gigantic lucky bastard," Gordon quipped.

"Let's get out of here," Auron said. "I need to buy a new bracer from the armor shop."

Gordon looked surprised. "You're not going to flirt with your new lady friends?"

"They're talking so much they're giving me a headache."

"All right." Gordon followed Auron into Arms N' Armor.

The three women stood there, dumbfounded.

"Aww, why can't he be more friendly?!" they whined in unison.

XXX

On Destiny Islands, the weather was beautiful. A nice day to relax on the beach.

Chappu was reading some papers while leaning against a palm tree.

Wakka came up beside him. "Whatcha doing?"

"Reading my autopsy report. Not many people get the opportunity to."

"Kind of morbid, ya?"

"According to this, I had a head injury antemortem. There was water in my lungs. The medical examiner told me that I was still breathing when I fell into the lake."

"Your point?" Wakka asked.

"How do I know you didn't hit me in the head and push me into the water?"

"That's ridiculous!"

"Is it? You stole my girl! You gave away my stuff!"

"I can get the sword back from Tidus," Wakka quickly said.

Chappu shook his head. "No, he can keep it. I always hated that sword. Point is, I'm back and you don't seem very happy to see me. Dad shot me, and you just stood there."

"I didn't hit you on the head and throw you in the lake, if that's what you're implying. What I want to know is why you were playing in Weeping Lily Pond in the first place. You know we're not allowed to swim there."

"There was a little girl. With sad eyes. I was standing on the edge of the lake, practicing my blitzball catches."

"Did you get this mystery girl's name?"

Chappu shook his head. "She didn't offer. I assumed she was new or a tourist. I'm guessing tourist. She talked kind of weird. Flowery, almost, like those Old English poems we had to read for English class."

"So what happened?"

"I told her about blitzball, and she wanted me to show her how to play. So we went into the pond."

"But you know there's sharp rocks at the bottom! And they're slippery. That's what happened. You went into the pond, lost your footing, and struck your head on a rock. You were unconscious, but still breathing. You inhaled water until you drowned. You weren't murdered. You died because of your own stupidity. Can we say 'Darwin Award'?"

"But why didn't she call for help?"

"Are you absolutely sure you saw a girl here?"

"Yes! I'm positive."

"What happened when you woke up?"

"I saw Kairi. Have you noticed how hot she's gotten? Wow."

"Anything else?"

"Sora's parents were there too. But what does it matter? Dad shot me! How could he do that to me?"

"How's the wound?"

Chappu lifted his shirt, revealing clear and unbroken skin. "You tell me."

Wakka gasped. "It's gone! The bullet hole! It's like you haven't been shot at all!"

XXX

The Happy Octopus restaurant was bustling with activity. Auron, Kairi, Maia, and Gordon were calmly eating.

"I can actually taste this steak," Auron commented. "It's been a long time since I've been able to taste anything. Or smell anything, for that matter."

"Another sign of independent life," Maia said. "The use of all five senses." She stirred her tea nervously. " How are we going to get out of here? I don't think anyone here's willing to lend us a Gummi Ship. I could try a teleportation spell, but who knows where we'll end up?"

"We can worry about that once we check out that magic signature," Gordon said. "And have dessert!" He frowned. "Did you guys just hear a clicking sound? Almost like..." Color drained from his face. "A gun cocking?"

Auron dove in front of Maia as a gunshot rang out. The bullet embedded in a nearby wall, barely missing a waiter.

Guido jumped from the rafters, holding his smoking semiautomatic pistol. "Good reflexes."

The restaurant patrons looked around nervously.

"Go," Guido said. "I have no quarrel with you, and this is going to get messy."

The patrons, not wanting to argue with a man holding a gun, fled.

"I recognize you," Auron said. "Guido Kandori?"

"Good memory," Guido said. "I think you can guess why I'm here."

Auron remained in front of Maia. "I'm not going to let you hurt her."

"I'm not here for her. I'm here for you."

"Hades sent you..."

"Correct." Guido pulled out a piece of paper. "He wanted me to give you this message. Quote. 'Get your keister back to the Underworld _now_.' Unquote."

"Who even says 'kiester' anymore?" Kairi asked.

"You can give him a reply," Auron said. "Quote. 'Hell no'. Unquote."

"Figured you'd say something like that," Guido said. "I asked out of politeness. You're coming with me, like it or not."

Auron drew his sword.

"You want to fight me? Ever heard the phrase 'Don't shoot the messenger'? Isn't Hades the one you're angry at?" Guido shrugged. " Beating me up would be a meaningless effort. I'm just a peon."

"You know yourself well," Auron sneered. "Though I'd say you go beyond peon. You're a puppet."

"Despite the obvious disdain in your voice," Guido responded. "You don't think being a puppet is such a bad thing. We're in the same boat here. Same situation, different master."

"Then who is my so-called master?"

"Lady Sappho, of course. You wouldn't just guard her out of the goodness of your heart, would you?"

"She asked me to be her guardian. I accepted. End of story."

"You accepted. You didn't know who she was. Only that she had considerable power over life and death. You're not stupid, Auron. I know you thought she'd take away your new life if you said no. Was it really a fair choice?"

"Is Hades giving you a fair choice?"

"I grow weary of speaking." Guido leveled his pistol. "Come with me."

"No."

"Come, Massacre!" Guido glowed with blue light. His persona rose above him and clawed at Auron, who countered with his sword.

"Guido, you've got to stop!" Gordon begged.

Guido fired several shots at Auron. "Oh, it stops here."

"Don't you realize this is exactly what Hades wants?" Gordon asked, moving between Auron and Guido. "You're playing right into his hands!"

Auron and Guido simply ran around Gordon.

"I don't think they want to listen to you," Kairi observed.

"Then I guess I have to make them listen," Gordon said, reaching into his knapsack. He took out a beautiful, golden feather.

"Phoenix Down?" Maia asked. "Auron and Guido are both already dead. They've been dead a long time."

"Exactly," Gordon began to climb the rafters.

"Tetrakarn!" Guido cried. A reflective shield appeared around him. It was too late for Auron to pull back his sword. It crashed into the shield and flew back. The momentum of the giant sword was so great that Auron was briefly pulled back with it.

Gordon took this opportunity to drop the Phoenix Down directly over Guido's head. It dissolved into golden dust that sprinkled Guido's hair.

Guido let out a sharp cry. "Augh!" Tiny yellow lights, like fireflies, began to fly from his body.

"Pyreflies?!" Auron asked.

Guido sank to one knee. "What did you do to me?!"

"What did you do to him?" Kairi asked.

"Killed him, despite how unlikely that is?" Auron suggested.

"I have no idea!" Gordon cried as he dropped to the ground. "I thought using Phoenix Down would make him alive long enough for Auron to kill him and send him back to Hades."

"It's a negative reaction..." Maia explained. "Phoenix Down uses holy energy to heal mortal wounds. But Guido's Persona, Massacre, is an avatar of Nyarlathotep."

"Is that name supposed to mean something?" Kairi asked.

"Nyarlathotep is the source of the darkness in people's hearts," Maia explained. "A persona is an extension of a person's psyche. Guido's persona has been a part of him so long that the dark energy from it has flowed into his body. Dark energy and holy energy are opposed, so the combination is dissolving his newly-materialized body." She moved toward him. "I can stop this, Guido. I can save you."

Guido's sunglasses fell off his face and clattered to the floor. "How?"

"I need to draw out the holy energy that's causing the reaction, then re-materialize you. Then I need to remove Massacre from your heart." Maia said.

"Massacre...he's part of me, whether I like it or not." Guido clutched himself. "It hurts..."

Maia came near him. "Please, just let me help you!"

Guido raised his pistol and fired a shot at Maia's feet. The bullet splintered the floor. "Don't embarrass me with your pity!"

"Do you want to die again?!" Kairi asked.

"I just want to die with my dignity intact," Guido responded.

"You fool!" Auron snapped. "We live with dignity, but we can't die with it!"

"Says the dead man..." Guido said. "You and I are not so different. We are dead, but we remain on this material plane. The Cesspool allowed us to rest, but it didn't last. Human souls are put through an endless cycle of reincarnation. But what awaits us beyond those myriad rebirths? Perhaps the death of the soul. Final rest. I can't wait..." Guido dissolved fully.

"Magnega!" Maia called. The pyreflies came toward her and coalesced into a white orb. She caught the orb in her hands.

"What are you going to do with him?" Kairi asked.

"Putting in the Cesspool would just be giving him back to Hades," Auron said.

"But Hades will probably send more dead people after us," Gordon suggested. "He hates you, Auron."

"Feeling's mutual," Auron said, taking a swig from his sake flask.

Maia held the orb to her chest. It eased into her body and vanished, as if she had absorbed it. "Remember how I said souls can be confined into objects? My siblings, my mother, and I can hold souls in our own bodies. The souls are inert while they're in us. Think of it as a sort of spiritual sleep. We use this to carry belligerent souls that won't go to the Astral Plane on their own. Sora inherited this ability, too."

"And that's how he carried my heart," Kairi said.

Maia nodded. "Right. When this is over, I'll turn Guido over to my sisters. For now, I'll give him the rest he wants."

"Do you feel bad for him?" Kairi asked.

"He's too prideful to ask for sympathy, but I still pity him," Maia said. "It is forbidden for gods to materialize human souls to be their servants. Hades has blatantly disobeyed this rule. Poor Guido. To be used by Nyarlathotep, and then Hades like this. It's nothing but cruel exploitation. Auron..."

"Yes, Maia?" Auron asked.

"I'm sorry," Maia said. "Tell me where you want to go. I'll take you there immediately."

"I'm staying with you," Auron retorted.

"Why?" Maia asked. "I'm doing the same thing Hades is doing. Exploiting a soul. I tried to tell myself that I had to monitor you, since this is my first materialization in years. I corrected everyone: you're not my einherjar, you're my guardian. But it's just semantic nonsense, right? So I'm setting you free."

"If you held me against my will, that would be exploitation."

"But I am," Maia said. "Guido pointed out..."

Auron shook his head. "Guido's an idiot. You didn't force me into this. I want to be here. Being a guardian is all I know. I want to protect you, Maia. And I'm curious to see how this story ends."

XXX

"One last floor," Mickey said.

"The Dainslef better be here," Riku said.

"There's no guarantee it is," Terpsichore reasoned.

"Gabriel said 'beware of that woman'," Urania said. "He probably meant his evil sister."

"Evil sister?" Goofy asked. "Who is she?"

Urania pointed ahead. "Her."

A tall woman stood before them. She had golden blonde hair set in a high upsweep, colorful robes of black, red, and purple silk, and wings that looked like they were made of gold filigree. She carried a spear with a heart-shaped tip. Like Gabriel, she floated a foot off the ground. "The Seraphic Gate is a sanctuary for those estranged because of their immense strength. Have you been driven from your home? My name is Iselia Queen. Visitors, tell me your names, and I shall make a place for you in this world."

Mickey's Keyblade materialized in his hand. "You think we would just hide with our heads in the sand while the world crumbles?"

"And we don't need your help or protection," Riku said. "We're here to find the Dainslef."

Iselia Queen held up a golden keychain. "You mean this? You cannot have it. It is my plaything."

"Then you leave us no choice. We're taking it," Riku replied.

Iselia Queen looked upset. "You dare defy me? If that is your choice, then so be it. But as you chose this path, you have yourself to blame. Can you take responsibility for your choice?" She began to glow. "Death shall be your reward!"

"Way to go, Riku," Donald said sarcastically. "Honestly, when is angering an angel ever a good idea?"

Euterpe took out her spear. "I...don't feel so good. Brahms' imprisonment spell seems to have drained my energy."

"Mine too," Urania said.

"Then let us handle her!" Mickey said.

Iselia Queen dove toward Sora. "Empress Massacre!" She swung her spear and struck Sora hard, making him fly into the air. As he was airborne, she hit him eight more times before letting him crash to the ground.

Sora got up, dimly reminded of how he used to juggle Rare Truffles. Except they seemed to enjoy being bounced around with a Keyblade. They even gave him presents – ugly, goopy presents but it's the thought that counts, right?

Mickey leaped at Iselia Queen and hit her with his Keyblade, seemingly floating effortlessly in the air.

"Goofy Bash!" Goofy threw his shield. For some reason, it returned to his hand after it hit Iselia Queen.

"Riku," Donald said. "Can you fire a dark spell at me?"

Riku shrugged. "Sure. But bear in mind that my dark powers have weakened. I can't even make darkness portals anymore."

"Just give me a little dark power."

"OK..." Riku fired a small dark orb at Donald. "Dark Firaga!"

Donald caught the orb with his staff. The crystal on the end glowed black. "All right. The Wand of Apocalypse can collect basic magic energy and amplify it. Great Magic spells are essentially amplified regular spells. If my hunch is correct, Iselia Queen is strong to holy magic, but weak to dark. So...harken the angel summon. The true path shall guide you. Find peace in annihilation. Phantom Destruction!" Black energy surged through the room.

Iselia Queen shrieked.

"Isn't that the spell Guido used on us?" Goofy asked.

"Yeah. It's a lot cooler now that we're not on the receiving end of it," Erato commented.

"Donald, Riku...do that again!" Sora cried.

"She's half gone," Urania said. "One more should put her out of commission!"

Riku tossed another Dark Firaga at Donald.

Donald waved his wand. "Phantom Destruction!"

Iselia Queen slumped and dropped her spear. She tossed the keychain at Sora's feet. "A sword of terrible destruction. It is yours. Tell me, what will you do with all the power you hold?"

"Do what I've always done," Sora said. "Protect the world."

"A noble endeavor. You may have what it takes to defeat the One…" Iselia Queen vanished.

Sora picked up the keychain. It looked like a blue jewel cut into the shape of a five-pointed star. He attached it to his Keyblade. The Keyblade glowed and changed shape.

The Dainslef looked like an antique key, with alternating curves of gold and silver, and seven round diamonds set in the hilt guard. It was an exact replica of the Keyblade he had seen in his dream.

"How do you know it's the real Dainslef?" Polyhymnia asked.

"I just know," Sora replied.

"Can it live up to its name?" Polyhymnia asked. "Can it kill a god? Perhaps we should test it."

"Test it?" Sora repeated. "How?"

"My sisters are far too important to risk on a test," Polyhymnia said simply. "I, however, am a worthy test subject." She knelt before Sora. "Make it quick."

Sora's mouth dropped open. After a minute, he finally spoke. "Are you asking me to kill you?"

"I'm really sorry to put you in this position. But I'm unable to hold a Keyblade. I'd drive the thing through my chest myself otherwise."

Sora stared incredulously.

Polyhymnia continued. "For the past twenty years, I have struggled to atone for my sin. But no matter how much I try, I'm still disgusting. One born of sin cannot be free of sin. The only way to cleanse sin, pure black sin, is to drown it in the blood of a repentant heart. So break my heart."

"No!" Sora snapped.

"Then let Mickey or Riku do it. Or you can briefly assign control of your body to Roxas."

"I wouldn't do it either!" Mickey said.

"I don't kill pretty girls," Riku added.

Sora dismissed his Keyblade. "Never!"

**Rats. **Roxas said. **I never get to have any fun. **

"If I had died before, my soul would have reconstituted in my mother's body. Calamity is now in control of that body. The Dainslef will destroy my soul. I'm a lot weaker than Calamity, so it should be powerful enough. Destroying me will lower Calamity's full capacity. It'll be putting my healing spells beyond her reach. You'll never be able to kill her if she can heal herself fully every round."

"I'm going to keep you safe," Sora insisted. "I'm going to protect everyone."

"You can't protect everyone. And if you protect me, who's going to protect the worlds from me? I'm a poison that must be purged."

"Why do you call yourself that? Ever since I met you, I've wanted to know you better! I think you're a good person!"

Polyhymnia folded her arms. "I don't believe you!

"Then believe this!" Sora hugged Polyhymnia.

"Don't take her seriously," Erato said. "She's just really tired. And there's something else making her feel this way."

"But we should help her," Goofy said. "Feelin' like that just ain't healthy!"

Donald yawned. "How about we rest and then take her to a shrink?"

Mickey pointed to an elevator. "That'll take us back to ground level. We can camp outside."

"Remember, we were going to talk to Merlin again?" Clio asked. "About Myelinne?"

"Yeah," Mickey agreed. "We'll go see him after we rest."

XXX

"Guido wasn't the magic signature I sensed earlier," Maia explained. "He was using a spell to cloak his presence. The source is nearby." She closed her eyes and concentrated. "It's actually coming toward us!"

"That's a rather nice sword," came a booming voice. A man with six arms, a sword in each hand, stood on a nearby roof. He was clothed in bright red robes. "Muahahaha!" He leaped from the roof and crashed to the pavement below, then got up with a sheepish chuckle.

"This?" Auron held up the Yoshitsuna.

"Yes..." The man said. "It's magnificent! I must have it! I want it! I want it! Give it to me! Now!"

"No," Auron said.

"Fool!" The man raised all six of his swords. "You face the greatest swordsman in the universe! You face me! Gilgamesh!" A small green wolf-like dog leaped from the roof and landed by Gilgamesh's side. "And Enkidu!"

Maia attempted to cast a spell. "Fire!" A tiny spark hit Gilgamesh. "Fira!" A fireball the size of a ping-pong ball appeared and struck Gilgamesh. "Firaga?" This time it was the size of a tennis ball. "Ifrit Caress?" A few softball-sized fireballs appeared and pelted Gilgamesh, who shrugged them off.

"Were those supposed to hurt him?" Kairi asked.

"I told you magic's weak here," Maia responded.

"Stay back," Auron suggested. "I'm inclined to believe he's all talk."

Gilgamesh swung his swords at Gordon, who leaped back in time. Then he attempted to hit Auron, who seemed unfazed.

Gilgamesh decided to take another approach. "The sword I wield...is no counterfeit!" He leaped up in the air and slammed his swords into the ground, making giant chunks of pavement fly up and hit the party from all angles.

"Okay, that hurt a little," Kairi said.

Maia passed out potions to everyone. "My healing magic is also weak, so we'll need to rely on items for the time being."

Gordon pulled out the take-home box from the restaurant. "Here, boy!" He pulled out a small portion of steak and fed it to Enkidu, who devoured it happily.

"I grow tired of this," Auron said. "Banishing Blade!" Red rings appeared around his sword. Six dark orbs flew from the blade and hit Gilgamesh with a crash.

"Hmph." Gilgamesh said. "I...I have a stomach cramp! I shall claim that sword another time! Come, Enkidu!" He and his dog vanished.

"Wow, what a sore loser," Kairi commented.

"Gilgamesh?!" A young girl came toward them. "Gilgamesh?! Where are you?" She was wearing a black day dress. She looked like exactly like Kairi, down to the facial features and red hair.

"Um, Gilgamesh is sort of…gone." Gordon explained.

"What?!" The girl asked.

"He attacked us and ran away," Auron added.

The girl looked confused. "But why would he attack you?" Her gaze fell on the Yoshitsuna. "Oh." She began to cry.

Maia placed a reassuring hand on Mira's shoulder. "What's your name?"

"Mira," the girl said. "Mira Alcott."

"What's wrong?" Kairi asked.

"I…hired Gilgamesh to do a job for me. Tonight."

"I don't think he'll be back anytime soon," Auron said.

"It has to be tonight." Mira insisted.

"What could you possibly hire that doofus to do?" Gordon asked.

Nothing could have prepared them for what Mira said next: "I wanted him to assassinate someone for me."

"Why would you want to assassinate someone?!" Kairi asked. "Who could you want to see dead that badly?"

Mira explained further. "The target was a man named Richard. Richard has this collection of antique weapons, including a bunch of swords. Gilgamesh is obsessed with swords, so I told him I'd give him Richard's cache if he..."

"Why would a little girl like you want to kill someone?" Gordon asked.

Mira's expression darkened. "Richard is a plague. His father's the governor, so he can do as he pleases. I'm supposed to perform in a play tonight. Richard is planning to kidnap me at the end of the fifth act. He told me he plans to lock me in a distant tower, and make me his wife. He claims he's going to treat me like a queen, but…I don't want to marry him! It's nothing but imprisonment! I told him off, but he just laughed."

"He told you when to expect him. Why don't you just refuse to go on stage and hide somewhere safe?" Gordon suggested.

Mira looked crestfallen. "I don't have an understudy. And my father won't cancel the performance. He insists that Richard's just bluffing. So that's why I hired Gilgamesh. And now he's gone. I don't have enough money to hire a real assassin. Except maybe Cliff of Leukos, but he can barely even tie his own shoes."

"Um, we get the impression that Gilgamesh is a bumbler too..." Kairi said. "Just a feeling."

Mira nodded. "He's rather incompetent, so I thought he'd just maim Richard. Richard himself is an expert swordsman. I'm sorry to bother you." She turned to leave.

**Kairi, we have to help her. **Naminé said. **I know what it's like to be a prisoner. I don't wish that on anyone else. **

"Wait!" Kairi said. "We're going to help you!"

"We are?" asked Auron.

"This Richard guy is going to lock her in a tower like some fairy-tale princess," Gordon said. "And the authorities apparently aren't going to do anything about it."

"Richard's also a demon-user..." Mira said. "Every police officer who's tried to arrest him has been killed horribly." She shuddered. "He threatened to kill my best friend if I didn't marry him tonight."

"How old is this Richard?" Maia asked.

"Sixteen, why?" Mira asked.

"A cop-slayer who's not even old enough to vote? Even if they did arrest him, he'd be tried as a minor. When he turns twenty-one, he'll be free again." Maia clutched her staff. "I won't let this stand. He's essentially stalking you!"

"But your magic…" Kairi protested. "And aren't you not allowed to intervene in human affairs?"

"I'm human myself," Maia said. "I'm exempt from the usual rules barring divine intervention."

"Kairi looks exactly like you," Gordon said. "She could take your place in the performance when Richard shows up."

"Why do I have to be the bait?" Kairi whined.

"Because you've got a Keyblade to defend yourself with?" Maia said. "My magic might not be worth much here, but I can still summon."

"I'd hate to burden you..." Mira said.

"You'll spend the rest of your life locked up!" Gordon said. "Now, what kind of life is that? Wouldn't it be wrong if we left you to that fate?"

Auron shrugged. "Why not? It wouldn't be the first wedding I've wrecked."

XXX

"Sora! Sora!" Riku was shaking Sora awake.

"Huh?" Sora asked blearily. "Where am I?"

"Remember? We found the Dainslef, and we left the Seraphic Gate and camped out here?"

"Oh, yeah. So why'd you wake me?"

"I found a nice hot spring. Mickey, Donald, and Goofy are already there. Wanna come take a soak before we head back to Radiant Garden?"

"Sure." Sora followed Riku into some nearby woods. There was indeed, a natural hot spring, bordered by a wall of rock. "Where are the others?"

"There's more of the spring behind the rock, so they decided to bathe there. In case someone comes along."

"OK." Sora stripped to his heart-patterned boxers, climbed the rock, and leaped in. "One hundred fifty five millimeter paladin copperhead shell!"

Mickey, Donald, and Goofy were splashed. Donald wore an undershirt. Mickey and Goofy sported boxers. Mickey's had smiley faces and Goofy's had polka dots.

"Whatever happened to cannonball?" Donald asked.

"It just seems so yesteryear," Sora commented.

Riku joined them. "Geronimo!"

For the next half-hour, the five of them splashed happily and generally had a good time.

"Wait...do you hear something?" Goofy asked. "It sounds like...girls."

"Are you sure we should take off our clothes?" Polyhymnia's voice asked. "It's a sin to strip in front of others."

"The guys are still asleep," Erato said. "It's just us."

"But..." Polyhymnia protested.

Urania's voice sounded exasperated. "Polyhymnia, just take off your dress. No one's going to be looking at you.."

"You promise you won't laugh?" Polyhymnia sounded unsure.

Clio's voice chimed in. "We promise. Come on, Poly. The water's really nice!"

"OK," Polyhymnia said. There was the sound of water splashing. "Wow. This is pleasant."

"This isn't good!" Mickey whispered.

"Yeah," Riku agreed. "Goddesses aren't very forgiving when someone spies on them while they bathe. Remember Actaeon?"

Sora scratched his head. "We covered that in English class last week, didn't we?"

"But how are we going to get out?" Goofy asked. "The shore is on the other side of this rock here."

"How about getting out on the other side?" Sora suggested. They turned around. A steep cliff bordered the shore.

"I can climb, but that looks way too steep," Riku said. "It's nearly perpendicular!"

"And they'll see us even if we could climb," Donald said. "Ah, phooey!"

"Let's just wait until they get out," Goofy suggested.

"But they might come looking for us," Mickey said.

"Can't we just admit this is an honest mistake?" Riku asked. "We didn't know they'd come here to bathe. If we cry and beg, they'll let us off. I hope."

"Er..." Sora said. "Don't they have superhuman hearing?"

"Do you hear something?!" Euterpe's voice asked.

"Probably just birds," Terpsichore replied.

"Ack!" Riku cried. "Euterpe?"

Mickey looked scared. "Euterpe's not going to just let us off the hook! She'll...execute us!"

"How do you know that?" Donald asked.

"You really think she'd let someone get away with seeing her...like that?" Mickey countered.

"Let's just stay quiet and wait for them to go away," Riku said. "Stay calm."

For a few minutes, there was the sound of water splashing and feminine giggling.

Then the most unfortunate thing happened.

Goofy sneezed.

Donald forgot where he was. "GOOFY, YOU IDIOT!"

"Donald?!" Terpsichore asked.

"Oh, great..." Riku moaned.

Six very wet and scantily-clad goddesses peeked behind the rock.

"Eeeek!" Polyhymnia cried.

Sora looked away, but not before Roxas got a good look at the sisters. **Oh, holy mother of Nomura! Erato is hot! Euterpe is hot! Polyhymnia is hot...why does she wear that stupid Puritan outfit?! They're all hot! Turn your head, stupid! I wanna see them some more! **

Riku chuckled nervously. "Um, we can explain..."

"Silence!" Euterpe snapped, arms folded across her chest. " I'm going to execute you all!"

"It was nice knowing you!" Clio said cheerfully.

XXX

Mira took Kairi and her party to a nearby theatre. They entered through a service entrance.

A giant water tank occupied most of the room.

"I have to introduce you to my co-star." Mira walked toward the tank. "Willie, these nice people are going to stop Richard."

A giant whale burst from the tank. "Hello, everyone."

"A talking whale?!" Gordon asked. "Now I've seen everything."

"Willie is my co-star," Mira said. "He can sing beautifully. He wanted to sing at the Met, except they have a strict 'no marine mammals' policy."

Yellow lights floated from Willie, similar to the pyreflies that had escaped Guido's body.

"An unsent talking whale?!" Auron asked incredulously. "Now _I've _seen everything!"

"You poor thing," Maia said. "You were denied your dreams. You won't be able to rest until they're fulfilled."

"You're dead?" Mira asked. "How...why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to upset you," Willie said.

Mira shook her head. "But Richard's threat to kill you would have been empty, since it's impossible to kill something that's already dead."

Gordon blushed. "You'd be surprised."

XXX

Calamity entered the room in which Calliope was imprisoned. Calliope looked rather tired, but showed no signs of injury. However, the walls were splattered with blood.

"I knew your father had a strong body and an even stronger mind," Calamity commented. "But to resist this much?"

Calliope said nothing.

"Calliope, your mother told you and you alone what happened to Sappho when she died. That Sappho was reincarnated as human and linked with her human lover. But you don't know that Sappho's current reincarnation happens to be Sora's mother. Really, it's the only explanation why Sora is able to produce Mnemosyne's brand of Divine Materialize Energy. His mother's name is Maia Pleiades. And she's out looking for Sora right now."

"But that's impossible!" Calliope cried. "Sappho's memories were sealed. The seal should still be intact."

"It would have remained intact for a long time," Calamity said. "But unfortunately, some strong memories were giving Maia nightmares, so she happened to ask Naminé the Memory Witch for some memory therapy. It was just a happy little coincidence that Naminé's human host has access to her own Keyblade."

"The Keyblade broke the seal? And Sora's mother...that explains a lot."

"A lot? Don't you mean everything?" Calamity asked. "How Sora was able to materialize Naminé and Roxas. How he was able to carry Kairi's heart within himself. How he's able to channel his friends' spirits. How he could beat the mighty Hercules in a fight. Even 'main character power' can't account for all of that. Would you like to see Sappho again?"

"Of course I would," Calliope said. "If you dare lay a hand on her, I'll..."

"You'll what? I'd like to see you back that up."

"Mother!" Nyarlathotep, who still looked like Roxas, opened the door and stepped in. "They got it. Dainslef."

"If you were anyone other than Mommy's Little Gumdrop, I'd be rather upset with your failure to stop them," Calamity said. "But you had a good reason."

Nyarlathotep smirked. "Of course I did." He held up a spear. "The Sacred Spear Longinus. Turns outs the Celestials were guarding it all this time."

Calamity looked delighted. "Excellent. You couldn't let them know you found it. If they have a weapon capable of killing a god, it's only fair we have one too." She took the Longinus pressed the point against Calliope's chest. "You know that anyone – even a divine being – stabbed with this will bleed endlessly. No amount of healing magic can stop it. I could plunge this into you and end your immortal life."

"I'm familiar with the legends." Calliope said. "Go ahead and stab me."

Calamity withdrew the spear. "Can't do that. I need you."

"Why didn't you use rumors?" Calliope asked Nyarlathotep. "That's how you got the Longinus the first time."

Nyarlathotep shrugged. "Philemon would expect me to do that and take precautions. I did use rumors to create this, though." He took out a glimmering gold tiara. It was an exact duplicate of Calliope's original tiara, which was still in Sora's possession. "A few of your mother's enemies think you're so subservient to your mother..."

"Aren't you being hypocritical there?" Calliope interrupted.

"Shut up, Calliope," Calamity said. "Continue, Nyarly. Show her how hopeless the situation is."

Nyarlathotep handed Calamity the tiara. "I suggested to them that perhaps Mnemosyne's gift – that ridiculous headpiece – would enslave the will of the wearer. And they swallowed it right up. The original tiara is unaffected, but who cares about that?"

"Good work," Calamity said.

"If I may pose one question, Mother," Nyarlathotep began.

"I will hear it," Calamity said.

"What do you intend to do about the Seventh Son?"

"Philemon?" Calamity snorted. "He's too occupied in the Astral Plane. He is of little concern to you right now."

"But he always screws up my plans!"

"Because he's stronger than you, and he knows it. I am more powerful than him...by several orders of magnitude. He wouldn't dare show his face to me. Don't worry, my baby. Once we collect the souls of the rest of Mnemosyne's little brats, we'll turn our attention to Philemon. And you can deal the final blow."

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear, Mommy."

"And would you mind retrieving the Dainslef keychain and Sora's soul?"

Nyarlathotep bowed. "Yes, Mommy." He left the room.

Calamity held up the tiara. "Kefka's old boss had a similar device to this crafted. It was called a 'Slave Crown.' It literally overrode the wearer's thoughts. Except they were unaware of what was happening. This one, however, allows the wearer to think and react, even as they lose control of their bodies. Quite an impressive piece of machinery."

Calliope stiffened. "What do you intend to do with it?"

"Nothing yet. Calliope, I'm going to offer you an opportunity to save yourself. I'll release you if you call me Queen."

"Never."

"You refuse?"

"I would be an idiot to believe you."

"Smart girl. Even if I were telling the truth, you'd be too weak to teleport or flee the castle." Calamity rose to leave. "But I kept my bargain so far. I haven't hurt Thalia or Melpomene at all." She turned to leave. "Let me know if you change your mind."

The door slammed shut.

Calamity re-entered her meeting room.

"Kefka," Calamity said. "I've got a task for you. Find Sappho and bring her back alive. Don't kill her husband, either. I've yet to break the soul linkage. You can beat her up if she resists too much. Do that, and you can blow up any world you choose. Preferably a cutesy, sugary world."

Kefka looked interested. "Can it be Christmas Town?"

"Sure, why not? As long as I get to watch."

"Great!" Kefka sang happily. "Shotgun shells, shot to hell! Santa blown away! He can beg for mercy, then become a fine red spray..."

XXX

Kairi looked in the mirror. She was wearing a floor-length purple dress and a golden tiara. "How do I look?"

"Like a princess," Mira said. She was holding a compact. She took a powder puff and dusted Kairi's face with it, making her cough.

"Why.." Cough. "Do I have..." Cough. "To wear this?" Kairi asked.

"The makeup makes you look better under the lights," Mira explained. "You're prettier than me, Kairi."

"We look the same," Kairi said. "Why would you say I'm prettier?"

"You smile. My smile...all the critics say my smile is cold and frozen."

"Why don't you smile warmly?"

"I can't." Mira said. "I have no reason to. That's why I only play tragic heroines: Antigone, Juliet, Carmen. You're a princess who'll live happy ever after. I'm the one who will be eaten by tigers or die from a poisoned apple."

There was a knock on the door.

Mira gasped and ducked under the vanity table. "It's Richard."

The door opened, and a teenage boy stepped in. He looked exactly like Riku, with long silver hair, bright blue eyes, and a muscular build. He wore a leather jacket and black jeans. He also had polished steel-toed boots. "You look beautiful, Mira! In fact, you should get married in that instead of the wedding dress I bought for you. Not that it matters. You'll be taking it off right after the ceremony. I can't wait."

"Riku?!" Kairi asked. "What...?"

The boy looked confused. "Who's Riku? My name is Richard. You know, your fiance." He looked at Kairi's hand. "You're not wearing your ring."

"I don't want to marry you!" Kairi snapped. "And if you dare interrupt this play, you'll be sorry!"

"Ooh, how frightening," Richard said sarcastically.

"I mean it!" Kairi said.

"Why do you have to be such an ungrateful little bitch?" Richard asked.

Kairi's cheeks flushed red. "What did you just call me?!" She had heard Riku say that word dozens of times but he _never_, _ever_ aimed it at her.

"You heard me," Richard continued. "It's not imprisonment, like you say. You'll never have to work again. No more performing for your demanding father, the Impressario! I'm hiring the best chefs to prepare your favorite foods every day. I'll buy you nice clothes. And I promise to get my hair trimmed so I look presentable for you. Course, I will take measures to prevent you from running off. The doors will only open from the outside. All the windows have bars. And if you somehow remove the bars, it's a three story drop. Because there are no windows on the first or second stories. And if you take the chance, there are trained dogs who are under orders to eat anything that comes in its jaw range."

"How is that not imprisonment?!" Kairi asked.

"Because, Mira darling, despite your protests, you really do love me. And I love you."

"If you really loved someone, you wouldn't try to imprison her!"

"Hmph. 'If you love someone, set them free. If they leave, it never was yours'? Sorry. I don't think that statement applies to human love. You're like a butterfly, Mira. And butterflies like to fly away. But you know what people do to butterflies? Pin them to cards, so they'll never leave."

"But they die!" protested Kairi.

Richard smirked. "I'd rather have you dead than not mine. Break a leg on your performance. Go out with a bang!" He turned and left, closing the dressing-room door behind him.

Mira crawled out from under the vanity table. "At least he didn't see me."

"I almost want him to show up," Kairi said. "It'd give me an excuse to beat him up. What a scumbag."

"Well, he was fooled, so the plan should work," Mira commented. "He can't tell the difference between us."

"No one will."

"Except McGwynn and McGuire."

"Who are they?"

"Important theatre critics. They're coming to tonight's performance. They're big fans of mine. I hope you can sing."

**Perhaps you should mention what happened when you tried out for the school play. **Naminé said.

_You're not helping, Naminé!_

**Sorry. **

XXX

Calamity gazed at the large portrait of Kore.

"Why do you keep that portrait up?" Loki asked. "Isn't it a reminder of your own destruction?"

"Sort of," Calamity said. "But it also is a reminder that I'll have Kore soon. And she'll be the one suffering. Besides, I could always throw darts at it."

XXX

Meanwhile, the play was in its fifth and final act. Kairi and Willie were singing a duet, the play's final musical number.

"Is this thing ever going to end?" Dave McGuire complained.

"Well, could be worse," Sam McGwynn said. "It could be an adaptation of War and Peace."

"Don't say that. You'll give the Impresario ideas. Honestly, what was with Miss Alcott's voice tonight? She usually sings like a nightingale..."

"She's probably just getting a cold or something," Sam reasoned.

"Shame on him. Making her work when she's sick."

"Didn't we see those two at the Big Game?" Gordon whispered. He, Maia, and Auron were just behind the scenery, watching and waiting for Richard.

Auron shrugged. "Does it matter?"

Willie and Kairi finished their song and took their bows.

A shadowy figure swung in on a rope. It was Richard.

"Are you Richard?" Auron asked, moving from behind the scenery.

"Yes," Richard said. "And I've come to rescue my Princess!"

"I don't think so," Auron drew his sword. "Either you leave right now, or I teach you some manners."

Richard drew a large knife. "Care to back that up, Gramps?"

"Who are these guys?" Dave asked.

"Shh! I hope we get some sword fighting," Sam said excitedly.

Auron swung the heavy Yoshitsuna and cleaved Richard's dagger neatly in half.

"OK, you can back it up." Richard stepped back. "Take this! Black Frost!"

The air filled with snow. A plump, round creature appeared. It had a black body and head, and was wearing a purple neck frill, hat, and shoes. The thing had a rather large mouth, with two sharp white fangs. Bright, blazing red tear-drop shaped eyes gazed at the party with malice.

Maia took out her black summon gem. "Come forth!"

Purple smoke filled the theater, making most of the audience run for the exits. Chernabog materialized, taking up most of the stage.

Black Frost squealed and vanished in a shower of snow flakes.

"It can't be! Chernabog, the Black God!" Richard pulled out a copy of _Devil Summoning for Fun and Profit. _"I should have learned the summon spell for Belobog..."

The orchestra began to play "Dance of the Hours." Chernabog growled, snatched the conductor, and popped him in his mouth.

Horrified, the orchestra began to play "Night on Bald Mountain."

Chernabog grunted, as if to say "That's better." Then he turned toward Richard.

Richard backed away. "Nice Black God...good Black God."

"Wow," Dave said. "It looked like the conductor really got eaten."

"Points for realism," Sam commented.

Then Gordon heard a voice that made his blood run cold.

"I'm baaaaack!" Ultros leaped in from the rafters. "Thought you wouldn't see me again? I've got more lives than I do arms!"

"OK, now it feels like they're just pulling random plot threads out of nowhere..." Dave said dismally. "A giant octopus that wasn't in any of the first four acts? Or was I so bored that I fell asleep and I missed it?"

"How is this any different than _Lost_?" Sam asked. "Keeps us guessing. I'd say that's a good thing. Bring on the polar bears!"

"Don't you ever give up?" Auron asked Ultros.

Ultros thought a minute. "My mama always said I was a slow learner, but at least I never give up!" He gestured to the catwalk above. "Rather than announce that I'm gonna jam up your opera and then try to push the weight, I cut the rope before I jumped out. That four-ton weight is gonna fall on your star! Bwa ha ha ha!"

Everyone looked on, in horror, as a four-ton weight was indeed about to fall on Kairi.

Kairi turned to flee...only to get shoved out of the path of the weight. There was a horrible squishing sound.

Richard was lying pinned under the weight, along with a liberal pool of blood.

"Mira," Richard wheezed, spitting out a mouthful of blood. "The guy who's been threatening you all this time isn't me. I was in despair when you rejected me. I heard there was this demon woman, Tisiphone. If I could summon her...anyway, I succeeded. Or failed, seeing as she possessed me. For some reason, she set this whole thing up. Forgive me for being such a fool. I have only one last request. Could you please kiss me on the forehead before I die?"

"Ick! No!" Kairi snapped.

Richard sighed. "Fair enough. I don't deserve it." He spat out another mouthful of blood, closed his eyes, and died.

Ultros wrapped a tentacle around Gordon, who promptly fainted.

Auron sliced the tentacle holding Gordon clean off.

For a brief second, Ultros stared at his missing appendage. Then he began to scream. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeouch!" Blood flowed copiously from the open wound. Ultros slunk off in search of some first aid.

The director, a man known only as "Impresario", came out. "Now this is just great! That blood's going to ruin my varnish!"

Mira came out from backstage. "Calm down, Daddy. We could always have the stage repaneled."

Gordon stirred. "Octopi? Why did it have to be octopi?"

"I guess we should go," Maia said. "We've caused enough trouble today. Sorry about your conductor."

"Wait!" Willie said. "I want to go with you guys! That is, if Mira says it's okay."

"Go ahead," Mira said. "Go see the world."

"But Willie's your friend," Kairi said. "Won't you miss him?"

"I will," Mira said. "But I'm not sure telling a whale about my problems is the healthiest habit. And it's what Willie wants, and who am I to stand in the way of his dreams?"

"What about me?!" The Impresario whined. "I can't just let my star quit! But then again, hiring a new star would be cheaper than filling the water tank. And supplying Willie with enough fish. And the PETA nuts would leave me alone...all right."

Willie bowed. "Goodbye, my friends! I'm off to be rediscovered!"

Maia picked up one of the props, a necklace. "Confine!"

XXX

After the fiasco at the hot spring, Euterpe and the other goddesses went off to dress in private. Embarrassed; Sora, Riku, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy got dressed and prepared the Gummi Ship.

Sora held the door open for the now fully-dressed sisters. Euterpe passed by without even looking in his direction. Clio walked by with her nose in the air. Polyhymnia was sobbing. Urania punched him as she passed.

When everyone was seated, Mickey sat in the cockpit's seat and started the engines. The sisters sat sullenly as the Gummi Ship took off.

**Looks like they're still pissed. **Roxas commented.

_That truly was an "execution." _Sora thought.

**It was totally worth it, though. **

_Let's just never think of this again!_

**Why don't we just ask Polyhymnia to sleep with us? It's a well-documented fact that vulnerable women put out more. **

_No. _

**Don't think of it as cheating on our girlfriends. Think of it as teaching Poly that sex is a wonderful thing and not a sin. **

_The answer is still no. _

**You know, since the Olette I knew was a data copy, what do you suppose sex with her would have been like? I wish I had asked when I had the chance. Hmm...what's the real thing like in bed? Let's stop by Twilight Town.**

_We are not going to violate Olette! _

**Why not? I bet she'd say yes to you. **

_What about her boyfriend? He's twice my size. _

**Aww,**** lard doesn't count. You could kick Pence's butt in your sleep. **

_He could sit on me! _

**Hmm, good point. He could snap your spine. **

"Um, guys?" Mickey's voice broke Sora out of his conversation. "There's an abnormal amount of enemy ships out here. We're surrounded."

There was a distant explosion. The cabin rocked.

"That can't be good," Urania said.

"Engines at 75 percent capacity..." announced Chip's voice over the radio.

"Your Majesty, couldn't you have gotten us a better traveling vessel?" asked Euterpe. "One that doesn't lose 25 percent of its power in a single hit."

"It wasn't just one hit," Mickey said. "It was several. An entire armada is firing on us!"

"But who?" Riku asked.

"They don't look like Heartless ships." There was another crash. The cabin rocked violently. Red lights flashed.

"Engines at 25 percent capacity!" Dale sounded concerned. "What's going on out there, your Majesty?"

"I'm losing control!" Mickey cried. "They've knocked out the auxiliary power. We're gonna crash!"

"Gonna?" Urania asked as the ship began to spiral into a taildive. "Try 'we're crashing as we speak'!"

Goofy pulled a teddy bear out of nowhere and squeezed it tight. "Yaaahahahooooooey!"

XXX

"My teleportation spell actually worked?" Maia asked. "This is Doma City. The Tria system is the next system of worlds over!"

"Why didn't you teleport us there?" Kairi asked.

"It's too far. Too big of a risk," Maia said. She concentrated again. "Sora's still alive...but the Keyblade is different. It's stirring terror in my divine soul...Dainslef." She hung her head. "He has it. I'm too late."

"He hasn't challenged Calamity yet," Gordon said. "There's still time."

Shrill laughter echoed down the street. Kefka, sporting two bouffant dark wings, floated above them. The buildings around him were in smoking ruins. Injured people attempted to crawl away from the wreckage, climbing over dead bodies.

"That's not a good sign," Gordon observed.

"You think?" Kairi asked.

"Kefka Palazzo," Maia said. "It can't be...he died a thousand years ago!"

"Well, Hades has a habit of bringing dead people back to life," Auron said.

"It wasn't Hades..." Maia replied. "Calamity brought him back. I can sense her energy coursing through him."

"Who exactly is he?" Kairi asked.

"Years ago, in this very world, Kefka absorbed the energies of three trickster goddesses and tore the world asunder.."

"He succeeded?" Kairi asked. "Not even Zeromus was able to do that!"

Gordon pointed. "Someone's beating us to the punch!"

A young girl, no more than sixteen, was facing down Kefka and waving a sword. Her armor looked to be made of molded plastic rather than metal. Her sword, though genuine, looked rather dull. She had tan skin and white hair in a pageboy. Also, she was very petite, making her look utterly ridiculous next to Kefka. "Demon who threatens this fair city!" She cried. "I, Ixquic, the transmigrated warrior maiden, shall whoop your ass!"

Kefka roared with laughter. "You? Why don't you go back to your cosplaying?!"

Ixquic shook with anger. "Cosplaying?!" A blue light surrounded her. A brilliant green bird with the face of a human woman appeared above her. "Pariker, smash him!"

"She's a summoner?" Auron asked.

"Persona-user, if you want to be precise," Maia said. "But the power signature I'm getting from Kefka is far stronger than her persona. We have to stop her."

They didn't have to. A small orb of blue energy appeared and hit Kefka with a popping sound. Kefka laughed, indicating that the energy didn't hurt him. Then he hurled a blast of energy at Ixquic with such force that she was thrown back several yards. She landed at Kairi's feet.

Kairi bent down to help her up. "Are you okay?"

"My back hurts," Ixquic says. "It seems I have fallen. But my life and school suck anyway. I, Ixquic, shall die a martyr!"

Kairi slapped her. "Don't say it's okay to die! You shouldn't throw your life away!"

"I don't really want to die," Ixquic quickly explained. "I just said that cause it sounded cool."

"I think she hit her head when she fell," Auron said.

"Hey, clown-face!" Gordon yelled. "Why don't you pick on someone your own size?"

Kefka indicated a dark-haired man running toward them. "Like that guy?"

The man brandished a katana. "As the mayor of Doma City, I order thou to leave!"

"Stand back," Auron said to the stranger. "Unless you've got a death wish."

"I feel a strange animosity towards Kefka," the man said. "I cannot stand idly."

"How do you know his name?" Gordon asked.

"I...don't know. Just a feeling I had. The feeling that thou can only say in French."

"Reddition?" Gordon asked.

"No. When something feels oddly familiar..."

"Deja vu?" Auron suggested.

"Yes, that's it. I feel like I've been through this before. I shall aid thee!"

"Who are you exactly?" Gordon asked.

"Oh. Forgive me for not introducing myself. I'm Cyan Garamonde."

Gordon shook his hand. "I'm Gordon Pleiades. This is my wife, Maia."

"I'm Kairi Aquine," Kairi said. "Nice to meet you."

"Auron," Auron said.

"Now that you've gotten your introductions out of the way..." Kefka cried. He had moved closer to the party. "Let's get this party started!"

Kefka's theme music, "Dancing Mad", began to play in the background. However, no one could see any musicians anywhere.

"I swear I've heard this before," Cyan said.

Kairi raised her Keyblade. "To quote Ixquic, I shall whoop your..."

Kefka screamed with laughter. "That is the girliest sword I've ever seen! Just because you're a girl doesn't mean your weapon has to be all cute and flowery!"

"Well, excuse me!" Kairi said. She felt something in herself stir. _Naminé_?

**Ever heard of a limit break, Kairi? It's when one focuses all their energy and does a rather powerful attack? **

_Yeah. I recall watching Sora and Riku unleashing them. Ragnarok, Ars Arcanum, Eternal Session, and so on. So what...?_

**Watch this! **

Kairi became vaguely aware of warmth spreading through her body. A white and yellow blur flew upward. Kairi realized that Naminé had projected herself from their shared body.

"What's that thing?" Kefka asked.

Naminé, though onlookers could only make out a little blob, gathered up white energy in her hands and fired it like a laser.

Kefka screamed as the light burned him. He slumped.

Naminé descended and returned to Kairi's body.

_What was that?_ Kairi asked.

**A trick I learned from DiZ and Riku when I lived with them in Twilight Town. I focused and externalized my power. I never used it, since it has an unfortunate side effect of erasing memories. I had hoped to erase Kefka's memory, but Calamity's power far outweighs mine. It's called "Ethereal." **

_Pretty cool_, Kairi thought. _Can you do it again? _

**Sure, but I need a rest first. **

"Now's our chance," Cyan said. "He's dazed!" He dashed toward Kefka and ran around him, striking swiftly with his katana five times. He leaped into the air. "Sky Render!" Cyan dropped, bringing his sword down on Kefka's head and almost splitting his skull.

"Ouch! Now I have a headache!" Kefka complained, regaining his sense.

Gordon charged Kefka, and slashed with his machete, first diagonally from left to right, then right to left, up and down. He raised the sword high. Brilliant white light flew from the machete's blade and hit Kefka. Several more bright lights exploded, almost like camera flashbulbs. "Blinding Blaze!"

Auron raised his sword. "This is for the fallen!" He hit Kefka with the heavy Yoshitsuna three times, knocked him into the air, and slammed him down. "Soul Evocation!"

Kefka gasped. "That hurt. And so will this! Ultima!" Green energy appeared around Kefka and radiated outward.

FOOOOM! The resultant explosion sent Kairi, Gordon, Cyan, and even Auron to their knees. Every building in a mile radius collapsed, with most of their inhabitants killed instantly. Those lucky enough to survive attempted to climb out of the piles of rubble with little success.

Maia held up her staff. "Mediarahan!" Green light surrounded the party and healed all their wounds. Some lucky souls nearby also were healed. "Be careful. I don't think I have enough energy to cast another spell."

Kefka grabbed Kairi and swung her around before launching her in a building. There was a sickening crunch. "I'm not allowed to kill you, Sappho, or your husband. But Calamity didn't say anything about the Princess."

Kairi staggered to her feet. She grabbed her right arm with her left hand. "My arm! It huuuuuurts!"

"Let me look at it," Gordon said.

"Give me a potion! Or better yet, an Elixir!"

"We used them all up in Mundania!" There was another explosion. "And Kefka just blew up the item shop."

"Then find someone who can do something about it! Give me a Vicodin! Do something!"

"Kairi, you need to let me look at it. I know how to set bones. There's a good chance you broke it." Gordon looked at Kairi's arm. It was bruised heavily. A large, open wound was visible, with something white sticking out of it. "OK, it's definitely broken. You're leaving it open to infection if you don't get it treated! Let me splint it."

"I want a doctor!" Kairi wailed.

Meanwhile, Cyan and Auron were trying to hold out against Kefka.

"He's incredibly strong," Cyan wheezed, looking with dismay at how chipped his sword was.

Auron dropped the Yoshitsuna. "Even I have limits."

"Let's try using my summons." Maia took out the necklace. "Willie!"

There was a gust of smoke, and Willie appeared. He was wearing a clown costume, complete with white face makeup and a bozo nose. He laughed while crying, spouting water from his blow hole that struck Kefka.

Auron buried his face in his hands. "It's the ultimate humiliation. Having an operatic whale fight for me instead of a proper aeon."

"Come on, it's kind of fun," Gordon said. "You need to lighten up while you still can."

Willie spun around and changed into a black cape, wig, feathered cap, and fake mustache. A pit of fire appeared around him. "Je suis Mephisto!" He spewed fire as he sang. "Roi de l'enfer! Je veux!" He blew a large gust of wind at Kefka, pushing him away. "Ta vie!"

"Mephistopheles?" Cyan asked. "What's next? The princess from _Aida_?"

Kefka flew uncontrollably in the air, hit a building, and fell to the ground with a crash.

A little boy ran to Cyan. "Daddy, why is there a big singing whale in the middle of the street?"

"Yes, Cyan dear," A blonde woman in a pink dress joined them. "What's going on here?"

Cyan looked at them. "Owain? Elayne? I told you to get out of here!"

"The roads are all blocked with debris," Elayne explained. "It's not safe."

"And it is here with this madman on the loose?" Cyan asked.

There was a scream. Kefka had found a fishing supply store and plunged a giant harpoon into Willie's body.

Willie stared at the gaping wound. "Not again!"

Maia held up the pendant. "Confine!"

Willie turned into wisps of pyreflies, which flowed into the pendant.

Maia took out the silver bell. "Kolyada!"

Kolyada descended along with a liberal shower of holly leaves and ice crystals. She looked directly at Kefka and raised her arms. "Frostbite!"

Kefka screamed as millions of sharp icicles impaled him. "Firaja!" Giant fireballs appeared and melted the ice. He glared at Kolyada. "That hurt, you little brat! Take this...Ifrit Caress!"

Kolyada let out a sharp cry as several giant fireballs pelted her.

"You're an elf, aren't you?" Kefka asked. "If I remember correctly, elves hate iron." He dropped to the ground and smashed the window of a weapons store. Kolyada cast a quick cure spell on herself and descended.

Kefka levitated several swords and knives and hurled them at Kolyada. The first struck her in the stomach. More hit her chest, arms, palms, and legs. She slumped to the ground.

"I'm sorry, Lady Sappho..." Kolyada gasped. Golden ichor soaked her white cloak. "I've failed you."

Maia kneeled down and pulled out the blades. "Go home, Kolyada. I can handle this."

Kolyada nodded and vanished.

Maia took out the black summon gem. "I summon thee!"

A crack appeared in the street and glowed red. Chernabog burst out, as if it were an erupting volcano. The sky turned black.

"Night on Bald Mountain" began to blare, drowning out "Dancing Mad."

"Hey!" Kefka hopped up and down. "How dare you interfere with my glorious theme music?!"

"What is it with villains and theme songs?" Gordon asked.

Kefka snarled. "Banishment!"

Chernabog vanished into vapor, which Maia caught with the black jewel. The sky turned blue.

"If you could just banish those summons, why didn't you just banish Willie and Kolyada?" Gordon asked. "Why go to the effort of hurting them?"

Kefka shrugged. "Cause beating up the cute ones was fun. And they didn't drown out my theme music!"

"I have to stop this," Maia said. "I'm going to Kefka."

"We should leave this town," Auron suggested. "Kefka will follow us. We can go somewhere deserted."

"No," Maia said. "We'd abandon the helpless souls here. Look around you. People are suffering because of me. I led Kefka here."

"This isn't your fault," Gordon said. "Kefka's the one who's blowing up everything."

Maia sniffled. "Can you not hear them? The voices of the dead and the dying. They need me. I have to ease their pain."

"A long time ago," Auron said. "A summoner died and left me alone. I vowed to never let it happen again. And I intend to keep that vow."

"Oh?" Maia asked. "You're challenging me?"

"To stop you from doing something stupid, like allowing Kefka to kidnap you. If that happens, Maia, you'll die." Auron picked up his sword again. "We can't take Kefka in a straight fight. We need to retreat."

"And you will stop me from facing Kefka?" Maia asked. "How?"

"By physical force, if need be." As they spoke, Auron flew backward, as if he had been hit by a truck.

"I gave you new life," Maia said. "I advise you not to waste it."

"How did you do that?" Kairi asked. "You didn't even move!"

Maia closed her eyes and folded her hands. "I'm not going to just let Kefka take me. I'm going to fight him."

"But Kefka will just banish your summons. Your magic reserves are depleted. And if the Yoshitsuna can't put a scratch on him, what makes you think your staff will?" Gordon asked.

Maia's body began to glow. A pair of white feathered wings burst from her back, shredding the back of her dress.

Auron got up. "Think it through, Maia."

"I am touched by your concern," Maia said. "Thank you, Sir Auron. I wouldn't have gotten this far were it not for you." She turned to Kairi. "Kairi, I never did thank you for materializing Sora. Thank you, for saving my son."

"Don't worry about it," Kairi said. "What's happening?"

Maia turned to Gordon. "Gordon, I'm sorry. I had hoped to see our son again, and apologize. But I guess it wasn't meant to happen. Take care of Sora for me. And please, don't ever let him know what a low-life failure I was." She kissed him quickly on the lips. "If I start to reach a critical limit, I will perform a Soul Transfer. It should be enough to cancel out the soul linkage so you won't die if I do. We cannot both leave our son, after all."

"You'll die?" Gordon said.

"I will not lie to you," Maia said. "My greatest power is far too much for this mortal body to withstand. Just remember, I was truly happy when I was with you. I love you. I always have, and I always will."

"Maia, don't go!" Gordon protested.

Maia turned. "Kefka! This ends here!"

Kefka smirked. "What is this beautiful power coming from you? I want it all for myself!"

Maia raised her right arm. "I am Sappho, the Tenth Daughter of Destiny! The Eleventh Child of Mnemosyne! I am your master! Though this body is mortal, come to me, Hikaritsurugi!"

A brilliant flash like lightning came down from the sky and struck Maia's hand. A beautiful golden beam of light was resting in Maia's hand. She had to clutch it with both hands.

Kefka smirked, raised his own hand, and hurled a fireball at a nearby retirement home. There was another explosion.

"Stop it," Maia said, raising the brilliant light.

"They were Pine-Box-at-Bedside anyway," Kefka said, he levitated several fragments of the destroyed retirement home. "My orders are to bring you back alive, but Calamity said I could rough you up a little bit if you got too uppity." The pieces of the building flew at Maia.

Maia leaped up, and swung the light, which was apparently tangible. The light disintegrated everything it touched, turning Kefka's projectiles into nothing but dust.

"What is that?" Kefka cried, hopping up and down.

"Technically, the Hikaritsurugi, the Eleventh Holy Weapon. The Sword of Light," Maia explained. "Able to rend even the deepest darkness. But I'll settle for your doom."

"Oh, yeah, Lady Valkyrie?" Kefka glowed. "Oh, ancient and beautiful goddess of doom, I call forth the flames of your judgment. I offer my body and soul to you, now honor thy pact and heed my call! CALAMITY FLARE!" Flames surrounded Kefka's body.

"Draw fire!" Maia cried. The flames flew toward her.

To Auron, Kairi, and Gordon's surprise, the flames dissipated. Maia's dress wasn't even scorched.

"My Calamity Flare didn't work!" Kefka cried, howling in rage. "The most powerful Great Magic fire Spell! This whole town should be ashes! She should be crying in pain!"

"Calamity Flare does not affect those related to Calamity herself," Maia said.

"All right...Ifrit Caress!" Fireballs struck Maia, creating clouds of smoke.

The smoke cleared, revealing an unfazed Maia. Her dress was slightly singed. There were some small burns on her body, but they were minor at best.

Kefka drew a large sword. "Guess I'll just have to get up close and personal!" He teleported behind Maia and slashed at her from behind. She whirled around and countered by bringing the Hikaritsurugi down on Kefka's head.

Kefka screamed in pain. "How can this hurt so much?!" He raised more chunks of the nearby demolished buildings. Maia easily slashed through all of them, turning them into powder.

"I guess I just have to get cheap," Kefka said. "Fallen One!"

A ghostly image of an angel appeared above Maia's head.

Maia leaped up and slashed at the angel with her sword.

The angel screamed and dissipated.

"What?! This isn't supposed to happen!" Kefka hopped up and down. "I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate HATE you, you vicious little brat!"

"Ultima Slash!" Maia said, slashing Kefka seventeen times in rapid succession.

Kefka gasped. His colorful robes were soaked in blood. One of his dark wings had been hacked clean off. Blood oozed from the stump. "Curse you! I can't die here! Valkyrie...AAAAAUGH!" His body dissolved, and tiny white lights flitted around and faded.

Maia herself tried to land on a roof, but slid off the incline. Her wings disappeared, as did the heavenly glow. A sharp roof tile scraped her right side, creating a foot-long laceration. She fell to the ground and lay still.

Gordon ran to her. "Maia!"

"I'm...alive..." Maia gasped. Her hands were burned black, up to the wrists. Her blue dress was covered in bloodstains. It was impossible to tell which blood was hers and which was Kefka's. She had landed on her left side, and both her left arm and leg looked deformed and crushed. "I'm still alive. Another...miracle?" Her voice was faint. "I said the Life Transfer incantation as I was falling. When I expire, you'll be safe." She tried to flip onto her back, but couldn't – an ominous sign.

"Please..." Gordon begged. "Don't die." He placed his hands on Maia's chest and side in an attempt to staunch the blood flow.

Auron turned toward the spectators. "Is there a doctor or cleric here?!"

"That was totally wicked!" Owain cried.

"That poor woman..." Elayne gasped.

Cyan looked dismally in the distance. "The closest hospital is in ruins. And I'm sure the doctors inside perished. She won't survive being airlifted to Thamasa Medical Center." He threw down his sword in frustration. "Damn it all!"

Kairi looked around. A blue door had suddenly appeared. It was just a door. There were no surrounding walls. The door seemed lit up by bright blue light.

"**That door," **Naminé said. **"We have to get Maia through that door. Quickly!" **

Auron scooped up Maia. "If you say so." Maia sank into unconsciousness and went limp.

Kairi raised her Keyblade. A beam of white light shot from the tip. There was the sound of a lock clicking, and the blue door opened.

XXX

Calamity's six other executive officers had witnessed the whole confrontation with Kefka on their viewing globe.

Hades palmed his face. "Holy crap. I haven't seen a finale that bad since Pompeii!"

Lezard looked worried. "Calamity told us the Hikaritsurugi was simply a failed experiment. But it was so powerful..."

"Better Kefka than us, right?" Cartman asked. "I didn't like him that much anyway."

Gant shrugged. "A fitting end for such a mad little clown."

"He should have known better," Marjoly added. "When a hero powers up like that, it's either run or get pwned."

"Except who's going to tell Calamity about this?" Loki asked.

All six turned toward the door. "Oh, Snoops..."

To Be Continued


	12. Blameless Thoughts

Kairi, Auron, and Gordon entered what looked like a lounge. The walls, carpet, and furniture were all blue. Lamps provided soft white light. There was a piano in the back, being played by a blindfolded man. Another man, dressed all in black, stood nearby, painting on an easel. A young, dark-haired woman in an evening gown stood by the piano and sang softly.

A gray-haired elderly-looking man sat on a sofa in the middle of the room. His nose was almost impossibly long. "Welcome to the Velvet Room. It's been a while since we had a guest. My name is Igor, and I'll be your host." He pointed to a flight of stairs. "We prepared a bed for the Lady Sappho."

Auron climbed up the stairs. Kairi and Gordon followed.

A door was open on the upstairs hallway, revealing a large bed.

Another woman, blonde haired and wearing a blue sheath dress, pulled back the blue bedspread and allowed Auron to place Maia gently on the bed.

_Naminé, _Kairi thought. _Was this such a good idea? These people look so creepy. _

**Appearances can be deceiving. Point is, they can save Maia. **

_How do you know? Have you ever met them? _

**Yes, when I first awakened as a Nobody. They serve Philemon. **

_I vaguely remember that name. From psych class, right? Philemon is sort of a spirit guide. _

**Yes. He's the Seventh Son, the Ruler of the Ego, the Revealer of Truth, and the Keeper of the Astral Plane. **

_Are you sure he's a good guy? _

Naminé giggled.

_Naminé, _Kairi asked. _I think this is the first time I've ever heard you laugh. _

**Philemon? Evil? It's absurd. He's everything that's good. **

Maia stirred in her bed. "Where am I?"

"Diarahan!" The woman glowed blue. A tiny pixie materialized in front of her. Golden light fell on Maia, instantly healing all her wounds.

"Elizabeth?" Maia asked.

Elizabeth handed Maia a glass of water. "Drink."

Maia did so. "Pirene water. I had forgotten how good it tastes."

"Feel better?"

"Yes," Maia said. "Thank you."

Igor joined them. "How is she?"

"Her vitals are stabilizing, but she's still weak." Elizabeth replied. "She'll need a lot of bed rest. We got to her just in time."

"Igor," Maia said. "There were so many people back there who needed my help..."

"Master Philemon will take care of it," Igor said. "Your only priority right now is to recover." He turned to Auron, Gordon, and Kairi. "I imagine you're all weary." He held up a tray of water glasses. "All of you, drink."

_Should we_? Kairi asked.

**It's water from the Sacred Spring Pirene**, Naminé explained. **It tastes good, and it will heal your wounds. It can cure the sick, and even inspire artists. Trust me.**

Kairi picked up a glass with her left hand and took a drink. It tasted wonderful. The pain in her right arm subsided. The bruising that covered the arm began to fade. She moved her arm. It moved easily, with no protesting pain. "My arm isn't broken anymore..."

Gordon took that as a good sign and downed his own glass. Auron followed suit.

Igor left the room and headed downstairs.

Maia sat up in bed. "I believe you're all wondering what the Velvet Room is. There is a plane that overlaps the Material Plane. It's called the Astral Plane, the plane of thought. This is a tiny pocket of the Astral Plane. My brother, Philemon, created this place as a sanctuary for his chosen human heroes. Here, they can rest and develop their spiritual power. The Velvet Room can be accessed from any world, through doors like the one you saw in Doma. Only those with Philemon's favor can pass through the portals. Time passes slower here than in the real world, so please rest as long as you like." She groaned. "I'm sorry you had to witness that..."

"'That' meaning Doma," Kairi observed. "It was kind of cool. Until you nearly died."

"What exactly was that weapon?" Gordon asked.

"The Hikaritsurugi?" Maia asked. "Years ago, my mother attempted to forge a Keyblade. The Hikaritsurugi was the end result of those experiments. It's light-based and can rend souls like a Keyblade. It also can't be held by anyone other than its rightful wielder."

"Which, apparently, is you," Auron observed.

"Yes. My mother gave it to me, for self-defense. I've only used it in practice battles against my sisters."

"Then how did you kick Kefka's butt halfway across Doma?" Kairi asked.

"It's practically automatic. It knew I was angry. But it's a Divine Weapon, which means it can't be held by a mortal."

"That's why your hands burned," Gordon said. "How could you still fight?"

"I worked through the pain."

"Maia, could you promise never to use it again?" Gordon asked.

Maia looked rather indignant. "It saved our lives. It's the most powerful weapon in our arsenal."

"It nearly killed you," Gordon reasoned.

"My mother told me that the Hikaritsurugi punishes the wicked. And from what I've seen, it's true."

"What, you think it hurt you because you're wicked?" Gordon asked. "That's stupid. Do you honestly believe that you don't deserve to live? That you don't deserve to be happy?"

"I don't think that. I know it's true." Maia pulled back her covers, as if trying to retreat into them.

"Please don't use it again," Gordon begged. "We'll meet up with Sora soon, and we won't need it. A Keyblade's stronger than it, right?"

"Yes. The Hikaritsurugi can't open locks or seal Keyholes. It also can't change the world. But I had to use it. Kefka was insane, power-mad, and dangerous. There was no reason I shouldn't have destroyed him! There's no reason I shouldn't use the Hikaritsurugi to protect my son from lunatics like Kefka."

"But at the cost of your own life?" Auron asked. "Do you want your son to be happy?"

"Of course. But I also want him safe. It's what any mother wants."

"But he won't be happy if you die! He loves you!" Kairi said.

"I don't want to die," Maia replied. "I just know that if I have to, to save my son, I would."

"You don't want death, but you don't fear it either," Auron observed. "In my experience, people this unafraid of it are either too used to it or have no experience with it. You dealt with death every day as a goddess, so I'm guessing you're too used to it. Mothers are hard-wired to protect their children at all costs. An evolutionary quirk. If your child survives to have more children, your genes are passed along. If mothers gave in to the urge to throw out their babies when they cry, the species would die out. Darwin's making the right call. But you're unnaturally sacrificing. You lost someone important, didn't you? Another child?"

"Are you speaking from the heart on this 'too used to death' idea?" Maia asked.

"By deflecting the question, you've just admitted it. Sora's not your first child, is he?"

Maia stiffened. "You can be a real bastard sometimes."

Gordon looked shocked. "Auron! It's not polite to ask those kind of questions point blank! I'll talk to her."

"Fine. Perhaps you can talk some sense into her." He left the room. Kairi followed.

Gordon bent down by the bed and held Maia's left hand. "Maia, I was scared today. More scared than I am of that stupid giant octopus that won't leave us alone. I never want to be that scared again as long as I live."

The sixth degree burns on Maia's hands had vanished. To her dismay, her left hand was bare. "I melted my wedding ring. I'm sorry."

Gordon was unfazed. "I'll buy you another one. See, there's the thing. I can replace a ring, but not a wife. Not a mother for Sora."

"There are other women. People get remarried all the time."

"I don't want another woman! I want you!"

"Even though I've brought you nothing but pain and sorrow? I should have gotten between you and my mother when she attacked you. The fireplace poker wouldn't have even scratched me. I should have gotten between you and Lionel all those years ago. He wouldn't have attacked me. I lost our first baby. And unless I can diffuse the disaster that will happen when Sora meets Calamity, I've killed our second child and possibly doomed the universe to live under Calamity's iron fist. How can you not hate me?"

"You're not this negative ordinarily. The realization of who and what you are is what's making you feel so bad. People feel guilty from time to time. It doesn't make them bad. I don't remember being a knight named Gareth at all, but I know I loved you then. I love you now. I don't know anything about the lives we've shared, but I know they were all happy. So you haven't brought me misery. What do you say we finish this? We find Sora, he kills Calamity, and we go home. I'll buy you a new wedding ring. I bought your old one when we were in college! I can afford a much nicer one now."

Maia smiled gently. "All right. I won't use the Hikaritsurugi. Not unless it's an absolute emergency."

Gordon reached into his backpack and pulled out the Jack Frost doll he had gotten from Santa's workshop. "I was going to give this to Sora when we meet him, but I'm sure he won't mind you borrowing it for a little while." He tucked the doll in with Maia. "I'll let you rest." He left the room, closing the door and rejoining Kairi and Auron at the foot of the stairs.

"I shall show you three to your rooms," Igor said. "But first, let my associates introduce themselves."

"I am Nameless," said the piano player. "My melody opens the closed doors of the heart."

"I am the Demon Artist," said the man with the easel. "I paint the gods and demons in your soul. You may call me 'D.A.'."

"I am Belladonna," the woman by the microphone sang. "I sing a song to awaken your inner warrior!"

"Think of us as your allies and friends in your journey," Igor said. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

Gordon palmed his face. "Can we please can the gratuitous cameos?!"

"You're in a Kingdom Hearts story," Nameless replied. "Get used to them."

XXX

Calliope was enjoying a brief moment of peace in her cell.

In the distance, there were footsteps.

Calliope tensed up, her heartbeat racing.

The footsteps became louder. Someone was coming.

The door opened, revealing Damon Gant.

"Mr. Gant..." Calliope said.

"I prefer Chief Gant," Gant replied.

"Chief Gant. Why are you here?"

"Just want to talk," Gant answered. "You look like you want to ask me something. Go ahead. Ask away!"

"Why did you become a police officer?"

"Why else, my dear? To protect others. Call it compassion."

"If you really had a shred of compassion, you'd release me." Calliope gestured to her chains.

"You know perfectly well why I can't do that," Gant chuckled. His eyes twinkled, reminding Calliope in some odd way of her good friend Santa Claus.

"Gant, I could help you. I could have your death sentence commuted. It's not too late to turn back and apologize for what you've done."

"Not interested. Since my angel Amity just made it go away. And since you're such a goody-goody, why don't you want to see me die?"

"I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, only that the wicked turn from his way and live."

"Hmph," Gant said, face transmuting into a stony expression. In that instant, Santa Claus was gone, replaced by someone less merciful. Perhaps one of the prophets, Samuel or Amos.

Calliope attempted to sway him again. "You could reconsider. Your seat in the Seven was originally going to go to someone else."

"I don't believe you."

"You don't have to. You know Calamity is wrong."

"I want to save the world, Calliope. I want to protect it. And for that, I need power. I lost all my power when I was disgraced. Amity gave me power, and I need her."

"So you came to taunt me?" Calliope asked sadly.

"No, I came to ask you something. Amity refuses to reveal where Kore's soul is, and I'm curious. I figured you might be withholding that information out of spite for her, so I thought you might tell me. Just between us friends, you understand...Cally-Wally?"

Calliope flinched at the nickname.

"You remind me of a woman I used to work with," Gant commented. "Smart, brave, beautiful. Willing to do anything to protect her sister...even die, if necessary." No answer. "It's in you, isn't it?"

"What?" Calliope asked.

"Kore's soul. You goddesses can hold souls in your own bodies, right? Mnemosyne wanted to put Kore's soul in a safe place. And what safer place than inside an immortal goddess? Plus, you're her favorite. It might explain why Amity was so desperate to get her hands on you." Gant gave Calliope an almost predatory grin. "I've had over forty years experience of interrogating difficult criminals."

XXX

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Everyone in the Gummi Ship was screaming as the ship crashed through the atmosphere of an unknown world.

"Wait...why are we screaming?" Clio asked. "We're practically made of elastic. We goddesses have survived worse."

"It's still gonna hurt," Erato countered.

The ship hit solid ground, skidded several thousand feet, and broke apart. The hatch opened. Everyone got out.

Mickey looked dismally at the wreckage. Several of the ship's Gummi blocks had fallen off, or melted with the intense heat. "Looks like we're stuck here. Where are we?"

"Marl Kingdom," Urania said, taking out a computer the size of a compact. "According to my GPS – Godly Positioning System."

The party looked around. They were standing in an open green field.

A darkness portal opened, and Nyarlathotep – as Roxas – stepped out. He still held the Oblivion Keyblade in his left hand.

"You caused this crash," Euterpe said. It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yup," Nyarlathotep said cheerfully. "You see, Calamity's seventh executive is quite adept at building Gummi Ships and pimping 'em out with lots of lasers. Says he's had lots of experience using Legos. Course, our fleet was built from the Gummi blocks he didn't eat..." He looked at Mickey. "I see you're back to your old self again."

"Yeah, no thanks to you!" Donald retorted.

"Gee," Nyarlathotep said. "Well, guess we can fight now. Give me all you've got."

Sora drew his Keyblade and charged forward.

Nyarlathotep stood unflinching, staring at Sora with the placid demesne of a matador. He remained motionless even as Sora came closer, raised the Keyblade, and brought it down.

But the instant it was supposed to hit Nyarlathotep, there was a flash of black light, and suddenly Sora was staring at two feet of silver and gold metal in...Urania? The Dainslef had entered Urania's chest and gone out through her back.

"Waaak!" Donald cried.

"That wasn't s'posed to happen!" Goofy looked horrified.

"Sora...it hurts..." Urania said. "Pull it out." Sora did so and Urania collapsed. Blood soaked her white shirt and dark jacket.

Sora whirled around. Where Urania had once been, there was a smirking Nyarlathotep. "How did..."

"I simply swapped places with her. Honestly, did you think I was going to let Urania get away with that 'pathetic bastard' comment?" Nyarlathotep threw his head back and laughed. "Fuhahaha! This poor goddess foresaw her own death...but she never thought you'd be the one to kill her!"

"Is this what Lorne was trying to tell her...?" Erato asked.

Polyhymnia ran to Urania and began to attempt to seal the wound. White energy flowed from her hands to the gaping gash on Urania's chest. "It's closing...thank goodness."

"It takes more than a hit from Dainslef to kill me..." Urania attempted to get up. "Ugh...though it still hurts like hell."

"Stay down!" Polyhymnia said sharply. "You could reopen it."

Clio glared at Nyarlathotep. "This is a new low...even for you."

Nyarlathotep ignored the insult. "Well, Euterpe? Aren't you going to go medieval on Sora's hiney?"

"Why would I?" asked Euterpe.

"Um, because he just stabbed one of your precious sisters. Duh." Nyarlathotep said. "Who cares if he's your little golden boy?"

"You did it!" Terpsichore replied.

Nyarlathotep snorted. "So if I kill someone, it's murder. But if Sora does it, it's okay. You're such hypocrites!"

"Urania," Sora said. "I'm so sorry!"

"You know what the worst words in the English language are?" Nyarlathotep asked. "'I'm sorry'. No matter how they feel, the person who hears that must forgive their trespasser. The person who says that runs away by pushing all the pain onto the victim! Are humans really so stupid as to believe a simple phrase can solve everything?! Why not just throw away the pretense of being sorry at all?"

"That's not true!" Riku snapped. "We can't erase the sins we commit, nor can we do the mistakes we make. But we live by forgiving and being forgiven in return."

"Yeah, since when are 'I'm sorry' mean words?" asked Polyhymnia.

"Oh, please, spare me," Nyarlathotep replied. "Is anyone ever really sorry? If Sora really cared, he would have watched where he stuck that god-killing weapon."

"He would have stuck it in you," Euterpe countered. "Had you not put an innocent girl in the way."

"Innocent?" Nyarlathotep looked rather offended. "She's trying to kill my mommy!"

"Your mother is threatening innocent people," Mickey said.

"She's merely taking back what's hers," Nyarlathotep argued. "Mnemosyne commissioned Kore to kill Mommy. Kore wasn't a hero. Just a lowlife assassin!"

Sora pulled out the Dainslef again. "You...you take that back!" Mickey and Riku also raised their Keyblades.

"You think that just because you have Keyblades, you can shape fate to your own image," Nyarlathotep snarled. "But it's time you learned that there are some things you have no control over! Now endure the final trial of the Crawling Chaos!" Nyarlathotep's black cloak seemingly melted, turning into a river of black liquid. The liquid crawled up, obscuring his face and turning him into a pillar of blackness. The pillar enlarged, the black liquid coagulating into layers. A humanoid figure rose out of the peak of the pillar of hardened black goop, clad in what looked like skintight black leather. It was a rather thin, unimpressive looking young man, with brown hair. He carried a double-edged halberd. The twin blades looked suspiciously like Riku's old sword, the Soul Eater. Indeed, it was an exact replica of the double-bladed spear that Xehanort's Heartless had wielded.

On the second layer, three more figures were forming. The first was a tall and heavyset man, with gray hair and thick beard. He held a futuristic looking gun, though he also had a large sword strapped to his back. The other two were dead ringers for Gordon Pleiades and Lionel Beechwood. Lionel held a nasty-looking barbed whip. Gordon brandished a one-handed sword.

On the third layer, five figures were forming. The first was Yen Sid, complete with conical hat. The second was an olive-skinned man with dark hair and even darker sunglasses. A third was a highly muscular man with ashen skin and a pair of swords on chains. The fourth was a thin man, with auburn hair in a ponytail. Unlike the black leather ensembles the others sported, he wore heavy metal armor stained with bright red blood. And the fifth was someone quite important to Mickey, Donald, and Goofy.

Goofy's eyes widened. "Walt Disney!"

Mickey's eyes narrowed. "He wouldn't!"

"How dare you use his face!" Donald raised his staff.

"Bow to my power!" The individuals roared, their voices in perfect unison. "I am the All-Father!"

To Be Continued


	13. Systematic Enemy

Sharon Beechwood tiptoed through her house. Her husband was asleep on the couch. Sharon bent down and kissed him on the forehead, then picked up the cordless phone. She moved to the upstairs bedroom and dialed a familiar number.

"Black Mountain Military Academy." A chirpy voice answered.

"This is Sharon Beechwood. May I speak to Commandant Kenni?"

"One moment, please."

A deep, masculine voice took the place of the high-pitched receptionist. "Mrs. Beechwood?"

"How are they?" Sharon asked. "Are they well?"

"They're well. But not good."

"What have they done?"

"Oh, the usual. Writing graffiti on the walls, goofing in the halls, throwing spitballs. Last week, the oldest one found a magic stone that released a giant dragon."

"What?!"

"We subdued it before it could hurt anyone, but our science building was completely destroyed. The authorities wanted to charge them with reckless endangerment, but…there's no precedent for summoning. And the military is particular about legality and precedent. They've got detention for a month, though. It's my detention, too. And you can be sure I'll run them ragged."

Sharon sighed. "I'm so sorry."

"Not to be rude, Mrs. Beechwood, but are you sure they're yours? Perhaps they're spawn of some ancient world-destroying calamity…"

"I doubt it, Commandant. Can you send them home on the next boat?"

"May I ask why?"

"Their father is getting worse. I fear this is it. They deserve to see him before…"

"I understand. I'll inform them immediately."

"Thank you, Commandant Kenni." Sharon hung up the phone. She climbed the stairs to the attic and walked straight to the darkest corner. A small wooden box lay on the floor, covered in a thick layer of dust. She picked it up and blew on it, causing clouds of noxious dust to billow. Sharon coughed and waited for it to clear.

_There's no turning back now, is there? _Sharon thought to herself as she opened the box. Inside lay five pristine black wax candles. _And if this works, will they miss me? Probably not. They'll be happy. _Sharon pulled a faded scrap of paper out of the box.

_I should have been more strict with them. I should have been mean. I should have used discipline. "Sharon Beechwood can't control her boys," the townspeople would whisper. Except Mrs. Aquine would practically shout. _

"_I've got just the thing," Priscilla Aquine said, with her patented friendly-neighborhood-pharmacist smile. Her voice was too sweet, like a pitcher of lemonade with a whole pound of sugar dumped in. Sickening, really. "Valium. Vicodin. Prozac. Mama's Little Helpers. Lionel isn't the only one in pain. I see the lines on your face. Such a shame. You were the prettiest girl when we were teenagers." Yes, Cilla, and you would have dashed my face with a razor if you could. But you settled for sharp words. _

"_The years aren't kind," Cilla continued. "Happening to all of us. Juliet Starcrest is undergoing premature aging…in her face as well as her mind. Leene Ginnem, too. She's consulted her plastic surgeon friend, if you get my drift. I myself have been tempted to see a plastic surgeon myself. The only woman of our generation who doesn't seem to be getting visits from the Wrinkle Fairy is Maia Pleiades. I wonder what her secret is."_

"_Maia Pleiades is a freak." Sharon wasn't fond of gossip – it was talk that killed for fun, but she had to participate in some of it in order for Cilla to concentrate. A longer nose did not exist on Destiny Islands or the nearby mainland than Priscilla Aquine's. _

_Besides, it wasn't hard to recall that Lionel had lusted for Maia once, and Sharon was content to hate her for that. _

_Cilla thought a moment. "You know Maia's mom went crazy. Tried to kill her. Called her a spawn of the devil. Hmm…wonder if Pleione Atlus wasn't as crazy as everyone thought?" She pushed the green and yellow pills forward. "Take em. Free samples from the manufacturer. If you like them, I could give you the number of a psychiatrist who can prescribe more."_

"_I don't need pills," Sharon replied. "I don't like them. I don't even take aspirin. I hate the way they feel in my throat." _

"_Lots of people swear by pills," Cilla said. "It's how I make my money. And let's face it. Without them, poor Lionel would already be ten years in his grave." _

"_A necessary evil." _

"_And these are necessary evils for you. Riku breaks your ribs? Pop a Mama's Little Helper to take the edge off the pain. Payment due exceeds accounts received? Pop to ease the anxiety. The Commandant calls to register the latest offenses of the Triple Terrors? Pop to help you fall asleep that night. A Mama's Little Helper will help you through your busy day. And when the weight of your cross becomes too much to bear, they'll help you through your busy dying day."_

Sharon folded the piece of paper over and over with shaky hands. Dried brown leaves fell to the ground, crumbling to dust. "Uh oh. Hmm...where am I going to find Hand of God at a time like this?"

XXX

Auron stood on a rooftop. Snow crunched under his boots. Thick white flurries swirled through the air, landing on his hair and coat. The sky was black, dotted with tiny white stars, matching the tacky lights on all the buildings. On the streets below, people in heavy coats ran to and fro underneath glowing yellow street lamps. They looked like tiny toys.

"Look at them," An aristocratic and petulant voice chimed. "Going about their worthless existences."

Auron turned to the voice. "Kandori? What are you doing here?"

Guido smirked. "Were you expecting Kinoc? Braska? Jecht?"

"Anyone but you. Aren't you supposed to be in spiritual sleep?"

"The true Guido is. I'm a creation of your mind."

"As a policy, I don't hold conversations with figments of my imagination, so if you would kindly shut up."

"You can't control what you dream, Auron. As much as you'd like to control everything in your life."

"This is a dream?"

"Only your second since before you shuffled off the mortal coil."

"Yes, I remember. That little girl who may or may not be another form of Yunalesca."

"Do you know who she is?"

"No. Who is she?"

"Don't ask me. I'm an extension of your subconscious. I only know what you know."

"I suppose it's too much to ask you to go away and let me sleep, right?"

"The sleep of reason produces nightmares. Aren't you even curious as to why you're having dreams again?"

"Indulge me." Auron said, boredly.

"Dreams are thoughts your brain produces while asleep. Even while you're not awake, your brain is continuously functioning. But when you died, you became a spirit being of sorts. You retained a material body, but it was the pyreflies keeping you alive. The organs in you weren't functional. Not anymore."

"So the hangover I got…"

"Means you're becoming more alive every day. Drinking all that alcohol will kill your liver. Back when you were dead, it didn't matter because your liver was already dead. This town is how you perceive the land of the living." Guido gestured to the people below. "Soon you'll be almost indistinguishable from them. Key word being almost."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"You don't want to be like them."

"You're saying I chose death? That's ridiculous. I enjoy the advantages death gives me, but I liked being alive too."

"You could have left our little Cesspool a long time ago. You just stayed there. Because you have nothing to look forward to in life."

"I had friends. I'd like to see them again someday, if I can."

"You had friends, but was there anyone special? Anyone you trusted?"

"I trusted Braska."

"Your old boss doesn't count. Don't you find it strange that an insane, nihilistic bastard like me can find love, but you can't?"

"That creepy fortune teller? She's not exactly a great catch."

"And there you go. Pointing out the flaws in others to distract them from your own fears."

"What fears? Life doesn't frighten me at all."

"At all? Are you certain?"

"I can walk the ocean floor and never have to breathe. Well, perhaps not literally anymore, but you get my point."

"Not even kissy girls with their hair in curls? They don't frighten you?"

"If I'm afraid at all, it's only in my dreams," Auron said. "And dreams aren't real. You're not the real Guido, as you said before. Now go."

Guido's visage faded into thousands of golden-colored butterflies.

XXX

Auron woke up and got out of bed. He slipped out of his guest bedroom and went down the hall. When he got to Maia's room, he listened carefully for snoring sounds.

There was sniffling.

Auron threw open the door. "What did you do to…" He stopped short.

Maia was sitting straight up. Tears were running down her face, and she was sobbing. She was dressed a white dressing gown. Her bloodstained dress was on the floor in a heap, along with crumpled up pieces of paper. A portable writing desk rested in her lap. Maia held an inked quill pen in her hand. "I beg your pardon?" Her voice was shaky.

Auron took a deep breath. All men panic when they see a crying woman, and Auron was no exception. "Please…stop crying."

"I can't help it…" Maia said, gasping every other word.

Auron snatched the letter on the table.

"That's private!" Maia snapped. "Give it back!" She reached for the paper, but Auron held it above her head. Clearly frustrated, she pounded the writing desk. Her ink bottle bounced up and toppled. Ink spilled all over her lap and hands. "Oh…dear." She put a hand to her cheek, accidentally smearing blue ink on her face.

"For heaven's sake, clean yourself up," Auron said. "You look undignified."

Maia stomped to the nearby bathroom and slammed the door.

Auron glanced at the letter.

_Dearest Gordon, _

_I'm so sorry. You seemed so confident that I'd be able to return home with you at our journey's end, that I didn't have the heart to tell you the truth: I will not go home with you. I want to, believe me. But the fact remains I have committed a horrible crime. I have endangered Sora's life. To harm my own son is cause for my death alone, but to endanger a Keybearer is an even worse sin. I will be judged. As my sister Euterpe often says "All sinners will be judged. No exceptions." Harming a Keyblade Master is threatening the world itself, and I must die. After Calamity is gone, my mother restored, and Sora is safe, I will fade into the mist. I will tell Sora the truth of his heritage, and I will apologize for making him Calamity's target. But I have lost the right to hug him or hold him. _

_You have forgiven me for the consistent mistreatment of you, and for that, I'm grateful. But to hurt a Keybearer involves forces above us both. But don't despair. It was always my fate to die: unwept, unattended, and alone. _

_I have included a mimeograph of an old Christina Rossetti poem as a reminder of what must happen when all is said and done. _

"_Wife to Husband" (1861)_

_Pardon the faults in me,_

_For the love of years ago_

_Goodbye_

_I must drift across the sea_

_I must sink into the snow_

_I must die_

_You can bask in this sun,_

_You can drink wine, and eat:_

_Goodbye_

_I must gird myself and run_

_Tho' with unready feet_

_I must die_

_Blank sea to sail upon_

_Cold bed to sleep in_

_Goodbye_

_While you clasp, I must be gone_

_For all your weeping:_

_I must die_

_A kiss for one friend, _

_And a word for two,--_

_Goodbye: --_

_A lock that you must send_

_A kindness you must do:_

_I must die_

_Not a word for you,_

_Not a lock or kiss,_

_Goodbye_

_We, one, must part in two_

_Verily death is this: _

_I must die. _

Maia re-entered from the bathroom. She had washed the ink off her face and hands, as well as changed into a fresh nightshirt.

"What is this?" Auron asked. "Besides something to make your husband cry? And you know he will."

Maia folded her arms crossly. "Do you always read other people's mail?"

"When it's upsetting my client that much, yes."

"It's still rude."

"I'm only fulfilling my duty to you."

"Why did you pick me up in Doma? I'm grateful, but rendering medical aid is not in your job description."

Auron reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper. "Let's see. I think it falls under 'doing everything possible to keep my client alive until termination of guardianship.'"

Maia held out her hand. "My letter, please."

Auron handed it over. "Why do you think you deserve to die? You know it's not true."

"Any mother who nearly kills her child deserves to die."

"You didn't do anything wrong. You're just using this as an excuse to disguise your desire to die."

Maia looked indignant. "I don't want to die. Don't say something that horrible!"

"I seem to remember you attempting a fifteen story fall in Radiant Garden. Why?"

"I was trapped in a dream, re-enacting what happened all those years ago. I think Calamity was trying to get me to commit suicide."

"She can do that?" Auron filed this information for later use. If _Calamity _was behind the Guido and Creepy Little Girl dreams, that was another story altogether.

"Sure. She can manipulate memories and dreams, just as my mother and sisters can. Look," Maia sniffled and wiped her nose with a lace handkerchief. "Dying wasn't fun the first time. I don't want to repeat it."

"If you don't want to die, why did you write this letter?"

"When my mother is restored, she'll demand that I return to Castle Oblivion and abandon my husband. But I'd rather die again than lose either Gordon or Sora. My mother will either erase my memory or kill me. Simple as that. No one defies the Memory Queen."

"I despise the gods. What's one more to confront?" Auron asked.

"You wouldn't harm my mother," Maia retorted. "Even if you could kill her, the worlds will collapse."

"I highly doubt she'll kill you anyway. She resurrected you, didn't she? She wanted you to live. Parents who kill their children don't show interest in resurrecting them."

Maia shrugged. "Do you want children yourself, Auron?"

"Was that a serious question?"

"Yes."

Auron looked genuinely confused. "Why would I want to be around noisy little brats?"

"I thought you said you helped raise a child."

"Only because I promised his father. It was my duty."

"Do you think about anything besides your duty?"

"What else could I think of?"

"Love, perhaps?" Maia suggested.

"Ever consider that if you never loved, you never would have died?"

XXX

Gordon tossed and turned in his bed. Try as he might, he couldn't shake that awful image of how Maia looked when she hit the ground back in Doma. The warmth and the flow of her blood under his hands. How the bleeding wasn't stopping when he applied pressure to the wounds. Whether the blood on her dress was Maia's or Kefka's, only a PCR machine would be able to determine, but Gordon had a sinking feeling that the majority of it belonged to Maia.

_Every breath was labored. Her skin was almost white. She could barely move. She couldn't turn on her side. _That indicated her spine had been damaged. _My EMT training told me not to move her until her neck is immobilized with a cervical collar. With head and neck trauma, you shouldn't take chances. I was too scared to pick her up. Fear that she'd die in my arms. But there wasn't any time...Auron knew this and scooped her up. He knew that he had to be fast, or she really would die. He isn't afraid to take chances. He's not afraid of anything. _

_And the way he held her...it was the way someone would carry a loved one. _

Gordon sat up in bed. "I suck at this hero business." He got up and paced around his room. He tried to comfort himself by trying to think of how Maia looked now, all safe and snug in her blankets. With her hair messy, but darling all the same. "She wouldn't even have had to draw such a terrible weapon if I could get rid of Kefka. And if I had stood up to Ultros, she wouldn't have needed to summon Auron." Gordon stood before a wall mirror. "I'm so scrawny." He glared at his reflection. "This is where the tough guy punches the mirror in disgust." He shook his head. "Except I'd hurt my hand. And can I even shatter the stupid thing?" He waited. "Dad, I know you can't hear me right now, but it's better than talking to myself. What should I do? I can't just go home."

"_Do you know what entropy is?" Gordon's father had asked, just before Gordon's wedding. _

_Gordon thought a minute. "In physics, it's something to do with heat transfer, right? _

"_Yeah. Randomness of molecules in a system. But it's sometimes used to describe how messy houses get, and you have to put energy in the system to get it clean again. A similar principle governs society. Things fall apart, the center cannot hold, and anarchy is loosed upon the world. Civilizations crumble, empires fall. In fact, a tidal wave could easily come and wash this town away. And no matter how important a person you are, you'll still die and the world will just keep going on without you. So what's the point of life?" _

"_You could think like Nietzsche and say there is no point."_

"_Oh, please. The guy only got laid once. I'd be cranky and nihilistic too."_

"_Yeah, I'm not too keen on contracting syphilis and going crazy." _

"_Well, you want to know what I think the point of life is?" _

"_What, Dad?" _

"_To do as much as you can to counteract entropy. Protect the world, raise good kids. I notice your bride-to-be still blushes."_

_Gordon's cheeks turned red. "Dad!" _

"_How many kids do you intend to have?" _

"_I'm not sure yet." _

"_Your brothers and sisters have all moved back to the ancestral home. Will you be following them?" _

"_Of course not. I love this island. I want my kids to grow up here." _

"_I apologize for not giving you more, my firstborn. I'm only the second-born of my lord your grandfather. I shalt never grant you the august Lord Pleiades title." _

"_I don't care about titles. I only care about the life Maia and I are going to build." _

"_And how will you provide for your wife? Taking pictures?" _

"_Go ahead and make fun, Dad." _

"_No, it's a great legacy. And you'll leave behind some photographs long after you die. Kids in the distant future might open their history textbooks and see one of your works." _

"I wish you had just laughed," Gordon said. "Taking pictures isn't exactly helping my wife much." He turned away from the mirror. The reflection looked weird – it made him look about twenty years younger. He decided to go explore the Velvet Room. He left the guest room and went downstairs.

Igor and Belladonna were gone. The Demon Artist was also nowhere to be seen; his easel looked abandoned, sad even. Nameless was still at his piano, playing. Elizabeth was also sprawled on one of the plush couches, playing with tarot cards.

"You're awake," Elizabeth said. The cards levitated from her hands and landed on the nearby coffee table in a neat stack. "Shall I read your fortune?"

_If she lived in Puritanland, she would have been burned at the stake_, Gordon thought, taking a seat on Igor's armchair. "OK."

"All those who enter the Velvet Room embark on a journey of self-discovery," Elizabeth said. "Some, like the Princess of Life, already know who they are. You and I, on the other hand, are seeking the truth to our existences." She pointed to the stack of cards. "Shuffle them."

Gordon did so and handed the cards back.

The cards floated from the deck. Six of them landed on the table in a plus-sign formation. Four more landed in a vertical row. "Shall I begin?" Elizabeth asked.

"I'm ready," Gordon said.

Elizabeth flipped the first card over. "The Ten of Wands. Your heart is heavy. You're doubting your own worth."

"That's right," Gordon said.

Elizabeth revealed the next card. "This card represents your current influences. The Queen of Pentacles." The card showed a woman seated on a throne, holding a large coin. A pentagram was inscribed on the coin. "A nurturing, down-to-earth woman who shows concerns for others. She's noble and generous, and intensely loyal to her friends and family."

"Maia," Gordon said.

"You wish to protect her, yes?" Elizabeth asked.

"Of course."

Elizabeth showed him the next card. "Your goal or destiny. The Nine of Cups. A wonderful card. The card of wishes. Dreams that come true. Emotional peace. Happiness. What is your deepest desire?"

"My wife being happy again. And our son returning home for good."

Elizabeth flipped the fourth card. "The distant past. The Tower card." Indeed, the card depicted a tower struck by lightning. Two people were in free-fall from the ruined structure. "Unlike the Nine of Cups, this is a disastrous card. Chaos...crisis...misery. Grief over a broken relationship."

Gordon blinked. For a brief second, one of the figures tumbling from the tower looked just like a younger version of Maia. As in, her high school yearbook picture.

"But the Tower isn't all bad," Elizabeth said. "The dramatic changes it entails are often for the best."

_If that had never happened, would Maia and I be here today? If that had never happened, Sappho would still be alive. Alive, but never knowing true happiness. A caged bird, a dove that must not coo. "_So what's next?"

"The influences of recent past events," Elizabeth explained. "The Ten of Cups. A period of peace and contentment. A supportive family. A special love relationship. Joy and happiness."

_We were all happy when Sora came home. I thought it was all over. We'd go on with our lives. Except life is not quite that simple. Of course Sora, the Legendary Savior, would be called away again. The Wheel of Time is in perpetual motion, and it doesn't stop just because you get motion sickness. Like my dad always says. Which proves what an asshole he is. _

"Next is the influence of the future." Elizabeth held up a card. The caption read 'Death'. It depicted the Grim Reaper holding a scythe. "But do not fear. The Death card symbolizes great change, either through literal death or metaphorical rebirth. Renewal. Personal growth through honest self-examination."

"You said literal death. Does that mean I'm going to die?"

"Or someone around you."

"That's not very reassuring. Unless it's Auron. He's already dead."

"Momento mori," Elizabeth replied.

"Remember your death," Gordon said. "My Latin's rusty. That's about the only thing I remember."

Elizabeth held up a card illustrating six cups. "This is the attitude you ought to have for the present. The Six of Cups. It advises you to concentrate on pleasant, happy memories of good time to comfort you in times of trouble. And to let go of the bad."

"I only wish I could. What's next?"

"Environmental influences." The next card showed a young man holding a pentagram-inscribed coin. "The Page of Pentacles indicates a young man, usually under thirty. He is high-spirited, optimistic, and makes friends easily. Loyal, honest, trustworthy. Does this describe anyone you know?"

"My son. Sora."

"Ah, the Savior. You must be proud."

Gordon looked down at the table. "Only two more."

Elizabeth picked up another card. "The ninth card in the spread represents your innermost emotions. The Nine of Wands. You are emotionally and physically tired. There are no easy answers to your problems, but inner strength and perseverance will see you through. You must fight to the last, no matter how bad it gets."

"And the final card?"

"Your most likely outcome." She flipped the card. "Temperance." An angel was pouring water from one cup into another. "Adaptation. You will achieve balance and control over your life. The water can also represent the past flowing into the future. That you reconcile the person you used to be with who you are now."

"You mean Gareth? He's dead."

Elizabeth picked up the cards and proffered them to Gordon. "You can keep these. I have plenty of decks." She looked at Gordon. "You puzzle me."

"Why?" Gordon asked.

"You complain that you have no power, but I can feel it in you. It's just trying to break free."

"What do you know about power?" Gordon responded.

"Megidolaonn!" Elizabeth waved her arm. Nameless' piano disintegrated. Wood fragments flew everywhere. Gordon raised his arms to shield his face, all the while lamenting the loss of such a beautiful thing.

Elizabeth smiled serenely. "A few things."

Nameless groaned. "Not again…"

XXX

"Naminé?" Kairi asked. She was lying in bed, in her own section of the Velvet Room.

**Yes? **

"How do you know the Crypt-Kicker Five? Igor, Nameless, Belladonna, Elizabeth, and D.A.?"

**Crypt-Kicker Five? **

"Yeah. I'm waiting for Boris Pickett to show up. They're not human, so what are they?"

**I'm not exactly human either. **

"Well, you're kind of intangible at the moment..."

**I like being here. It's cozy without being confining. I can watch things from a distance. When you talk to people, nobody's staring at me. No one's judging me.**

"Yeah. They're judging me."

**Do you resent me being here? **

"No!" Kairi protested. "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me! If I ever get bored and lonely in the middle of the night, I have someone to talk to. I still say you should introduce yourself to my parents. They've been wondering why I've been buying art supplies like crazy."

**I'm sorry. **

"No, no. I like it when you do your art through me. I feel creative for once. My art grades are shooting up. In fact, all my grades have improved since I met you. Sure, it's a drain on my pocketbook, but now I might have a shot at a higher class rank than Little Lulu!"

**Um, about graduation...**

"That's not for another two years."

**Have you thought about what you're going to do when you graduate? **

"What I'll do? Go to college, of course. We're shoo-ins for the PiPis..."

**PiPis? **

"Only the richest, most exclusive sorority. Dr. Ginnem was a member, my mom was a member...which makes me a legacy. They have to pledge me. Plus, I've got the looks and style. My daddy's rich. All I'm missing is an unhealthy obsession with my weight, but two out of three isn't bad, right?

**They look sleek and elegant from a distance, but sorority girls are really...snooty. And mean. They remind me of Larxene. Do you really want to be like them? **

"Come on, Sora and Riku are going to join a frat. College is all about having fun."

**I can see Roxas and Riku in a frat, but not Sora. **

"Sora pleases everyone. He'd do it for Roxas."

**But what about after college? What are you going to do then? **

"Here's an idea. I can major in art, and you can get all the art training you need. Then you can do your art thing. I use my name and become a famous artist."

**That sounds like fun, but...**

"But what?"

**I thought about becoming a psychiatrist. Help people with their memories and their personalities.**

Kairi sat straight up. "Do you know what you have to deal with to become a shrink? Medical school. Grueling, boring, expensive. And for what? Then you have to do an internship on starvation wages. With nurses who think they're better than you. Attendings, who are often called 'offendings.' Getting yelled at by everyone, including the jerk Chief of Staff. Residency, more of the same. And finally, specialty. And that's the worst part. Know why? Because psychiatrists deal with crazies. Autistics. Paranoidiacs. Schizos. And the real scum of the earth: the criminally insane."

**Can they be any worse than the Organization? I'm used to dealing with psychopaths. **

"Psychopaths? I guess they were all nuts, but was Roxas?"

**I don't know. I didn't know him then. **

"Huh?"

**We met in Twilight Town. **

"But why did you wait?"

**I wanted to speak to him, believe me. But I couldn't. The Organization kept me in the farthest reaches of the castle. I wasn't allowed to go near him. **

"Why not?"

**They were afraid that if he got near me, Sora's memories would surface. Hyper-resonance. **

"But I thought Roxas lost his memories."

**You can remember things unconsciously. There was a famous case of a patient with anterograde amnesia. **

"What's anterograde amnesia?"

**When a person has problems making new memories. **

"And what happened?"

**He played Tetris, and then he said "I dreamed of colorful falling blocks, but I don't know why." He could remember the game, but not that he played it. The Organization was afraid that Roxas would see images from Sora's memories unconsciously, and that Roxas would start asking too many questions. Memories and dreams are eternally connected. **

XXX

_Green fields and rolling hills stretched for miles. Two young women lay at the base of a cypress tree. An uninformed onlooker might think they were two ordinary teenage girls, gossiping about clothes and boys. They would never guess that one was the savior of the many worlds, and the other the memories of those worlds. _

"_Mnemosyne?" One of the girls sat up. "What do you intend to do now?"_

"_I'm not sure, Kore." Mnemosyne replied. "I've only thought of my life in context of my sister. I don't know where to go from here." _

"_Why didn't you let me destroy her completely?" _

"_Can you really obliterate Oblivion? I don't think anyone can. Not even you." _

"_So what will you do with her?" _

"_Give her some time in spiritual sleep. Maybe then she'll chill out." _

"_And if she doesn't?"_

"_Then I'll ask you to raise Dainslef for the last time." _

"_Just tell me, and I'll come. I promise." __Kore raised her right hand. The beautiful gold and silver Dainslef appeared, glistening in the sunlight. "Do you trust me?"_

_Mnemosyne held out her right hand. "Yes. I do." _

_Kore gently lowered the edge of the blade against Mnemosyne's palm, drawing a thin line of blood. Then she cut her own left palm._

"_I, Kore Noble," Kore began. "Do pledge on my father's name, my life, and my sacred honor; to return in the event that Oblivia threatens the universe again. With Kingdom Hearts as my witness, I pledge thee." She extended her bleeding hand. _

_Mnemosyne shook it. "I, Mnemosyne, the Queen of Memory, do solemnly swear to protect the worlds from my sister. Kingdom Hearts, the summation of all hearts, hear this vow." _

"_And so it will always be," Kore said. "Blood covenants are forever binding."_

"_So what do you intend to do now?" Mnemosyne asked. "You've earned a break." _

"_I wouldn't mind dancing with a cute boy." _

"_Well, why don't you ask the next cute boy you see to dance with you?" _

"_It's not that easy..." _

"_Why not? Let's find a party. There are so many worlds out there. There must be a single guy who'd gladly dance with you." _

"_I can't...I can't dance." _

"_Can't dance? You don't know how to dance?" Mnemosyne sat up, surprised. "In all your travels, you never learned?" _

"_No. My mother always said dancing was too undignified for a young lady. Too passionate. Intimacy has its place in the bedroom, not in public." _

"_And your friends never taught you?" _

"_Never had the time. Every time I solved one problem, three more would spring up." _

"_Well, here. Let me teach you a few dances." Mnemosyne held out her arms. "The basic box step begins with you putting your hand on the guy's shoulder, he puts his hand on your waist, we hold the other hands." _

_Kore moved forward, but tripped on one of the tree roots. She grabbed one of Mnemosyne's dress sleeves, but ended up pulling Mnemosyne down. They fell to the ground, giggling. _

"MNEMOSYNE!" Calamity boomed.

**What?! **Mnemosyne asked, sounding annoyed.

"Why are you reliving that memory?"

**Just trying to retain some psychic function in this state.**

"You won't go gentle into that good night, then? Fine. May the best sister win. And Kore won't save your sorry can this time."

**She promised. And she always kept her word. **

"She's going to be as helpless as you are when she awakens. I'll see to that."

**You haven't gotten her yet. And you've already lost one of your key allies. Plus your other six executive officers seem a little...dysfunctional. **

"They're playing Halo 3 without screaming or hair pulling. How is that dysfunctional? Compared to how your daughters get along…"

"Calamity!" Lezard yelled from the next room. "Cartman's team killing again!"

**Um…**

"Their dysfunction is actually good for me. Negative emotions feed me. The anguish that your favorite daughter feels right now is quite nourishing. Why don't you feel angry at me? Sad? Helpless?"

**If I get angry or sad, it only makes you stronger. Taking comfort in my good memories is the way to protect myself.**

"What about all the good times we had, Mnemosyne? We had so much fun together. We were happy together. I was perfectly willing to share the kingdom with you, but...you asked Kore to put the Dainslef in me. How is that not betrayal? How is that not sororicide?"

**I had no choice. I had to turn against you. You were wrong. **

"I was wrong? Why shouldn't the humans bow to us?"

**They can solve their own problems. They do not need us to interfere in their lives. Only their deaths. Anything else is nothing but exploitation.**

"They need us. They want us to guide them. They'd pray and sacrifice, all so we can give them our favor. How is that exploitation? It's a partnership."

**No, it's you being a bully. Setting fires...**

"Hey, I made it rain sulfur. That's harder than just setting things on fire!"

**You're a petty tyrant, and I want nothing more to do with you.**

"You act like I'm the one who betrayed you, but you had me assassinated! And not just assassinated. Tortured. The Dainslef pierced my heart, ripped out my innards, shattered my skull. And when I begged Kore to spare my baby, she just tore me open. And you stood there and watched! And then after I was dead, you stuck me in this body. You were buddies with the person who killed me. You replaced me with a stupid, ugly, worthless peasant girl! I'm glad Kore's dead! I only wish I could have watched her breathe her last!"

**I always knew it was you. I just didn't want to believe it without proof. But how did you do it? **

Calamity ignored the question. "You must still care about me. You didn't let Kore destroy my soul. You showed me mercy. You still love me, don't you, Mnemosyne?"

**Oblivia...**

"Don't call me that. You always called me 'Livie'. Don't you remember?"

**Unfortunately, I do. I just want to forget. **

"That's so cruel. What have I ever done to you? I only kidnapped your daughters because you betrayed me first! Blood for blood. Kore almost took away my baby, so I'm going to take all your babies away from you."

XXX

Meanwhile, Nyarlathotep – as the All-Father – loomed menacingly above the party.

"Aren't you going just a bit overboard?!" Terpsichore asked, staring up at the forms. "Master Yen Sid alone could give a good fight. Adding all the others is just cruel."

"You really think turning into a composite of our fathers is going to scare us?" Euterpe asked.

"Yeah, do I look like Tidus?" Riku asked.

"Why is he...like that?" Donald inquired.

"Nyarlathotep takes many forms," Clio explained. "Sometimes a lot of different forms at once, like the monstrosity you see here. The true Nyarlathotep is one of the fathers. The others are essentially parts of him that act independently."

"So if we knock out the true one, the others will vanish?" Donald asked.

"Yes, but the others will protect him at all costs. We have to take out each one individually." Clio drew her bow. "Prepare for a long fight."

"Oh, joy," sighed Erato.

Polyhymnia raised her wand. "Field barrier!" A large, clear dome materialized around Sora and his party. "This is soundproof, so don't worry about Nyarlathotep overhearing us in here. Problem is, it won't last forever."

"So what do we do?" Riku asked. "This isn't like our previous fights."

"No duh," Urania commented. "The three mages will pound us with spells from a distance, Bowman will heal, and the melee fighters will cream us. Kratos alone could easily KO most of us."

"Which one is he?" Goofy asked.

Euterpe pointed to the ashen-looking father. "Him. The Ghost of Sparta. Surprised you haven't heard of him, Sir Goofy."

"Yeah," Erato said. "He's only the guy who murdered the freaking God of War!"

"Let me guess. He's your father, Euterpe. Isn't he?" Riku asked.

Euterpe looked confused. "How did you know?"

Riku shrugged. "Just a guess. The vibe of rage he seems to be putting out is similar to your 'Kill Mode'. And none of the other daddies here seem to fit your...sparkling personality."

"Hmph," Euterpe replied. "Nevertheless, I don't wish for you to be ground to a pulp by a copy of my father. I'll distract Kratos while you guys take out Bowman and the Mages."

"That might be hard," Polyhymnia said. "See that tacky armor Bowman's got on? Bloody Armor."

"Not _the _Bloody Armor," Mickey said. "Nullifies both physical and magical attacks."

"But it drains the user's health," countered Clio. "But then again, he'll counter it by mixing Megalixirs, won't he? He _is _a pharmacist."

"And heal everyone else," Donald said grouchily. "Can we even win this? Maybe we should run."

"And go where?" Sora asked. "Our Gummi Ship is wrecked, Riku can't make dark portals anymore..."

"And teleportation spells take a ridiculous amount of time to cast," Urania said dismally.

"I could try to split the Bloody Armor," Riku offered. "If we can shatter it, Bowman will be vulnerable. Take him out, take out the healing."

"Unfortunately, two of them can regenerate themselves, but Bowman's the top priority," Terpsichore said.

"Poly, can you maintain reflect spells?" Sora asked.

"Yes, but why?" Polyhymnia asked.

"Cut down on the damage the mages do. Make them waste time casting dispel on us, too. I can only hold my reflection shield up for a few seconds, so it's not practical for me to do Reflect duty."

"Um, Great Magic spells can't be reflected. Neither can Ultima," Donald informed.

Sora's face drooped. "Darn."

**I think that calls for a stronger word. **Roxas said.

Sora ignored him. "So how do we not get blasted by the spells?"

"It gets worse," Urania said.

"I don't see how!" Terpsichore whined.

"There's three of them," Urania continued. "Fusion spells. And you can bet that Walt will be the last to go. The last in the fusion modifies the damage. But we can nullify them until we get rid of Bowman and start in on them."

"How?" Goofy asked.

"We've got mages, too," Urania said cheerfully. "Myself, Clio, and Donald. Also, we've got Mickey for light spells if Nyarlathotep opts to use a dark fusion. If Donald, Clio, and I cast a fusion of the opposing element, they'll cancel each other out."

"But how do we know what element to cast?" Clio asked. "Nyarly has the advantage of his parts sharing a single mind."

"I'm psychic," Urania replied. "I'll figure out which one they're about to cast. I'll signal the opposing element. Donald begins the fusion, then I'll cast the next spell. And then Clio. One thumb up is fire. Two thumbs up is ice. Two fingers in a V-for-victory sign means earth. Waving both hands frantically means light. One thumb down is wind. Two thumbs down is water. Holding my hand out as if to say 'talk to the hand' means lightning."

"That's a lot to remember," Donald said crabbily.

"Well, you have to," Urania snapped, hands on her hips. "A few seconds could cost us everything! If I'm too obvious telling you guys, Nyarlathotep will just change the spell and then we'll be screwed!"

"We're already screwed," Riku said. "We'll just be more screwed than normal."

"When we shatter Bowman's armor and whale on him so he can't mix his megalixirs, then what?" Erato asked.

"Target the weakest of the mages," Euterpe said. "Troilus Dardanelle was a normal mortal."

"Do you guys have any objections to attacking a blind man?" Urania asked. "Speak now, or forever hold your peace."

"He's blind? I thought the glasses were just to look cool," Riku commented.

"He has second sight," Urania explained. "So he'll have no problems whacking you with his cane if you get close."

"Second sight?" Goofy asked. "Does he have another pair of eyes somewhere?"

"No. It just means he can see, though his eyes aren't functional." Urania sighed. "It's hard to explain. You'd think my dad would have been able to foresee his own death. Or maybe he welcomed it. I don't know. All I know is that thing is not him."

"Right," Mickey said. "No matter what happens, don't ever believe that those are our fathers!"

"I recognize my dad and Sora's dad, but who are the other two?" Riku asked.

"The guy with the gray beard is named Macbeth," Terpsichore explained.

"After Shakespeare's Macbeth?" Donald asked. "Didn't he die at the end?"

"He's more like the historical Macbeth, actually," Terpsichore corrected.

"Didn't the historical Macbeth die like a thousand years ago?" Sora asked.

"This might be a problem," Terpsichore continued. "But reports of Macbeth's death have been...exaggerated."

"Exaggerated?" Goofy repeated.

"He can't die," Erato chimed in. "At least, not in the technical sense. He's immortal."

"So how do we take him out?" Riku asked.

"He can 'killed' temporarily, but he'll revive. If we can knock out the Macbeth clone long enough, Nyarlathotep will cut his losses and reabsorb that part," Terpsichore suggested. "Same with the last one."

"Whom I'm guessing is the true Nyarlathotep," Erato commented. "The halberd says it all."

"But that weapon was used by Xehanort's Heartless," Sora protested.

"Where do you think he got it?" Erato asked. "Come on. Xehanort could hardly go two sentences without mentioning darkness. And what is Nyarlathotep but darkness?"

"So who's the last one?" Mickey asked.

"His name is Peter Petrelli," Erato explained. "There are certain worlds where genetic recombinations that grant superhuman powers occur often. Peter's genetic makeup allows him to permanently learn or mimic skills from those around him."

"Does that extend to using Keyblades?" Riku asked.

"Nah, Keyblade wielding is a rare exception," Erato said soothingly. "Like the forces that be would ever allow Nyarly to wield a Keyblade."

"What about the Oblivion?" Sora asked. "When he was Roxas?"

**You should say 'like Roxas.' I'm not as fat as he was. **

"That was an illusion," Euterpe explained. "It didn't radiate the same magical signature as the other Keyblades."

"Oh," Sora said.

The magic shield was beginning to flicker.

Polyhymnia raised her staff. "I can provide a few defensive spells. I'll stay out of the main fray and heal from a distance."

"At least they're all..." Sora began. The viscous black liquid between the different fathers began to melt, separating the father copies. "Clumped together?"

"Great, this just keeps getting better and better," Urania muttered.

"Should you even be fighting?" Clio asked. "The Dainslef..."

"I'm fine!" Urania snapped. "Stop treating me like a baby!"

Clio flinched. "Sorry."

The barrier around Sora and his party faded out entirely. The father copies charged, save for Peter.

Euterpe dashed forward, and met Kratos' flaming swords with her spear.

Erato raised her arm. "Icicle Edge!" Three giant icicles pelted Bowman and covered his armor with ice. Riku leaped into the air and brought his Keyblade down on the ice. The ice shattered, along with the Bloody Armor underneath it.

Mickey fired Pearl shots at Macbeth and Lionel, while Goofy tried to bash Gordon with the Star Guard.

Urania held two thumbs down.

"Tidal Wave!" Donald began.

"Ifrit Caress!" Troilus countered.

"Great Gale," Urania announced.

"Lo, ye shall look upon the calamities of heresy with beclouded eyes," Yen Sid chanted. "Petro Disruption!"

"Tidal Wave," Clio cried. "Vain Splash!"

"Ifrit Caress!" Walt Disney finished. "Meltdown!" A wall of fire appeared from the west...only to meet a giant wall of water from the east and be extinguished.

"It worked!" Clio said happily.

"Good job," Goofy said.

"Um," Mickey began. "When you guys said Peter can permanently learn abilities from others...does that include Great Magic?"

"I think so," Erato said. She smacked her forehead. "Oh no!"

Donald's beret flew up. "Waaak!"

"CALAMITY FLARE!" Peter yelled. The sky turned white and flashed. Giant walls of fire appeared and extended in all directions, burning the verdant grass. Thick, gray smoke filled the air and made it nearly impossible to breathe.

When the sky returned to its normal color, the ground was a scorched and blackened wasteland. Mickey, Riku, Donald, and Goofy were sprawled out on the ground, barely alive. Their clothes were covered in soot.

Oddly, Sora, the goddesses, and the father clones were all unaffected.

Polyhymnia began to heal Mickey while Erato assisted Riku. Euterpe continued to spar with Kratos.

Sora pulled out his Judgment Form Drive Orb, knowing the Drive Form would shield Donald and Goofy in case Peter tried to use the same spell – if only for a bit. "Give me strength!"

Sora's body glowed, and his clothes went white once again. He floated once more, but the ground below him started to turn green. The effect began to spread, until the field was again lush and healthy. White flowers dotted the landscape.

XXX

Meanwhile, Igor, the Demon Artist, and Belladonna were watching the fight with the All-Father through a square-shaped reflecting pool.

"As we suspected," the Demon Artist said.

"He possesses the greatest power of all," Belladonna sang.

"So, shall we tell Master Philemon?" Igor asked.

"You wake him," the Demon Artist replied.

To Be Continued

Author's Note: Whew, lots of references there. See if you can spot them all.


	14. When we are out there in the dark

Inside Radiant Garden's historical bar, the Happy Turtle, Sephiroth was paying homage to the time-honored ritual of drinking and complaining about his problems. Two men, one on each side, listened intently to Sephiroth's ranting.

"You know what sucks about being me?" Sephiroth asked. "Besides the obsessive fangirls who follow me everywhere? I am the most popular villain Square ever created, and yet Kefka got a better theme song than me. Have you ever heard the full cut of 'Dancing Mad' in its seventeen minute glory? Wow. It puts 'One Winged Angel' to shame. And what is up with that? So I have one wing. It looks cool. I'm supposed to be a fallen angel. I get it! Everyone gets it. No need to reuse the motif over and over again! I'm talking to you, Nomura."

"Kefka?" The man to Sephiroth's left, Sam McGwynn, said. "Didn't you hear?"

"Hear what?" Sephiroth asked, interest piqued.

"Kefka bit it!" Dave McGwire cut in from Sephiroth's right. "Permanently. Soul annihilation. As in 'Hasta la vista, so long, never coming back. Goodbye, cruel world.'"

"Game over, man," Sam agreed. "Game over."

"When?" Sephiroth asked.

"Three chapters ago," Dave replied.

"I see…" Sephiroth mused as the bartender refilled his glass. "I wonder if I can steal his theme song. I'm mad enough."

"Mad angry or mad crazy?"

Sephiroth shrugged. " A bit of Column A, some of Column B. The former because of the three hours a day I have to waste making my hair look this shiny and good. Did you know I have to use an entire bottle of shampoo and conditioner every time I take a shower? Well, I do. And it's not cheap. The latter because I want to kill my father, I'm obsessed with my mother, I think everyone is an absolute idiot who deserves to die, and I'm the negative memories of some stupid schizophrenic little brat who refuses to pay a freaking psychiatrist!"

The saloon doors opened, and a young man stepped in. He was dressed all in black, and his blonde hair was gelled into sharp spikes.

Sephiroth sighed. "And speak of the devil. Hello, Cloud. Long time, no snipe. "

If Cloud heard Sephiroth, he didn't acknowledge it. He walked directly to the bar. "Double whiskey and bourbon. And keep them coming."

Sephiroth turned on his bar stool. "Aren't you going to spout some rant about making your inner darkness go away? Wave your little sword in my face?"

Cloud shook his head. "No, I'm here to get plastered, not pick a fight. I'll Omnislash you after I've passed out, woken up in a strange place, and taken a cold shower. If anyone asks, I didn't see you."

"Can you at least tell me why you're not interested in slicing me to ribbons like you normally are?"

Cloud gulped down his first glass. "Let's just say there's someone out there I fear more than you and leave it at that."

Sephiroth nodded knowingly. "I get it. A woman."

Cloud frowned, motioned for another drink, and turned his head away.

"Aw, I wanted to see some epic swordfighting!" whined Sam.

"Shut up, Sam," Dave quickly snapped.

XXX

Gordon and Elizabeth were still chatting in the Velvet Room.

Auron closed the door to Maia's room quietly and came downstairs.

"While the Truth sleeps, we keep watch over the Material Plane." Elizabeth explained.

"Truth?" Auron asked.

"The Truth of the Dream," Elizabeth explained, as if it were obvious. "My master, Philemon. The Seventh Son."

"Ah, yes, Maia's brother," Gordon said. "How come we haven't met him yet? I hear Maia's sisters are out helping Sora, but..."

"Master Philemon is doing all he can to keep the worlds steady," Nameless cut in. "He's trying to keep the peace."

"But shouldn't the people be readying themselves for war?" Auron asked. "An evil goddess is on the loose. It's wrong to keep them complacent."

"If everyone gave in to the urge for aggression, it'd be disastrous indeed," Elizabeth said. "There'd be panic and chaos. Nyarlathotep and his mother both feed off negative emotion: anger, pain, hate, jealousy. It would make Oblivia stronger than ever, and the Keybearers would be at a disadvantage, wouldn't they?"

"I'd envy humanity, were I capable of feeling emotion," Nameless commented.

"Envy?" Auron asked. "Why would anyone envy us?"

"Humans deal with the three Poisons – anger, ignorance, and vengeance – and a lot of other negative emotions," Nameless began. "But they also feel joy and love. And the melody of those feelings shall forever be burned into my heart." He brushed his hands off. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must replace my piano. Elizabeth, help me roll the new one out here."

Elizabeth curtsied. "Certainly."

Auron waited until they left to speak. "I hate this place. I feel the constant resonance of human thought."

Gordon sighed. "If you listen closely, you'll tap into some really nice dreams. I just wish I could sleep."

"Then stay awake. It's better than dreaming."

"Do you have dreams, Auron?"

"I was dead for a long time. Dead men don't dream."

"I meant hopes and wishes," Gordon amended.

"A little whelp in the Cesspool once told me 'Embrace your dreams.' I told him I didn't have any to embrace. What use are dreams to a dead man?"

"Were you born fully grown?"

Auron looked confused. "Say again?"

Gordon continued. "Because I can't imagine you as a kid. Ever. Have you ever smiled in a way that wasn't completely sarcastic?"

"I did have a childhood, but that was a long time ago. It has no relevance to who I am now."

"Thinking young while growing older is not a sin. What did you want to be as a kid?"

"I knew what I wanted. To defend others."

"See? You wanted to be a hero. Because who doesn't? What little boy doesn't want to be a samurai, or a knight? But only a few become heroes. So you must have done something right."

Auron said nothing.

"I'll only ask this once. Teach me to be a hero."

"You ask the impossible," Auron replied simply.

"Before I met you, I never once felt bad about myself. How do you think I feel now? How do you think I feel about being worthless? How do you think I feel about you being the knight protecting my princess? How do you think I'll feel when I see Maia's glove pinned to your sleeve?"

"If that happened, I assure you it'd be a reminder of my failure...and not her favor, as you imply. I don't find your wife desirable."

"How is Maia? Is she...better?"

"She fell asleep. So you can't jump her."

"Excuse me?"

"I said I'd protect her from anyone, even if that includes her pervert of a husband."

"Pervert?!" Gordon looked surprised. "That's the first time anyone's ever called me that."

"All men are pigs. The only difference is the degree. Have you thought any dirty thoughts about her in the past three days?"

"Well...yes. But I don't see how it's any of your business."

"She's on a quest to rescue her son. I doubt she's having carnal thoughts about you. Can't you control yourself? I've seen proof you can't."

"Proof?" Gordon asked. "What proof?"

"Sora. I assume he's only around because Maia forgot to take her pill one day."

"But isn't pig a bit strong?" Gordon protested. "What if I had said no?"

Auron smirked. "I would have called you a liar as well as a pig."

Gordon folded his arms. "Do you work at being such a jackass, or does it come naturally?"

"Only a jackass can change the world."

"Really? I thought all they were good for was trying to get themselves killed in stupid stunts on MTV." Gordon yawned. "I finally feel tired. I'm going to get some rest."

"I think I will, too." Auron said. He sighed. "I'll have to get used to sleeping again."

XXX

The fight with the All-Father wasn't going well. Since Sora merged with Goofy and Donald, Erato had to take the second place in the mage sequence. Clio, Erato, and Urania effectively managed to block Yen Sid, Walt Disney's, and Troilus' spells, but they were unable to contribute to the fight. Sora, in Judgment Form, had to distract Peter, while the others tried to whale on Bowman. However, Macbeth, Gordon, and Lionel attacked the heroes in rapid succession. Bowman himself was quite a master of defense, throwing exploding or toxic pills at anyone who came near him.

Euterpe was occupied trying to distract Kratos, using her spear to keep her distance. However, she lost her footing.

Kratos seized the opportunity and grabbed Euterpe, slammed her to the ground, and swiftly punched her.

Mickey swiveled around and hurled his Keyblade at Kratos' back, striking it dead center. Kratos whirled around around and swung his swords at Mickey, who nimbly backflipped out of their path.

Riku whistled admirably. "Mickey's got guts."

Sora shuddered. "I know I'm not supposed to be afraid of anything, but that Kratos guy scares the socks off me!"

"How about this?" Peter asked. He crossed his arms over his chest and glowed white. Gordon and Macbeth disappeared. Peter's skintight black leather suit now had gold and blue trim.

"He can drive?!" Sora cried. "But how?!"

"He learned your ability," Erato explained. "You got too close to him."

"Rats," Sora said. His clothes returned to normal. Donald and Goofy reappeared. "Uh oh."

Lionel cracked his whip, barely missing Riku. "Ever heard the phrase 'spare the rod, spoil the child'? I think I should have listened to it. But it's not too late for a little retroactive spanking!"

Riku backed away. "You're not my dad!" He rolled backward, near Troilus.

Troilus cackled and whacked Riku with his cane.

Erato drew her gun and shot Troilus in the chest. He gasped and clutched at the hole the bullet had made.

Polyhymnia raised her staff. "Ye of detestable name and virtue, false apostle, thou art bade back to the abyss! Seraphic Law!" She pointed her wand directly at Bowman and the three mages. A spear of brilliant light descended from the heavens and impaled all four. The mages shrieked, but weathered the attack. Bowman, however, screamed and melted into a puddle of black ooze.

Polyhymnia looked satisfied. "Good riddance, you disgusting imitation of a disgusting man!"

Peter raised his halberd. The ooze gravitated toward him and osmosed into his body.

"Guess that confirms Peter's the true Nyarlathotep," Urania commented.

"The mages are frazzled," Donald observed. "Let's finish them with a light fusion."

Urania clutched her orb. "Holy!"

"Ultima!" Donald cried.

"Hieros Glupaine!" Clio added.

All three called in unison: "Pantheon!" A beautiful, golden feathered bird materialized, spread its wings, opened its beak. A bright yellow light shot out and spread across the battlefield, hitting all the father copies. The three mages dissolved into black goop, which Peter reabsorbed.

"Finally, the tide's turning," Goofy said.

Polyhymnia moved toward Sora. "Sora...I..."

Peter struck Polyhymnia with his halberd.

"Poly!" Sora cried.

Polyhymnia quickly cast a curative spell on herself. "Actually, that was the push I needed. I have an idea."

"I'm...trying to listen," Sora said. He was holding his Keyblade to block a flurry of Peter's blows. "Go ahead."

Polyhymnia leaned forward and whispered in his ear.

"Good idea," Sora said. "Make another field barrier."

Polyhymnia did so. "I think I know how to finish this."

"Speak up," Euterpe said. "I'm open to new stratagems." She wiped sweat off her brow.

"Well, I can do my limit break," Polyhymnia explained. "For those who don't know, my limit break temporarily makes me and my allies invincible. Individually, our limits hit our targets several times and do extreme amounts of damage. And Sora can attest to the fact that the final hit does damage in proportion to the number of hits in a combo. So if we chained our limits together on Kratos while invincible..."

"Because Kratos can't heal himself," Terpsichore observed. "And he can't hurt us. I like it."

"Except who goes last?" Riku asked.

"I will," Mickey volunteered. "There's this little quirk about 'Disaresta.' It does double damage to those weak against light."

"So are we ready?" Donald asked.

"Sounds like it," Goofy said.

The field cleared.

Polyhymnia folded her hands as if in prayer. "I pray my friends. Let their resolve not falter. "Principality Hymn!"

Tiny angelic figures made of light appeared around the party.

Kratos swung his swords at Euterpe, only to snarl as they went right through.

Clio drew her bow. "You're history!" She levitated and her bow transmuted into a crescent moon. "Crescent Nebula!" Clio fired. Thousands of light-elemental arrows fell to the ground and blasted Kratos.

Erato was next. "Rose Thorns!" She rapidly fired her gun. Each bullet grew spiked barbs and embedded in Kratos' body before exploding.

Terpsichore glowed golden. "Danse Macabre!" She grabbed the momentarily stunned Kratos and pulled him into a pas de deux. Several dancing skeletons appeared, tapping their feet and playing their ribs. Terpsichore let go of Kratos, who began to attack the skeletons. However, more skeletons spawned to replace the shattered ones. The skeletons kicked and twirled in an Irish jig.

Terpsichore bowed, then rose and snapped her fingers. The skeletons exploded, turning into sharp bone fragments that flew in all directions, damaging Kratos as well as the other remaining father copies.

Urania raised her orb. "Nova...scyther!" A brilliant light flashed in the distant sky, then a beam of energy descended and fell on Kratos. Urania collapsed, the orb falling from her hands.

Riku raised his Keyblade. "Eternal Session!" He dove forward and landed several blows in succession.

"Ready, Donald!" Sora asked.

"Ready!" Donald raised his staff. "Ultima!"

"Major Drive!" Goofy cried.

"Break!" Sora finished.

"Trinity Limit!" All three crowed.

"You shall be annihilated!" Euterpe cried, running forward and stabbing Kratos with her spear. She leaped in the air, wings appearing, and hurled her spear. "Divine Strike!" She landed. "Now, Your Majesty!"

"I've got it," Mickey said. "Disaresta!" He ran forward and managed to punt Kratos, then sliced twenty times in the air, the final one knocking Kratos back to earth. Thousands of giant Pearl orbs fell – several hit the cringing other father copies. Mickey hurled his Keyblade, which landed in a massive explosive that left a crater and sent up a giant cloud of dust.

When the dust cleared, all that remained of the Kratos copy was the same viscous black ooze.

Peter reabsorbed the ooze. The light surrounding him dimmed, and Macbeth and Gordon reappeared. Macbeth and Gordon both looked exhausted. They stood hunched, their eyes bloodshot and dull.

"Apparently, Peter's bonds with those two aren't as strong as yours with Donald and Goofy," Terpsichore said to Sora. "Their merging was less symbiotic than parasitic."

"That's awful!" Sora cried.

"To be fair, they're all Nyarly," Clio said, helping Urania to stand. "Are you okay?"

Urania gasped. "I think I reopened my wound. Is it okay if I sit the rest of this out?"

"Fine. We're almost done anyway," Clio replied. "I'll stay with you."

Sora ran forward, toward the Gordon copy. "How dare you try to imitate my dad!"

Riku slipped behind Gordon and beheaded him with one quick and forceful slice. Gordon transmuted into black sludge. "Well, he is as pathetic as the genuine article."

Euterpe plunged her spear into Lionel's chest, turning him into black goop.

Macbeth swung his sword with ferocity that belied his exhaustion, keeping Mickey and Goofy occupied.

"Any ideas?" Terpsichore asked. "Macbeth can't be killed. Well, he can be, but not by us."

"He can be knocked out," Euterpe recalled. "And he can die 'temporarily'. He'll just revive. How about blunt force trauma to the skull?"

"But what do we use?" Polyhymnia asked. "None of our weapons can be used as a good bludgeon."

"Wrong." Donald took out a purple and red hammer. "The Violetta. I always carry this in case I run into a magic-resistant enemy or the identical creeplets."

"OK, pretend it's one of the triplets," suggested Terpsichore.

"WAAAK!" Donald screamed, running toward Macbeth, leaping in the air, and bringing the Violetta down. "Put hot mustard in my pies, will you?!" Over and over, Donald swung the Violetta, making sickening thudding sounds.

"Donald!" Sora cried. "You can stop now!"

Donald looked down. The Violetta was covered in the familiar black goop. "Oh. Heh."

"Well, Poppy," Erato taunted. "Looks like you're the last man standing."

Peter said nothing. He raised his arm. "Psych wave!" A wave of white energy swept over the party, knocking over everyone except Goofy and Erato.

Goofy turned to Mickey's side. "Your Majesty!" He attempted to shake Mickey awake, but to no avail.

"It's a psychic attack spell," Erato explained. "It traps people in their own minds. The only way to break it is to defeat Nyarlathotep. I might be immune to it, since I'm Peter's daughter. But why didn't it affect you?"

Goofy scratched his head. "I dunno."

"Perhaps you have a double layered skull," Erato suggested.

Sora stirred. **"Or perhaps he doesn't have a mind." **

"Roxas?" Goofy asked.

"**How did you know it was me?" **

"Sora wouldn't be so mean."

"**Oh, right. Guess when Peter buried Sora's psyche in our collective head, mine was pushed to the surface. I'm in control of the body for now." **Roxas yawned.

"You seem tired," Goofy said.

"**That's because this flesh is Sora's. It's not my body. It takes a lot of effort for me to remain on the surface."**

"Roxas, give Goofy the Makai Wars!" Erato interrupted.

Roxas dug through his pockets until he found the gauntlet and handed it to Goofy. "As long as you wear that, you can hold anything. Even a Divine Weapon. The Organization tore the worlds apart looking for it."

"Which is what I'm getting at," Erato continued. "My father can't be killed permanently because his body regenerates so rapidly. But there was an incident where he was technically dead. A large hunk of glass got stuck in his head and lodged in his brain stem. He wasn't breathing and his heart wasn't beating. When the glass was removed, he returned to normal. All we have to do is repeat the incident." She held up her gun. "One bullet from the Etoile should solve things." She gestured to Goofy. "I leave it to you, Sir Geef."

"Why me?" asked Goofy. "You're a better shot."

"My defense isn't so great," Erato explained. "I...I'd be hacked apart before I could get in range. Your Star Guard can nullify any frontal attacks. I'll cast NulBlaze to protect you from Peter's Calamity Flare."

Goofy slipped on the Makai Wars and took the gun. "But can I really do it?"

"I believe in you," Erato said. "And it's the only way you can save your friends."

"All right," Goofy said. He charged forward, shield in front.

Peter fired several beams of electricity, which bounced harmlessly off the Star Guard. "Uh oh."

Goofy fired once, missing by several inches.

"**Oh, for...aim away from Peter!" **Roxas screamed.

Goofy shot at Peter again and missed.

"**We're gonna die, I know it," **Roxas muttered.

Goofy concentrated, took Roxas' suggestion, and aimed away from Peter. The bullet pierced the back of Peter's skull.

Peter slumped to the ground and dissolved into what looked like black ink.

"**He did it?!" **Roxas asked. **"We did it?" **

"Wait..." Goofy said. "Something's not right."

The black fluid shifted and formed another humanoid figure, this one with jet black hair and white skin. He wore a light blue shirt, khaki pants, and a long yellow scarf. The new form threw his arms out. A black wave encompassed the battlefield.

Roxas felt himself sink back into the abyss of Sora's mind, and his vision faded.

XXX

In one of the Velvet Room's guest bedrooms, Kairi and Naminé were still chatting. Though it seemed more like a cross between 'chatting' and 'arguing.'

"If you want to be a shrink, why not cure yourself first?" Kairi suggested.

**Cure myself? I** **don't understand. **

"You hide from the world."

**Only because revealing myself would make you look schizophrenic and we'd be chained up in an insane asylum. And I'd have to hear all the memories of the people who suffered...**

"You can hear memories without the person being there?"

**Sure. If the memories are strong enough. Some places, like Castle Oblivion, collect memories. When I unlocked Maia's memories, I knew she was Sappho. **

"You knew about Sappho before Maia told us? Why didn't you tell me?"

**You didn't ask? Um...I can show you, okay? Close your eyes. I'm going to show you one of my memories. **

_Naminé and Larxene were in a beautifully furnished room. A four-poster bed occupied one corner. There was a large mahogany bookshelf filled with books. Beautiful artwork decorated the walls. A vase of lilies was on the nightstand. _

_Yet, there was something about it that made Naminé uneasy. The resonance of sadness. And traces of malice that surpassed even Larxene's cruelty. _

"_The pain and sorrow in this room is palpable," Naminé observed. _

"_This castle acts like a weird memory trap," Larxene explained. "All who set foot in it leave memories." _

_Naminé shivered. "Whose memory am I reading here?" _

"_Well, Mnemosyne had eleven kids, not ten. Her youngest brat was named Sappho. A passive little mouse. Not unlike you, Naminé Sappho killed herself by jumping from the highest tower. Some say it was a love affair gone wrong. You can see that very tower from this window. Imagine Sappho, weeping on that bed. Then looking out the window, and realizing her only avenue of escape. And..." Larxene giggled. "Splat." _

"_Larxene...may I please change rooms? I can't sleep here! The sadness...it's suffocating!" _

"_Don't be such a spoiled little princess! This room is fine. You ought to be grateful. It's a lot better than the dungeon in the Castle That Never Was." Larxene turned to leave. _

"_Larxene, please! Wait! Don't leave me alone!" _

**Larxene was mean. But I didn't care. I wanted someone -- anyone -- to be in that awful room with me. I **_**hated **_**the room. I hated the castle in general. It felt like I had been sealed into a crypt. Even DiZ's creepy old mansion was an improvement. **

"So I take it you're not real eager to go back to Castle Oblivion."

**I'll weather it for your sake. But I would never go back on my own terms. **

"How come you don't tell me about your time...apart from me?" Kairi asked.

**I don't want to bore you.**

"It wouldn't bore me."

**My life was not glamorous the way yours is. I have lots of bad memories, but they serve to make the good memories polished, glittering gems. And no one can take those away from me. Not even you. **

"Well, tell me about the good ones."

**Living with DiZ was a vast improvement over the Organization, even if Riku wasn't around much. **

"Didn't DiZ want to kill you?"

**Yes, but it's understandable. I'm a Nobody, and nothing will change that. And don't badmouth DiZ, considering your...our...connection to him. Nothing will change that either. **

"What does being a Nobody have to do with your right to live?"

**Nobodies? Have rights? Larxene summed it up perfectly: "Nobody is just a term for emotionless freak." She gave everyone silly nicknames, too. Xaldin was "Elvis" because of his sideburns. **

"What was your nickname?"

**Mine was "Freak Amongst Freaks." **

"Ouch. You gotta get over these self-esteem issues, Naminé"

**Nosce ****te ipsum. **

"What's that mean?"

"**Know thyself." Elizabeth taught me some Latin while I was here. And she showed me her collection of artifacts. You ought to ask to see them. I know she'd be delighted to show them off. She**** saves **_**everything**_**: mah jong tiles, platinum watches, dusty old tomes, tarot cards, crystals..." **

"Sounds cool. Maybe I will. Though I can see watches and mah jong tiles anytime."

**They're exotic to her. She's seen even less of the worlds than I have. She and the others can't leave the Velvet Room unless someone invites them out. **

"Hey, let's invite her out. And go shopping. I could use some new clothes..." Kairi gestured to her pink dress, which had a few unsightly dirt smudges and blood stains from the fight with Kefka. "So could she. What's her obsession with blue? Or your obsession with white? You should try something pink. Or red. And Elizabeth would look great in black."

XXX

Sora awoke. He looked around. He was lying on a colored stained-glass platform, surrounded by nothing but black sky. He stood up and gazed at the platform.

The platform depicted Sora himself, standing in the middle. His hands were cupped, holding a white butterfly. Roxas, in Organization garb, stood beside him. In his left hand, he held the Oblivion Keyblade and in his right a black butterfly. To Sora's right was someone Sora didn't recognize, a tall man wearing a butterfly-shaped mask. The stranger held a golden butterfly in one hand and a deck of tarot cards in the other.

There was no ramp or door in sight.

_Roxas? _Sora thought. _Roxas...please answer me! _

There was nothing, only silence.

_Roxas! Please...I'm afraid! _

Again, nothing.

"Roxas! Please! When I'm alone, sometimes I get frightened..." Sora stomped his foot. "Roxas! This isn't funny!"

"Your voice cannot reach him," Nyarlathotep, still in the pale-skinned form he had taken previously, descended from the black sky.

"What did you do to him?" Sora demanded. "Give him back to me!"

"Oh, I didn't do anything to him," Nyarlathotep replied. "He's still in you. You just can't hear him."

"Where are the others?" Sora demanded.

"Still on the Material Plane. This, however, is the Astral Plane. You've visited this place in your dreams. It'll be your final resting place." Nyarlathotep snapped his fingers.

"I won't give up!" Sora raised his hand to summon his Keyblade. The Keyblade appeared, but he couldn't wrap his fingers around the hilt. The Keyblade fell to the ground and vanished with a shimmer. To Sora's shock, he couldn't move his feet or his arms.

Nyarlathotep laughed. "Your Keyblade can't do you any good if you can't swing it!"

"You coward!" Sora growled.

"This is my element! In the material realm, I am but mortal. But here, in the Astral Plane, I cannot die. One of us won't be leaving. Care to guess which?"

Sora decided to take the route known to all heroes but more often used by sleazy politicians. He decided to filibuster. "So why do you like to induce people like Guido to do bad things? Like destroy the world. Darkness isn't innately bad. It's just...the absence of light."

Nyarlathotep snorted. "Ever hear the Bible story about Eve and the apple? You think Eve ate that apple because a snake told her to? Of course not. Who believes a talking snake? No. Eve chose to eat that fruit. The original sin was that humanity consciously chooses to do wrong – and will do so every time. It's the rumor or legend that humans have told for countless centuries. And it's not just Judeo-Christian lore. In every mythology, humans are evil and sinful. Even your friend Riku stabbed you in the back. You're just blind to the darkness in him. I am simply the reflection of humanity's wish for sin and destruction. I am not evil, only truthful. I am silver and exact. Is a mirror something to be hated and destroyed?"

Sora tried to think of a counterexample from his experience traveling the worlds or from his literature classes. He vaguely recalled Nyarlathotep's name from school. "Didn't Lovecraft write about you? I knew your name sounded familiar. We had to read those creepy stories about Cthulhu and Hastur for English class."

"I appeared to Lovecraft in a dream," Nyarlathotep explained. "He was nice enough to write a prose poem about me. I could not have asked for better advertising. Everyone knows my name. And they love me, they welcome me, they lust for me. Jun Kashihara, Riku Beechwood, Guido Kandori, Maleficent, Xehanort – all of them asked for my help. As long as darkness exists, I will exist. When I matured, I did attempt to kill Mnemosyne to release my mother. I approached her castle. She had just given birth to her seventh child, Philemon. A goody-two shoes like you, full of disgusting light. I thought she'd be an easy target. Weak from labor. Mnemosyne melded Philemon with me, then Calliope broke us apart." Nyarlathotep shook his fist. "Do you have any idea what that did to me?!"

Sora shook his head. "I'm guessing you didn't like it."

"Have you ever heard of the Holy Sword Dike? It is Calliope's Divine Weapon. A sword that does damage in proportion to the target's inner darkness. My heart is pure darkness. When Calliope brought the sword down, I was in agony. And Philemon wasn't affected at all! The fusion and the sword almost completely destroyed me. I was barely alive. I managed to creep back into the Astral Plane and I waited to regenerate. But I have never been as strong as I was before then!"

"Damage in proportion to the target's darkness?" Sora asked. "Is that why..."

Nyarlathotep ignored Sora and began to pace. His boots clinked on the stained glass platform. "Ever since the meld, Philemon has gotten in my way. Usually by aiding a bunch of intrepid, plucky heroes! I hate him, I hate Mnemosyne, I hate Kore, and above all, I hate you! You who surpasses all human limits, yet has a human spirit. An indomitable spirit, full of everything cheerful and positive."

"I am what I am," Sora said.

"Then see _me _as I really am." Nyarlathotep glowed an ugly green. His fingers lengthened, then lost their stiffness. More tentacles sprouted at random places all over his body. His pale skin darkened until it was a glittering blue-black. Angry white welts appeared all over him, taking on bumps and ridges within them.

Sora felt bile rise in his throat. He swallowed it, ignoring the taste.

"Congratulations!" Nyarlathotep screamed, his voice sounding like he was talking through sludge. "You're the sixth to see this form! Die, with my highest praise!"

"I won't die!" Sora said.

"The King won't come to save you this time!" A pulse of black light shot from Nyarlathotep's hideous visage.

Sora watched helplessly as the dark beam came closer and closer. _Someone, anyone...save me! _

To Be Continued


	15. We'll Dream About the Sun

Sora closed his eyes, anticipating the final, shattering blow.

But it never came.

Sora opened his eyes again. Someone was standing between him and Nyarlathotep's form, arms stretched out to protect Sora. Someone with long red hair and wearing a white dress. "Kore!" He cried with half-surprise, half delight.

Kore looked over her shoulder. "May I borrow your Keyblade? You're the rightful wielder now."

"Go ahead!" Sora said.

Kore extended her arm, and the glittering Dainslef materialized. She dashed forward and landed a strong blow to Nyarlathotep.

Nyarlathotep gave an inhuman scream. He began to transmute and shrink.

"You'll pay for that," Nyarlathotep was now in the form of Roxas. He charged forward and raised the Oblivion. Kore stepped back and countered.

There was a green glow, and suddenly Nyarlathotep was a moogle. "You wouldn't hurt something so cute?"

"When it's evil, yes," Kore replied, slicing off the moogle's pom-pom.

"Fine. Then I have to pull out the big guns." Nyarlathotep stretched, silver threads sprouting from the top of his head. One of the moogle's wings darkened and expanded, the other shrank to nothing.

"Oh no..." Sora groaned as the _Advent _version of "One Winged Angel" began to play.

Nyarlathotep imitated Sephiroth's famous hair flip.

Kore stared at the new form. "Um...is this supposed to intimidate me? A bishounen prettyboy in need of a haircut?"

"Kore, do you have any idea who that is?!" Sora cried.

Kore shook her head. "No." She swung her Keyblade, connecting with the Masamune. "I can see why he has this ridiculously long sword. To behead anyone who tries to get close enough to strangle him with his own hair."

"Give in to the dark!" Nyarlathotep conjured up several dark orbs.

"Refleja!" Blue-white hexagonal shields appeared around Kore. The dark orbs and the shields dispelled upon hitting each other.

Nyarlathotep levitated himself. "No mercy for the damned. Thus thou hast no escape from the grasp of catastrophe!" Several meteors fell and bombarded the stained glass platform. Smoke flew up.

When the smoke cleared, Kore was standing there – fresh as a daisy.

"What?!" Nyarlathotep cried. "How could you just withstand that?!" He sighed. "Didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice." He transmuted one last time – into a tall, gaunt man in his late forties or early fifties. He had thick red hair similar to Kore's and was wearing simple leather armor.

Kore staggered back. "Daddy?"

"That's not your father!" Sora called. "Don't get pulled in."

"But I..." Kore lowered the Keyblade. "I can't hurt him."

Nyarlathotep seized the opportunity, grabbed Kore by her neck, and began to squeeze. "Too easy. It would seem you haven't fully awakened yet, Maiden."

Kore could only gasp.

"Let her go!" Sora tried to move, but couldn't. "Someone! Anyone! Help!"

"No one's going to come to your rescue a second time!" Nyarlathotep snarled.

"As usual, you're wrong," A voice came. A golden butterfly flew by Sora and transmuted into a tall man wearing a butterfly mask. He wore a simple black shirt, black pants. His hair was pulled into a ponytail. It was the man from the stained glass platform. "Going soft after playing the father, Nyarlathotep?"

Nyarlathotep stared open-mouthed at the new arrival. "Oh, shit."

XXX

On Destiny Islands, Lulu and Chappu were strolling down the streets of town.

"Wakka says you saw a ghost girl," Lulu commented.

"She wasn't a ghost. She didn't look transparent. A little pale, but not see-through."

"I have my suspicions on who she is. I've been reading up on local folklore since..._this _happened."

"This?" Chappu sounded offended. "What's wrong with you, Lulu? I come back from the dead and you act like it's some sort of curse. It's a miracle! But my father shoots me. And you're with Wakka now. What's up with that?!"

"You were dead," Lulu said flatly.

Chappu snorted. "I thought our love was forever. That not even death could separate us. Guess you didn't really love me."

"I find rigor mortis a turnoff," Lulu stopped in front of the window of the local antiques store. "There. My heart's desire. The Mystic Sage wand. Capable of performing Great Magic." The Mystic Sage was a beautiful four-foot long golden staff intricately carved with mysterious designs.

"How much is it?" Chappu asked. "I've got some money."

Lulu shrugged. "You know how it is. If you have to ask, you can't afford it. If I had to guess...ten million munny. And that's conservative."

"Ten...million...munny?" Chappu gasped. "Well..." He puffed out his chest. "Faint heart never won fair lady." He went inside the shop. "How much is the Mystic Sage?"

The cashier grabbed the staff from the window and threw it at Chappu's feet. "Take it! Take anything! Just don't eat my brain, you damn dirty zombie!"

Chappu whistled and took the staff, then walked triumphantly out of the store.

Lulu gasped. "You did it!"

"It's all yours." Chappu handed the staff to her. "What did you want it for."

"It'll help in drawing your ghost girl out," Lulu replied.

"Why would you want to do that?"

"Why else?" Lulu tested the weight of the Mystic Sage in her hands. "To kill the bitch."

XXX

"You couldn't stay out of this, could you, Philemon?" asked Nyarlathotep.

Philemon fired a mystic blast. "Eternal White."

Nyarlathotep screamed in pain. "This isn't over, Philemon! Everyone save the Princesses has darkness in their hearts. Even your golden boy! As long as darkness exists, I will exist!"

"You're sounding like a broken record," Sora said.

Kore nodded. "The heart contains darkness and light, which are continuously conflicting. But the human heart can also arise as something complete. It is for those moments we live for." She grabbed Sora's hand. "And as long as you have existed, people have risen to stop you."

"Now it's time to draw on the strength of all the people who wish to stop him," Philemon said.

"How do we do that?" Sora asked.

"The bonds you have forged, Sora," Philemon explained. "Individually, they are small, but combined, they are a powerful force. Listen. Can you hear them?"

Sora could faint voices. He concentrated. "I think I can hear them. And feel them."

"Sora! I'll find you, no matter what it takes! I'll protect you, to the last drop of my blood!"

"Mom?" Sora asked.

"My son, I couldn't help last time. But things have changed."

"Dad?"

"Sora, don't forget me. I love you, and I'll always wait for you."

"Kairi?"

"Sora, you blockhead! Looks like we got separated again."

"Donald?"

"But, remember, our hearts will always bring us back together!"

"Goofy?"

"I have complete faith in you!"

"His Majesty?"

"You're fighting the good fight now, I'm sure. Stay out of trouble."

"Auron?"

"I'm praying for your safe return!"

"Polyhymnia?"

"Let him be okay! It goes against my nature to hope, but I can't help myself!"

"Urania?"

"Is there nothing we can do? No, I can't believe that!"

"Euterpe?"

"Our hearts are together. They will never die!"

"Terpsichore?"

"He has to be safe. Take my life if you must!"

"Clio?"

"I won't let the worlds be destroyed! And neither will he! I'm sure of it!"

"Erato?"

"Don't give up so easily. Or I'll kick your butt!"

"Riku. Yes..." Sora said as his clothes went white and wings sprouted from his back. "This power comes from all of you!" He took Philemon's hand in his left hand. Kore took Philemon's other hand. "I'm ready."

Nyarlathotep staggered back. "No...don't!"

"State your names!" Philemon called.

"Kore Noble," Kore said.

"Sorrel Pleiades," Sora added.

"And I am Philemon. In the same of Kingdom Hearts, we sanction thee, Crawling Chaos."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Nyarlathotep screamed.

"Great Seal!" All three called.

And there was nothing but light.

XXX

Kairi awoke to an appetizing smell. "Mom?" She opened her eyes and looked around. The blue bedspread was foreign, as was the wallpaper. Then she remembered. The Velvet Room and the quest to catch up with Sora. She got out of bed and went downstairs to investigate.

**Oh, wow. **Namine commented.

Kairi had to agree. A table occupied the Velvet Room's central hallway. Piles of food covered the table – waffles, pancakes, crepes, toast, pitchers of lemonade and orange juice, a full coffeepot, eggs, bacon, sausage, cheeses, and pastries. A note read "Compliments of Master Philemon. Enjoy! -- Your Friends at the Velvet Room."

Gordon came downstairs. Oddly, he was wearing Auron's clothes – red coat, body armor, and boots. He even held his left arm in a sling. The clothes hung ridiculously on Gordon's limp frame.

Kairi stared. "Um...Gordon. Auron actually has muscles to fill those clothes out. You can't really pull off the samurai look..."

"Shut your cake hole," Gordon answered brusquely.

"Shut my what?!" Kairi cried, stunned. She had never heard such rudeness from Gordon before.

"Good morning!" Auron chirped happily from the upstairs landing. He walked down, clad in Gordon's clothes: white shirt, grey slacks, and brown boots. It looked rather uncomfortable, as they were stretched. Yet, Auron seemed happy. He was whistling.

Gordon harumphed and took a swig of sake.

_What's going on? _Kairi asked. _Namine, did you swap their memories as some sort of joke? _

**I didn't do this. **

_Then who did? _

**I'm not saying anything. **

"Hey," Kairi said suddenly. "How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb in C+? None. They forgot to declare it first."

Auron cracked up. Gordon shook his head.

_It's not their memories. It's their personalities,_ Kairi observed. _The badass is now a softie and vice versa. Figures the Crypt-Kicker Five aren't around. Or does that cast suspicion on them? _

**...**

XXX

Urania woke up blearily. "Where am I?"

Clio shrugged. "I guess we got sucked into a teleportation spell courtesy of Mr. Crawling Chaos. After he nailed us with that psychic attack. What does your GPS say?"

Urania opened her hand-held computer. "We're not too far from Disney Castle."

"How do you feel?"

"A little weak," Urania admitted. "I should have foreseen that dirty trick." She rubbed at her wound. "Well, at least we proved it's the true Dainslef. No other mystic blade could hurt this much."

"How'd he do it, though? Nyarlathotep alters reality by making rumors come true. But the rumor has to be believed. No one would believe that Sora would stab you."

"Hmm...wait. There was someone."

"Whom?"

"Lorne. He gave Sora a weird look back in the Seraphic Gate. I assumed he was just insulting Sora's fashion sense, the glimmerous fop. But he might have seen Sora stabbing me...but with no context."

"I see. Well, let's go to Disney Castle. We can find the others from there and tell them to meet us."

"Why? I can use my psychic abilities here."

Clio put her hands on her hips. "It's safer. Disney Castle is mystically protected by the Cornerstone of Light. Nyarlathotep or any other denizen of darkness can't set foot there."

"Fine, _mother._"

XXX

The light cleared, and Nyarlathotep was gone.

"Did we do it? Did we defeat Nyarlathotep?" Sora asked, dropping his companions' hands.

"Yes, in a manner of speaking," Philemon said. "We've sealed him back into the abyss. But he'll claw on the other side of it, and eventually break free. I can only hope that we've dealt with his mother by then."

"Calamity is our priority now," Kore agreed.

"What are we going to do?" Sora inquired.

"You're going to deal with Calamity," Philemon answered. "I'll assist you any way I can. I've been traveling through the worlds, bringing peace or at least negotiating ceasefires. If the worlds are at peace, Calamity cannot draw upon their anguish and become stronger."

"I see," Sora said.

Philemon extended his hand to Sora. "Your work is done here. I will take you back to the Material Realm."

Sora took it.

Sora and Philemon reappeared in a verdant garden.

"Where's Kore?" Sora asked.

"She cannot accompany us," Philemon replied.

"Why not?!" Sora demanded. "I want to see her!"

"And you can," Philemon said softly. "In your dreams. But she cannot be on the Material Plane until her soul is found."

"And where is it?" Sora asked.

"I do not know. Only my mother and Calliope can tell you."

"Where are we?" Sora looked at the garden. Thousands of blue butterflies fluttered around the flowers. Water trickled from a nearby fountain. "It's pretty."

"This is the Garden of Gods. A sanctuary. No evil may enter here." Philemon conjured a silver cup and filled it with water from the fountain. "This is the Sacred Spring Pirene. This water will finish purifying your body of the paralytic you inhaled back on the Astral Plane."

Sora sipped the water. "It's good. I feel better."

"There is someone who wishes to see you," Philemon began. "After you've rested, I'll take you to see her."

Sora nodded. "All right."

"Activating the Great Seal takes a lot of energy," Philemon added. "You must be exhausted. Rest. You'll be safe here."

Sora closed his eyes and fell asleep.

XXX

Mickey awoke to a feminine scream. He opened his eyes.

Polyhymnia was pacing frantically back and forth, screaming. Tears streamed down her face. Her veil was askew, revealing that her hair had gone completely white.

"Poly!" Mickey jumped up.

"Don't touch me!" Polyhymnia's eyes were closed. She was still asleep. "Please! Don't! Lodovico...no!"

"Who's Lodovico?" Mickey asked.

Polyhymnia didn't answer, only screamed louder. It sounded like she was in severe pain.

Mickey grabbed Polyhymnia and shook her awake.

Polyhymnia gasped and sucked in air in great gulps. "I...Your Majesty..."

"You were having a nightmare," Mickey observed. "Who's Lodovico?"

"A monster," Polyhymnia said dismissively. "I'd...rather not talk about him right now."

"Fair enough. Let's go look for the others."

"I'm scared." Polyhymnia wrapped her arms protectively around herself.

"I'll protect you," Mickey reassured her. "Nothing will hurt you."

XXX

In the Garden of Gods, Sora heard someone call his name. He turned to meet the source of the sound, and gasped.

Kore was standing before him again. The miniature hadn't recorded much detail, and the stained-glass platforms had been poorly lit. In the full sunlight, Sora could now see the details of her face and clothes. Her white dress was somewhat shorter than the daydresses Kairi and Selphie and Rydia liked to wear on Sundays. Her sleeves ended at the elbows and were trimmed with lace, reminding Sora of how his mother's petticoats peeked saccharinely from under her skirt. Kore's hair was red – not a deep red like Kairi – but red-orange, like the Destiny Islands sunset.

"Kore?" Sora asked. "Is this really you?"

"You sound disappointed," she responded. "Shall I leave you to your sleep?"

"No!" Sora said. "It's just...Philemon said it was not you back there. That you weren't real."

"Well, I wasn't flesh and blood. But I'm not flesh and blood here either, am I?"

"You're not?" Sora poked at Kore's chest to see if his hand would go through. His finger met Kore's right breast.

Kore's face turned deep red and she slapped him.

Sora rubbed his welted cheek. "You're solid this time."

"This is consecrated ground. My power can reach you fully this time. I can say a proper goodbye this time." Kore looked a little sad.

"I want to meet you so bad," Sora admitted. "Not thoughts or whatever. The real you."

"I'm flattered."

"Why won't you fight me with me? You creamed Nyarlathotep!"

"I haven't fought in centuries. I'm rusty."

"That was rusty?!"

"Perhaps someday we can spar like you and Riku do. Just for fun. I've been waiting all this time for the one to set me free. Shall you be the one, Sora? I think I'd like that."

"I'd like that too," Sora said absently.

Kore laughed. "Are you flirting with me, Sora?"

Sora began to sweat profusely. "What?! No! Why would I flirt? I have a girlfriend already. I like Al...er. I like Kairi!"

"You're a dork, Sora," Kore patted him on the head. "But you're a cute dork."

"So, Kore? What was your hometown like? Where you grew up?"

"I don't want to talk about that right now."

"Why not?"

"I...fear you'd think less of me if you knew more about me."

"Why would you care what other people think?"

"I care what you think."

Sora blushed.

"We've got more important things to think about, like Oblivia."

"I'm curious. All I know are my mother's stories about you. You defeated Calamity, and you would come back if Calamity ever showed up again."

"My promise?" Kore frowned. "I'm trying to keep it."

"My mother told me the Maiden would be reborn somehow." Sora scratched his head. "She wasn't specific. Some sort of prophesy."

"You have to take prophesies with a grain of salt," Kore explained. "There is no set path. Some old prophet told me that 'Oblivion shall one day swallow the Maiden.'" Oblivion is Oblivia, of course. So he was telling me that Oblivia would kill me. But she didn't. I killed her first."

"So how did you die?"

"Despite how young I look, I was seventy six. Mnemosyne gave me longevity and good health, but that's not enough for immortality. I got careless and died because of it. I have no one to blame but myself. And that's my point. Fate is little more than a prediction too late. If something happens, all you can say is 'It was fate. ' No future is ever written in stone."

**Sora!**

"What?" Sora asked sleepily. He realized that Roxas had jolted him from a dream.

**I've been calling your name for the past thirty minutes, you airhead! What happened...after that uber-pwnage we pulled on Nyarly? **

"Philemon brought me here. The Garden of Gods. Then he left. He didn't say anything about where I'm supposed to go or do next. Just that someone wants to meet me."

**Argh. He always does that. **

"What?"

**Gives vague, cryptic advice and vanishes. **

"So you know him?"

**Enough to wish I didn't. **

"Who is he?"

**Keeper of the Astral Plane. Beyond that, I neither know or care. **

Sensing Roxas' irritability, Sora changed the subject. "I got to see Kore in another dream."

**Ooh. Was it a sexy dream? Did you kiss her? Don't tell me you woke up at the best part. **

"I didn't kiss her! I didn't even touch her...well, I kind of touched her chest. But I didn't mean to!"

**Wow! I didn't know you had it in you! You're learning from me! **

Sora wrinkled his nose. "You would have done it on purpose!"

**Duh. Isn't she a virgin? Maybe we'll get to be her first. **

"Would you quit being such a pervert?"

**Whatever. So what do we do now?**

"I don't know." Sora sat down on one of the stone benches. "Guess we wait."

To be Continued


	16. Reflections of Trickery

Author's Note: Special thanks to Ri2 for beta-reading this chapter and other assorted pieces.

Calamity faced her least favorite niece. "The Holy Sword Dike. A sword capable of rending the deepest darkness. My baby Nyarly barely survived a single hit from it. You could have defeated me, Calliope. You could have hit me over and over until I was dead. But why didn't you?"

"And destroy my mother's body in the process? I could not." Calliope replied flatly.

Calamity thought a moment. "Apparently, Dike can't distinguish between us in this melded state, so it just deals a small amount of damage as opposed to killing me in one hit."

"I have no way of knowing if my mother's goodness would spare her if I attacked you again."

"Therein lies your fatal mistake. You cared more about preserving your mother than destroying me. And you also cared too much about your sisters. You wounded me with Dike, I fled to heal. Instead of pursuing me, you gathered your sisters and decided to get the Keybearers involved."

"It was the best course of action in this matter," Calliope insisted. "If Mother's body were destroyed, the worlds would be torn asunder. Billions would die."

Calamity laughed. "Who cares? They're insignificant. You care too much about others. Me? I live for myself only."

"What about your son?"

"He was born out of the darkness in my heart, ergo he's an extension of me. I care only about myself. My allies care only about themselves."

"Then you and your allies are the most miserable bunch in the entire universe."

"I'm not miserable," Calamity snapped. "I'm very pissed off right now...but that's only because your goddamn brother and nephew couldn't mind their own business! But I can just cheer myself up by tormenting you. And you've only yourself to blame for your current situation."

"Your point being?" Calliope replied.

"Your weakness. Your compassion. I knew you wouldn't let Clio go to Twilight Tower. In your mind, it wouldn't be fair to ask Yen Sid for his assistance if his darling daughter were staring him right in the face. So you went there yourself. And you made another mistake -- you trusted Yen Sid. You turned your back to him and gave him a perfect opportunity to attack. Were you surprised that he stuck a metaphorical knife in your back? That's what happens when you're too trusting."

"I had no reason to think that he'd attack me."

"And now I have you and your sisters. I gave you a chance to spare yourself pain and suffering. I offered to only harm one of you if you chose which one. You chose yourself. It's your life on the line, and you still choose others over yourself. I've kept my word. I haven't hurt Melpomene and Thalia."

"I'm grateful that I saved two lambs from your wolves."

"My associates are wolves?" Calamity repeated. "Well, that makes you the lamb meetest for death. I do enjoy mutton. And I wonder how good your sisters would taste, if you don't fill me up.

Calliope stared directly into Calamity's eyes. "Choke on me, then."

"Later, sweetcakes," Calamity said, heading toward the door. "I got to get ready for my interviews."

Calliope was left alone. "What interviews?"

XXX

"So our poker group was Diego, Leo, Rassler, and me," Auron said cheerfully. "But then Diego left, so we let in a teenager who shouldn't have had to lift a sword named Reks."

"Left?" Kairi repeated. "How could he leave?"

"Called, like I was," Auron explained.

"Think Hades did it?" Kairi asked.

Auron shook his head. "If it was Hades, I assure you Diego would have been back within an hour. He had a bit of an attitude. Not to mention he threw coffee when he was mad."

Gordon made no indication that he was even listening to Auron's chatter.

Kairi nodded. "I see. I'm going to check on Maia and see if she wants any breakfast." She went upstairs and opened the door. "Maia?"

Maia was asleep in her bed, snoring loudly.

**She's asleep. Let's not disturb her. Naminé** observed.

"Yeah," Kairi agreed. "We'll ask her if she knows anything when she wakes up. So what now?"

Naminé fell silent.

"Let's take the guys and go to Doma," Kairi suggested. "Maybe Mr. Garamonde can help."

**Okay. **

XXX

Polyhymnia and Mickey continued through swampland. A toe shoe landed in front of Mickey.

Mickey looked up to see a one-shoed Terpsichore sitting on a tree branch. "Hey!"

"I climbed up here to see if there's a way out," Terpsichore said. "There's a path west of here, but I have no idea where it leads."

"Well, we'll just have to investigate," Mickey said. "Right, Poly?"

Polyhymnia sank to her knees and suddenly began to convulse.

Terpsichore dropped from the tree branch. "She's having a seizure?!"

XXX

Riku poked around his surroundings. There was dense forest as far as he could see. He spotted an unconscious human form among some rosebushes and recognized it. "Erato!" He ran to her side. "Erato!"

Erato moaned. "Ugh. Stupid Nyarlathotep doesn't know how to quit!" She checked herself. "Uh oh."

"What?" Riku asked.

"I lent Goofy my gun so he could shoot Peter and cease his brain functions," explained Erato.

"You trusted Goofy with a gun?!"

"It worked," Erato said. "But he didn't have a chance to give it back to me. I can't quite defend myself. I know a little offensive magic, but I specialize in defensive magics and well...marksmanship."

"I'll protect you!" Riku said. "Just stay close to me."

Erato smiled. "I know you will." She sighed. "This place is so romantic. The Enchanted Countryside. It's my favorite world."

"You know where we are?" Riku asked.

"Sure." Erato closed her eyes. "Give me a minute and I can find the others." She concentrated. "Clio and Urania are at Disney Castle. Mickey, Polyhymnia, and Terpsichore are in the Netherworld System. I can't quite get a bead on Euterpe, Donald, or Goofy. Sora is alone in the Garden of Gods. Well, sort of."

"Roxas?"

"Yup."

"So everyone's safe...well, relatively speaking. Did you get that trick from your father?"

"It isn't my father's power. It's mine and mine alone."

XXX

"I'm bored," Loki said to Hades, Gant, and Cartman. "Where are the poindexter and witch?"

"Lezard's holed up in the lab, doing some research," Hades said with a shrug. "And Marjoly said something about a plan to preserve her youth and beauty. So she'll be gone a while."

Gant picked up the TV remote and turned on Calamity's big screen plasma TV. "Nothing good on. _Wheel of Torture_'s a rerun."

"I wish Calamity would let us cause some chaos somewhere," Loki declared. "But she said something about talismanic numbers. What could she mean by that?"

"That seven is a highly talismanic number in Numerology, but six isn't nearly as powerful," Gant explained. "Since Kefka met his...heh, _unfortunate end_, it's just us six."

"Ah," Loki replied.

XXX

"Sister?"

Maia opened her eyes blearily. "What?"

Philemon was standing besides her bed. "You can rest easier now. I've brought good news."

"Where's Sora?" Maia sat straight up. "Where's my baby?!"

"He's safe. He's resting in the Garden of Gods."

"Then that's where I'm going."

"Your body's still too weak."

"I don't care!" Maia snapped. "I want my baby!"

"He'll be fine. And you'll be able to see him soon."

"Then bring him here."

"It would be too much of a strain on him."

"And how is this good news?!"

Philemon didn't flinch. "We've struck a decisive blow for our side. The Crawling Chaos has been sealed."

"Forever?"

"No, but for a long time."

"And Calamity?"

"You killed one of her executive officers. She's a superstitious person. She won't make another move until she replaces Kefka."

"There are lots of evil people in this world. She could already have a new officer!"

Philemon shook his head. "I wouldn't be so sure..."

XXX

Calamity sat at a beautifully polished white desk, wearing reading glasses and staring at a clipboard. "OK, Mr. Dark Lord Chuckles the Silly..." She hesitated and lowered her clipboard. "Piggy? That's your title?"

"Hey, cut it out!" A tiny pig wearing a purple cape retorted.

"But you're so...cute!" Calamity replied.

Chuckles the Silly Piggy hopped up and down in his seat. "Cut it out! Cut it out! Cut it out! I'm the master of evil! The master of evil! I can't help it if I have an adorably curly tail!"

Calamity palmed her face. "Next!"

XXX

Euterpe sat up and yawned. "Sisters?" She glanced around briefly. "Hmm."

Goofy was sitting besides her, a sleeping Donald in his lap.

"Goofy?" Euterpe asked. "Do you have any idea where we are?"

Goofy scratched his head. "I dunno. After the fight, it's all a blur..."

"I see." Euterpe looked at her surroundings. She, Donald, and Goofy were in a dimly-lit room filled with old wooden furniture. The floor was covered in coffee-stained carpet. Wallpaper so faded it was impossible to discern its pattern decorated the walls. She got up and moved to a white door, then tested the lock. The door opened.

Donald stirred. "Huh?"

"Let's see if we can determine where we are," Euterpe said. "I think Nyarlathotep hit us with a random-teleportation spell. Separate entities tend to...separate, so the others might not be here."

Donald and Goofy nodded and followed Euterpe into a hallway. Fluorescent lights fuzzed and flickered above their heads.

"Sure is spooky," Goofy commented.

"It's just an office building or something," Donald reasoned. One of the fluorescent bulbs above burned out, plunging the segment of the hallway they were in into darkness. "WAAAK!" Donald jumped and grabbed the nearest solid object.

"Do you want another execution?!" Euterpe snarled, as Donald had grabbed her rear end.

Donald whimpered. "I'm sorry."

Euterpe kept walking. Donald and Goofy followed. All they could see were rows of doors. Euterpe tested each as she passed. All were locked.

No one spoke as they wandered through several hallways of locked door.

Finally, they came to an open door labeled 'Don't Room'.

"Don't what?" Goofy wondered out loud. "Enter?"

"It'd be locked, then," Euterpe observed. "But 'Don't Room' is a bizarre name for a room. Perhaps it's slang for exit?"

"Let's not go in," Donald begged.

"There's nothing to be afraid of," Euterpe replied. "This place looks abandoned. Let's see what's behind this door." She pushed it open and went inside.

Donald and Goofy gulped and followed Euterpe in.

The room was almost completely dark, lit only by a single yellow lightbulb. A man was seated by the back wall, his head and face covered with what looked like a large towel. A large, egg-shaped object loomed behind the man. A pile of cartons was by the far wall.

"Get out!" The man said in a raspy voice.

The egg-shaped object suddenly emitted a strange white light. There was an explosion that blew Euterpe, Donald, and Goofy into the cartons.

Donald climbed out. "I knew this was a bad idea." He looked down on himself. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!"

To Be Continued


	17. Oblivion's Sorrow

Euterpe looked at Donald, then at Goofy, then at herself. They had shrunk to about two feet in height. Their bodies seemed to be made of felt.

"We're..." Goofy began.

"Puppets." Euterpe finished.

Donald pointed at Euterpe. "This is all your fault!"

"My fault?!" Euterpe asked. "How was I supposed to foresee that we'd be turned into puppets?!"

"I don't care!" Donald hopped up and down. "Just change us back!"

"How do you suppose I do that?" Euterpe asked dryly. "You're the mage."

"WAAAAAAK!"

"Can you change us back?" Goofy asked.

"I doubt I can," Euterpe said. "If we break that egg-thing, we should turn back to normal. But it's got some powerful binding magic on it. I'm not as good at magic as some of my sisters."

"So we're stuck like this?!" Donald looked horrified.

"There are worse things to be," Euterpe said. "Look, we should get out of here and figure out what to do next."

"Fine," Donald said. "But I want it on the record that this is your fault!"

XXX

"And do you have any enemies?" Calamity asked. "Mr...Phantom Blot?"

"Disney Castle!" The Phantom Blot replied.

"And what would you contribute to my inner circle of officers?"

"Sheer intimidation factor, my dear," said the Blot. "I make Darth Vader look about as scary as a hood ornament on a '53 Buick! Compared to me, Dr. Doom is a wimp! And Captain Hook is about as dangerous as a plastic coat hanger!" He cackled maniacally. "I'm mean! I'm mean!"

Calamity sighed. "Next!"

"What?" cried the Blot. "But I'm MEAN!"

"OUT!" Calamity slammed her fist on the desk.

The Phantom Blot got out of his chair and slunk away.

XXX

Donald, Goofy, and Euterpe stepped out into the street. It was nighttime. The street lamps cast a hazy glow.

"Wait," Donald said. He pointed to a man walking by them. "I think I know where we are. I recognize that guy!"

"The World of Lost Souls," Euterpe said. "Figures. Very magical world."

The man stopped and turned toward the three puppets. "Donald?" He was clad in a black leather coat, and had blonde hair that could only be described as "radioactive."

Donald began to sweat. "Spike, just turn around and walk away!"

"You're a..." Spike began.

"Get out of here!" Donald waved his arms frantically. "Don't say it!"

"You're a bloody puppet!" Spike howled with laughter. "You look ridiculous!"

"I wouldn't laugh, William the Bloody," Euterpe said. "Weren't you..."

"The less said about that, the better," Spike interrupted.

"So who's he?" Goofy asked.

"That's William the Bloody, aka 'Spike'," Euterpe explained. "He's the third worst vampire to ever roam the worlds..."

"Was," Spike corrected. "Not like that anymore, love. Got a soul and everything."

"Which is why you're not dust right now," Euterpe said.

Spike snickered. "Like sodding hell I'm going to be dusted by a wee little puppet muse!"

Euterpe snarled and jumped Spike, knocking him down. Donald pulled out the Violetta and joined her. Goofy shrugged and leaped in as well.

"Stupid limey piece of crap!" Donald cried.

XXX

In the Garden of Gods, Sora was resting. One of the friendly priestesses tending the garden had provided him with a pillow and blanket.

**Sora? **

"What is it, Roxas?"

**Do you think your parents...are my parents too? **

"Of course they are."

**Do you think they love me?**

"They're very loving people. Why do you ask?"

**In the Organization, Axel was my best friend. He respected me. And to a lesser extent, the others respected me too. But I didn't have love. **

"Well, now you do. You have your family, and Naminé."

**And for that I'm grateful. Sorry to bug you with this. **

"It's okay." Sora yawned. "I'm just a little sleepy."

XXX

"By the way, Donald," Euterpe asked as they left behind a comatose Spike. "How do you know William the Bloody?"

"Eh, we met in Anger Management," Donald explained.

XXX

Calamity was interviewing her next applicant, a blue skinned man named Dr. Drakken. "And what are your accomplishments?"

"I think it's fairer to ask 'what haven't you accomplished?'," said Drakken's personal assistant, Shego.

"Shego, not in front of my prospective new boss!" Drakken snapped.

"She's only your new boss if she takes pity cases," Shego retorted.

"She's your assistant, right?" Calamity asked.

"Yes..." Drakken said hesitantly.

"Then make her respect you! You're not going to be a great villain if your underling backtalks like that!"

"Yes, Dr. Drakken," Shego said cattily. "I'm waiting." She brandished her clawed gloves.

Drakken looked back at Calamity, then at Shego. "I...I...I can't hurt Shego!"

Calamity burst into tears.

"Does this mean I don't get the position?" Drakken asked.

"Doy," Shego said. "It's all your fault. You made her cry."

"My fault?!" Drakken snapped.

"Well, if you weren't such a wuss..."

"Shego! What have I told you about hurting with words...?"

Calamity left her office and went to her staff room where Gant, Loki, Hades, and Cartman were gathered. "You find the last executive officer. I'm through."

Loki peeked outside the room where about fifty applicants were gathered. "Easier said than done."

XXX

Kairi, Gordon, and Auron walked down the nearly deserted streets of Doma, careful to step over any debris.

A group of bandits wielding knives appeared.

"Stick 'em up!" cried the leader of the bandits. "Give us all your munny!"

Gordon drew his machete. Auron took the Yoshitsuna off his back.

Kairi raised her Keyblade. "Ever hear those funny stories about dumb crooks?!"

XXX

"So how are we going to narrow these down?" Hades asked.

"Russian Roulette?" Cartman suggested. "Only we put bullets in all the chambers."

"Who wins, then?" Loki asked.

"Me," Cartman replied.

"Or anyone who's bulletproof," Gant added.

"Just allow me." Loki entered the room of applicants and pointed to one. "Go home." He moved down the line, pointing to random villains as he went. "You can't do this. Uh uh. Give up now. You're not hired." He stopped in front of a dark, imposing figure. "Lose the respirator and we'll talk."

XXX

Calamity entered the dungeon of Castle Oblivion, where Melpomene and Thalia were chained up.

"You better let us go, if you know what's good for you," Thalia said.

Melpomene was silent.

"What's wrong, Melpomene?" Calamity asked. "Nothing to say?"

"Hmph," Melpomene responded, looking away from Calamity.

"I get it," Calamity said. "You don't like me. You think I've mistreated you."

"No. It's because you're an evil bitch," Melpomene replied

"We want to see Calliope," Thalia demanded.

Calamity held up a viewing globe. "Your wish is my command." The ball revealed Calliope being whipped by a demon-like woman.

Thalia gasped. "Why would you show us this? What's wrong with you?!"

"You said you wanted to see your sister," Calamity said.

"That's Tisiphone," observed Melpomene. "Where are Alecto and Megaera?"

Calamity shrugged. "Out and about. Never you mind."

XXX

In Beauty Castle, Marjoly sat on her throne. Her three assistants: Myao, Gao, and Crowdia stood before her.

Marjoly sipped a mint julep from a silver cup and sighed.

"What's wrong, Marjoly?" Myao, who had the appearance of a young girl as well as a pair of cat's ears on her head, asked.

"My beauty is in danger of fading," Marjoly responded.

"In danger? Isn't it already gone?" Gao, a silver-haired androgynous woman, joked.

Marjoly threw her cup at Gao, hitting her square in the forehead. "Hey! You shut up!"

Crowdia, who had a pair of feathery black wings, spoke. "Mistress, what do you intend to do? According to the latest in black magic research, the best way to restore your beauty and youth is to consume the heart of a virgin maiden who's experienced true love."

"Good luck with that," Gao snickered. "Not even Cornet fits that description."

"The heart of that ice fairy didn't work," Myao observed. "She's a virgin, and she fell in love."

"But her heart is made of ice," explained Marjoly. "I need a heart of flesh. Or rather, I've found one. Erato, the daughter of Mnemosyne. Except there's a catch."

"Always is," Crowdia observed.

"The daughters of Mnemosyne have a quirk," Marjoly began. "Their bodies disintegrate when they die. I have to remove her heart while she's still alive. Go forth, my minions. Bring Erato here."

"Are you sure this will work?" Myao inquired. "You _are_ old enough to be King Tut's mother."

Crowdia agreed. "There is such a thing as 'beyond help'."

Marjoly snarled. "Shut up and get her!"

"Yes, Marjoly," chorused Myao, Gao, and Crowdia.

XXX

"I want to get a doctor," Mickey said. He and Terpsichore were in a room at the Hotel Rosenqueen. Polyhymnia was resting on the bed.

"Good luck finding one here," Terpsichore commented.

"Poly needs one. To make sure she's okay."

"I agree, but how can we help her?" Terpsichore countered.

"Does the name 'Lodovico' mean anything to you?" Mickey asked. "She mentioned it during her crying spell."

Terpsichore's gaze darkened. "Lodovico was a wizard who abducted Poly twenty years ago. He experimented on her over a period of six months. Calliope finally caught up with him and killed him. Poly was traumatized. She had night terrors, she refused to talk about what happened, and she had fits of frenzies and crying."

"Did you try therapy?"

"We did. She didn't respond well. Kept insisting that she was a 'sinner.' That she deserved what happened to her. Though, in recent months, she was getting better – almost back to her old self. Which makes me think it was a spell to make her think that way. A spell that weakens with time."

"So the spell will wear off?" Mickey asked hopefully.

"It should. Unless...somehow, Lodovico still exists. We never found his soul after Calliope killed him. We squash Lodovico, the spell should automatically break." Terpsichore kicked at the carpet. "He actually published what he did to her. I tried reading it, but it was too disgusting. I do remember that he induced seizures in her."

XXX

Kairi watched as the last of the bandits fell. "Good job, guys."

Auron looked down. "I'm sorry."

Gordon sheathed his machete. "Pray that someone somewhere will mourn your passing."

"Why the long faces?" said Kairi. "They were bandits, and not even very good ones. The only reason anyone will care about them now is that I plan to write this incident up and submit it to 'The Darwin Awards' for consideration."

XXX

_Three weeks later, at the headquarters for The Darwin Awards..._

"Here's an amusing one, Ted."

"Sure, if you still find people who stick knives into electrical sockets amusing. Don't you know we've done five variations on that story within the last year alone? Creativity, Frank. Creativity is what drives this business. Innovation is the opposite of stagnation, which is the opposite of progress."

"Fine, Ted. Whatever. How about this one? A group of bandits attempted to rob a heavily armed eclectic band of ragtag traveling adventurers. The results were about what you'd expect."

"Maybe you're just tired, Frank. What did I just tell you? That event is what is known in this industry as a 'random encounter.' They happen all the time, and they are meaningless. Most of our readers want to forget about random encounters. If we wrote about every random encounter that ever happened, we'd need to publish several giant volumes every month, and no one would read them. This was all covered during your training with the temp agency. Frank, sometimes I think you don't take your job very seriously."

To Be Continued


	18. Black Blinding Nightmare

Cartman faced the final twelve applicants. "This will be the longest job interview of your life. We will test you in ways that you will find unfair, demeaning, and even illegal. And you will often be right."

"How did this pipsqueak get in and we have to vie for the final position?" Syndrome asked.

"Got me," replied Carmen Sandiego.

Cartman continued and took out a large scroll. "Roll call. Please respond when I call your name. Gantu of the Galactic Armada?"

"Present and accounted for."

"Pram the Oracle?"

"Here."

"Genesis Rhapsodos?"

"Present, and if I may..."

"No. Overlord Laharl."

"Here."

"Syndrome?"

"Yo."

"Carmen Sandiego."

"Here."

"Adelai Niska."

"Present."

"Albedo."

Albedo laughed maniacally.

"OK, that's a response, I guess." Cartman continued. "Sylar."

"I'm hungry. When do we eat?" Everyone scooted their chairs away from Sylar.

"Lord Dragaunus?"

"Present."

"Kuja."

"Here."

"Vayne Solidor?"

"Present."

XXX

In Cyan's house, Kairi and her party were seated in the living room. Auron sipped tea while Gordon drank sake. His wife had urged him to stay away from alcohol in the middle of an important meeting, but Gordon insisted that it's wrong to eat sushi without sake. He was immovable on this point.

"Where is Lady Maia?" Cyan asked. "Please don't tell me she died."

"Oh, she's fine," Kairi said. "She's just resting."

"Tis a relief," Cyan said. "Is there something you require of me?"

"Yeah," Kairi said. "Have you noticed anything unusual? Like magic? Anything out of place? Anyone you know acting weird?"

"Can't say I have," Cyan replied.

Elayne brought in a fussing baby girl. "Cyan, she won't stop crying."

Gordon frowned at the crying baby. "Stop, or I'll snap your nose off!"

The baby stopped crying and whimpered.

Owain looked at Gordon. "How does it feel to know you'll die in a few years?"

Gordon looked back at Owain. "Look at Auron, if you will. He's a samurai-slash-bodyguard. A high-risk, high-stress job. The first time he died, he was only thirty-five. Me? I run a camera shop. A relatively low-risk, low-stress job. I eat a healthy diet, I exercise three times a week, and I make sure to get a lot of fresh air. My parents are still alive, and they're in their sixties. I expect to live a good forty or more years. So thanks for the question, you little jerk."

"Daaaaaaaaaad!" Owain wailed.

"Serves you right for asking such a rude question," Cyan scolded.

Auron looked at the TV. "Oh, _Old Yeller _is on." He pulled a handkerchief out of nowhere and began to sob. "The doggie dies!"

Kairi palmed her face.

XXX

"All right, executive hopefuls," Loki announced. "The first challenge is very special. In addition to immunity, the winner will be granted the chance to nominate two of his or her competitors. I will fire one of them." He smirked. "I need you to bring me Calamity's panties."

The candidates stared blankly.

"Not kidding," Loki replied. "Calamity. Panties. Go."

The entire gaggle of villains glanced over at Gant (whom they judged the most mature of the group of already hired lackeys) in protest, hoping he would say something about the nature of the challenge before them.

Gant shrugged. "It's how I got picked."

The candidates filed out of the staff room.

Vayne was the first to speak, as soon as Loki was out of earshot. "This is infantile, unprofessional, and inappropriate."

"Let's all just cop out," Genesis suggested. "No winners, no losers."

"Geez," Pram put her hands on her hips. "Grow a pair, you two."

"You're gonna do it, aren't you, Cutthroat Bitch?" Laharl asked.

Pram rolled her eyes. "Of course I'm gonna do it!"

XXX

Kairi opened the door to the Velvet Room. It was still empty. She went up the stairs to Maia's room.

Maia was awake. "Oh, hi, Kairi."

Kairi held out a shopping bag. "I got you a new dress."

Maia gasped at the dress Kairi held out. "Umm..." It was a rather slinky, revealing red satin dress. The whole thing looked like it would fit in a tea cup. "It's..."

"How about it to get Gordon's blood racing?"

Maia looked at the tag. "It's the wrong size. Two sizes too small."

Kairi shrugged. "I asked them for your size, and the saleslady said 'We don't carry plus sizes'."

"Since when is size twelve a plus size?!" Maia snapped.

Elizabeth entered the room.

"It was the only dress shop open in Doma," Kairi sighed, pulling out a rust-brown dress for herself.

"I have my old maternity dress she can borrow," Elizabeth said cheerfully. "Allow me to retrieve it." She bowed and left.

"Elizabeth doesn't look like she's ever been pregnant," Kairi said.

XXX

Niska was staring intently at Calamity.

"You'll get fired if she catches you," Pram advised.

"I don't zink she can fire me for not trying to steal her panties," Niska replied.

"So are you trying to will them off?"

"If I had a plan, I wouldn't tell you what the plan is."

"Whatever," Pram said.

XXX

In Disney Castle, Urania and Clio were resting in a guest bedroom.

Urania lay on the bed. "Clio, your father is involved in this. And I don't want you to get hurt."

"My father wouldn't hurt me," Clio said.

"Yet he hurt three of your sisters."

"Because Calamity forced him to."

"Clio, the best thing for you to do is stay away from Yen Sid. He would kill you without a second thought."

"That's a lie!" Clio snapped. "He wouldn't hurt me..."

Urania opted not to tell Clio about a certain disturbing vision of hers.

XXX

Syndrome placed a pair of white panties on the table in the staff room.

"These aren't the right undies," Loki said. "Calamity's wearing a black bra. The downstairs should match." Hades and Gant stared blankly at him. "What? Surely you two have noticed!"

"I took these from Calamity's dresser, using my gadgets to scale the walls and get in her bedroom." Syndrome smirked. "You only said we had to get Calamity's underwear. You didn't say we had to get the specific pair she's currently wearing."

"I admire your shamelessness," Loki said. "But if you can't follow simple directions, you're fired."

Syndrome pouted.

"One word of advice," Gant said. "You might want to eliminate the cape from your costume. Might get you sucked into a jet engine someday."

XXX

"So where are we going?" Donald asked Euterpe.

"To the Library of Demonic Congress," Euterpe replied. "It'll be dangerous."

"Why are we going there?" Goofy asked.

"This isn't ordinary magic," Euterpe explained. "It's a hex or powerful warding magic. The Library might give us some tips on how to break this spell."

"Why not ask your sisters?" Donald inquired.

Euterpe hopped up and down. "Like I'm going to let my sisters see me like this!"

XXX

"Oh, Calamity," Carmen Sandiego said. "I have a question about the position's benefits..."

Calamity turned. "Yes? Wait...nooooooo!"

XXX

Carmen tossed a black thong on the table.

"No way..." Gantu commented.

Loki poked at the panties. "These are definitely the genuine article."

"How do you know that?" Hades asked.

"Never you mind," said Loki.

"Aren't you married?" Hades asked.

"So?" Loki continued . "Sandiego, who do you nominate?"

"I nominate Laharl and Sylar."

"Hmm..." Loki said. "Eliminating your strongest competition, I see. Laharl is as powerful as the rest of you put together. And Sylar has a good variety of powers and can analyze variables in situations."

"Wait," Gant said. "Something's up. How exactly did you come by these panties?"

"I stole the Grand Canyon! One pair of undies is hardly a challenge."

"Not an answer," Gant replied. "How did you get them off Calamity? Did she sell you to them for the right to put her choices on the block? No. Calamity wouldn't just eliminate two of the best candidates."

"I used a tranquilizer to put her to sleep," Carmen admitted.

Loki groaned. Hades palmed his face. Gant shook his head.

"It didn't do anything! It just changed her voice slightly," Carmen insisted. "I explained the challenge to her and she let me have them."

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, you were talking to Mnemosyne and not Calamity?" Gant sneered. "You struck a bargain with Mnemosyne. She gave you the panties so she could sabotage Calamity's operation."

Loki shook his head. "Making a deal with the enemy. Giving Mnemosyne power that she wasn't supposed to have. Carmen Sandiego, you are fired. Thanks for playing."

"Does that mean I'm safe?" Laharl asked.

"Yes," Loki said. "Until the next challenge: the Brunch of Disgustingness!"

"I'm starting to wonder if this is even worth it," Dragaunus said.

Gantu shrugged. "Beats working for Hamsterwheel."

XXX

Gordon fell asleep and fell into a deep dream.

"Maia!" He cried. Maia was in the grip of a giant tentacled monster. He reached for his machete, but it had disappeared. The monster resembled Ultros, only much larger.

"Mommy!" Sora appeared, Keyblade in hand.

Sora tried to slice off the thing's tentacles, but more grew in their place. Sora quickly vanished in the sea of tentacles.

Gordon stared in horror.

The monster spat out something. Gordon bent down to pick it up with shaky hands. It was Sora's crown necklace, encrusted with dried blood. He wondered dimly why he wasn't crying.

There was the sound of someone clapping.

Gordon spun around.

There was Auron, wearing his usual scowl.

"Auron…where have you been?" Gordon asked. Something seemed rather…off about Auron. A certain dark aura bubbling under the surface.

"I just got here." Auron stopped clapping. "Congratulations. You just proved you're worthless. You couldn't handle this, could you? Your wife and son are dead." Auron gave a cold smirk. "Dead because you're weak. The wrong man died. I was the one they needed."

Gordon curled his hands into fists. "Shut up!" He punched Auron in the face. "Wait. Auron would have smacked me back. Hard."

Auron's clothes and body seemed to melt until they solidified into a teenage girl with green hair. "Damn you!" She screamed. "Damn you, Gordon Pleiades!"

XXX

Auron, too, was asleep and dreaming. He saw a door, and stepped inside.

Three kids tackled him, knocking him to the ground. Two boys and a girl.

"Yay! Daddy's home!"

_Daddy?_ Auron looked at the children. All three definitely resembled him, though one of the boys had blonde hair. _But how…_ He looked down at himself. He was wearing a three piece suit. A briefcase had flown out of his hand when the kids mobbed him. "What?"

"You're home," came a female voice. Auron looked up to see a serene-looking woman. _I've seen her somewhere before. Who is she? _

It came to him: that unsent summoner. "Belgemine?"

"Yes?"

"Um..." _What's going on_ came to mind, though it wasn't what Auron said next.

"Nope. You're not getting out of it, buster," Belgemine chided. "I've been dealing with them all day. It's your turn to take care of them."

The girl grabbed Auron's briefcase from where it had fallen. "Payday!" She pawed through it until she found an envelope. "Paycheck! Now Daddy HAS to buy all the stuff we want if he ever wants us to love him back!"

"I want Halo 3," the blonde kid said. "And an Xbox 360 so I can play Halo 3. And a replacement Xbox 360 if I get a red ring of death."

"I want a Wii," the dark-haired boy said. "And Smash Brothers Brawl. And Super Paper Mario. And Super Mario Galaxy!"

Auron rubbed his temples wearily. "Please...you're giving me a headache." He noticed his trusty sake flask at his waist and took a swig.

"Why do you drink so much, Daddy?" asked the dark-haired boy.

"Because you cry," Auron responded. He snatched the briefcase from the girl and looked at the papers inside. A bunch of critical essays for a class called Religious Studies 359: Comparative Theology.

_Oh, crap_. Auron thought. _I'm a...theology professor?! _

"It's your turn to take care of the baby tonight," Belgemine said.

"Baby?" Auron asked.

"Connor, of course." Belgemine gestured toward the bedroom. "He's waiting for you."

Auron sighed and went into the bedroom. A bald, rather plump baby lay in the crib. "What has she been feeding you?"

The baby began to cry.

Auron sighed and took another swig from his flask. He saw a bottle of milk on a nearby table and snatched it. He held it to the baby's mouth.

Connor turned his head away from the bottle and cried louder.

"OK, you're not hungry." Auron put the bottle away. He looked at the baby's diaper. It looked dry. "You're not wet."

The baby screamed, kicking its feet and flailing its arm. Auron picked it up, only for it to cry louder.

Auron set the baby down. "Look, you're not hungry. You're not wet. I hold you, you cry. I put you down, and you cry. What exactly are you asking me to do?"

Connor continued to wail.

"How can you cry so loud with such little lungs?" Auron asked. "Can you at least shut up so I can think?"

Belgemine came in. "Why is my baby crying so much?"

"Have you seen my Silencetouch sword?" Auron asked, remembering a story Rikku once told around a campfire: _Pop used to throw silence grenades at us when we cried or made too much noise. _

"You're not using a sword on my baby!" Belgemine picked up Connor and patted his back.

The baby burped and calmed down.

The three other brats...er, children came in. "Daddy, we're bored!"

_Auron sighed. I brought them into this world; I have to entertain them too?!_ He opened his briefcase and took out the papers. "Here, kids. I want you to take these big red ink markers and scribble all over these papers that Daddy's students made. What?" He asked off Belgemine's glare. "It's not exploitation if they're learning something!"

Belgemine transmuted into a tall woman with classical European features and blue hair. "You're smarter than I thought, Philemon."

XXX

Riku and Erato sat on the shore of a crystalline lake, speaking quietly.

"My daddy didn't want to give me up. But his world is a turbulent one, one he didn't deem fit for raising a child. So he agreed to let me live with my mother." Erato smiled. "Would you be willing to meet my father?"

"As long as he doesn't behave like the copy of him we fought."

Erato giggled. "Of course not. Do you have a crazy father?"

"I don't. Just a Queen Bitch mother and three accident-prone brothers."

"Tell me about them."

"OK. Well, Kadaj, Loz, and Yazoo didn't mean to cause trouble. It just always happened. Once, the guys – me, Sora, Tidus, Wakka, and my brothers – were playing with a copy machine. We photocopied our faces and hands for a while. But then Kadaj asked innocently enough 'Who wants to do their butt?!' Loz volunteered, but we forgot he weighed over three hundred pounds at the time. And the glass cover on the copy machine wasn't meant to support that much weight. My parents had to pay both Loz's hospital bills and the cost of fixing the copier. Have you ever had shards of copy machine glass embedded in your kiester?"

Erato giggled. "I only have one brother, and he's a stick in the mud. Always hanging out in the Astral Plane. Sometimes he visits the castle. It's really the only place in the Material Plane that he can hang out for extended periods of time. Otherwise, he'll die if he stays out too long."

"What's his name?"

"Philemon. Ever heard of him?"

"Nope. Well, maybe. Secondhand, from DiZ."

"Jung wrote a lot about him."

"Jung?"

"Don't read much, do you, Riku?"

"Nah. Too boring." Riku yawned and stretched out his left arm, lowering it around Erato's shoulders. Erato accepted it and leaned closer.

XXX

Kairi went downstairs.

Philemon was seated in a chair. Upon seeing Kairi, he stood up.

"It is a privilege to meet you, Kairi," Philemon said. "And a joy to see you again, Namine."

Naminé projected herself from Kairi. "Auron and Gordon have been acting strange lately. They say or do the exact opposite of what they'd normally do. Someone switched their personalities. And that someone...was you."

"Him?!" Kairi cried. "Why not the Crypt-Kicker Five?"

"They answer only to Philemon," Naminé reasoned. "So even if it was Igor or one of the others, the order came from Philemon. Tell me. Why did you do it?"

Philemon bowed his head. "Because...I had to."

To Be Continued


	19. Evil Tales and Obligations

"What do you mean you had to?" Kairi demanded.

"Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos, was sealed away," Philemon explained.

"Yeah, what's that got to do with them?" Kairi asked.

"Nyarlathotep may be gone for now, but his three associates aren't. They specialize in astral attacks."

"Huh?"

**Inducing bad dreams and negative thoughts**, Naminé explained.

Philemon continued. "Tisiphone, Alecto, and Megaera can pass into dreams, even in the confines of the Velvet Room. They were planning to paralyze your guardians with fear and insecurity."

"With a bad dream?" Kairi asked incredulously. "Auron's tougher than that."

"Switching their psyches gave them the perfect defense mechanisms with which to cope. Auron needed optimism. And Gordon needed the ability to temporarily suppress emotion. At any rate, they're back to normal."

At the same time, Auron and Gordon were switching their clothes back.

"Auron!" Gordon pointed toward his chest. A long, jagged scar was right above his heart. "What happened?"

"You don't remember how you got that?" Auron asked. "People with scars that deep don't just forget."

XXX

At Castle Oblivion, the villain candidates were seated around a large marble table.

Genesis decided to start a conversation. He looked at Vayne, who was sitting across from him. "Hey, Vayne, why don't you tell us about your...personal tragedies?"

"Tragedies?" Vayne repeated.

"I meant only the death of your eldest brother."

"Yeah, and you can tell us about the mysterious deaths of your parents," Laharl interjected. "Both of you."

"How about your parents, Overlord?" Niska asked. "Aren't you the one responsible for your mommy's death?"

Laharl stuck out his tongue at Niska and blew a raspberry.

Vayne shrugged. "I don't mind relating the story, though I don't consider it proper dinner conversation. My brother and I went on a behemoth hunt in the Salikawood to celebrate his twenty-fifth birthday. And he...wound up shot in the back."

"Oh, did they ever find out who did it?" Dragaunus asked, barely masking the fact he knew perfectly well who the likeliest culprit was.

Vayne was unfazed. "We concluded that the behemoth somehow managed to get a hold of the gun."

Sylar coughed. "Yeah right."

"Something to say, Gabriel?" Vayne asked with a straight face.

Sylar shrugged. "I'm just surprised that you and I have more in common than I thought."

"How dare you compare me with an animal such as yourself," Vayne said in a piqued tone.

"Oh, who do you think you're kidding, Vayne?" Kuja asked.

"We're all the same," Pram added. "We hunger for power. We wouldn't be here if we didn't. None of us care who's hurt, as long as it's not us."

"Well said, Cutthroat Bitch," Kuja said, raising an empty water glass.

XXX

Maia yawned. "Anything happen when I was asleep?"

Auron and Gordon blushed and looked away.

Maia turned to Kairi. "Um...your dress is ripped all the way to your thigh. Maybe I should sew it."

"I bought it like this," Kairi said, indicating the thigh-high slit on her brown dress. "Most dresses are only slit to the knee, but I think boys want to see more leg."

Maia blushed. "Gordon, would you want me to show that much leg?"

"Ye—I mean, no!" Gordon said.

"Why not?" Maia snapped. "You've seen me without clothes!"

Auron and Kairi both blushed.

XXX

Meanwhile, Erato and Riku were still at Clear Lake in the Enchanted Countryside.

"Why do you hate your mom so much?" Erato asked.

"She doesn't love me or my brothers," Riku explained. "My brothers would constantly cause accidents, and instead of defending them, she gave in to pressure to send them away to military school. Sure, they burned down a house when they were hanging out and lighting up their farts, but it's not like there was anyone in it!"

"But don't you think you're being harsh on your mother? I wouldn't dream of talking to my mother the way you talk to yours."

"Come on, Erato," Riku crooned. "Cut the lecture and give me a kiss."

"Riku...I don't think we should..."

"HEY!" came a young-sounding voice. Riku turned to face Myao, Gao, and Crowdia.

Erato stood up. "Who are you three?"

"We serve the Queen of Beauty Castle, Marjoly!" Myao squealed.

"And we extend a cordial invitation to you, Miss Erato," Gao said, grabbing Erato's wrist.

"Take your hands off her," Riku snapped.

"With pleasure," Gao said, shoving Erato toward Crowdia, who caught her.

"Sweet dreams," Crowdia said, kissing Erato. Erato went limp in her arms.

"What did you do?" Riku demanded.

"Anesthesia lipstick," Crowdia explained. "Only a kiss from the one she loves will wake her."

Riku drew his Keyblade. "Let her go."

"Can't do that, buddy," Gao replied.

Myao clasped her hands. A spell seal appeared on the ground around him. "Have fun with my dragon!" She giggled as a green dragon materialized out of thin air.

Riku groaned. "You gotta be kidding me! I have to fight the dragon and rescue the damsel in distress? What is this? Some cliché fairy tale?!"

Myao, Gao, and Crowdia vanished in a puff of multicolored smoke, taking Erato with them.

XXX

"Gordon, why aren't you taking my advice?" Kairi asked. "Go home before you get Maia killed."

"I'm not going home," Gordon said. "My father told me once: 'It isn't easy when you think your voice doesn't matter to anyone. Maybe you believe there's nothing you can do. But if you just do nothing, you've made a choice to perpetuate the destruction.'"

"But you are doing nothing," Kairi protested. "You're dead weight in my party. Auron's the one protecting your wife. So why don't you prove yourself?"

"Prove myself?" Gordon asked.

"You can rise above this. You can be better. I saw you when you had Auron's personality. You were great! No, not just great. Awesome. 'Pray that someone somewhere will mourn your passing'? That was sooo badass! You could be like Auron if you tried." Kairi thought a moment. "I want you to lift the Yoshitsuna."

Gordon looked at the Yoshitsuna, which was resting by Auron's side. "Lift that thing?!"

"You don't have to kill anything with it. Just lift it."

"I don't think I can."

"Then you've just proven you're a coward."

Gordon grasped the hilt. "I'm not sure this is a good idea."

"If you succeed," Kairi began. "I will shut up and never doubt you again."

Gordon attempted to lift the sword. "Nngh..." The Yoshitsuna didn't budge.

Kairi burst out laughing. "You're so pathetic! You can't even move it! Hee, hee! So hilarious!"

"Let it go before you give yourself a hernia," Auron said, barely looking up from a magazine.

Gordon released the Yoshitsuna's hilt with a groan.

Kairi clutched your stomach. "I'm proud of both my dads. I'm so lucky that I don't have a father like you."

"Did you really mean it when you said Sora was ashamed of me?" Gordon asked. "Because I don't think it's true."

"At the least, Roxas is. He hung out with tough gang members, not a sissy like you."

"The Organization? By Roxas' own testimony, all they ever did was argue and backstab each other."

"Maybe I was too harsh," Kairi commented. "Try arm-wrestling Auron."

"Auron, would you--"

"No," Auron replied simply.

"Please."

"You don't have to prove anything to Kairi."

"Come on." Gordon held out his arm.

"Fine," Auron sat down.

Gordon sat opposite him and gripped Auron's arm. "Ready."

Auron immediately slammed Gordon's arm down. "There."

Kairi laughed again. "You just lost to a dead man!"

Gordon winced. "I think he broke my arm."

"Stop being such a baby," Kairi replied.

XXX

Loki entered the dining room. "Contestants, it is now time to begin the Brunch of Disgustiness! Our chef, Raine Sage, has prepared a twelve course meal. You will have no idea if the next dish is more disgusting, less disgusting, or just as disgusting!"

Raine served each villain a large black brownie with suspicious-looking green spots.

"Dessert first," Niska observed. "How droll!"

Loki smirked. "Bon appetit!"

"He's having way too much fun with this," Hades commented.

XXX

Donald, Goofy, and Euterpe entered the Library of Demonic Congress.

"I'm going to research this...phenomenon," Euterpe explained. "Goofy, would you help me carry me books?"

"Sure," Goofy said.

"What am I going to do?" Donald asked. "Ooh." He pointed to a sign that read _Floor One: Library of Demonic Congress. Floor Two: Congress With the Beast Brothel. _

"No," Euterpe said simply. "Read the book Maechen gave us. See what we need to separate Calamity's soul from my mother's body."

"Oh, yeah," Donald pulled out the book. "I haven't had a chance to go over this." He opened the book and began to read.

XXX

Meanwhile, at Castle Oblivion, the villains were still in the middle of the "Brunch of Disgustingness."

Raine handed each contestant a bowl. "Homemade yogurt."

Gantu sniffed the bowl and gagged. "What's in this, Miss Sage?"

"Just...milk. And some fruit I found," Raine explained. "It was nice and mushy."

Kuja stood up. "I can't take this anymore." He ran out of the room and down the hall. There was the sound of retching from afar.

"Congratulations," Loki said. "Everyone except Kuja passes to the next round."

"And what is that?" Laharl asked, not even sure he wanted to know.

Loki laughed maniacally.

XXX

Euterpe, Donald, and Goofy sat around a table. Euterpe and Donald were reading.

"I've got some leads on how to break this spell," Euterpe said. "How about you, Donald?"

"Man, Maechen rambles," Donald complained. "Didn't he even have an editor? But, the good news. The ritual of Soul Separation seems fairly simple. We need a leader of men, a child, and a mage to conduct the ceremony. We need to mix the tears of a god, the blood of the person whose soul we want to extract or at least the blood of someone related to that person, and magic crystals that contain soul energy--"

"Phozon crystals," Euterpe interrupted. "And they're only found in Erion. Go on."

Donald continued. "Mash the crystals and mix them with the tears and blood in a small cauldron, and allow the leader to hold it. The leader, the child, and the mage stand in a triangle formation, with the intended target at its center. The mage chants a spell in Latin three times...and that's it. The soul should fly out of the body.

"Sounds pretty easy," Goofy said. "What could possibly go wrong!"


	20. All is Twilight

In the Velvet Room, by Nameless' piano, Kairi faced Auron. "I can understand why Gordon wants to protect Maia since she's his wife, but why you, Auron? Why are you so bent on keeping her safe?"

"I need a reason?" Auron replied dryly.

"Well...yes," Kairi said. "This quest is to rescue Sora before Calamity swallows him or whatever. You have no reason to defend Maia."

"I'm a guardian. I protect summoners. That is my duty."

"It's not like that anymore. Maia's not some self-sacrificing religious nut. She doesn't need or deserve your help."

"Who are you to judge who needs my assistance?" Auron's voice was level and cold.

Kairi sighed. "Fine. You're arrogant enough that nothing I say will change your mind."

Gordon came in.

"Say, Gordon," Kairi asked, "isn't our objective to save Sora, not Maia?"

"I aim to save them both," Gordon replied.

"Good answer," Kairi said.

**They seem to be back to normal, **Naminé observed. **But we should make absolutely certain. **

"OK," Kairi said. She turned to Gordon and Auron. "A patient goes to a doctor, and the doctor says 'You have terminal cancer.' The patient says 'I want a second opinion.' The doctor replies 'OK, you're ugly too.'"

Gordon laughed. Auron grunted.

XXX

Larsa looked around the room he was currently in. The walls were pure white marble. Statues of white flowers were everywhere. "Vayne, where are we?"

"Castle Oblivion, the domain of the Goddess Calamity."

Larsa pointed at the blue footie pajamas he was wearing, trying to ignore the baby bonnet resting on his head. "Why are we here, and why did you insist I wear this ridiculous getup?"

"I'm trying to get the assistance of Lady Calamity, but I have to win a series of challenges to receive an audience with her. The latest challenge is baby borrowing."

"Huh?"

"To see if we can handle delicate matters. And what's more delicate than a baby?"

"This is still a stupid plan. And I'm not delicate."

"It's perfect. I'll win when they see how happy and well-adjusted my 'baby' brother is." Vayne took out a pacifier from his doublet pocket. "Now act like a baby."

"Vayne, this is humiliating!"

"I changed your diapers, Larsa."

"Liar. We had servants to do that."

"Your endless crying put them off their duties." Vayne popped the pacifier in Larsa's mouth.

Larsa folded his arms and pouted.

XXX

Marjoly opened the door to Beauty Castle's dungeon. "Hello, Leanan."

"Why are you here?" Leanan asked.

"Sure," Marjoly replied. "As soon as you give me what I want."

"You have already taken my heart."

"Your organs regenerate, don't they?" Marjoly brandished a large iron knife. "I require your heart once more."

"No! Please!" Leanan struggled wildly against her bonds.

Marjoly raised her knife and brought it down.

XXX

"We're going to the next world over," Maia said. "Port Royal."

"Port Royal?" Kairi asked. "I remember Sora telling me about that world. Why do you want to go there?"

Maia pointed to the blue dress she was wearing. "This fits better than the dress you bought me, but it's still too tight." She gasped for air. "I...can't breathe..."

XXX

High in the east wing tower at Disney Castle, Urania bolted up in bed and screamed.

Clio ran into the room. "Urania, what's wrong? A bad dream?"

"An awful vision. Calamity cloaks the worlds in perpetual darkness."

"Say there's a way it can be changed."

Urania gave a wan smile. "Seven keys are needed, and seven hearts. That's all I know."

"Hmm...maybe Master Yen Sid would know something," Clio suggested.

"No, Clio. You can't see him again. Not after what he did. Not after what he'll do..."

"What will he do?"

"Meep. I said too much."

Clio chose not to press the issue. "Fine. We'll go see Merlin in Radiant Garden once the others come."

XXX

One floor below the registration room for the Congress with the Beast Brothel and Coffeehouse, Donald Duck found himself doing something he dreaded: discussing homework.

Donald held up the book he received from Maechen for all to see. "Read Maechen's footnotes, which if anything, ramble more than the main text. It says here that the crystals need to be purified by 'the fires of Muspelheim.' Would an Ifrit Caress work?"

Euterpe shook her head. "I doubt it. A simple fire spell wouldn't be hot enough to purify the crystals."

"Ah, phooey," Donald whined. "There's another thing that bothers me. It says that a lot of energy is needed to separate a soul from the body. The stronger the soul, the more energy required."

"My sisters and I have nearly infinite Divine Materialize Energy in our bodies," Euterpe said. "We'll provide the energy. In Erion, we can visit the Fire Kingdom and get a flame hot enough to purify Phozon crystals."

XXX

Shadows haunted the alleys of Port Royal. Shadows, alley cats, and the occasional drunkard tilting over a pile of garbage to purify his stomach of its most recent round of the famous local concoction of rum, grog, and whiskey. Secret ingredient: sprinkles of fertilizer and milkweed.

At times, something even more dangerous than the grog could be found in the darkest of the dark alleys of the most moonless of the moonless nights, and this was one of those times. What Kairi, Gordon, Maia, and Auron were doing there at the same time was anyone's guess, but it turned out to be a questionable decision when a foul-smelling, pirate-shaped shadow with bad posture swung through the middle of the party on a nearly invisible rope and grabbed at the nearest potential candidate for ransom. This happened to be Maia, whose borrowed dress was too restrictive for her to duck out of the way.

Gordon, Auron, and Kairi stared at the intruder, fighting the urge to cover their noses and hoping its odor of rotting wood, animal remains, and baked seaweed (don't ask!) did not remain with them later in the day.

"Let her go, you bastard!" Gordon snarled.

"Don't agitate him," Auron quickly said. "He might panic and hurt her."

Gordon conceded the point. "Um, sir, what's your name?"

"You don't recognize me?" The man asked. "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!"

"OK, Captain..." Gordon said. "We're your friends. Is there anything you want? Money? Passage out of the country?"

"That man's bottle of grog," Jack pointed to Auron's sake flask. "The rum has disappeared. Everywhere. I have been sober for the past thirty six hours. I can't take this much longer!"

Kairi smacked her forehead in frustration. "OK, when Ultros tried to eat us, that was cute. When Gilgamesh tried to take Auron's sword, that was mildly amusing. Mid-Boss was hilarious. But this...is...stupid."

"This man is in severe alcohol withdrawal," Gordon observed. "Look at the way he's shaking. Maybe we should indulge him."

"You know…" Auron said. "You're right. I've seen this before."

"So should we give him the sake?" Gordon asked.

"We can't trust him, though." Auron said.

"Ordinarily, I wouldn't, but he's in such a strong case of withdrawal that he's not thinking straight." Gordon observed.

"Wouldn't that make him more dangerous?" asked Auron.

"Just give him the flask, Auron. He could have a grand mal seizure at any moment. I worked as a volunteer paramedic in college, and I saw this all the time in frat boys. And the only ones who drink more than frat boys are crazy, homicidal pirates! So just give it to him!"

"But giving him what he wants will give him the idea that he can blackmail us further…"

"That's irrelevant! We're leaving this stupid backwater world as soon as he lets her go!"

"Oh, for heaven's sake!" Kairi snatched the sake flask from Auron's waist and handed it to Jack. "Here. Now let her go."

Jack released his grip on Maia. "Now, Miss, let's not let this prevent us from becoming friends."

Maia slapped him.

Jack rubbed his cheek. "Okay. I deserved that." He looked at the flask, opened it, and took a sip. His face scrunched up. "So bitter...but I suppose beggars can't be choosers." Jack tipped the flask and chugged. "Ah. Sweet relief." He promptly passed out. The flask tumbled from his hand.

Auron retrieved the flask and turned it upside down. Not a drop spilled out. Auron's normally emotionless voice took on a tone of disbelief. "He drank it all."

"Um, how much alcohol was in that sake?" Gordon asked.

"Forty percent by volume," Auron answered.

"Forty percent?!"

"Well, you could chop his head off and he won't wake up," Kairi said.

Gordon shook his head. "It's dishonorable to kill someone while they're unconscious. And, you know, it's murder."

"It's illegal to kill pirates now?" Kairi looked confused.

Auron sneered. "Maybe not, but that was by far the worst pirate I have ever seen. Let's just leave him."

XXX

Gant led a train of the remaining executive officer candidates to the dungeon in the depths of Castle Oblivion. Passing over the majority of the cells filled with naught but the bones of unlucky nobodies long since forgotten by their wardens, past the colonies of rats congregating in some of the filthiest of the accommodations (which was saying a lot), and past the most vile of them all, the unlocked cubicle formerly used by the late Nobody Demyx to practice with his garage band, "Dirty Demy and the Secondhand Toothbrushes" (a title that always used to make Axel very, very suspicious). He stopped in front of one of the few currently occupied cells, in which slumped the figure of a woman who gave off the impression that, given a shower and a change of clothes, would be a very deadly kind of beautiful.

"Everyone," said Gant, "This is Calliope, the eldest daughter of Mnemosyne and one of the biggest threats to our supremacy."

Calliope smiled, despite looking disheveled. "Come to play your organ for me again?"

"No," Gant replied, giving a smirk in return. "I've merely brought some new friends for you to play with. Your next challenge will be in extracting information. The soul of the Maiden of Light is missing, and only Calliope knows where it is. I suspect Calliope is holding it within her body, but I can't be sure. The first to get her to tell where it is will pass to the next round."

Gantu looked relieved. "Something do-able."

"At least you didn't EAT your baby like Albedo," Pram observed.

"It was tempting," Gantu said. "I was hungry."

"And then Albedo ate his own head…" whimpered Snoops. "That was freaky."

Laharl volunteered to undergo the challenge first.

"My wife Flonne the Love Freak will make her break," Laharl announced. "With her ideals of love and peace, she'll annoy anyone into submission!"

Laharl gestured to the woman(?) standing beside him, a short, spindly girl of a mere 1500 years with a face that made birds cry and the sorts of gigantic blue eyes, round and deep like swimming pools, that would make even the heartiest of Olympic athletes turn to drugs to help him sleep on his pile of gold. Her nose was that of a small dog. Her feet looked like flippers crammed into shoes cobbled out of ruby. Her figure did little to differentiate her from a Lego person. Her mouth looked as if its smile had not broken since the revelation that credit for the brilliant theatrical masterpieces of Lord Humperschnitzke von Winklemeyer would be going to some loudmouthed fratboy dandy from Stratford (which, you must understand, Flonne found extremely upsetting at the time). Her second most salient feature had to be the tiny horns sprouting from her otherwise angelic head next to the cute red ribbon tying the package of features together, forming a perfect match to the pointed tail sprouting from underneath her coat and waving around like it belonged to a puppy dog on a sugar high. Her most noticeable feature had to be the ornamental sparkles, stars, and flowery scepter with a heart on the end and flowers growing out of the heart and hearts blooming from the middles of the second tier flowers; these features were the sorts of things from which one drew inspiration for breakfast cereal marshmallow shapes.

Flonne was very nearly her own source of light. Parts of her, even those parts that emitted no light, looked as though they could partially illuminate a room, or at least give people cancer. Her entire appearance was enough to distract most of the people watching her from seeing the nearly equally odd sight of a pack of four upright, expressive penguins hauling the four corners of a wooden crate labeled "Karaoke Machine" on their shoulders. This was just as well, as the penguins, of a subspecies known as the "Prinny," were in no mood to be gawked at, and the younger among the crowd probably would not recognize half of the four letter words the penguins grunted as they struggled with their crate, had they been paying attention to the penguins at all.

In fact, there was no sign that anyone, old enough for R rated language or not, noticed the Prinny Squad until they blocked the ensemble's view of Flonne long enough for their eyes to adjust to the darkness again. With a grunt, a "dood!" or three, and a few more unprintable words, the front two Prinnys drew crowbars from who-knows-where and leveraged the sides of the box open, revealing, indeed, a karaoke machine.

Fallen Angel Flonne plugged the machine in at a power outlet that probably should not have been present in a prison cell, and which probably would not have been were it not essential for the joke. She dug out a microphone, set her song, and began to sing in a voice that reminded all listening of one of the major reasons torturing cats is not funny: "Here I am again, I've come to see you smile..."

The other villains cringed.

Calliope looked calm. "You like Air Supply?"

Flonne stopped singing. "I love Air Supply! They're my favorite band!"

"Mine too!" Calliope looked genuinely happy. "What's your favorite song?"

"The Power of Love!"

"Mine too. Got an extra mike?"

Flonne handed Calliope a spare microphone. "There ya go."

"We're heading for something…" Calliope and Flonne sang in unison. "Somewhere I've never been,

sometimes I am frightened but I am ready to learn about the power of love…"

The villains cringed to hear such a sappy song.

"Make it stop!" Dragaunus bellowed.

"I'm gonna get you for this, Laharl," Pram covered her ears.

Hades palmed his face. "Calliope, one. Us, zero."

XXX

"Why not me?" demanded Laharl, arms folded across his chest and face stuck in his best bratty snarl.

"Your wife is an angel," Loki observed. "You're reflected in the company you keep."

"Flonne's a fallen angel!" Laharl retorted. "She murdered hundreds of angels and got kicked out of Celestia."

"And Calliope?" Gant explained. "She's your half sister. Associating with one goody-goody is excusable, but two?"

Laharl's antenna-hair stood on end. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE'S MY HALF-SISTER?!"

"You didn't know?" Loki asked. "Before King Krichevskoy met your mother, he dated Queen Mnemosyne. Three thousand eight hundred eighty six years ago, he and Mnemosyne had a little bundle of joy named Calliope."

"Oooh..." chorused the other villains.

Laharl turned to the candidates and snarled. "Shut up!"

XXX

Meanwhile, Riku was staring up at the green dragon Myao had summoned. "What the hell…?"

To Be Continued


	21. In Water, Air, and Light

Riku stared up at the dragon. It was small, as dragons go, and its stance looked more...confused than threatening. He lowered his Keyblade.

"Where am I, good sir?" The dragon asked in an oddly high and feminine voice. "One minute ago, I was at a cafe reading my latest poetic masterpiece, and now I'm here."

"This is the Enchanted Countryside," Riku explained. "Who are you?"

"They call me the Reluctant Dragon. Just because I'd rather have tea parties than eat people and destroy towns."

Riku looked confused. "Don't the Rolling Stones do both?" The Dragon stared blankly. "Never mind. You write poetry?"

"Indeed I do. Want to hear my latest?"

"Sure."

The Reluctant Dragon cleared his throat. "This is called 'To an Upside-Down Cake'. Sweet little upside-down cake, cares and woes – you've got them. Poor little upside-down cake, your top is on your bottom. Alas, little upside-down cake, your troubles never stop. Because, little upside-down cake, your bottom's on your top!"

Riku stood still for a few minutes, then forced himself to clap. "That was terrific!" He was lying, of course. He actually thought the poem was terrible.

"I'm glad you like it," the dragon said. "Why don't we travel together? You can ride on my back."

"OK..." Riku replied, praying that the dragon wouldn't share any more of his poetry. "Where can we go, though? We're in the middle of nowhere."

"There's a castle in the distance," the Dragon said.

"How convenient for us," Riku responded.

XXX

Lulu, Tidus, Wakka, and Chappu stood on the edge of Weeping Lily Pond.

Lulu held up a sepia-tinted photograph of a girl. The girl's throat had been cut, and her pale skin was marred by cuts and bruises. "Is this the girl, Chappu?"

"I don't understand," Chappu said. "Why are you showing me this? What's the matter with you?"

"Is it her?" Lulu asked again.

"Yes, it's her," Chappu replied. "But she didn't look like that."

"Her name was Giselle," Lulu said. "This is an old crime scene photograph. She was a murder victim. Her body was found in the pond. Well, Weeping Lily Pond isn't technically a pond. It's a cenote. The Sacred Cenote."

"Sacred Cenote?" repeated Wakka. "What's a cenote?"

Lulu smacked her forehead. "It's a natural sinkhole made when surface limestone collapses and exposes groundwater."

"Why is it sacred?" Tidus asked.

"A long time ago," Lulu began. "There was a sea monster that terrorized the village. The villagers made a pact with the monster. The monster would be given a yearly tribute of young maidens in exchange for not destroying the village. And so six maidens were sacrificed every year."

"That's...barbaric!" Tidus cried.

"So what happened?" Wakka asked.

Lulu continued. "The maidens were devoured on the beach, and the monster would return to the sea. The villagers took the bones and threw them into the cenote. They called it 'the Sacred Cenote' to prevent people from disturbing the maidens' remains. Still, the locals considered it haunted by the spirits of the dead maidens."

"What's that got to do with Giselle?" Chappu asked. "And whatever happened to the sea monster?"

Lulu explained further. "Because the maidens and Giselle were denied proper burials, their spirits are trapped in the cenote and they cannot rest. As for the monster, a 'noble maiden' eventually came and slew it."

"Who was this maiden?" Tidus asked.

Lulu shrugged. "I do not know. Her name's been lost to history."

XXX

Sora found himself drifting off to sleep again, soothed by the peaceful ambience of the Garden of Gods.

_The sun was shining in a bright blue sky. Sora and Kore were swimming in a crystal-clear lake. Kore was wearing a white one-piece bathing suit. Sora wore a pair of black, red, and blue swimming trunks. _

"_Shall we get something to eat?" Kore asked. _

_Sora nodded. _

_Kore swam toward the lake's shore, where two pairs of sandals lay on the ground. Sora followed, slipping the larger pair of sandals on his feet. Kore led him through a verdant field. They reached an ice cream vendor. Sora ordered a strawberry ice cream cone, while Kore had a vanilla cone. _

"_This was my world," Kore explained. "Do you like it?" _

"_I do," Sora said, licking his ice cream. "Someday, I'll show you my world. The beaches, the smell of the ocean..." _

"_I can't wait." _

_For a few minutes, neither spoke. They simply enjoyed the taste of their ice cream. _

_Kore finished her cone. "The heart is shaken more by actions than by words. I'm about to shake my own heart. It's a sin, but I don't care. Close your eyes." _

"_Why?" Sora asked. _

"_So you don't witness my sin." _

_Sora closed his eyes. Kore kissed him softly on the cheek. _

_Sora felt himself blush. "Why?" _

"_I wanted to show you how much I care, rather than just telling you. I know I'll never take the place Kairi holds in your heart, but..." Kore trailed off. "That girl is your tomorrow, and I belong to yesterday." _

"_You are in my heart," Sora said. _

"_Sora, before you wake up, there's something I must tell you. There are going to be times on your journey when you'll be surrounded by darkness. But there's a light that will always shine through." _

"_The light of Kingdom Hearts," Sora finished. _

_Kore beamed. "That's right. So don't run or hide from the darkness, and don't despair when all seems hopeless."_

_The color in the landscape began to dull. _

"_You're waking up," Kore observed. "I'll always watch over you." _

"_Wait..." Sora cried as everything faded to gray. _

**Sora? **Roxas' voice sounded drowsy.

"I had another dream about Kore," Sora said. "I just got the feeling I won't see her again." He touched his cheek.

"You get dreams about hot babes. I get Axel dying on endless loop. I scream, but no one can hear me."

"Please don't scream in my head," Sora said. "I'll get a headache."

XXX

Erato was lying on a bed, unconscious.

Marjoly and a tall man were standing by her bedside. The man wore a white coat.

"I appreciate you coming here on short notice, Dr. Tendo," Marjoly said.

"No problem," Tendo replied.

"This is my poor daughter. As you can see, she's fallen into a coma. Unless she can get a heart transplant," Marjoly pretended to choke back a sob. "I have a donor heart, but I need a surgeon of your caliber to perform the operation. I'm willing to pay--"

"Beautiful women in trouble needn't worry about compensation," Tendo said. "However, I need time to prepare an OR. It's too dangerous to move your daughter to a hospital."

Marjoly smiled. "Yes, here is fine."

XXX

In the Velvet Room, Kairi looked at Gordon, who was reading a book titled _Murder: Do It Yourself. _She looked at the other books on the coffee table: _The Complete Idiot's Guide to Getting Rid of the Competition _and _Murder for Dummies_.

"Aren't you going just a little overboard?" Kairi asked.

Gordon closed the book. "There's nothing in these books about killing something that's already dead!"

XXX

Pram, Sylar, Genesis, Gantu, Dragaunus, and Vayne were strapped to white chairs. The chairs were arranged in front of a large pipe organ. The organ loomed ominously, the brown and silver bright against the white walls of Castle Oblivion.

"What's next?" Gantu asked. "It can't be any worse than that last challenge."

Genesis agreed. "Whose idiotic idea was it for us to parachute into Halloween Town?"

"I sure hope Niska was faking those chest pains," said Dragaunus. "Jack Skellington was just trying to give him a hug."

"Whatever," Pram said.

Gant entered the room. "Since you all failed to get that information from Calliope, I have a new challenge for you. This is a simple endurance test. The first to drop out loses." He seated himself at the organ and began to play his theme music, which echoed across the castle and woke up a napping Loki and caused Lezard to drop a test tube of sulfuric acid on his left boot.

The candidates winced, except for Sylar. Sylar writhed in his chair. Blood poured from his ears. Unfortunately for him, his tympanic membrane would rupture, heal, and rupture again. The pain was becoming unbearable.

After two and a half minutes, Gant stopped playing and turned around.

Sylar fainted, blood still streaming from his ruptured eardrums.

"Whoops," Gant said. "Forgot you had superhuman hearing, Mr. Gray. Everyone else, congratulations. You pass to the next round."

"What?" chorused the temporarily-deaf candidates.

XXX

The Velvet Room was quiet. A grandfather clock ticked away the hours. Auron, Kairi, and the residents had retired to bed, leaving Gordon alone in the dark main room.

Gordon tossed aside his book with a sigh. "Who am I kidding? Dying only served to piss Auron off."

"Gordon?" Maia asked, entering from her guest room. She was wearing a green dress she bought in Port Royal before the unfortunate hostage crisis.

"What is it?" Gordon asked, shoving the books under the coffee table. "Are you having insomnia?"

"I wanted to show you something," Maia said. "Come with me."

Gordon followed Maia out of the Velvet Room. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see. Just trust me." There was a note of playfulness in Maia's voice.

XXX

"Eureka!" Euterpe cried. "I've found it."

"Found what?" asked Goofy.

"The solution to our 'little' problem," Euterpe said. "I knew we'd find something here. According to this, a human named Gregor Framkin created a televised puppet show called _Smile Time. _The show's ratings hit the skids, so Framkin made a deal with some devils to boost the ratings to number one in its time slot. Unfortunately, he didn't read all the fine print in the contract. The demons possessed his puppets and took over the show. They created some nuanced magic to turn the viewers' televisions into conduits that drained the viewers' soul energy. And since the show was aimed at children, several kiddies fell into comas."

"Um..." Goofy said.

"That sounds...ridiculous," Donald commented.

"So is our current predicament," Euterpe retorted. "These particular demons have a distinctive MO."

"MO? Mo?" Goofy asked.

"Modus operandi," Euterpe said. "I see someone slept through their Latin lessons."

"So they did this before _Smile Time_?" Donald asked.

Euterpe smirked. "Ever see the last few episodes of _Seinfeld_? But the demons in the _Smile Time_ incident were defeated by the vampire Angel. Not to be confused with Angelus, his bastard-coated bastard with bastard filling self. The energy was returned to the children. We're dealing with copycats."

"So what do we do?" Donald asked.

Euterpe held up a spellbook. "We go back to the egg-thing, and use this counterspell to break the seal holding the energy. We break the seal, the energy goes back where it belongs. And we turn back to normal."

XXX

Gant was holding four black roses.

"Please rise when I call your name," Loki said. "Cutthroat Bitch?"

"My name is Pram," Pram said indignantly as Gant handed her a rose.

"Whatever," Loki replied. "Vayne?"

Vayne stood up and quietly took his rose.

"Dragaunus?" Loki announced.

Dragaunus gingerly accepted the black rose.

"Gantu," Loki said.

Gantu breathed a sigh of relief.

The four candidates looked at Genesis.

Genesis arched an eyebrow. "Oddly enough...I'm relieved." He rose, red leather coat billowing behind him. "Even if the morrow is barren of promises, nothing shall forestall my return."

The other villains booed.

XXX

Polyhymnia stirred in her bed at the Hotel Rosenqueen. "Where am I?"

"One of the many Netherworlds," Terpsichore explained.

"We're going to Disney Castle once you feel okay," Mickey said. "Are you feeling better?"

"I hate this place," Polyhymnia declared. "The wallpaper is yellow."

"You don't like yellow?" Mickey asked.

"Lodovico's lab had yellow walls," Polyhymnia explained. "Yellow walls make me sick."

There was a knock on the door. "Room service!" came a voice from outside.

"We ordered no room service," Terpsichore said.

"It's on the house," the voice added.

Polyhymnia stiffened. "I know that voice...!"

The door opened, to reveal a tall, thin man with a cart of food. The man was not wearing a hotel uniform, but a tuxedo under a purple silk robe. "Hallo there!" The man smiled and held up his palm, fingers spread apart in a Vulcan salute. "Your Majesty King Mickey, Lady Terpsichore, my dear Pollyanna..."

"Lodovico..." Polyhymnia said, her voice shaking. "You better leave if you know what's good for you."

"That's Lodovico?!" asked Mickey.

Lodovico crossed the room to Polyhymnia's bed and bent down to give her a kiss on the cheek. "That's no way to talk to me."

Polyhymnia let out a whimper of disgust.

"I thought Calliope had destroyed you," Terpsichore said coldly.

"I took Pollyanna to a Star Trek convention," Lodovico explained. "Then Calliope came out of nowhere and struck me down. But I managed to sneak out of the Astral Plane. It took me twenty years to reconstruct my material body, but it was worth it."

"So you want to experiment on me all over again?" Polyhymnia said angrily. "Is that it? I'm not a little girl anymore."

"Is that so?" Lodovico asked. "If only I had the partnership of someone with a Keyblade, we could subdue all of Mnemosyne's daughters and drain their energy. Enough for all the worlds. What do you say, Your Majesty? Don't you want to be a hero with me?"

Mickey shook with anger. "A hero?! How does kidnapping and torturing little girls make one a hero?!"

Lodovico laughed. "Kidnapping? Torturing? What kind of a sick bastard do you take me for? Shiro Ishii?"

Mickey frowned. "Kidnapping and torture is kidnapping and torture. You can't get around that."

"What's one little organ farm against meeting the energy and health demands of the entire universe? The good of the many outweighs the good of the few or the one."

"No," said Mickey. "A wise man once taught me that an individual's fundamental rights are, at their heart, more basic than even the good of a society. You can't decide ethics by mob rule if you want any sort of coherent system of morals. It's been tried, and it's never worked."

"She has rights?" Lodovico sneered. "Her? That creature? She is the one who tried to seduce me! She's a dirty girl! Dirty! She deserves whatever she gets."

"Nonsense!" said Mickey. "That's not the Polly we know. You're twisting things for your own ends."

"You want to see twisted?" said Lodovico. His face twitched. Ominously.

"I think we already did," said Mickey.

"You're gonna see twisted now," said Lodovico, and he took a step back from Polyhymnia's bed. His face twitched again, and then it tightened, as if the skin were being pulled against the bones of his cheeks, and two nasty looking mandibles broke through the skin, which grew darker and, somehow, hairier. His eyes clumped together and merged into a giant eyespot, which then separated into smaller, black, buglike eyes. Extra limbs sprouted from his sides, four in total, segmented, covered in hair, with pointed toes where the hands or feet might have been were they more humanoid. And he began to grow. When his transformation was done, he was a ten foot tall spider cyborg, half mechanical, half venomous arachnid. His eyes flashed red.

Mickey drew his Keyblade.

"Come on, Your Majesty!" Terpsichore cried. "Let's leave footprints all over his stupid smug face!"

To Be Continued...


	22. The Name of His People is Fear

"Please," Lodovico, or rather, his monster form cried. His voice was deeper than his human form. "I will give you a second chance, King Mickey. Give me Pollyanna and that exquisite specimen next to you."

"Never!" Mickey snapped.

"I suppose I'll have to argue more to convince you," Lodovico said. "Fair enough. You look like a reasonable mouse. Experiment 447, A through M. Experiment 447-A started out simple. I extracted a small sample of Test Subject 1's liver. It regenerated into a full liver in my petri dish while her remaining liver repaired itself. I repeated the experiment several times, taking different sizes of samples. Each one grew into a transplantable liver. None of the transplant recipients reported rejection, even the ones who turned down immunosuppressants. Unfortunately, the other organs do not possess this regeneration ability. But to have an infinite and rapid supply of livers is a wonder. So poetic, too. Polyhymnia, the savior of humanity, quietly enduring her fate."

Terpsichore curled one hand into a fist. "Lodovico, I have two questions for you."

"I will answer them, sweet angel," Lodovico replied. "Once you and the King see the necessity of this, I'm sure you'll be willing to help."

Terpsichore shook her head in disgust. "Why Poly?"

"Oh. That was the work of fate, nothing more. I was in the Thornbriar trying to think of how I could find one of Mnemosyne's daughters, when I heard Pollyanna's singing. I originally wanted the prophetess, but that siren song turned my heart to Polyhymnia. She was picking yellow roses – to give her mother for Mother's Day, if memory serves me right."

"Has anyone told you that you talk too much?" Terpsichore interrupted.

"I trust you wish to move on to your next question?" Lodovico asked.

Terpsichore gave a slight smile. "By whose hand do you wish to die? King Mickey's, or mine? Swift, or one in which I do some of the sick and twisted things you did to my little sister?"

"If I may ask a question of my own," Lodovico began. "Why do you refuse? You were created to help mortals, were you not? Has it occurred to either one of you that people are suffering? Many worlds are in an energy crisis. Some worlds are rapidly depleting their fossil fuels. And don't get me started on the whole mako mess. The worlds need a viable source of cheap, clean energy. And if that weren't enough, think of the advances in medicine we'd be making. No having to harvest organs from donors. And so much more to learn. It is rumored that consuming the heart of one of Mnemosyne's daughters has an anti-aging effect, but I didn't have time to develop experiments to test that idea. To stop the aging process is a noble endeavor…"

"Gee, what a surprise," Terpsichore said sarcastically. "You want immortality. Mad people want immortality."

"Mad?" Lodovico said. "I'm not mad! A little perturbed, but not mad!"

"You miss the point, you bishounen Mengele," Terpsichore sighed, palming her face.

"There you go again," Lodovico said, hopping up and down briefly and making the floor shake under the weight of his half-ton mechanical spider form. "Insulting me for no reason. I am not like Mengele. I have no interest in eugenics, or new concepts in medical torture. Those are vile realms in which enlightened beings should never dabble. All I want to do is preserve the worlds and ease suffering. My intentions are, as they ever were, pure. But to answer your question, Lady Terpsichore, I do not intend to die today." Lodovico extended one of his metallic legs and wrapped it around Polyhymnia and lifted her into the air.

"Poly!" Terpsichore cried. "Let her go!"

"I respectfully decline," Lodovico said. "Since it is obvious neither you nor King Mickey will change your mind, the time for words is over."

Mickey ran forward and slashed twice at Lodovico's face, gouging out his eight eyes.

"Quite a skillful maneuver, Majesty," Lodovico said as blood streamed from the wounds. "Allow me to demonstrate the healing power of Divine Materialize Energy." The arm holding Polyhymnia squeezed her, making her scream. White energy seeped from her body into Lodovico. The eyes stopped bleeding and regenerated. "Ah, that brings back memories. Pollyanna's song is sweet, but how infinitely sweeter are her screams."

"Darn," Mickey remarked. "I was hoping to incapacitate him long enough for us to free her."

"Guess we'll just have to free her first," Terpsichore said. She twirled. "Dance of Bravery. There. Our attacks will do more damage."

Mickey hurled his Keyblade at Lodovico. It returned to his hand. While Lodovico was watching Mickey for his next move, Terpsichore ran forward and leaped into a tour jete, landing on Lodovico's head.

"Ow!" Lodovico cried. "Eat too many candy bars?"

"Shut up!" Terpsichore snarled. "Tetrakarn!" A yellow spherical shield took shape around her. "Ready, Mickey?"

Mickey nodded, then ran up to Lodovico, jumped and aimed himself at Terpsichore. He bounced off the Tetrakarn shield, turning direction in midair – toward the arm clutching Polyhymnia. As he neared it, he held his Keyblade out. The Keyblade sliced through the junction of the arm and Lodovico's body. The arm was sheared clean off. Polyhymnia crashed to the ground, still wrapped in the arm.

Mickey cut away the arm from Polyhymnia. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Polyhymnia replied, though sweat beaded her forehead.

Terpsichore jumped off Lodovico's head and joined them. "We can take him."

"Cluster F-bomb!" Lodovico cried. He then let out a string of curse words that common decency would not allow the author to transcribe here. Suffice to say, the words included George Carlin's favorite seven words, among others.

Mickey staggered. His round ears leaked blood. He wobbled as if drunk.

"What just happened?" Terpsichore asked. "Lodovico just cussed us out and Mickey's all…?"

"He's a Disney character," Polyhymnia explained. "They're sensitive to the really bad ones. Like the ones Lodovico just spewed out."

"Why aren't our ears bleeding?" Terpsichore asked. "Kingdom Hearts is a Disney series."

"Yes, but it is technically half-Square, half-Disney," Polyhymnia continued. "Pure Disney characters react badly. Half-Square, half-Disney characters like Sora and Riku would experience discomfort, but not as much. We're Original Characters, so we're immune."

Terpsichore shook her head. "Wait. Lodovico's…" One of Lodovico's arms slammed into her, knocking her over.

"Holy!" Polyhymnia raised her staff. A beam of white light shot from the staff's end and struck Lodovico.

Mickey rubbed his ears. "That really hurt."

"He has such a big mouth," Terpsichore said.

"I heard that!" Lodovico snarled.

Terpsichore glared up at him. "I've had enough of your grating voice!" She began to twist and step. "Samba of Silence! There!" She looked triumphant. "Much better. He can't cast spells or talk as long as I perform this dance."

"Good!" Polyhymnia declared. A spell seal appeared below her. "Ye of detestable name and virtue, false apostle, thou art bade back to the abyss. Seraphic Law!" A yellow spear of light came down from the heavens and impaled Lodovico.

Lodovico charged at Polyhymnia, but Mickey moved in front of her and let off a flurry of hits with his Keyblade. Lodovico winced, but gave no audible gasp due to the silence spell. Then he changed direction and charged toward Terpsichore.

"Eeek!" Terpsichore stopped dancing and stepped backwards. "Hey, little help here, guys!"

"Coming right up," Mickey said. "Poly?"

Polyhymnia nodded, and waved her staff over Mickey. "Aura!"

Mickey charged forward. "Disaresta!" His foot hit Lodovico's backside and set him flying a few feet upwards. Mickey slashed upwards, putting a tear in Lodovico's mechanical-spider body the length of a small car. Mickey swung his Keyblade over his head and struck Lodovico again at the apex of his upward arc. Lodovico crashed to the ground, sending up pieces of the polished rainforest wood floor and damaging it to the point where the Rosenqueen family would be delighted with the high insurance payout. Mickey remained floating in the air and sent several large pearl orbs down. Most of them hit Lodovico, with a few strays putting more craters in the floor. Mickey finally threw down his Keyblade, which Lodovico nimbly ducked, but he faded into the smoke created by the explosion.

"AAAAARGH!" Lodovico screamed. When the smoke cleared, he had shrunk down to his human form. His white shirt and his cape were stained with blood. "I'm dying?" He looked toward Polyhymnia. "I trust you will do the right thing, my angel."

Polyhymnia looked back at him. "No."

"That was not a request, my dear," Lodovico said.

"I don't take orders from you," Polyhymnia answered. "I am not your servant, or your toy."

Lodovico coughed. "You can't just leave me to die! It's not in your nature! You're a doctor! You are bound by the Hippocratic Oath! You're obligated to save me!"

"She might be, but who's going to report her?" Terpsichore asked. "And still, it's just so enjoyable watching you die."

Polyhymnia took out her purse. "I've been meaning to give you back something." She pulled out a pair of rusty ten-inch retractors. "You left these inside me in your last experiment!" She threw them at Lodovico. They bounced off his face and he winced. "I would tell you to be more careful next time, but there's not going to be a next time." She kicked him hard in the solar plexus.

"Fine," Lodovico said, clutching the area where Polyhymnia had kicked him. "But know this. I self-published my thesis. Every world with written language has circulated copies. People like me, who wish for better worlds, will read it. And then they'll act. They'll find you, Pollyanna, and your sisters too. I may die now, but my vision will never die. I only wish I had lived to see it come to fruition…" Lodovico sank into the floor and ceased to breathe.

Polyhymnia sank suddenly to her knees and let out a scream that shattered every piece of glass in the hotel. (Most of the demons heard it, having superhuman hearing, but shrugged and figured it was just business as usual.)

Mickey ran to her. "Are you okay?"

Polyhymnia gasped. "My head. It hurts…"

"It's probably the spell breaking for good," Terpsichore observed. "Lodovico just died. She's in no condition to walk. I'll teleport us to your Castle. Then we can get another Gummi ship and find the others."

Mickey picked up Polyhymnia. She felt solid, but light in his arms. "Right."

Terpsichore pressed her palms together. She chanted a spell. A spell seal appeared on the ground below her, Mickey, and Polyhymnia.

Mickey concentrated on holding Polyhymnia. He looked up to see the gates of Disney Castle. He set Polyhymnia down gently.

Queen Minnie ran to Mickey. "Mickey, where have you been? We couldn't reach you!"

Polyhymnia staggered to the Queen. "Your Majesty, could you cast 'Endogenous Morphine Analgesia'?"

"That spell is several times more powerful than morphine!" Minnie protested.

"Evil wizard...cast a complex spell on me," Polyhymnia said slowly. "The spell just broke, but I've got a bad case of mind spell hangover. I'd cast the spell myself, but I'm in too much pain. I can't concentrate." She sank to her knees.

Relieved she didn't have a juvenile immortal junkie on her hands, Minnie's expression softened. "Come inside."

XXX

"So we're down to three: Pram the Oracle, Vayne Solidor, and Overlord Dragaunus." Loki faced Gant, Hades, Cartman, and Lezard.

"I think Amityville is getting impatient," Gant observed.

"Which is why I've got the perfect way to make our final selection," Loki sounded excited. "We have a beauty pageant!"

The others stared blankly.

"Why?" asked Cartman.

"Only one is a woman," Lezard said. "Not that I need to watch beauty pageants. I'm not pathetic and lonely..." He stopped short. "Ignore that last part."

"I'd like to ignore all of your speech," Loki said. "But alas, we're stuck working together. Anyhoo, I even got one of the eliminated contestants to return and coach our contestants. In exchange for him not suing us for the food poisoning he got from Miss Sage." He clapped his hands. "Androgynous dude in a thong and stupid Macaroni feather!"

"My name is Kuja," Kuja stood in the doorway, hands over his hips.

"Whatever. Just send the contestants in when they're ready." Loki waved. Kuja rolled his eyes and left.

Cartman was eating from a large bowl of cherries, grapes, apples, and pears. "Man, there are a lot of fruits here!"

"And the biggest one in this castle isn't edible," Gant said.

"This better not take long," Lezard whined. "I have to get back to my laboratory. I'm working on the ultimate anti-Sora weapon..."

"Yawn," Hades said.

Lezard frowned. "Why did you say 'yawn'?"

"Because when I actually yawn, you don't get the hint," Hades answered.

"Are you implying that I am boring?" Lezard asked.

"No. I'm outright saying it. You're about as interesting as watching paint dry."

"At least you didn't call me a dirty old man," Lezard said. "That counts for something."

Meanwhile, the three contestants were talking amongst themselves.

Vayne wore an old-fashioned bathing suit. The kind consisting of short pants and a tank top. It had wide blue and white horizontal stripes.

Dragaunus had simply removed his cape and some of his armor, so only his torso and legs were covered.

"How would you be able to swim in that?" Pram asked. She was clad only in a black bikini that left little to the imagination.

"Yes," added Vayne. "Wouldn't the armor weigh you down?"

"Of course it would," Dragaunus said. "But Saurians swim in the nude, so I thought this would be best. For modesty's sake."

Pram palmed her face. "We did not need to know that."

"At least he has some sense of modesty," Vayne said. "Unlike..."

"Stuff it, Solidor!" Pram snapped. "Kuja picked this out, not me! And he told me to stuff the top! How dare he insinuate my chest is flat! I ought to hex him. Or flay him."

"I could eat him for you," Dragaunus offered. "But there's an expression that you are what you eat, and well..."

"He is of little consequence," Vayne said. "A mere cameo in the grand scheme of things."

"You're giving too much away," Pram said, trying to cover herself with her arms. "This is so humiliating."

Kuja came to them. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," Vayne and Dragaunus said.

"No," Pram said.

"Majority rule, not consensus," Kuja said. "Walk this way."

The three candidates imitated Kuja's way of walking to the hall. They entered the meeting room, which was...empty, save for Calamity, sitting on an ivory chair in the middle of the room.

"Um, where is Loki? And Hades? And Mr. Gant? And that odd bespectacled wizard?" Kuja asked.

Calamity smiled. "I decided to be the judge of their little pageant. This whole selection process has gone on long enough." She sipped from a crystal goblet filled with clear fluid. "My decision is final. Do you three understand?" They nodded nervously. Calamity finished her drink and set it down on the marble table. She stood up and walked toward the contestants. She placed her arms around Vayne and kissed him softly on the cheek.

Vayne blushed. Pram looked horrified. Dragaunus looked away.

"Prove your devotion to me," Calamity whispered. She held out her left hand. An ornate platinum ring set with a large black opal was on her ring finger. "Kiss it."

Vayne bowed. "It is only good etiquette for me to kiss a lady's hand." He bent and kissed her ring.

"Don't let her kiss you again," Pram whispered. "For she might kiss you to death."

XXX

Riku dismounted the Reluctant Dragon and looked ahead. A beautiful golden gate was a few feet away, leading to an elegant castle. Riku stepped toward it.

"Wait!" The Reluctant Dragon cried. "There are rumors about this place. Scary ones."

"What kind of rumors?" Riku asked.

"That an evil monster lives in that castle," the Dragon answered. "And worse: he used to be human."

Riku shrugged. "So what?"

"You're still going?" asked the Dragon.

"Yes," Riku answered. "What's the matter? Scared?"

"Of course I am!" the Dragon replied.

"What do you have to be afraid of?" Riku asked. "You're a large, fire-breathing dragon. But if you really feel too scared to continue, then I'll go on without you."

"You sure?"

"Yes. I'm used to being alone."

"I'm very sorry to hear that," the Dragon replied. "I guess this is where we part ways. Farewell, Sir Riku of the Isles of Destiny." The dragon turned and ran back the way they came.

Riku raised his Keyblade. A thin beam of light shot from the tip and the gate swung open. "Keyblade...never leave home without one." He continued down the path to the large doors of the castle. He banged on the doors.

One door creaked open, revealing a portly man in a handlebar mustache and a rather puffy doublet and breeches.

"Um, hello," Riku said. "I'm...lost."

"To where do you wish to go?" the man asked.

"I don't know," Riku admitted. "I'm trying to find a girl. We were traveling together, and she got kidnapped."

"What does the girl look like?"

"Really pretty, brown hair?"

"Her name wouldn't happen to be Belle," the man asked, frowning. "The mistress of this castle?"

"No." _Why does that name ring a bell? _Riku continued. "The girl I'm looking for is not from around here. I might know Belle, though."

"Come in," the man said in a clipped tone. "Belle is not here at the moment. Neither is the master. But you are free to wait if you wish."

"Master?" Riku asked as he stepped into the front foyer. "You aren't the master?"

"Of course not," the man said. "I am Cogsworth, the butler."

"And what exactly do you do?"

"I buttle, sir."

"Which means what?" Riku replied.

"I like to keep everything tidy." Cogsworth looked at the foyer. "You'll have to excuse the mess. Several members of the help are on vacation this week."

_What mess? _Riku thought. Not a speck of dirt was visible on the carpets and tapestries in the foyer, nor was there dust on any of the antique-looking wooden furniture. Riku concluded that Cogsworth was perhaps wound a bit too tight.

"The master and mistress should arrive shortly," Cogsworth began.

"Okay," Riku said. He tried to think of something to say or ask, but came up blank. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't hear the door to the foyer re-open.

"Sir, Prince Adam and Princess Belle," Cogsworth said, jarring Riku out of his reverie.

Riku stood up. He tried to remember what his mother said. _Remove your hat. Stand up straight. Bow. _He bowed, then looked up at the newcomers.

Prince Adam was a tall, well-built young man in a white doublet and black velvet breeches. He carried himself proudly, like a prince, yet Riku shouldn't shake the feeling that there was something underneath that patina of gentility. Something feral.

Princess Belle looked vaguely familiar, with long brown hair and large dark eyes. She wore a black dress with pearl buttons. Riku couldn't place her, though.

Adam suddenly snarled and pounced on Riku, slamming him to the floor.

"Hey!" Riku cried. "What's your problem?"

"You have the gall to show up uninvited in my castle! After you stabbed me!" Adam gripped Riku's neck and began to squeeze.

"Adam, stop it!" The woman said. "Put him down!"

Adam sighed and released Riku.

"Saved by the Belle," Cogsworth commented. Adam, Belle, and Riku turned to look at him. Cogsworth fidgeted under their gaze. "Well, the usual comic relief around here is Lumiere, but he's...never mind. I think I'll go see if the silver needs polishing." He bowed and disappeared into a shadowy corridor.

Riku looked at Adam. "I've never even met you before! I'd remember a face as pretty as yours. Not that I'm gay or anything. Talking to you, yaoi fangirls."

"What?" Adam asked, looking confused.

"Never mind," Riku said. "You have the wrong person." He rubbed the welt on his head. "Are you a prince or a professional wrestler? That really hurt." He reached into his pocket for a potion. Erato's bracelet tumbled out and landed on the navy blue carpet. Its red stones glittered in the dim light.

Adam stared at the bracelet. All the color left his face.

"Are you all right?" Belle asked.

"That bracelet," Adam said. "Where did you get it?"

Riku picked it up. "Erato gave it to me."

"Erato," Adam said slowly. "Is that her real name?"

Riku shrugged. "I think so. Her father's name is...Petrelli, if that means anything. Why? Do you know her?"

"I could never forget her, or the way those rubies caught the light."

"How do you know her?" Riku asked.

"Yes," Belle said coolly. "How do you know this woman?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Adam asked. "She was the enchantress who cursed me!"

"Cursed you?" Riku asked.

"She tricked me. Years ago, on the coldest night of the year, she came to my door and asked for shelter. She offered a single rose. I turned her away, because, you see, she looked like an old beggar woman. A leper, even. She asked me to reconsider. I turned her away again. Then she showed herself for what she was. A beautiful but evil witch. And she turned me into a monster. The curse was broken, but...I must talk to her. I have to ask her why. Where is she?"

"I don't know," Riku admitted. "She was with me when we landed in this world, and she was taken by these two weird women and one weird guy. Wait..." He looked at Adam. "She turned you into a monster?" He vaguely recalled stabbing a bipedal fuzzy..._thing_. "You kind of sound like the monster I met at the gates of Hollow Bastion."

"So it was you!" Adam snarled.

Riku chuckled sheepishly. "Yeah. Real sorry about that. You see, too much exposure to darkness really plays with your mind. Everyone and everything looks like a nail, and you have a magic hammer. It's kind of like being drunk, only instead of being uncoordinated -"

"Enough!" Adam snapped. "I hate the witch far more than I hate you. I might even be willing to forgive you for that wound if you just take me to her."

"But I don't know how to find her," Riku said.

"I think there might be a way," Belle said. She reached into a pocket of her dress and drew out a glittering iridescent stone. "Here."

Riku took the stone. "What is this?"

"Divine Materialize Energy, mixed with other magicks and materials. It's called a 'Traesto' stone. If you hold it, think of the person or place you wish to go to, and break it, you will be instantly transported there."

"Where'd you get it?" Riku asked.

"I cannot say," Belle replied.

"What's the catch?" Riku asked.

"Only that you arrange a meeting with Adam, me, and this Erato person," Belle said. "I want to know her reasons for placing a curse on him. Surely it was more than being told 'no.' I'd like to meet her and see for myself."

"I'll try," Riku said. He crushed the stone in his right hand and vanished in a puff of smoke.

"Where did you get that thing?" Adam asked.

"I was sworn to secrecy on it," Belle explained. "Please don't ask me again."

Adam shrugged.

XXX

Euterpe, Donald, and Goofy walked down the dark and deserted streets from the Library of Demonic Congress, tracing their steps.

They came to a stop in front of the same deserted building they had landed in. Euterpe threw her weight against the door. "Um, I'm not as heavy as I used to be. Little help here?"

"I feel so foolish," Donald whined as he, Euterpe, and Goofy threw themselves against the door until it creaked open.

Euterpe, Donald, and Goofy traveled down the corridors back to the Don't Room. Euterpe turned the knob and they walked in. Donald pulled out the scroll on which the counterspell to release the energy from the giant, glowing egg was written. He began to read it. The egg-like object cracked. The cracks widened, until finally it shattered. The room went dark.

"I can't see," Goofy said.

"Someone's coming!" Euterpe said. "And it's not a demon. Or…human."

"What is it?" Donald asked.

"The puppetmaster of this whole scheme, no doubt," Euterpe answered.

A spotlight near the door of the Don't Room flickered on, bathing a figure in yellow light.

Donald gaped. "The puppetmaster…"

"Is a puppet?" Goofy asked.

Indeed, it seemed to be. The figure was a shapeless green form made of felt. "Who is the idiot who ruined my collection scheme?" The thing asked, voice sounding oddly thick and cheesy.

"We're those idiots!" Goofy declared. "Wait. That didn't come out right."

"Who are you?" Euterpe demanded.

The thing pointed at himself. "Me? May I ask you something?" He continued without waiting for an answer. "Ever heard of Kermit?"

"Kermit the Frog?" Euterpe asked. "Yes, I am familiar with him. Why do you bring him up?"

"Kermit is..." the figure began. "I guess you could say he's my brother. My little brother. Jacob to my Esau. Jacob, have I loved, but Esau have I hated and all that."

"So you stole energy to suck it up and become powerful enough to beat up Kermit, is that it?" Donald guessed.

"No," the puppet replied.

"Who are you, anyway?" Goofy asked.

"Wilkins," the puppet answered.

"Never heard of you," Donald said.

"That doesn't surprise me," Wilkins responded. "My father doesn't like to talk about me. As far as he is concerned, Kermit came first, and anything that came before him does not exist. He _abandoned _me, and for what? Kermit's a nice guy, but what does he do? He's boring, and totally not funny. That Gonzo guy, he's funny. So I decided to make others talk about me. My father may try to ignore me and hope the problem goes away, but sooner or later..."

"This whole thing was a ploy to get attention?" Donald cried. "I think this is the dumbest scheme we've ever run across."

"What's so dumb?" Wilkins shook with rage. "I just want my father to notice me again. I did everything he ever asked of me. I made him laugh, and I made people laugh. Back then, I starred in commercials for Wilkins Coffee with my buddy Wotkins. I wonder what he's doing nowadays."

"You lost contact?" Donald asked.

"Yeah. He's still kind of mad at me for shooting him out of a cannon, trying to drown him in a swimming pool full of coffee, burning him with a branding iron, shooting him with a pistol, and running over him with a steamroller."

"Why would you do such horrible things to your friend?" Goofy asked.

"Because it was funny," Wilkins replied, as if it were obvious. "And I lost my dignity on screen, too. And my head once. That was a trip and a half." He sighed. "I wish I could just return to that time."

Euterpe shook her head. "Wilkins, wishing for the past isn't going to do you any good. And stealing the lives of children might get your father's attention, but don't you think it's a little much?"

"How can you judge me?" Wilkins responded. "You have no idea how I feel -"

"Really, now? I have an older sister. My mother dotes on her – buys her jewelry, flowers, toys, expensive first-edition books, hand-crafted furniture. Hugs her, kisses her forehead, tucks her in at night...all while I watch and the jealousy burns a green fire in my heart. I've wished Calliope would die. I've even fought with her physically, but she always wins. The last time it came to blows, it took weeks for my cornea to heal...her nails are sharp! But so what? Parents always favor one child over any others. There are some sharks who eat their siblings. Kittiwake babies peck and harass their siblings so they fall over a cliff and die, while the parents just watch and let it happen. It's a fact of life. But, if your father refuses to love you, you can find love elsewhere. Close friends, or in romantic entanglements."

Wilkins thought a moment. "I suppose I could give cute female Muppets my number."

"That's a start," Goofy said.

"You've given me a bit to think over," Wilkins said. "Is there anything I can do for you in return?"

"You could try turning us back!" Donald snapped. "We're still puppets!"

"Oh, that will wear off in a few hours," Wilkins explained. "What's wrong with being a puppet, though? You're basically immortal. You just have to watch out for fire. And moths. And catching a thread on something."

Euterpe sighed. "I guess we just have to wait it out."

Donald groaned.

"Shut up. Let me cast my teleportation spell. I'll lock onto your King's Keyblade and..." Euterpe began to chant in some language Donald and Goofy didn't know.

A soft glow surrounded the three puppets. Donald closed his eyes to shield from the glow. The light dimmed, and he opened them. He saw a guest bedroom of Disney Castle. "Home, sweet home!"

"Donald! Goofy!" Mickey cried happily. "Um...why are you made of felt? And why are you so small? Do I really want to know?"

"Oh, we sort of got hexed by a jealous puppet," Donald said.

"Who sells Wilkins Coffee," Goofy added. "Come to think of it. Is he named after the coffee, or was the coffee named after him?"

"What do you think?" Euterpe asked.

"You look darling," Clio said. "Calliope would swoon if she could see you now. You know her weakness for cute things."

Euterpe rolled her eyes. "Yeah. Like when she tried to hug a Tonberry. Ugh, she's such a blockhead!"

"Euterpe!" Clio cried, shocked.

"She is," Euterpe said. "You just don't say so because she's our mother's favorite. That, and you're spineless."

"Should you really be insulting me?" Clio rose to her full height and looked down on the two-foot Euterpe.

Euterpe took out her spear, which had retained its size. She had no problems holding it despite her shortened stature.

Clio took out a camera and snapped a few pictures.

"What are you doing?" Euterpe snapped as the flashes went off.

"I'll show them to Calliope, and maybe post them in certain places..."

"You wouldn't!" Euterpe hopped up and down. She began to chase Clio around the room. "Give me that film! When I get back to my full size, you'll be sorry!"

XXX

Riku crashed to a floor somewhere. He rubbed his head and looked around. A group of people – doctors or scientists, judging from their white coats – stared at him.

"Who are you?" asked one of the people, a brown-haired man in his thirties, who was standing over a gurney and holding a scalpel. "How did you get in here? Who knows how many germs you brought in. Now we have to re-sterilize the room!"

Riku looked at the gurney. The patient was unconscious, but it was definitely Erato. "Erato! What are you sickos doing to her?"

The brown haired man looked confused. "Sickos? We're about to do a life-saving heart transplant. And we cannot continue until you...GOMOR."

"GOMOR?" Riku asked.

"Get out of my operating room," another white coated person – a thin woman with dark hair and a sweet voice – said. "Dr. Tendo, like most doctors, loves abbreviations."

"Erato doesn't need a heart transplant," Riku snapped. "You're lying!"

Dr. Tendo looked upset. "How dare you!"

"No," Riku sauntered up to Dr. Tendo. "How dare you. A doctor. It's the Hippocratic Oath, not the Hypocritical Oath. Primum non nocere. Do you know what that means?"

"First, do no harm," Dr. Tendo answered. "How dare you try to lecture me on how to do my job! I am going to do this operation, and no one is going to stop me!"

"I don't know what your deal is, but I don't like it," Riku replied. "And you know what I tend to do to people and things I don't like? I slash them." He drew his Keyblade. "Get away from her. Now!"

"No!" Dr. Tendo howled. "She'll die if I don't!"

"She's in no danger of dying!" Riku snapped. "She's an immortal goddess!"

"You are clearly insane," Dr. Tendo said.

"That would hurt, if you weren't nuts!" Riku bonked Dr. Tendo on the head with the flat side of his Keyblade. "There's no reason I shouldn't slit your throat now." He looked at the other doctors. "Next?"

The doctors turned and ran out of the operating room, leaving Erato on the gurney.

Riku approached her. She was breathing, albeit shallowly. "What did that woman say? Anesthetic lipstick?" He looked around for a cloth and found a few clean washcloths. He wet one using a faucet that had been installed (recently, it looked like) by the wall. He then took it to Erato and rubbed it across her lips.

Erato's eyes fluttered open. "Where am I?" She looked up at Riku. "You better have a good explanation for this..."

"I didn't do anything to do. I just woke you up." Riku protested.

Erato glared, pointing at the thin button-down hospital gown was wearing. It was open, revealing her chest. "Who undressed me?"

"Not me," Riku said. He pointed at Tendo's limp body. "That guy was about to give you a heart transplant."

"A heart transplant," Erato said slowly. "He...Marjoly. I'd know that dark magic signature anywhere. We have to get out of here. Turn around."

Riku turned around.

"Now I'm decent," Erato said a few minutes later.

Riku turned around. Erato was once more dressed in the outfit she wore before: white blouse, short skirt, denim jacket, high boots.

"You can gawk at me later," Erato said. "Now let's leave. I guess I'll have to teleport us to Disney Castle. That's where Mickey is."

"How do you know that? Your gift?"

"Yes. Guard the door. Nothing must interrupt me while I cast this teleportation spell." Erato pressed her palms together and began to concentrate. A yellow glow surrounded her.

The door swung open. Marjoly, known as the most wicked witch in the system of worlds, burst in. She looked rather upset.

Riku recoiled at her sight. "Wow, lady. Wearing all that makeup to hide your wrinkles. A push-up bra that's been stuffed. And such a skimpy outfit. Put on some clothes, woman! Aren't you cold?"

Marjoly looked upset. "I have clothes on! But I'll forgive you for that remark. You're so cute. Why'd you have to ruin everything? But it's not too late. I can try my hand at open-heart surgery, once I get past you and stop that girl's spell."

"I won't let you," Riku replied.

"Oh, I see," Marjoly said cheerfully. "You love her. Is that it? Well, hate to burst your bubble, but she has no intention of loving you back. And as for sex with her, forget it. She may look easy, but she's a lot more innocent than the rumors say."

"So you want to bathe in her blood or something?" Riku asked. "Is that why you had those three weirdoes kidnap her?"

"Her blood might be useful," Marjoly said. "But it is her heart I seek. Her heart is special. It contains beautiful memories. That heart, once consumed, can restore one's youth and beauty forever. So let me eat her heart, and I will become more beautiful than even her. What do you say, dearie?"

Riku snorted. "I don't care if you turn into Miss Kingdom Hearts. I won't let you hurt Erato."

"You barely even know her," Marjoly answered. "She's quite the heartbreaker, if you must know."

"Even if we just met, I'd protect her from you," Riku replied.

"But I'll be beautiful!" Marjoly argued.

"Beauty's worthless if you sacrifice innocent life to obtain it," Riku answered.

Marjoly raised her staff. "Dark Conjuration!" A pulse of black light shot at Riku, who ducked, but it hit anyway...and did absolutely nothing. "Darn it. Gao!"

Gao ran in. "Yes, my lady?"

"Write a memo. The Keyblade Master, Riku, is immune to dark spells. Also, he's very hot."

"Why are you having him write the memo?" Riku asked. "Couldn't you do it yourself?"

"Him?" snapped Gao. "I'm a girl!"

"Really?" Riku asked, sizing Gao up. "Oh. I get it. You're butch."

Gao's face flushed red. "How dare he! Marjoly, tell him what's what!"

"Actually," Marjoly said. "He's got a point. Maybe if you grew your hair long. And put on some makeup."

"I thought you said I looked nice," Gao protested.

"Oh, I was just lying to boost your self-esteem so you'd work harder. Come on, Gao. Look at yourself in the mirror once in a while. Actually, don't. The mirrors would crack and you don't want seven years of bad luck." Marjoly glanced at Erato. "Wait!"

Erato finished her spell and grabbed Riku, and both vanished.

Marjoly stared at the empty space they left behind. "Ooh!"

"Let me guess," Gao said with a sigh. "You're going to be in a bad mood for hours?"

Marjoly shook her head. "Hours nothing. We're talking weeks." She felt her forehead. "And lower the thermostat in this damn castle! I'm sweating and it's making my foundation run!"

"But you said you wanted to lower the energy bill..."

"Shut up and lower the thermostat already, or I'll use your guts for my garters!"

Gao groaned. "Yes, my queen."

XXX

Gordon had a dark handkerchief tied around his eyes and Maia was leading him somewhere. Judging by the smell of pine needles, a forest. "Where are we?"

Maia stopped. "I guess you can take it off."

Gordon removed the blindfold. "Good. I was afraid you'd dump me alone in some dangerous world and find a hot stud."

"Of course I wouldn't do that," Maia said. "This world is a bit dangerous, though. Lots of pirates. Also some feral boys who've lived for years without adult supervision."

Gordon looked around. They were indeed in a temperate forest. The only audible sounds were an owl hooting in the distance and the soft babble of a stream. "Where are we?"

"Neverland," Maia said.

"The place where Sora said he flew? And set some pirate captain's pants on fire? And tasted some authentic pirate rum? And met Peter Pan and a fairy?"

"Wait..." Maia said. "What?"

"Peter Pan and a fairy or pixie or whatever?"

"_Before _that."

"Oh. Authentic pirate rum? Rats. I wasn't supposed to tell you about that part."

"My Sora? Drinking underage?" Maia looked furious.

"To be fair, I don't think drinking age laws apply here. If there are any. I doubt it."

"My son still drank booze!"

"It was just a sip. The bottle he found was mostly empty."

"Do you know of any other illicit activities that Sora neglected to mention to me?"

"Hm, no. Unless you count gambling. He did a bit of that."

"In a seedy lounge with dancing girls, I bet," Maia kicked at a fallen twig. "I'm going to give him a talking-to when I find him. And possibly some spankings." She dug a velvet pouch out of her pocket. "It took some wheedling and coaxing from Elizabeth, but I managed to get some pixie dust. This will allow us to fly." She tossed a handful of dust on Gordon and a handful on herself.

"I can fly!" Gordon crowed. He took a running leap, only to crash to the ground. "Oww."

"You have to think happy thoughts," Maia said. "Like our honeymoon in your father's cabin. How the ground was covered with snow. The smell of the cedar. It reminded me – unconsciously, of course – of the pictures I had seen of Christmas Town. How we ran around like children, throwing snowballs. How we made a snowfamily. A snowman, a snowwoman, and a snowbaby. And then we went inside and we built a fire and just watched as the flames danced. How you fell asleep with your arms around my shoulders. I remember holding you, and thinking that all was right with the world." She began to float in mid-air. "Whee!" She flew up, above the trees."

"Hey! Wait for me!" Gordon cried.

"Catch me!"

Gordon jumped again. This time he gained a little altitude, but he sank to the ground again. "Darn. OK. I can do this. Just think happy thoughts. Seeing the playground island for the first time. Diving in that clear, cascading waterfall despite Goessen calling me an idiot. Then pulling him in and getting his hair wet. Holding Baby Sora for the first time. He was beginning to float too. "Yes!"

"Now you've got it," Maia said. "You can fly!"

Gordon caught up to her. He looked down. The forest stretched for a few miles.

Maia flew toward a large tree and landed at its base. Gordon joined her. They sat together under the shade of the branches.

"I wonder how long this tree's been around," Maia said. "Probably over a hundred years."

"That's nothing," Gordon replied.

"Yes, I suppose so," Maia answered. "Maybe it's just because I'm chronologically old that Sora seems to be growing too fast in comparison. He's only fifteen, and he's saved countless worlds now. But the burden might be too much for him. Why couldn't someone older, more resilient be chosen?"

"I'm sure the Keyblade has its reasons," Gordon said. "And I think I know why Sora was chosen."

"Why?"

"Santa said that I was different from other adults. That I retained the ability to love unconditionally. To dream. To hope. Retained it, from childhood. I think the Keybearer needed to have it. That's why it chose a young boy who has lived such a sheltered but happy life."

"That could be it," Maia said. "There's a story that's still told in the mortal realms. About how the worlds we live in today are fragments of a superworld. But there was a cataclysm. The world was lost, but light in the hearts of children brought it back. I don't know if it is true or not. This supposedly happened long, long before I was born. Before the Maiden of Light was born. My mother would have been little more than an infant at the time."

"I'd ask how old your mother is, but..."

"Smart decision," Maia said. "There are other things. There are so many that I can't quite figure out. Things that don't seem to make logical sense."

"Oh, Maia, you speak as if this whole series is supposed to make sense!"

Maia burst out laughing.

"It's good to hear you laugh again," Gordon said.

"Gordon, could I ask a strange question?"

"Go ahead."

"Souls either rejoin Kingdom Hearts forever or reincarnate until the moment they're free to join Kingdom Hearts. Do you think my first baby went to Kingdom Hearts? If so, is it happy now? Perhaps if it was meant to go there, I shouldn't feel bad about..."

"You know, I've been thinking about that incident since we started," Gordon said. "You told me that you fell down the stairs."

"Yes. I was bringing some dirty laundry downstairs. I felt a little lightheaded, and I guess I misjudged where the next step would be. And then..." Maia closed her eyes. "Why did Auron have to ask me if I lost another child? Is it that obvious? And why did he ask me to my face? He's such a jerk."

"He's a jackass, but I think I know what he was insinuating. That you blame yourself for your miscarriage."

"Of course I blame myself. I don't need a psychiatrist to know I've blamed myself all these years. If I hadn't fallen down, the trauma wouldn't have killed it. It's my fault. I never knew whether it was a boy or girl. I never gave it a name."

"Something always bugged me about that. You said you felt lightheaded before you fell. I think the miscarriage had started already. You just didn't notice the initial bleeding, and then the sudden blood loss made you dizzy and you fell."

"You're just trying to reassure me."

"I don't think a simple fall could induce a miscarriage. I'm no expert on anatomy, but I would guess a baby is pretty well-cushioned in there."

"This isn't really the time or place to be discussing that, though," Maia said, leaning closer to Gordon.

"Well, when or where do you want to continue?" Gordon asked.

"There's not going to be a better time or place. Just drop it," Maia sounded annoyed.

"OK, I get the hint. Change the subject." Gordon thought a moment. He took Maia's left hand in his right hand. "I'm going to take you to the finest jewelry stores on the mainland when we get home, and you're going to pick out your new ring."

"Aren't they ridiculously expensive? Those stores? I don't think they'd even let us in the door."

"We've gotten a few million munny just by slaying monsters and selling that weird stuff we found in the Stellar Graveyard. Man, people will buy anything. I think that munny is not taxable, too. Munny is no good unspent, right?"

Maia looked at her bare hand. "My hand does feel odd without it. But..."

"Let's renew our vows!"

Maia sat up. "What?"

"We should renew our vows. For one, there's thirty pounds of you that wasn't at our first wedding."

"That's not funny, Gordon Liori Pleiades."

"I was only kidding. I think you look better with the extra weight. Honest."

"But I can't go back with you."

"Go back with me?"

Maia began to sniffle. "Because I have to find Sora, and give him my power. Even that may not be enough. But if I do that, I'll perish."

"Perish? You'll die?"

"Yes. I should have told you from the start, but I didn't want to upset you."

"You think I'm not upset now?"

Maia continued. "And hearing you tell me of the things you want to do when this is over makes my heart stir. I want so badly to go home. To go to the mainland with you, to make my favorite cookies, to drink your tea, to have a picnic with you and Sora, to renew my vows to you. I keep thinking how unfair it all is. Then I hate myself for being so selfish. A mother cannot place her own needs above those of her child. Particularly when her child is the glue holding the worlds together."

"There has to be another way. There just has to be."

"Wait. Why didn't I think of this before?" Maia wiped a tear from her eye. "Materialization. Souls regenerate if pieces are lost. A large enough fragment of a soul will regenerate into a whole, like the original cell of a zygote splitting over and over into a new being." She took out the Jack Frost doll Gordon had given her. "I can use this object to hold a small portion of my soul. If my soul should be consumed, that piece will remain."

"I don't think Sora would want to consume your soul. He isn't like that. You know that."

Maia got up. "We should return to the Velvet Room before Auron notices we're missing. I want to consult Philemon on the plan of action my sisters are taking. This gambit might not even be necessary."

Gordon got to his feet and embraced Maia. "I'll make sure it isn't. I'm not going to let you die. I will protect you, to the last drop of my blood."

Maia hugged him back silently.

XXX

"NO!" Calamity screamed as she watched Gordon and Maia on her viewing ball. "NO! This isn't what was supposed to happen! Sappho, you stupid little…" She took a deep breath. "All right, this plan can still work. Just need to think it through linearly." She walked from her (Mnemosyne's technically, but that isn't important) office to the nearby lounge. "Lezaaaard! Lezard!" She peeked in the lounge.

Cartman was the only one there. He was currently scooping ice cream out of a gallon carton of _Scrooge McDuck's Sea Salt Ice Cream With Vanilla _blend.

Calamity gazed at him. "Cartman, do you know where Lezard is?"

"He's in the bathroom," Cartman replied. "He's been in there for like three hours."

"Three hours?" Calamity repeated. She palmed her face. "I knew giving him that picture of Lenneth was a mistake." She stormed toward the restroom. "Lezaaaaard!"

XXX

"Vayne, we really need to talk."

"Larsa? What are you doing here?" Vayne asked. They were in the library at Castle Oblivion. "I thought I sent you home with that Albedo fellow."

"That's the problem," Larsa replied, pushing some of his long hair back. His right ear was missing a lobe. "You do realize that Mr. Albedo is nuts, right?"

"Oh, I thought he only ate little girls."

"That's true, but then he said he was hungry and I looked enough like a girl, and then he bit me!"

"Terribly sorry, dear brother. But I did win the position..."

Larsa glared. "You suck so much, Vayne!"

XXX

Sora looked around the Garden of Gods. Some of the priestesses were tending the flowers. Others were reading, sipping tea, or playing cards with one another.

**Why don't you talk to those girls? **Roxas suggested. **They're cute. **

_Why? _Sora thought.

**Because I'm bored! **

_If I try to talk to one of them, you'll say something stupid through me and I'm the one who gets slapped in the face. I already got slapped by Kore. _

**That was your fault, not mine. And don't you think it was worth it? Kore has nice boobs. **

_You haven't seen her! _

**I've seen pictures. **

Sora was about to reply when a portal of light opened and Clio stepped out.

Clio extended her hand. "Quickly."

"Huh?" Sora asked.

"We've regrouped at Disney Castle. Everyone else is there: the King, Donald, Goofy, Riku, and my sisters. We need to decide our next course of action."

"But Philemon said to wait here," Sora protested.

"Oh, you met Philemon?" Clio asked. "Well, whatever business he has with you can wait. And if he's upset about it, he can discuss the matter with me. You're coming with me, Sora Pleiades."

"Okay," Sora said. He took Clio's hand. Clio pulled him into the portal and the portal vanished.

Sora and Clio reappeared in the guest room of Disney Castle. Sora glanced around. Urania was in one of the guest beds. Erato and Riku were sitting beside the mini-bar, sipping ginger ales. Polyhymnia was lying on one of the other beds, holding a damp washcloth to her forehead. Terpsichore was flipping through a book, but appeared to only be pretending to read it, as the book was upside-down. Euterpe, Donald, and Goofy – now reverted to their normal sizes - were playing Scrabble. Well, they were until Goofy tried to submit 'xing' as a word.

"It's on signs!" Goofy said. "It's a word!"

"No, it's not!" Donald insisted. "Don't make me get the dictionary!"

Mickey was holding a stack of papers as he sat across from Scrooge McDuck. "Mr. McDuck, I read your proposal for the welfare programs and budget allocations. Do you want to get upset now or later?"

"Ach, later," Scrooge said disgustedly. "I just ate."

"Your Majesty!" Chip ran into the guest room, Dale following close behind. Chip stopped, Dale did not, causing them both to fall down.

"Yes, what is it?" Mickey asked.

Chip got to his feet. "There's someone outside Disney Town. Someone who demands to see you. And the other warriors of the Keyblade."

"He refuses to get any closer to this castle," Dale added as he stood up. "Probably doesn't want to get too close to the Cornerstone."

Chip bopped him on the head. "More like refuses to get in range of our projectile and magic weapons. And if our soldiers try to close the gap, they might hit civilians in the town!"

"Oh," Dale said.

Mickey sighed. "I guess we should go investigate. Sora, Riku?"

"Right," Sora said.

"Do we have to?" Riku asked.

"It's a hostage situation," Dale added. "Chip, I can't believe you forgot to tell them that part!"

"I would have, if you hadn't slammed into me," Chip snapped.

"Who's the hostage?" Mickey asked.

"Some goth chick. Wears all black," Chip explained.

"Melpomene," Urania said. She tried to rise from her bed.

"Urania!" Clio snapped. "You're staying there."

"I'm fine!" Urania tried to push back her covers. "Unlike Melpomene, if we dick around here much longer!"

"No, you're staying here until you make a full recovery," Clio replied. "The rest of us will go with them."

"Goofy and me too," Donald cried, kicking the Scrabble board aside and spilling the tiles everywhere.

"A-hyuck," Goofy said. "Wouldn't want anyone to think we're worthless baggage or anything!"

"Let's go," Mickey said. Everyone except Scrooge and Urania went out the door, down the stairs, and toward Disney Town.

Upon reaching Disney Town, Riku summed up the situation with "You've got to be kidding me."

A fat, dumpy man stood just below the Disney Town entrance. He wore a wrinkled yellow suit. His eyes were magnified by coke-bottle glasses. He gripped a pale Melpomene in one arm, and the other arm held an antique spear to her side. The point loomed ominously an inch from her side. However, the man looked more nervous than Melpomene. Sweat poured down his face. The hand gripping the spear was shaking slightly. "You there! Sora!"

"Who are you?" Sora asked.

"I'm Mr. Snoops," the man said. "Stay where you are. Don't come any closer! I am here on behalf of her Grace, Oblivia. I...wait, let me check my notes." Snoops looked down. He frowned in confusion as he tried to figure out how to keep holding both the spear and Melpomene.

**It's Demyx all over again**. Roxas observed from his usual vantage point.

_Which one was he again? _Sora thought silently.

**Tall, skinny, water powers, whiny as hell? **

_Oh, that one! _Sora thought. _Yeah, I can see where you got that idea. _

Snoops finally gave up his conundrum and continued. "I remember the gist of it. My mistress wants to talk to you. Peacefully. But she won't feel safe if you have the Dainslef keychain. So she asked me to ask you to let me hold it while you negotiate with her."

Riku stared incredulously at him. "You expect us to believe that?"

"She said that you might say that," replied Snoops. "But this spear I'm holding is special."

"That can't be!" Clio insisted. "It isn't the Sacred Spear, Longinus! You're just bluffing!"

"It isn't a bluff," Melpomene said, her voice barely audible. "The terror I feel in my divine soul is telling me it is the true Longinus."

"I'm sure you'd take her word over mine," Snoops said. He mumbled his next sentence. "Unlessyouwantmetotestit...?"

"What?" Goofy asked.

"Unless you want me to test it?" Snoops said, looking horrified that he was uttering the sentence, almost as horrified as the expressions on the faces of Melpomene's sisters. "I mean, do you want me to?"

"NO!" Sora's party replied in unison.

"Good," Snoops said. "What comes next? Oh, right. I want you..." He nodded toward Sora. "You lay the Dainslef at my feet and back away slowly. No funny business. In return, I will give you the girl."

"Unharmed?" Erato asked.

"Yes," Snoops said.

"You won't hit her with it anyway?" asked Erato.

"Of course not," Snoops cried. "I don't even want to be here!"

"Don't give it to him," Melpomene said as loud a voice as she could muster, which wasn't very loud. "You cannot surrender it. My life is..."

"Shut up!" Snoops snapped. "Don't say anything more or I'll jab you anyway!"

"Leave her alone!" Goofy cried.

Snoops looked at Goofy with a mix of curiosity and disdain. "Why do you care so much about her? She's not related to you."

"I am," Terpsichore said. "May we deliberate a few minutes?"

"Just a few," Snoops said. "Then you have to make a choice."

Sora's party made a quick huddle.

"What's the Longinus?" Sora asked.

"A spear that exacts a terrible price," Mickey said. "Any living being pierced with it will bleed endlessly."

"So she'll die?" Goofy asked, pointing out the obvious as usual.

"Yes," Euterpe said flatly.

"This is very exasperating," Donald mumbled to no one in particular.

"Look at the way he's holding the spear, though," Mickey whispered. "It's not natural. And he's a nervous wreck. Let me try something." He left the huddle.

Snoops looked at him. "You made your choice?"

"Mr. Snoops," Mickey began. "You said that Oblivia wanted to talk to us. Is that true?"

"Yes," Snoops insisted.

"Do you know what she wants to talk about?" Mickey continued.

"That she doesn't want to fight you guys. That she'll go away if you do something."

"And what is that?" Mickey asked.

"I dunno. She wouldn't tell me."

"Well, I'd like to hear it. From her," Mickey used a very soothing tone of voice. "But why did she send you? Why couldn't she ask us herself?"

"She was afraid you'd attack her," Snoops answered. "So she sent me to give you the message. And she gave me this spear and the girl, and told me to stab her with it if you refused."

Riku shook his head. "We're having a hard time believing that. She just wants to talk, but she tells you to kill her niece if we don't just hand over our best advantage over her."

"She's afraid that you'll kill her!" Snoops cried. "And she told me that her offer to release one of the hostages would be proof of her sincerity!"

"We don't doubt that," Mickey said. "But Mr. Snoops, you're afraid of Oblivia."

"Of course I am!" Snoops cried. "She might dock my pay or yell at me, or something worse. Please. Don't make me go back to her empty handed."

"Calm down," Mickey said. "You see, I know you don't want to be in this situation, and neither do we. You proposed a trade. Dainslef for Melpomene. I propose a different trade. Sora agrees to hand the Dainslef to a neutral third party of his choosing, you take me as a hostage, and you release Melpomene."

Goofy and Donald gasped.

Mickey ignored them. "This way, Oblivia is no longer threatened. Negotiations can be opened. And I, as one of the Keyblade's Chosen, am a more worthy hostage. Does that make sense?"

"I suppose so," Snoops said.

"That girl hasn't done anything to make her deserve to die," Mickey said. "Let her go. You can trust me."

Snoops looked at Melpomene, then at Mickey. "I...I just can't! If I betray her, she'll kill me. She might kill me anyway!" He failed to notice his sweaty palm slipping down the spear shaft. The shaft slid forward and the point embedded in Melpomene's side.

Melpomene let out a cry.

Snoops looked down. "Oh, no! I didn't!" He looked at the party. "I didn't mean to!" He let go of Melpomene. For the first time, the party could see the chains that bound Melpomene's wrists behind her back.

Sora ran to Melpomene and quickly used his Keyblade to unlock the wrist shackles.

Snoops turned and ran.

"He's getting away!" Riku said. "In case you didn't notice."

"Forget him," Erato said. "That sycophant isn't worth the bullet I'd waste if I shot him in the head."

Sora took Melpomene gently and lay her down. He reached for the spear shaft as the others reached him.

"Wait," Polyhymnia said. "Don't pull it out."

"Why?" Sora asked.

"Tamponade," Polyhymnia explained as she put her hands to Melpomene's wound. White healing energy flowed from her hands into Melpomene. "If you pull it out, the blood loss will be too heavy. We need to repair some of the vascular damage before we extract it. If we can repair it."

Mickey raised his own Keyblade to cast Healing Light. White pulses began to flow over Melpomene.

Donald, Clio, and Erato began to cast their own healing spells.

Melpomene coughed up a mixture of phlegm and blood.

"Don't worry," Sora said. "We're here. We'll fix you up."

"But that legend," Riku began, then decided not to finish the sentence. He began to rummage in his pockets for a spare potion or elixir. He found only Erato's bracelet, a bottle of Keeping It Stiff hair gel (endorsed by Cloud Strife), a pack of gum, some munny, and lint.

Polyhymnia frowned. "She seems to be absorbing these healing spells fine, but her vitals aren't improving."

"She'll be okay," Sora insisted. "I've been stabbed, frozen, burned, poisoned. Do you know how many times I've been hit on the head and I can't cuss because the games are rated E?"

Melpomene gave a single giggle.

"I'm sorry," Polyhymnia said as she ripped off part of Melpomene's dress to reveal the stab wound. "It hasn't closed." She wiped sweat off her brow.

"I suppose it really wasn't a bluff," Clio said dismally.

"Is there anything we can do?" Euterpe asked. "Perhaps blood transfusions and life support can buy her enough time for Philemon..."

"Philemon is worthless!" snapped Erato. "What did you want him to do? Spread a rumor that this is not the Longinus? Is that what you were thinking, Sister Red Golden Hair?"

"Better that than nothing," Euterpe bowed her head. "We poured all our best healing spells into her, and they haven't even stemmed the tide of blood. She's going into shock."

Sora looked at Melpomene, who had lost consciousness. Her skin was shiny with sweat. "I have it!" Sora gripped the shaft of the Longinus and pulled. The shaft detached from the tip. "Whoops."

"Are you _trying_ to kill her?" Donald snapped.

"No. I thought maybe if we pulled out the spear, the effect of it will stop," Sora said.

"Except you forgot the Romans made their spears with detachable points," Clio said with a frown.

Polyhymnia took out her first aid kit and removed her forceps. "Let's try it."

"Idiot!" Euterpe shrieked. "What about the tamponade? If you pull it out, it'll be like a dam bursting!"

"She likely doesn't have enough blood left for that," Clio commented.

"Oh, shut up, Miss Know-It-All," Euterpe replied.

"It's all we can do at this point." Polyhymnia used her forceps to grip the spear tip, and gently eased it out. More blood began to flow from the wound. Polyhymnia set down the forceps and began to press on the wound.

"I'm drained," Clio said. "Does anyone have an ether I can use?"

"Power of Love," Erato chanted. "Damn it! Power of Love!"

"Vitals are critical," Polyhymnia said. "She doesn't appear to be clotting at all, and the vascular damage seems to be getting worse. Is there anything else we can try?"

The blood under Melpomene had turned bright red.

"Should we consider soul transfer?" Polyhymnia asked.

"Whom, though?" Euterpe said dryly. "Not you. If you do it, you'll sentence us all to death. You're our best medic."

"You're...right," Polyhymnia said.

"Well, I'm not volunteering!" Terpsichore snapped. Everyone turned to look at her. "Screw it. I'm not giving up my life for her. Don't look at me like that! I enjoy my life. There's so much I want to see, and do, and touch..." she looked embarrassed. "Why should I have to give up my life so my emo big sister can continue to live? She'd waste that life cutting her wrists and composing depressing operas in which everyone but the bad guy dies at the end! She makes _Gotterdammerung _look uplifting." Terpsichore had one hand clenched into a fist. "Where do you get off asking that question, Poly? Why should any of us die for her? Soul transfer is a horrid ritual that should be thrown away! Life is a terrible price to ask for continued life."

"There are many who would agree with you," Erato said dryly. "Yet there are many who would not."

Sora felt Melpomene's wrist. "I can't feel her pulse."

"Pronounce it, Polyhymnia," Euterpe said, removing her helmet.

"But, Euterpe!" Polyhymnia protested.

"Her heart's about to stop, and her breathing has ceased." Euterpe said. "There is nothing more we can do for her."

Polyhymnia looked at Melpomene. Her eyes were closed. She looked down at her own bloodstained hands. "Time of death: 6:21 P.M."

"No," Sora said, looking at his own hands. Melpomene's blood had stained them as well. "She wasn't supposed to die. I couldn't save her! I couldn't do anything!"

"We tried," Riku said. "We did everything we could."

"We need to take care of her," Goofy said. "We can't just leave her here."

Erato glanced at her wristwatch. "It should begin about now."

"What should begin...waak!" Donald pointed at Melpomene's corpse. "What's going on?"

Something was happening to Melpomene's body. It glowed, as if instead of internal organs, she had lit lanterns under her skin. It shined like magnesium that had been thrown into a fire. A flash of light lit up the area, making the viewers shield their eyes.

The flash faded. All that was left of Melpomene's body was a white ball of light floating gently above a single black hyacinth. Euterpe moved solemnly forward and took the ball in her hands.

"What is that?" Riku asked.

"Her heart and soul," Euterpe said. "Her essence. All that she is. Her memories, her personality, her power. Our bodies may look like normal bodies like yours, but they are only shells. When we die, our shells decay into this..."

"A flower?" Goofy asked.

"A hyacinth," Clio explained. "The emblem of doomed youth."

Goofy sniffled. "It's so sad." He blew his nose on his sleeve.

Euterpe moved toward Polyhymnia. "I trust you to hold her."

Polyhymnia looked at the orb. "Why me? Why don't you absorb it?"

"I know you'll take care of her. If her heart-soul complex is not placed in a suitable vessel soon, it will return to our mother's body. And I hardly need to remind you that our mother is not in control of that body." Euterpe held it out. "There is still hope. If we can oust Calamity out of the body, you can give the complex to Mother, and Melpomene will be good as new."

"How can you be sure of that?" Polyhymnia asked. "It's theoretically possible for our mother to materialize a divine heart-soul complex, but it's never been done before. Sappho died, and Mother never materialized her."

"Poly," Mickey said. "The tip."

Polyhymnia picked up the tip with her forceps and held it toward Mickey. "What do you intend to do with it?"

Mickey drew his Keyblade. A pulse of light shot from the edge and hit the spear tip. The spear point disintegrated into nothing. "That." He then picked up the shaft of the Longinus and broke it over his knee, over and over, until it was nothing but pieces on the ground.

A single tear ran down Sora's cheek. He wiped it. Terpsichore offered Sora a hug, which he gratefully accepted.

"We have no time to stop and mourn," Euterpe said. "We must proceed to the Fire Kingdom, in southeast Erion."

"And this illustrates why we can't be split up anymore," Clio added. "But Urania isn't in any condition to fight."

"She can stay with Minnie," Mickey said. "Let's return to the castle."

Polyhymnia took the orb from Euterpe. "One moment, though." She looked at the glowing white ball. "I hope you can forgive me, my dear Melpomene." She pressed it to her chest. It slid in with no resistance. Polyhymnia's own body glowed briefly, then faded. "She does not want you to be sad. She wants you to forget about her. To go on without her."

Nobody knew what to say to that.

To Be Continued


	23. Vestigial Dream

Polyhymnia bent down and picked up the black hyacinth.

"Let's go back to the castle," Mickey suggested. "We can spend the night there."

"I concur," Euterpe said. "I wanted to press on to Erion tonight, but my strength seems to be rapidly leaving me. Resting for a night in the shelter of the Cornerstone of Light sounds pleasant." She turned to her sisters. "Are we in agreement?" They nodded, each face grim. "Then let us go."

Mickey led the procession to the castle. They re-entered the guest room in which Urania rested.

Urania sat up as they approached. She didn't waste any time. "Where is Melpomene?"

"Melpomene is dead," Euterpe replied.

"You liar!" Urania snapped. "You're just playing a joke on me. Not amused, by the way." She pushed aside the quilt she was under. "She's hiding in the hallway, or in a linen closet."

"No," Erato said. "We're telling you the truth."

Urania laughed. It sounded deranged. Her sisters inched away.

Urania wiped tears from her eyes. "OK, joke is over."

Polyhymnia held up the hyacinth. "Look! This is all that remains of her."

Urania looked at the flower. Her mouth gaped open, and her cheeks flushed red. "I…"

"She was impaled by the Lance of Longinus," Terpsichore said. "We did all we could…"

"This may sound like a dumb question," Urania began. "But humor me. Did her blood touch the ground?"

"Yes," Riku said. "It was everywhere, like the set of a McDonagh play."

Urania slumped. "So it has begun."

"What has begun?" Sora asked.

"Melpomene's blood is a harbinger of things to come," Urania said. The veins stood out in her neck. "She was the lamb, the slaughter that sets into motion events that we are powerless to stop. Oblivion will consume us all."

"Don't say that," Sora said, visibly nervous.

Urania glared at him. "You stupid boy! Why do you cover your eyes and pretend not to see what is happening? We are doomed, all eight of us. We are destined to be sacrificed upon the altar of madness." She grabbed a handful of hair and pulled hard enough that the sound of tearing echoed through the room.

Sora stared at the handful of Urania's hair that she gripped in her right hand. Blood drops fell from the end. "I...Urania…" He couldn't say anything else.

Euterpe slapped Urania hard across the face. "Silence! Stop it, now! You are emotionally distressed. The eight of us will survive. For Melpomene's sake, for our mother's, for the worlds', and for our own."

Urania rubbed her cheek and glared at Euterpe.

"If you would do us a favor," Euterpe said. "Your Majesty, Donald, Goofy, Riku, and Sora?"

"Yes?" Mickey asked.

"To leave us alone for a few hours," Euterpe said. "My sisters and I wish to mourn Melpomene without anyone watching."

Mickey nodded. "Very well. We will be in the meeting room on the second floor if you need us." He walked toward the door, the others following. The door slammed shut after them.

Mickey glanced at the shut door, then down at his white gloves. "I suppose I deserve their coldness. If I hadn't tried to coax Snoops into surrendering, she wouldn't have been…"

"About that," Donald said. "Were you really offering yourself as a hostage?"

"Yes," Mickey said.

"But Calamity can't hold you," Riku commented. "A Keyblade can open any lock, and you easily have the power to knock down walls."

"Yup," Mickey agreed. "But I was hoping Snoops wouldn't think of that."

"For what it's worth, he didn't," Donald said unhelpfully.

XXX

Meanwhile, at Castle Oblivion, Snoops trudged down the hall to Calamity's throne room. The doors were wide open. Snoops peeked inside.

Calamity was sitting on her throne, looking rather placid. She smiled gently at Snoops. "Mr. Snoops! Please come in!"

Snoops gulped, and then walked numbly into the throne room. "My lady, I...they..."

"I know what happened," Calamity interrupted. "I got bored, so I watched you on the viewing ball."

"It was that mouse king's fault! He talked fancy to me! I got confused!"

"Mr. Snoops, why are you sweating like Nixon?" Calamity asked.

Snoops looked down at himself. His jacket and shirt were soaked in sweat.

Calamity continued without waiting for an answer. "It was an accident. Your hand slipped. I won't get angry at you for something that wasn't your fault."

"But the girl died!"

"Yes, Melpomene's death is a slight complication. However, nothing we can't remedy. And once I get ahold of Polyhymnia's body, I'll be able to devour both her essence and Melpomene's. A delightful two for one special. That'll be worth waiting for."

"So you're not mad?" Snoops asked.

"Of course not," Calamity said. "Why don't you take the rest of your shift off? Take a shower. Get a soda. I'll even compensate you for the free time. Full pay."

"You mean that?" Snoops asked.

"Of course. Come in tomorrow at the usual time. There's still work to be done."

"Yes, ma'am." Snoops prepared to leave.

"Mr. Snoops?" Calamity began. "May I pose a question?"

"Sure, my lady."

"I'm not so bad, right? It seems a lot of people think I'm a bitch. Or the devil. They want to kill me for no reason other than existing. My sister's daughters even asked the warriors of the Keyblade to destroy me. Why? Snoops, do you think..." Calamity stopped short. "Nothing. Forget I said anything. Just go. Enjoy your few hours off."

Snoops nodded, saluted, and left.

Elsewhere in the castle, Loki and Hades were relaxing in one of the many lounges.

"Loki, can I ask you something?" Hades asked. He was sitting on a white marble throne. Loki was standing in front of him, busily playing _Guitar Hero_.

"What is it?" Loki was playing "Free Bird."

"Why did you try to begin Ragnarok? It sucks for you. You die. All the gods die, except Baldur, cause it's hard to kill someone who is already dead."

Loki sighed. "Well, I didn't read that far ahead."

"What?" Hades asked.

"Yeah, I got to Fenrir swallowing the sun, then got bored and moved on. What? The _Prose Edda _is so boring!"

"So you just assumed that when Fenrir swallowed the sun, you'd take over and then rule the world?" Hades asked, his voice belying his disbelief.

"Yep. It…didn't work out. Then I asked my daughter to read the rest for me while I was imprisoned. And she told me the rest. What did I ever do to Heimdall? Prick." Loki froze his guitar controller solid, and then blasted it into pieces with an explosion spell. Shards of ice and plastic littered the floor.

"I can see this is a sore subject," Hades said.

"About as sore for you as your single status on Friendbook?" Loki said.

"That was low," Hades snapped. "You just don't appreciate what you have."

"What do I have?" Loki replied, switching off the game console.

"A beautiful wife?"

"Siguna? She's like a high school cheerleader. Pretty, but empty headed, worthless, and drains your bank account." Loki sat down in another marble throne with a sigh.

"At least you have a wife," Hades said sourly. "I flirted with Persephone last week. She threw her drink in my face. It put my hair out."

"Um, since when is trying to look up her chiton 'flirting'?" Loki asked.

"Well, it's better than kidnapping her, right?" Hades asked. "That myth's such slander. I never did that!"

XXX

Maia and Gordon entered the Velvet Room. It was empty, save for Auron and Kairi, who were sitting on one of the blue couches.

"What were you doing?" Auron asked.

"What do you think they were doing?" Kairi said. "It's okay. They're married."

Auron looked at her, and then blushed. "Never mind. I don't want to hear the details." He got up and went into his room.

"Why do you assume that just because we were alone together, we had sex?" Gordon asked.

"Because you're a man," Kairi said.

"Oh, Auron gave you that spiel about how all men are pigs?" Gordon asked.

"No," Kairi replied. "And he was mincing words. All men are wolves."

"Gordon, could you tuck me into bed?" Maia asked sweetly.

"Of course, my dear," Gordon said quickly, forgetting to reply to Kairi's snark. He took Maia's hand and they walked toward their shared room.

"I wonder what Sora will say to a baby sibling nine months from now," Kairi said to Naminé.

**Don't you trust Sora**? Naminé asked in Kairi's head.

_Of course I trust Sora, _Kairi thought. _I trust Sora to behave like a man! All men think with their hormones, and I'm not going to pretend Sora is an exception. And unless you want to be disappointed with Roxas, you should acknowledge that he looks at other girls. _

**Just Jessie. And Olette. And he kind of stares at your butt. I can also sense he looks at the girls at school. Especially Relm. **

_See? All men act like that. _

**One didn't. **

_And who was that? _

**Marluxia was mean to me, but he didn't try to peek at me in the shower or while I was changing. Though I did catch him peeking at Demyx a few times. **

_To be fair, Demyx kind of looked like a girl. And Sora told me he squealed like one. _

**Oh, he totally did! I heard him when those Heartless rats invaded the castle! Sound carried well there. **

XXX

"I've been thinking," Riku said. He, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy were in the conference room of Disney Castle.

"About what?" Mickey asked.

Riku continued. "If we kill Calamity. What will happen once we do that?"

"The worlds will be fine," Mickey said. "As long as we don't destroy the physical bodies of both Mnemosyne and Calamity. One of the twins is necessary to bear the weight of the..."

"Not that," Riku interrupted. "I mean, _us. _Xemnas wanted to become a god, but he was only halfway there. Calamity is already an actual fabric of the universe god. What's going to happen if we succeed? I'm kind of afraid to learn if I'm strong enough to kill a god. Aren't you guys?"

Sora shrugged. "I hadn't really thought about it."

**Big surprise, **Roxas said. **I am, like, going to have a heart attack and die from unsurprise. **

"And is this right?" Riku said. "Are we doing the right thing?"

"Well, if we don't, Calamity is just going to hurt more people," Goofy said.

"That's true," Riku said. "I just hope we're not going to be punished for this. I already had to go on one redemption quest. I'm not going on another!"

XXX

_Maia dreamed she was in a dark room. Pitch black. _

"_Mother," a familiar voice called. _

"_Sora?" Maia asked. "Where are you?" _

"_You are kind," Sora continued. _

"_Sora?" Maia looked around for any source of light or the source of Sora's voice. _

"_Mother, you are sweet," Sora's voice said, toneless and flat. _

"_Sora, where are you?" Maia asked. "Or is this just a recording?" _

"_Mother, you are loving," Sora's voice said, and this time Maia could feel breath on her neck. "Mother, I will not forgive you." A stabbing pain shot through Maia's back. _

Maia let out a cry that jolted her from sleep.

"Dear?" Gordon asked.

Maia turned on her side to face him. "You're still awake?"

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep," Gordon said.

"I had a nightmare," Maia said. "How about we leave this wretched place and never come back? This astral world creates dreams too vivid and unpleasant for my taste." She picked up the Jack Frost doll on the nightstand. "How about we leave immediately?"

XXX

In the conference room, Sora, Riku, Mickey, Donald, and Goofy were playing poker. Goofy was wearing no shirt, Sora had only lost his jacket and crown necklace, Mickey was still fully clothed, Riku was only in his boxers, and Donald was secretly grateful that his new clothes included more detachable parts than his usual sailor suit: hat, golden cuffs, capelet, and tunic – half of which were now off him.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in," Mickey said.

Erato opened the door. She giggled at the strip poker game in progress. "Does the Queen know that you're doing this? I mean, gambling _is_ illegal in the Disney Kingdom,"

"You think I don't know that?" hissed Mickey. "And it was her idea, not mine. I said a casino could bring in revenue, and she said 'Not if it's run by that Fat Cat guy...'"

Erato folded her arms. "If the Queen asks, I didn't see anything."

Mickey shrugged. "All right. Did you need something?"

"My sisters and I are done," Erato said. "We'd like to retire for the night. You don't intend to stick us all in one room, right? Because if you are, I'm getting the bed."

"Of course not," Mickey said. "There are plenty of rooms to go around."

"And Polyhymnia wanted to know if you have an alchemy lab in the Castle," Erato said. "She wanted to prepare some Coolers."

"Alchemy lab?" Donald laughed. "This castle has everything: alchemy lab, chem lab, tennis courts, bowling alley, conservatory, ballroom, library, study..."

"Billiards Room!" Goofy boasted.

"No, Goofy, that's only in Boddy's Mansion in Clue," Donald stopped, then hissed to Mickey. "Make a note of that."

Mickey ignored him and got up. "I'll go set up some of the guest rooms and show Poly to the lab."

"Um, Erato?" Riku asked. "Could I ask you something? In private?"

Erato cocked her head. "You can do more with me in private. Come on."

"Can I put my clothes back on?" Riku asked.

"What's the fun in that?" Erato asked. "OK, if you want. Fair, since you saw me..."

Riku blushed, then he pulled his pants, shoes, vest, and top back on. He then followed Erato into the hall, past some walking broom servants, and onto one of the castle balconies. "Um, why in the dark?" Night had fallen on Disney Castle.

"It's so much better this way, don't you think?" Erato asked. "What did you want to ask me about?"

Riku scratched his head. "Well, when we got separated, I heard something weird. I met a prince."

"Okay? And?"

"He said you turned him into a monster. That wasn't true, right? It was some other Erato..."

Erato burst out laughing. "No, silly, that is true!"

"WHAT?" Riku cried.

"Yep. That whole curse. That he'd be a monster forever unless he found love before a magic rose wilted? Oh, Prince Adam." Erato sighed, as if remembering a vivid and happy memory.

"Why?" Riku squeaked out.

"Because he was an ass," Erato said. "He had no friends or neighbors, because no one wanted to be near him. He abused his servants all the time. He'd dock their pay for no reason, he revoked their benefits, all vacation time was unpaid. The servants' families had served Adam's family for generations, and there were no labor unions, so there was nothing any of them could do about it. So I had to teach him a lesson?"

"And that lesson was to curse him?" Riku asked.

"I knew he'd break it," Erato replied. "And he's boning a Princess of Heart. I'd say he got a good end of the deal. I only regret catching the servants in the spell, but it had to be done."

"Why?"

"Because if they remained human, Adam would resent them. And he'd take his rage out on them and fire them. Then they'd have to find new jobs, which wouldn't be easy. The kingdom was in a bad recession and the job market was absolutely dismal. Point is, men need a kick in the pants sometimes to wake up. Don't criticize, Riku, because you were a prick for a while yourself."

Riku began to sweat. "I just remembered. I think I left my Keyblade in the other room..."

"Can't you summon it from anywhere?" Erato asked.

"No need, I'll get it," Riku said quickly, opening the door and running back to the conference room, leaving behind a confused Erato.

Donald and Goofy were left in the conference room. (Sora had gone to use the facilities.)

"Goofy?" Donald asked.

"Yes, Donald?" Goofy replied.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Donald asked.

"I think so, Donald, but wouldn't _Birth By Sleep _have run too long if there had been a chapter on King Mickey?"

Donald groaned.

XXX

In Castle Oblivion's dungeon, Thalia was currently perturbed. She touched her side. It still felt tender. She didn't know what that meant, but she knew it wasn't good.

"How many days have I been stuck in here?" Thalia pondered aloud. She strained against her chains, which she had been doing since being thrown in the dungeon. "It stinks in here! It's all moldy and gross! And my hair is probably all greasy." She strained harder. "And my nail polish needs to be reapplied daily. How many days has it been? I can't even keep track of the time! There's no sun in here! Calamity, you suck so much!" And with that, there was a clang.

Thalia peeked behind her. The metal plate to which her chains had been fastened had come off the wall. "Whoever said 'A chain's only as strong as its weakest link' lied! It's only as strong as what's holding it!" She began to run her fingers over the chains. "Except none of these are particularly weak and I can't break them. Ugh, why am I talking to myself? I have to get out of here." She looked around. There was a large air vent. "Do I really have to go in there? It probably hasn't been cleaned in years. And it's so clichéd at this point..." She wrinkled her nose and pried off the plate. "It was cliché back when Cloud did it!"

To Be Continued


	24. Distortions in the Void of Despair

Sora yawned as he finished getting dressed in his usual shirt, pants, and jacket. It was morning at Disney Castle. He picked up the blue pajamas he had borrowed from Mickey, folded them, and placed them back on his guest bed.

Riku was in another bed in the same room, snoring loudly.

**Let's dip Riku's hand in warm water! **Roxas suggested.

"No," Sora said. "And that's totally an urban myth."

**Blast an airhorn in his ear? **

"Where would we even get such a thing?" Sora asked. "And the answer's no."

**Fart in his face? Come on, you were too tired last night. I couldn't borrow your body when you fell asleep! There was no energy left! **

Sora sighed. "Thank heavens for small miracles."

**Oh, Sora, by the way...**

"No, I'm not going to try to peek at the girls while they're changing."

**I wasn't going to suggest that. I was going to say that you know Disney Castle is protected by the Cornerstone of Light.**

Sora blinked. "What does that have to do with anything?"

**I'm getting there. No darkness can get in, and you still checked under your bed for monsters before you went to sleep! **

Sora was about to reply, or give himself a smack to the forehead when Riku stirred and yawned.

**Aww, it's too late to punk him. **

Riku pushed back his covers. He was still wearing his day clothes.

"King Mickey offered you some jammies," Sora said.

"The prints he offered were childish," Riku said as he ran his hands over his clothes to smooth them out.

"I liked them," Sora gestured to the pajamas on his bed. They were light blue with a print of white clouds.

Riku shrugged. "Well, Sora, nobody ever said you had the greatest fashion sense."

"Hey!" Sora cried. "The fairies who made these clothes said I looked dashing!"

"They were lying to be polite," Riku replied.

Sora was about to retort when he heard a knock on the door.

"Sora? Riku?" Mickey's voice called from the other end. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah, we're up," Riku responded.

"Everyone else is in the dining hall. We're waiting on you."

Sora opened the door. "Don't start without us."

Mickey handed Sora and Riku each a vial of blue liquid. "This is cooling medicine. We're going to the Fire Kingdom in Erion after we eat. It gets really hot there, so drink this medicine when you start to feel uncomfortable and it will stave off hyperthermia. Poly got up early to mix it, so be sure to thank her."

Sora and Riku nodded, put the medicine in their sizable pockets, and followed Mickey to the dining hall.

**Whoa. This takes me back. **Roxas commented on the interior of the dining hall. There was a long table taking up most of the room. One chair was positioned on each end, with eight chairs along each of the sides. The walls were beautiful brown teak, and decorated with gilt-framed portraits of mice that looked an awful lot like Mickey.

Mickey sat down at one of the end positions. Minnie sat to his direct right, while Daisy sat next to Minnie. Donald was next to Daisy, then an empty seat, Goofy, and two Disney subjects Sora didn't quite recognize. The one next to Goofy was a humanoid cow. She wore chain mail over a long green dress and a silver cowbell around her neck. The other was a male horse. The horse wore a silk white robe over a strangely plain outfit of a red shirt and blue coveralls. Sora shrugged and took the empty seat between Donald and Goofy.

There was a second empty seat next to Mickey, in which Riku took his seat. Erato was on Riku's other side, followed by Polyhymnia, Clio, Euterpe, Urania, and Terpsichore. The remaining three seats were devoid of place settings.

Mickey smiled. "My subjects and honored guests, feel free to have as much as you like. There is no need to hold back."

"Yeah, it's not your tax dollars," the horse remarked dryly. Sora looked shocked, but Donald, Daisy, the cow, Minnie, and Goofy laughed. Mickey chuckled politely.

The strange walking broom servants filed in, carrying plates of pancakes, biscuits, and fruit as well as pitchers of water, coffee, and juice.

The guests and residents chatted amongst themselves as they began to eat.

"Did you sleep okay, Riku?" Erato asked.

"Um, yeah," Riku said. "Did you?"

"No," Erato said. "I got awfully cold."

Mickey interrupted. "Gee, why didn't you let me know? I could have raised the thermostat or given you another blanket."

"I didn't want to be a bother, Your Majesty," Erato said. "To you, or to Riku."

"Why would it bother me?" Riku asked.

"It wouldn't be fair of me to ask you to share my bed so you could keep me warm now, would it?" Erato asked, looking at Riku.

Riku almost spit out the orange juice he was drinking. "What?" He looked at Mickey, who gave him a wink.

At the same time, the cow turned toward Sora. "I suppose it's been a while."

"A while?" Sora asked. "Have we...met?"

"I guess you could say we did, a really long time ago," said the cow. "You look a lot better now. Less of an anatomical impossibility."

"Wha-?" Sora cried.

Donald looked at Sora. "She means she remembers you from Timeless River. You met her past self."

"I did?" Sora asked.

"Yup," Goofy added. "Though she didn't look the same as she does now, either. You have to admit, Sora, your looks in Timeless River were a bit...strange. Your legs and arms were like noodles. I wondered why you didn't fall over the entire time."

"And she remembers me?" Sora asked. "After all this time?"

"Well, you're a pretty memorable person," Goofy said. "Right, Clarabelle?"

"I'd say so. He's gonna be handsome someday," Clarabelle added. "So don't let him get hurt and scar that pretty face, Goofy. And take care of yourself out there."

"I will," Goofy said.

"Yeah, don't worry us," Donald added from Sora's other side. "Or get a concussion."

Daisy looked annoyed at Donald. "And while we're going over things you shouldn't repeat from the last mission, how about you check in once in a while?"

Donald looked back at her. "Daisy, I told you a hundred times! We were asleep for a year!"

"Which I still say is stupid," Daisy retorted. "How could you sleep for an entire year without waking up? Either you were actually in a coma or you're lying!"

"I'm not lying!" Donald flailed his arms. "Daisy, quit proving Judith Martin right!"

Daisy dropped her spoon. Her hand flew to her beak. She began to quiver, and her eyes filled with tears. She got up from the table and ran out the door.

"That was cruel, Donald," Minnie said.

Donald snorted. "She started it."

"Who's Judith Martin?" Sora asked.

"Oh, she said Daisy was a 'quarrelsome nag whose idea of heaven is the purchase of a new flowered hat.'" Donald shrugged.

"That's kind of mean," Sora said.

Donald snickered. "You do know what people say about you, right?"

Goofy turned back to Clarabelle. "Clarabelle, next time I come, I've got something important to ask you. Will you let me ask that?"

The horse dropped his coffee mug. It landed on the hardwood floor and spilled brown coffee. "Whoops. How clumsy of me."

"Are you okay, Horace?" Clarabelle asked. "You seem tense."

"I'm fine," Horace said quickly. He took out his napkin and wiped his forehead.

"The catering is excellent here," Urania said. "But I will feel a lot better once I leave this place. There's something forboding in all this brightness. At least in Erion the darkness is overt. You know it's there."

"There's no darkness here," Euterpe said. "And you're not coming to Erion."

"Why not?" Urania asked.

"Do you have to ask?" Euterpe asked. "Your little tantrum last night. I forbid you to accompany us further."

"Euterpe, no!" Urania cried, loudly. Everyone stopped their side-bar conversations to look at her. Urania looked at their confused faces. "Euterpe says I can't journey with you anymore!"

"You will be a liability," Euterpe said.

"But you need a black mage!" Urania protested.

"Donald can cast black magic," Euterpe said evenly. "And he can cast white magic as well, making him a more versatile mage than you."

"But I know some spells Donald doesn't know!" Urania whined.

"Stop this now," Euterpe said. "You're making a scene."

"Your Majesty," Urania said. "You want me on the team. Please say you want me to come!"

Mickey looked uncomfortable. "Well, I just want you to feel better. I don't want you to be fighting when you're..."

"What?" Urania asked. "I'm what?"

Mickey didn't answer.

"I cannot believe this," Urania stood up from her chair and went around the table. She kneeled at Sora's feet. "Sora Pleiades, you said you'd protect me. You're sincere, so tell them I'm coming!"

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Sora said, recalling Urania's expressions from the night before and how the blood dripped from the strands of hair she had torn out. "I think it'd be safer for you here, with Minnie."

Urania let out a choked sob. "Please, Sora. If I stay here, I'll die. Don't let me _die_!"

"Minnie can protect you just as well as me," Sora said. "I remember when Minnie needed to go to the throne room. I thought I'd have to escort her past the Heartless. She ended up escorting me." Minnie blushed slightly.

Urania sighed. She took Melpomene's hyacinth from her buttonhole. "I guess I'll return to the guest quarters. And Melpomene will stay with me. She's the only sister of mine present who isn't abandoning me." She turned on her heel and left the dining hall."

Nobody knew what to say. The rest of the meal passed in awkward silence.

"You'll hurry back, won't you?" Minnie finally broke the silence as the brooms took away the empty plates.

"Of course," Mickey said. "Don't discount yourself, Minnie. You're perfectly capable of handling the kingdom while I'm gone."

"I'll say," Horace joked. "The kingdom actually runs smoother..." Clarabelle kicked him under the table.

"We should be off," Mickey said. "Let's go to the Gummi Ship hangar."

XXX

Maia opened the Velvet Room's door and motioned for Gordon, Kairi, and Auron to follow. The four of them entered a verdant garden full of flowers.

"This is the Garden of Gods," Maia said.

"You better have a damn good explanation for this, Maia," Kairi said, hands on her hips. "You didn't even let me change!" She was wearing a long white nightgown that looked like a longer version of Namine's usual dress.

"I need your help on something," Maia said. "And besides, that nightgown covers more of your body than your day outfits."

"That's Nomura's fault, not mine," Kairi whined. "And my original outfit was even worse. I was so self-conscious. Not to mention chilly. The rest of you are so lucky! Nomura didn't design your clothes."

"Actually, my clothes are his work," Auron said.

"Seriously?" Kairi asked. "You're the sexiest character in Final Fantasy and he covers you up?"

"Can we get back to the topic at hand?" Auron asked. "The readers can only take so much of us breaking the fourth wall."

"Fine," Kairi said. "Maia, why did you drag us out of bed?"

"Because I have another seal in my body," Maia said. "I don't know what it is, but I assume Mother put it there when she put my soul into this mortal form. I need your Keyblade."

Kairi took out her Keyblade. "Okey-dokey."

XXX

Meanwhile, Mickey, Sora, Riku, as well as Euterpe, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Erato, and Clio arrived in the Vulcanon Lava Pit of Erion.

"Sure the Gummi Ship won't melt in this heat?" Terpsichore asked.

"The lab techs at Disney Castle have come a long way in protecting Gummi blocks from heat, cold, pressure, so it should be fine." Mickey commented. He turned to Clio. "Lead the way, Miss Clio."

Clio nodded. She led the party to the castle of the Fire Kingdom's reigning monarch, King Onyx.

A white haired woman with dark skin and glowing eyes was at the reception desk. "Welcome to the humble abode of the Inferno King." She sounded bored and disinterested. "What can I do for you today?"

"Pele, my party would like an audience with King Onyx," Clio said.

Pele glanced at the party. "Very well. I'll tell him five Daughters of Mnemosyne, two little boys, and some weird animal-things are here to see him." She rose, bowed, and left.

"Let me do the talking," Clio said.

"Excuse me?" Euterpe asked. "I'm the second-born. When Calliope is not present, I'm acting leader."

"But your persuasion skills lean toward...well..." Clio thought a moment.

"They work...most of the time," Euterpe said. "I'm fine with you negotiating with that creep. Means I don't have to talk to him."

"Then why did you object?" Clio asked.

"I didn't object to you handling the negotiations. I objected to you ordering me to do something," Euterpe said. "There's a difference."

"Man, Calliope gets kidnapped and you milk it for all it's worth," Clio said. "You're unbelievable."

Pele returned from down the hall. "My master will see you now." The party followed her down to a set of double doors, passed through them, into a large room. A throne of polished black stone was in the middle of the room, but another door was visible behind it.

A tall, well-built man sat placidly on the throne. He wore black pants and armored greaves. His chest was bare, showing off impressive musculature that made Sora and Riku feel envious. A golden crown kept his wild silver hair in place. Pele bowed to the man, then left.

Clio cleared her throat and kneeled. Her eyes remained fixed on the stone floor in front of her. "Your Majesty?"

"Stand, Lady Destiny," the man said. "You have no need to kneel before me like a supplicant."

"If you wish, King Onyx," Clio stood up. She looked rather uncomfortable, but continued. "I have a request to make of you. We require a small fragment of the primordial flame. It is necessary to prepare purified Phozon crystals for a ceremony...could you maybe put on a shirt?"

"My bare chest insults you?" Onyx asked incredulously.

"No. It's very nice. But it's so muscular, and shiny, and it would be rude of me to look away from you while I talk," Clio stammered.

"I live in an active volcano," Onyx said. "It gets hot. I'd take off my pants, but the censors wouldn't allow it. They said this story must keep a 'T' rating."

Clio blushed.

"The flame, Your Highness," Euterpe said.

Onyx leaned back in his throne. "This is the second time today I've been petitioned for part of the Sacred Flame."

"Second?" Clio asked. "If I may inquire, who else wanted it?"

"Two men," Onyx explained. "They gave their names, but they were unknown to me and I cannot remember them. They were very articulate and well-dressed."

"Did they explain what they needed it for?" Clio inquired.

"No, though the bespectacled one was carrying a large tome on alchemy," Onyx replied. "They left in a hurry, so I could not ask further questions."

"Do we have any idea who those two guys were?" Goofy whispered to the others.

"No idea," Mickey replied. "But we can't exactly write it off as coincidence."

Onyx continued. "I am willing to part with another piece of the flame, in exchange for something."

"And what would that be?" Clio asked.

"The hand of Princess Gwendolyn of Ragnanival," Onyx responded without missing a beat.

"You want us to cut off a girl's hand and give it to you?" Sora cried. "That's sick!"

"Hand in marriage, you blockhead," Riku said, giving Sora a smack upside the head.

Onyx ignored Sora and Riku. "Gwendolyn's father promised her to me, but he reneged. Worse, he married her off to some nameless sad sack. If you can make Gwendolyn my bride, I will give you as much of the sacred flame as you want."

"And if we can't?" Clio asked.

Onyx shrugged. "Then I'm afraid we will all be disappointed."

"I'll see what I can do," Clio replied. "Fare thee well, Inferno King." The party filed out of the throne room.

"Does this world have divorce laws, or do we have to bump off Miss Gwendolyn's husband?" Riku asked.

"Riku!" Sora snapped.

"Well, do you have any better ideas?" Riku asked. He thought a moment. "Oh! How about we just beat up that Onyx guy and steal an ember from the Sacred Flame?"

Terpsichore rolled her eyes. "Didn't your mama ever tell you not to play with fire? Onyx is the fire that no man can withstand. Brute force won't work."

"Then what?" Goofy asked.

"We have Keyblades," Riku said. "We could just walk into the Sanctuary."

"Yes, but the door is right behind Onyx's throne. We can't exactly run past him..." Polyhymnia said.

"You do not want to see his true form, that's all I'm saying," Terpsichore added.

"What if Gwendolyn actually did show up?" Erato asked.

"She wouldn't," Clio said. "She thinks Onyx is a sexist pig."

"Onyx _is _a sexist pig whether Gwendolyn says so or not," Euterpe remarked.

"You misunderstand," Erato said. "What if one of us changed her appearance to look like Gwendolyn? And then distracted Onyx while the others slip into the Sanctuary and grab a piece of the Flame? A Keyblade can open any lock, after all."

"Would the disguise fool Onyx?" Clio asked.

"It's better than asking Gwendolyn to comply with that idiotic request," Polyhymnia observed. "It's unfair of us to even ask her that question. Not with the worlds at stake. It's coercion. Which is what Onyx wants us to do."

Sora's eyes widened. "Really? He doesn't care if he's forcing a girl into marriage?"

"Of course not," Riku said. "A bunch of goddesses request this with three legendary heroes in tow, on the same day two suspicious guys also request it? He knows we desperately need the flame to do whatever it is we're trying to do..." He scratched his head. "What are we trying to do again?"

"Get a flame hot enough to purify the Phozon crystals, mix the crystals in a cauldron with the tears and blood of a god so we can perform the Soul Separation ceremony. Then we can pull Calamity out of Mnemosyne's body and kill her!" Donald snapped. "Is that so hard to comprehend?"

Riku looked blankly at Donald. "Why'd you spell it out like that?"

"Recap for the readers. They can't be expected to remember everything in this very long story," Donald explained.

"Oh," Riku said.

"It has to be one of the girls," Donald observed. "Not the ones who look like girls, namely Sora and Riku."

"HEY!" Sora and Riku snapped.

"Not my fault I have long hair," Riku mumbled.

"Not my fault I have long and thick eyelashes," Sora muttered.

"So do we draw straws?" Euterpe asked.

"Nah, I say Erato does it," Polyhymnia said with a smug look. "She's already good at acting like...well...a whore."

Erato looked at her. "Poly, what did you say?"

"That you already act like a whore, so we might as well put that ability to good use?" Polyhymnia asked.

"When do I act like a whore?" Erato snapped.

"Oh, when you prance around in those skimpy clothes. Or flirt with Riku. Pretty much how you've been acting since we met the Keyblade wielders."

"My clothes aren't that skimpy!" Erato snapped. "Have you seen what women wear nowadays?"

"You still dress provocatively!" Polyhymnia snapped.

"No, I…" Erato stopped short, then chuckled. "Oh ho! I know what this is about! You just don't want everyone to notice that you're the whore around here!"

Polyhymnia shook with rage. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Erato said. "You've spent quite a bit of time with a certain man. Like…six months."

"What are you implying?" Polyhymnia sputtered. "I never slept with Lodovico!"

"But you wanted to. He wasn't bad looking at all. In fact, he was pretty darn handsome."

"Why would I want to have intercourse with a man who tortured me? And kept me chained up?" Polyhymnia's face was now cherry red.

"Ooh, I knew you had masochistic leanings, but you're into bondage too?" Erato said in a singsong voice. "You are a little pervert!"

"I am not!" Polyhymnia wailed. "Having sex with Lodovico would be bestiality!"

"Which just made it all the more enticing, right?" Erato asked.

Polyhymnia punched Erato in the stomach. Erato gasped, then seized two handfuls of Polyhymnia's long hair and pulled.

"Stop it, both of you!" Euterpe ordered. "Apologize to each other this instant!" Both of them looked at her. "I am not going to tolerate you two resorting to fisticuffs!"

"But you fight with Calliope all the time," Clio said. "Aren't you being hypocritical?"

"See, I could slap Clio right now for undermining my authority," Euterpe said. "But I'm going to take the high road and ignore her. Because if we fight, it would be too easy for Calamity to drive a wedge between us. So kiss and make up."

"I'm sorry, Erato," Polyhymnia said, giving Erato a peck on the cheek.

"So am I," Erato replied, giving Polyhymnia a kiss on her cheek.

Euterpe looked annoyed. "I didn't say to literally kiss!" Erato and Polyhymnia smirked at her. Euterpe looked at the sky. "Oh, Kingdom Hearts! My sisters are a bunch of kindergarteners!"

**Ooh, make them kiss again! **Roxas said to Sora.

_Don't be gross, Roxas, _Sora thought back. _They're sisters! _

**Well, it'd be icky if they were doing more than kissing. See, that's tame enough to be hot without worrying about that little incest taboo. Come on. You never watch anything that's above a PG-rating. **

"Because I'm not allowed to!" Sora cried out. Everyone looked at him. "Um, I was just talking to Roxas. Uh….where were we?"

"How should we decide who's going to distract Onyx?" Euterpe asked.

"I'll do it," Terpsichore said. Her body began an odd transformation. She reached up and pulled her hair out of its chignon to let it fall in waves around her shoulders. Her red-brown hair lightened to blonde, then platinum blonde, and finally silver. She closed her brown eyes and then opened them to reveal they had become a deep violet. Finally, her peach skin lightened until she was the color of a porcelain doll. Terpsichore's clothes, too, transmuted, with her pink ballet skirt darkening to black and lengthening until it reached the floor and her pink bodice turning white.

"**Whoa. I can see why Onyx is so obsessed with this girl," **Roxas said. **"She's hot." **Terpsichore glared at him.** "Not that you aren't hot too." **

"Hot?" Terpsichore said, voice strained. "You think my true form is hot?"

"**Of course." **

"Roxas Pleiades, you are a liar and an ass!" Terpsichore said. "You've never even seen my true form, so how can you judge whether or not it is 'hot'?" Without waiting for a reply, Terpsichore turned to Erato. "Erato, if I may...?"

"May what?" Erato asked.

"I'd like to use a little perfume," Terpsichore said. "Just to make absolutely certain Onyx falls for this."

"What makes you think I have any?" Erato asked.

"Don't play dumb with me," Terpsichore said. "You've been wearing it since we left home. Since it would have worn off by now, you must still have a bottle on you. Why do you even need it to attract men?"

"Attract men?" Riku repeated. _Uh oh. _

"Yes," Erato said, pulling out a small atomizer of perfume from her pocket. "Men who smell this perfume feel attracted to the wearer." She squirted some on Terpsichore's wrist. "Happy?"

"Quite," Terpsichore replied. "Now let's go see a king about an eternal flame."

XXX

"Did something happen?" Kairi asked.

"No," Maia said. "Try it again."

Kairi looked annoyed. "I've tried ten times already!"

"You're right, the seal should have broken," Maia said, sitting down on one of the benches. She dug in her apron pocket and pulled out what looked like a gold foil covered trading card. Maia crushed it in her palm and dropped the pieces on the ground.

The pieces landed on the ground, glowed, and flew up into the air, combining themselves to form a golden butterfly. There was a flash of light, and the butterfly was replaced by Philemon, who was wearing a black bathrobe, black terrycloth slippers, and his butterfly mask. His hair was wet and loose, and dripped water onto the shoulders of his robe.

"Do you mind?" Philemon asked, sounding slightly perturbed.

XXX

At the same time, Clio and Terpsichore were entering Onyx's throne room. Sora, Mickey, Riku, Donald, Goofy, Erato, Euterpe, and Polyhymnia waited just outside.

Erato peeked between the crack in the double doors. "When Clio gives us the signal, the Keybearers sneak in past Onyx, unlock the door to the Sanctuary of the Sacred Flame, and take an ember."

"Aww, phooey," Donald whined. "Nothing Goofy and I can help with. Goofy, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I think so, Donald," Goofy said. "But wasn't the cake not a lie after all?"

"What?" Donald asked. "I meant that a certain someone doesn't like us very much."

"Don't start with that again," Mickey said.

Inside the throne room, Onyx smiled at Terpsichore. "Gwendolyn, my dear. Come to me."

"Wait," Terpsichore said. "I…"

Onyx's smile faded. "Gwendolyn? What happened to that grim determination?"

"Might I do an exotic dance for you?" Terpsichore interrupted.

Onyx arched an eyebrow. "You're not yourself, Gwendolyn. I guess they did have to cast a spell on you to get you to come here. I just hope it doesn't break too soon. One can only compel someone to act against their nature for so long. But I might as well enjoy this while it lasts. Dance away."

Terpsichore began to dance, doing complex spins and leaps to rival any ballet company's prima donna.

Onyx yawned. "Why am I so sleepy all of a sudden? I'm not supposed to fall asleep until after we have sex." He yawned again. A few minutes later, he was snoring loudly on his throne.

Terpsichore stopped dancing and wiped her brow. "Whew."

Clio turned toward the door and waved.

Sora, Mickey, and Riku pushed one of the doors open and tiptoed through the throne room as fast as they could.

"Can't we hit him on the head so he doesn't wake up?" Riku whispered.

"No, we're being honorable," Sora replied.

"Actually, are we?" Mickey said. "We did kind of trick him and use a status ailment spell."

"Well, we could have used 'stop,'" Riku commented. "Or 'break.'"

"Say, he's a boss-type character," Sora said. "Why isn't he immune to status ailments, then?"

_Because he sucks, _Roxas commented from Sora's head. _We should have just blasted his ass with ice spells. _

"Roxas, stop suggesting things that will destroy this world!" Sora scolded.

Mickey reached the door, took out his Keyblade, and unlocked it. "Hurry."

Sora took out a wooden baseball bat, held it toward the Sacred Flame, then hesitated. "Won't this torch burn out in a few minutes?"

"No, doofus," Riku said. "The flame wouldn't be eternal if it actually consumed anything!"

Sora dipped the bat in the flame and pulled it out. A flame was now on the tip, but as Riku had explained, the wood itself wasn't burning. "That is so cool. I bet Onyx is popular at parties."

"Yeah, maybe, but we're still in his castle and we're committing ultra-grand theft, so can we please cheese it?" Riku said.

"Oh, right," Sora said. He, Mickey, and Riku slipped out of the chamber of the Sacred Flame and back into the throne room.

"Oh, yes, I've been a naughty boy…" Onyx mumbled in his sleep as the three Keybearers passed him. "I was playing with matches."

Clio and Terpsichore held open the doors to the throne room as Sora, Riku, and Mickey slipped out, then followed them and closed the doors quietly. The whole party then ran out of Onyx's castle, bypassing Pele at the reception desk. Pele was reading a shoujo manga, and didn't appear to notice them. If she did, she didn't care.

Riku pointed ahead toward three female figures. "I don't think those three are residents of this world."

"Whatever gave you that impression?" Terpsichore asked dryly. She hadn't even changed out of her Gwendolyn disguise.

The three women were of unequal heights. All three had on at least one black article of clothing.

The tallest woman was full-figured. Her face was framed by long dark blue hair. She was the woman who appeared in Auron's nightmare, though Sora and his party had no way of knowing that. She wore a black tuxedo tailored specifically for her body.

The shortest had bright green hair in two pigtails. Unlike the other women, who were clearly adults, she resembled a young girl. (Readers have seen her briefly, too, at the conclusion of Gordon's dream.) Her clothes consisted of a frilly pink blouse, a black skirt, knee-high striped socks, and shiny black patent leather Mary Janes. A pair of small leathery bat-like wings stuck out from her back.

The last woman had long purple hair fluffed out in what looked like the mane of a 1980's punk rocker. She was almost impossibly thin. She had on a black leather top, a lavender skirt so short it could almost qualify as a belt, fishnet stockings, and high heels.

Goofy narrowed his eyes at them. "Halt! Who goes there! Friend or foe?"

The purple haired woman spoke first. "We are not here to fight. I didn't spend six hours on my hair and makeup to get it ruined."

"Hello, Tisiphone," Euterpe said. "Did Calamity send you?"

"Her name is Oblivia," the blue haired woman said. "Show more respect to your betters."

"You would lecture me on manners, Alecto?" Euterpe snapped. "Calamity's last flunky killed one of my sisters."

"For what it's worth," Alecto said. "Oblivia sends her condolences."

"I don't know why," said the green-haired girl. "It's not like anyone actually cares about Melpomene."

"Hush, Megaera," Tisiphone said. Megaera shrugged and fiddled with one of her pigtails.

Tisiphone continued. "Keybearers, Oblivia's offer of negotiation still stands, in spite of last night's events."

Riku snorted. "Yeah, like we ever were going to give her the Dainslef."

"This is the most obvious trap you could come up with," added Clio. "Calamity has kidnapped three of our sisters, one of whom is now dead. She's been nothing but hostile to any of us. And you expect us to believe she wants peace?"

"She's been hostile because you've all been so mean to her," Megaera retorted.

"We don't require or expect you to come up with an answer right this second," Alecto said. "But if you Keybearers truly want what is best for the worlds, you'd at least give Oblivia a chance to speak."

"Sora, you should consider this," Tisiphone began. "Oblivia is your great-aunt. Surely you wouldn't just strike down a member of your family?"

"Don't call me Shirley!" Sora replied. His expression darkened. "What do you mean, member of my family?"

"Looks like we spilled a few beans," Megaera said in a singsong voice.

"Oh, Daughters of Mnemosyne," Alecto said mockingly. "When were you going to inform Sora that he is your nephew?"

Terpsichore gave them a little smirk. "Why would we inform him of something that only is true in your deluded imaginations?"

"Whatev," Megaera said dismissively.

Alecto nodded. "I can see we are not wanted here, so we shall go. A fair warning, Oblivia will be disappointed that you won't even talk with her."

"If you apologize, she might not get mad," Tisiphone said cheerfully. "Maybe, or maybe not." A puff of smoke surrounded the three of them. Once the smoke dissipated, they were gone.

"It's a lie!" Sora blurted out. He clenched one fist, his nails digging into his palm. "My parents are Gordon Liori Pleiades and Maia Atlus Pleiades. How dare they infer that they were anyone else!"

"Um, they implied," Clio corrected.

"Huh?" Sora asked. "I'm kind of failing composition. And algebra. And biology."

"Is it possible that they were telling the truth?" Mickey asked. "Ladies, could Sora be the product of his human mother and your brother?"

The sisters stared blankly at Mickey, then roared with laughter.

"Philemon?" Clio asked. "Possible, but not likely."

"Philemon is an expert on many topics," Terpsichore added. "But sex is not one of them."

"He's Jungian, not Freudian, after all," Polyhymnia said with a slight giggle.

"I agree," Riku said. "It was just bullshit. Sora looks so much like Gordon that you don't need a paternity test."

"Their master does routinely tell them, 'When you tell a lie, don't tell a little one. Tell a big one'," Clio mused.

"Master?" Goofy asked.

"Those three are Nyarlathotep's lackies," Erato explained. "They travel both the astral and material worlds, causing mischief. Petty stuff, though."

"So we shouldn't worry about them," Riku said. "Great. Where to next?"

"Endelphia," Clio said. "A grim Netherworld where vicious spirits torment the ghosts unlucky enough to be trapped there."

"G-g-g-ghosts?" Goofy cried.

Donald looked at Goofy, bemused. "Goofy, how many ghosts did we see in Halloween Town?"

XXX

Calliope groaned. She was tired. And thirsty. Her throat was dry and her lips were cracked. Drops of water fell on her forehead one by one, but that water wasn't safe for her to drink. Or even touch, seeing as it burned her skin. Hours of straining against the chains that held her to a concrete slab hadn't done much for her aching muscles.

There was a crash from the direction of the nearby wall. Calliope coughed as dust clouds flew up.

Thalia's face, streaked with grime but otherwise okay, came into her line of vision.

"Thalia?" Calliope croaked, her voice barely audible.

"Calliope?" Thalia asked. "Wow. You look terrible. But I don't mean that in a bad way! We just need to get you out of here!"

"No," Calliope said. "You need to escape."

"I'm not leaving without you," Thalia said. "And seriously?" She indicated the dripping water. "Chinese water torture? Can't they be more creative? Though...is this water or acid?" She caught a drop of water in her palm. "It doesn't burn me."

"It's holy water, blessed by an angel twelve times. It would dissolve a lesser demon," Calliope explained.

"Oh, yeah. I forget you're part demon," Thalia said.

"It's Loki's lame idea of a joke," Calliope explained. "Because he was bound by the intestines of his son Nari and a serpent dripped venom on his face."

Thalia removed the pipet that was supplying the holy water dripping on Calliope's face and tossed it to one side. "There. Now to get rid of these chains."

"I can't break them," Calliope said. "And I've tried. If you find the Keyblade Wielders, they can unlock them. Now go!"

"Oh! A Keyblade can open any lock! Right! Thanks, Calliope." Thalia turned away, then stopped abruptly. "Wait. You just tried to trick me into leaving here without you, didn't you?"

"I'm serious, Thalia. You have to get out of here. It won't be long before they notice you've escaped..." Calliope began.

"I'm not leaving without you," Thalia interrupted. "You saved me once already, and I should do the same for you."

"I'll be okay," Calliope said. "Just run."

The door opened. Alecto stepped in, followed by a woman dressed in old-fashioned Nordic dress and a long veil.

Thalia threw up her hands. "This isn't what it looks like. Unless it looks like I'm helping Calliope escape, in which case it's exactly what it looks like."

Alecto sighed. "I go to the field for five minutes and I come back to a crisis. And my sisters are too busy online shopping to help me. My work is never done, Siguna."

"I can relate," the other woman said.

Thalia looked to Calliope for advice.

"Run," Calliope whispered.

"No," Thalia replied firmly. "I'm not going to let them hurt you anymore. To do nothing while you suffer is..." She trailed off and glared at Alecto.

"You should have stayed put," Alecto commented. A long silver chain with black crystal weights at either end materialized in her hands.

"You shouldn't have messed with me," Thalia replied. She summoned a pair of daggers, one in each hand, and assumed a fighting stance.

"If you hadn't tried to escape," Alecto continued. "Oblivia would have let you go."

"I'm supposed to believe that?" Thalia asked. "I'm not that smart, but I'm not that stupid either."

"No, I'd say you're that stupid," Alecto answered. "She was going to release Melpomene, but there was a little accident."

"You killed her," Thalia said.

"Not me," Alecto said. "She died by accident."

"Right," Thalia said. "I believe you. She would have died on purpose if it was you." She raised one dagger. "But someone's got to pay for her death. It might as well be you."

Alecto laughed. "You intend to defeat me? You're just a simpleton who doesn't know her place."

Thalia snarled and threw one of her daggers at Alecto, who swung her chain at just the right moment to deflect it. The dagger clattered on the marble floor some distance away, but Thalia made no move to retrieve it. She slid closer to Alecto instead. Alecto swung her chain again toward Thalia, but Thalia was agile enough to dodge.

Calliope writhed against her chains, hoping they'd break. The magic in them prevented her from casting support spells on Thalia. To her dismay, the chains showed no sign of breaking soon.

Thalia wove around Alecto's chain like a skilled acrobat, but she couldn't get in range to get a hit on Alecto. The fight seemed destined to end in a stalemate.

"Some assistance would be nice, Siguna!" Alecto snapped.

Siguna protested from a corner. "I don't know how to fight!"

"Just use a magic spell to slow her down," Alecto suggested. "I'll handle the rest."

"I can do that," Siguna nodded. "My husband just taught me a spell to freeze enemies." She began to chant.

Thalia cartwheeled back from Alecto, who pursued. Thalia reached for her second dagger, intending to throw it at Siguna and interrupt her spell incantation.

Alecto, however, managed to reach down and grab the dagger first. Seconds later, she shrieked and dropped it as the divine energy infused in the weapon burned her hand.

Thalia saw her opening and slashed at Alecto's neck. She missed and sliced open Alecto's cheek. Dark red blood dripped from the wound.

Alecto held her nonburned hand to her cheek. She gave a smirk that looked grotesque next to the bleeding line. "Got you."

"What do you mean?" Thalia asked as she retrieved the dropped dagger and prepared to slash Alecto a few more times.

"You're too easily distracted," Alecto said. "It's so laughable."

Thalia immediately spun around. Siguna was still casting a spell. The spell seal at her feet looked large and complex. "Oh, no." She raised one dagger, hoping to hit Siguna and interrupt the spell at the last second...

Too late. Siguna finished her incantation. "Nifleheim!"

Thousands of icicles materialized around Thalia. Each icicle had a sharp point. Thalia stared blankly at them for a few precious seconds, trying to think of a way out when the icicle stakes fell, one by one, into Thalia's body, piercing her face, arms, legs, and torso. The tide was relentless, like an endless barrage of bullets.

When the icicles finally stopped, Thalia slumped to the floor. She resembled a pincushion. Blood mixed with melted ice dripped on the floor. Thalia's once cheerful party dress was in tatters.

Alecto looked at the grisly scene. "Overkill. A simple 'stop' spell would have sufficed."

Calliope lay still, unable to cry. Her eyes felt gritty, and the tears would not come.

Siguna looked shocked. "How did I...?"

Alecto seemed impressed. "I should ask Loki to lend me the spell scroll. I can use it on Tisiphone when she hogs the bathroom."

"I don't understand," Siguna said. "I...how was it that powerful? My INT stat isn't that high..."

"Right," Alecto said. She looked Siguna over. "Your wrist."

Siguna held up her right wrist, revealing a glittering gold bracelet studded with large colorless gems. "This? Loki gave it to me as a present."

"As I suspected," Alecto said. "A magic bangle. Those aren't diamonds. They're magic crystals.. They amplified your own innate magic power. Rejoice, Siguna. Not everyone can let off a spell potent enough to kill a minor goddess."

Siguna looked toward Thalia's body, eyes filled with tears. She gasped. "Oh!"

Thalia's body was undergoing the same process as Melpomene's body. It glowed, then dissolved, leaving only a white sphere of light and a white daisy.

Alecto walked forward and took the ball of light.

"Get your filthy hands off her, Alecto!" Calliope said. Her voice was low and her eyes were downcast.

Alecto smirked. "And just what do you intend to do about it, Calliope?"

Siguna picked up the daisy. "This flower...it's so perfect, so delicate. I feel happy."

"Siguna, Alecto, I'm warning you both," Calliope said. "Give me Thalia's heart-soul complex and her body."

"Never!" Siguna said. "I love this flower. It will never decay."

"Then I'll use it to adorn your grave," Calliope snarled, straining against her bonds.

"Watch it, Calliope," Alecto said mockingly. "That sounds like something a demon would say."

"Unchain me if you want to see how much of a demon I am," Calliope replied.

Alecto burst out laughing. "You really thought that challenge would convince me to unlock your chains? I'm not that gullible."

Siguna glared at Calliope, her regret at causing Thalia's death melting away. "It isn't so nice when you're chained up. You feel just as my husband did. You saw your sister die, just as I saw my children die! I'd like to say 'now you know how I feel', but it isn't true. You will never know how I felt. Not ever!"

"What happened to your children was not my fault," Calliope retorted.

"You could have saved them!" Siguna screamed. "Loki said you always help the poor and downtrodden! You could have freed him! Don't you have any compassion?"

"Compassion?" Calliope asked. "You just killed my sister and you're holding her corpse! And you're not showing any remorse for what you've done! You're accusing me of lacking compassion?"

Siguna said nothing. She turned toward the stairs and stomped off. Alecto followed, carrying Thalia's essence.

Calliope sighed. "When Mother gets her body back, she is going to kill me."

XXX

Inside the hall, Siguna stormed off in the direction of the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Alecto asked.

"To confront my husband," Siguna said.

Alecto shrugged. "Very well. I'm going to the alchemy lab and putting Thalia's heart and soul complex into crystal to keep it from degrading."

Siguna bid her goodbye, then took a nearby staircase two stairs at a time. She burst into the kitchen. Her husband was sitting at a table, his back to her. Hades sat across from Loki. They were drinking nectar mixed with shots of vodka. "Loki!"

Loki turned around. "Pumpkin! Um, why do you look like you want to stab me in the eye?"

Siguna put her hands on her hips. "That Nifleheim spell you taught me to freeze enemies? It doesn't freeze them."

"Technically it does. The body temperatures of the victims do reach..."

"Oh, shut up!" Siguna snapped. "Stop being a role model for crooked politicians."

"A bit redundant," Hades said.

"You shut up!" Siguna snarled, turning to Hades. "Get out of here!"

"Do not envy you, bro," Hades whispered in Loki's ear before teleporting away.

Loki sighed. "I guess it's time we had a talk."

"You want a divorce?" Siguna scoffed. "You're unbelievable."

"I would have said, 'We need to talk' if I wanted that. Just to be clear, were you offering a divorce?"

"NO!"

"Okay," Loki shrugged. "You're mad at me. I'm kind of worried you don't love me anymore. We haven't had sex since before...you know."

"Before the Aesir murdered our children and imprisoned you under a serpent that dripped highly caustic spittle on your face?" Siguna shook her head. "Is sex all you care about?"

"Well, we could make a few new babies!"

"Asshole!" Siguna snarled.

Loki sighed. "Did I say something wrong again? Look, Siggy. I taught you that spell so you could defend yourself. And I gave you that bracelet because it was your birthday."

"It wasn't, Loki. It's September. My birthday is in April."

"In April? Are you sure...?" Loki backed away as Siguna glared at him, then continued. "OK, it was a 'just because' gift. Or because you were mad at me. I forget which."

Siguna palmed her face.

"Siguna, you're being so unfair," Loki whined. "You never thank me for all the stuff I do to please you."

"Like what, Loki?"

"Remember when Sif said her new hairdo was prettier than yours? I cut off all her hair!"

"No, that was just you being an immature jerk."

"Come on, it was funny."

Siguna turned her back. "Loki, I'm tired of fighting with you."

"Does that mean make-up sex?" Loki asked in a hopeful tone.

"No."

"Aww, Siguna. Angbola's tired of my visits."

"Angbola?" Siguna asked, sounding irritated.

"Oops. I wasn't supposed to tell you that..."

"Bastard!" Siguna punched Loki hard enough to send him flying through a nearby wall. "You know I hate it when you see her without me!"

Loki poked his head out of the hole he made in the wall. "Does this mean I'm sleeping on the couch for a week? You know men don't mind that. It's like camping."

"Leave me alone, Loki," Siguna sighed, grabbing a bottle of vodka from the table and gulping down half of it.

"Fine. I'm cutting my losses and shutting up." Loki stormed off.

Siguna swallowed more vodka. "This is good grog, but I need something a little more flavorful." She began to rummage in the cupboards. "Kahlua and chocolate would hit the spot."

XXX

Inside the Garden of Gods, Philemon faced Maia, Auron, Gordon, and Kairi. He held a silver orb in his hands.

"I found that in my body when I was trying to excise a soul fragment," Maia commented. "Do you know why the seal won't break when Kairi applies a Keyblade to it?"

"This is a two-part seal," Philemon explained. "One part of the seal has been broken by the Keyblade."

"I gathered," Maia said. "How do we break the other seal?"

"I don't know," Philemon said. "It's a condition spell. It will only break when a certain condition is met."

"And you don't know what that condition is? Or what's behind this seal?" Maia asked. She took the orb from Philemon and slipped it into the Jack Frost doll.

"I confess I do not," Philemon replied.

Maia scoffed. "It's probably a curse. It will kill me once the conditions – whatever they are – have been fulfilled."

"Aren't you being paranoid?" Philemon asked. "What would Mother have to gain by killing you?"

"You're too trusting," Maia snapped. "I'm keeping this thing out of my body just in case." She handed the doll to Gordon and then turned back to Philemon. "I think you do know what this is, and you're not telling me! And further, why didn't you tell me you syphoned off the time-stopping magic in the Velvet Room? In case you haven't noticed, I'm on a deadline! I have to stop my son from trying to fight a battle he can't win! And another thing…" Maia expressed her displeasure with color and flair, using words that our censors would not let us share.

Kairi blinked. "I've never seen Maia so angry."

Gordon shuddered and hugged the Jack Frost doll to himself. "Ooh. I have."

XXX

Meanwhile, Calamity was watching Maia chew out Philemon via her viewing ball. She pulled out a fancy-looking cell phone and hit the fourth number on her speed dial.

"Lezard Valeth speaking," Lezard's voice responded from the other end.

"Slight change of plans, but she didn't catch on," Calamity said.

"Good thing I know what you're talking about already, or we'd have to waste minutes going over it provider is a total racketeer. Ninety five cents a minute for interworld calls!"

"I'm the one paying your bill!" Calamity snapped. "Point is, everything is still going according to plan."

"See, my dear? You worried over nothing. Your ridiculously circuitous plan was in no danger of falling apart."

"Ridiculously circuitous plan?" Calamity repeated. "You're one to talk on that subject. And when will Electric Haircut be ready?"

"It's ready now," Lezard said. "If you wish, I can unveil it to the others as soon as Solidor and I return from the field."

"Yes, do that," Calamity said. "You know what to do, and no mistakes."

"Understood," Lezard replied. "Over and out of sight." There was a click as Lezard hung up.


	25. Unstable Balance

"This place is just creepy!" Sora complained. He and his companions were trudging along a dimly lit path lined with human skulls. Ghosts that looked like young women or bony fish would approach, then float away without a word. "I see dead people!"

"Why are the ghosts here avoiding us?" Goofy asked.

"They sense our power," Euterpe explained. "The ghouls only attack weaker opponents."

"They only pick fights they can win?" Donald observed. "How..."

"Prudent?" Polyhymnia suggested.

"I was going to say 'cowardly'," Donald said. "Hey, Sora, did you know I once beat Pete in a wrestling match?"

"You only won because of a lucky punch," Mickey said. "And that was years ago! Stop bragging about it before Pete challenges you again."

"Hey, I only get so many victories," Donald whined. "I'll take what I can get."

"We're here," Clio said. They were in front of a palace made of angular steel and glass smoked so dark that no one could see inside. "Endelphia Palace. The residence of the Queen of the Dead."

"You do the talking," Euterpe said simply. "She's too stand-offish for my taste."

"Yeah, way to not be a hypocrite there," Erato whispered to Riku, who snickered.

"Very well," Clio said, either not hearing or ignoring Erato's comment. "I hope she forgives us for barging in here without an invitation." She walked across a drawbridge over a moat that looked toxic, if the purple water was any indication. The others shrugged and followed her.

"How does the Queen see in this darkness?" Sora whined. The palace was even darker inside the walls than outside.

"She hardly needs to see," Erato said. "She senses the heartbeats of those who come in her palace."

"Gleep!" Goofy cried, jumping. He knocked over a statue or wall sconce – it was impossible to tell which.

"I'm joking," Erato said. "She's just really good at seeing in dim light."

"She must have a higher rod to cone ratio than us," Clio said. "We're here."

"Would it kill her to have a night-light on in her throne room?" Riku asked.

"Oh, believe me," Erato said. "You don't want to see her."

"I heard that!" A feminine yet sinister voice called.

"I meant only that seeing your _fabulous _visage would overload his brain, Your Highness," Erato corrected.

"Cut the crap, Daughter of Mnemosyne!" said the voice. "Why are you here?"

"We are sorry to disturb you, dear Queen Odette," Clio said quickly. "We need some jewels from your realm. They don't have to be gem-quality. If there is anything you'd like…"

"Well, you've pleased me by at least asking for those jewels," Odette's voice said. "But if you'd really like to get into my good graces, you'll deal with some thieves that have recently trespassed into my realm. They arrived earlier today. I sent a troop of Halja after them, but none returned."

"I find it hard to believe ordinary jewel thieves could dispatch one Halja, let alone multiple Halja," Euterpe interrupted.

"They don't seem to be ordinary thieves, then," Odette replied flippantly.

"So you want us to investigate?" Mickey asked.

"At least get them out of my kingdom," Odette said. "As advance payment, I will give you some crystals. Since you asked so nicely."

"Oh, thank you, Your Grace," Clio said.

Goofy struck a match he found in his pocket, then screamed. A heavy, imposing figure wearing a deep green cloak stood over him. The figure held a silver tray covered with small but shiny purple crystals balanced on one hand, and a scythe the size of Goofy's shield in the other.

"Goofy, it's just a Halja," Euterpe said, taking the tray. "One of Queen Odette's servants."

Donald swung his staff. "Goofy, you dunce!"

"Oww!" Polyhymnia cried.

"Sorry," Donald said. "I was aiming for Goofy's shin."

"You hit me in the chest!" Polyhymnia whined. "It hurts."

"How can it hurt, Poly?" Riku asked. "Your boobs are pretty sizable. So I'd think they'd cushion the blow!"

"RIKU!" Sora cried.

**As much as I hate to defend Riku, he's being honest. Poly's breasts look so comfy. I just want to put my head between them and take a nap. **

"Oh, shut up, Roxas!" Sora yelled.

"Who's Roxas?" Odette asked.

"Nobody," Donald said quickly.

"I think we'll take our leave now," Terpsichore brought the awkward meeting to a close. "Now let's get out of here."

The party walked out of the palace in a tight huddle.

"That went well," Riku said.

"Are you being sarcastic?" Terpsichore asked. "That was humiliating! And to put that in perspective, I had to give Onyx an erotic dance!"

"Well, we got the crystals," Riku replied. "I don't see why we can't just return to the Gummi Ship."

"We said we'd check out these jewel thieves," Mickey said. "And our dealings with Onyx weren't exactly honorable."

"So what? We've got to re-establish our good karma?" Riku asked.

"Well, you should know that better than anyone," Terpsichore said.

"I already went on my year-long redemption quest," Riku snapped. "Unless making fun of my descent into darkness is going to be a running gag, shut up!"

"**Beating you up is already a running gag." **Roxas commented through Sora.

"No one's talking to you, Roxas," Riku said. "So shut up."

"**Frankly, your performance as the Final Boss in **_**358/2 Days **_**was so pathetic…" **Roxas continued.

"I SAID SHUT UP!" Riku cried. "Sora, you really need to put a lid on that stupid Nobody of yours."

"How is it my fault?" Sora whined.

"Can we stop this little snipe-fest?" Terpsichore asked. "How are we even going to find…"

There was a bright explosion from afar.

"Goofy, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Donald asked.

"I think so, Donald," Goofy answered. "But out of all the possible permutations of seven names, what were the odds we'd get the order exactly right on the first try?"

"No," Donald said. "We follow that explosion!"

And so the party proceeded in the general direction of the explosion.

Polyhymnia ran ahead of the party. A carcass of a Halja was in the middle of the path. She bent down and examined it. "This one's fresh. No rigor. Cause of death was severe burns."

"How can you tell that?" Riku asked.

Polyhymnia pointed to the Halja's cloak. "These scorch marks. This was no ordinary fire spell."

"Sora, are you okay?" Donald asked.

"Um, yes?" Sora said. "Why do you ask?"

"Your face is all pale," Donald replied.

"It's nothing," Sora replied. "It's…" He looked at the dead Halja. "Most of the things I've fought just vanished when I killed them. The Heartless, the Nobodies, the humanoid Nobodies."

"And Poly just made it worse by conducting an autopsy?" Riku said. "I feel a little queasy myself."

"She technically did a necroscopy, not an autopsy," Clio said.

"There's another one!" Polyhymnia said. She got up and ran to another dead Halja in the road. "This one died from severe blows…to the back." She looked sickened. "It was running away. Or floating away."

Terpsichore gestured to more dead Halja up the road. "What do you suppose killed them?"

Polyhymnia walked up to them. "These are obvious. An area of effect ice spell. Some ice crystals haven't even melted yet."

The party continued onward, using the myriad dead Halja as guideposts. They eventually came to a large clearing. Purple crystals of various sizes jutted out from the ground. Two men were standing in front of a basket filled with crystals. One had short light brown hair and wore deep blue robes, as well as round glasses. He was reading from a large book titled _Advanced Alchemy for Fun and Profit. _

The other man wore a cloak over green and gold armor. He had long dark hair. Upon seeing the party, he smiled warmly and gave a deep bow. "I do not believe we've met."

"We haven't," Riku said. "Who are you?"

"My name is Vayne Carudas Solidor, Emperor of Arcadia," The man said. "It is a privilege to meet the three Warriors of the Keyblade."

"You're royalty? We never would have guessed," Erato said sarcastically.

"I have heard much about you," Vayne continued. "I am pleased to make your acquaintances."

"What is it with these oddly polite villains?" Donald complained. "Guido was jarring enough!"

"Not every villain is rude," Clio said. "Like heroes, villains run a gamut."

"Articulate, well-dressed, and not from around here," Goofy said suddenly. "I know! They're the guys who got that flame thingy from King Oni!"

"Onyx," Donald corrected. "Wait. Them?"

Vayne held out a burning ember. "Yes, King Onyx was so kind to allow us to have this piece of the Sacred Flame."

"But if you got what you wanted," Mickey said. "Why are you still here?"

"Isn't that obvious?" The other man piped up. "To intercept you."

"And you are?" Sora asked.

The man took a step forward and adjusted his glasses. He threw out his arms in a dramatic, or so he hoped, gesture. "I am he who hath entrusted his soul to the eternal vortex of time! Ye know me, and if ye do not, ye shall be made to know me! It shall be engraved on thy very soul! Lezard Valeth! I am the knower of the most obscure arcane secrets! Creator of a world stemming neither from Kingdom Hearts, the World of Light, or the World of Darkness! Discoverer of the Philosopher's Stone, Devourer of Gods, the Transcendental Being, the true love of Lenneth Valkyrie! Look upon me, Warriors of the Keyblade, and despair! For I am the harbinger of your doom! I shall deliver you to the plane of nonexistence, if the plane of nonexistence will take the present from my hands!"

Riku yawned. "Does he ever shut..." He sank to the ground and began to snore deeply.

Goofy was snoring as well. Donald took out his staff to cast a well-placed lightning spell, but drifted off to sleep mid-cast.

Sora curled up on the ground. "So tired..."

**No, Sora! You can't fall asleep! **Roxas cried.

Lezard was still rambling. "I am supreme! I am god!"

**Damn,** Roxas said. **So boring. Can't stay awake...**

Euterpe looked at her sisters. They too were having trouble staying awake. "Stave it off! I beseech you!" She stifled a yawn.

"Can't help it," Polyhymnia replied.

"I'll kick his butt as soon as I take a little nappie," Terpsichore mumbled.

"Have...to...resist," Euterpe said, speech slurring. Her eyelids felt like lead. She staggered forward, toward Lezard and Vayne, drawing her spear. She stumbled and fell face first onto the ground. Her spear fell out of her hand and vanished with a shimmer. With a sigh, Euterpe sank into unconsciousness.

Lezard was still going, seemingly oblivious to the fact his audience save for Vayne had fallen asleep. "Quite frankly, the mere existence of such pitiful 'heroes' such as yourselves is an affront. An affront that I shall soon correct..."

"You can stop now, Sir Lezard," Vayne said, admiration evident in his voice. "Your spell put them to sleep!"

Lezard looked confused. "I don't understand. I have not cast my spell yet."

Vayne nodded. "Oh, I see. The Vaarsuvius technique."

"The what?" Lezard asked.

Vayne shook his head. "Not important." He walked over to the sleeping Euterpe and picked her up. "Why were we ordered to only retrieve this one?"

"As opposed to annihilating them?" Lezard asked. "Her Grace Oblivia wants to test a theory. She set up an experiment before you joined our ranks. Lady Euterpe is lovely, isn't she? But cold. The spell Frigid Damsel is named after her. Let us return to our base. That is the proper course of action."

"I concur, Sir Lezard," Vayne said.

Lezard summoned a darkness portrait and stepped into it. Vayne followed, carrying Euterpe as if he were carrying a loved one. The portal closed after them.

XXX

Urania stood in front of the window in her guest bedroom at Disney Castle. She clutched Melpomene's hyacinth and stared out into the verdant garden below.

Minnie walked up and stood behind her. "Miss Urania?"

"Yes, Queen Minnie?" Urania asked, not bothering to turn to look at Minnie.

"Are you okay?"

"No. I see decay in every blade of grass below, cankers on every rose, and rot in every tree. They're omens, telling me to laugh not, because soon I will be nothing. Like them."

"Why do you say that?" Minnie asked.

"I can only guess," Urania said. She turned around to glare at Minnie. "Why the hell would you care? We've just met. I'm not stupid enough to believe you'd care."

"But I do care," Minnie said. "I can see you're in pain."

"Hmph," Urania said. "And yet you imprison me here."

"Mickey said to keep you here. For your own safety."

"I don't want to know what Mickey thinks. I want to know what you think. Do you think it right to keep me here against my will?" Urania turned back to the window. "Leave me be."

"I won't!" Minnie cried. "You shouldn't be alone right now! You're in danger, and you don't feel right!"

"I'm not alone," Urania held out the hyacinth. "My sister is with me."

"It's just a flower," Minnie retorted.

"You're right," Urania said, placing the hyacinth in a glass vase on a nearby nightstand. "Her heart and soul, everything that made her what she was is no longer here. Your Majesty, do you believe that the bad are punished?"

"Of course," Minnie said. "And every bit of love and kindness you send out into the world will return to you threefold."

"A nice dream, Your Majesty, but alas, only a dream," Urania answered.

XXX

Sora opened his eyes and yawned.

Polyhymnia stood over him, casting a shadow over his face.

Sora sat up and glared at Polyhymnia. "Give me a break, Poly!"

"Sora, you hopeless sleepyhead," Polyhymnia snapped. "Everyone else has already woken up. Well, Euterpe is…not accounted for."

"Huh?" Sora asked.

"She's gone," Polyhymnia explained.

"Gone?" Sora asked. He got up to his feet.

The rest of the party was seated in a circle nearby.

"So you finally woke up," Donald said crabbily. "I wanted to use a lightning spell to wake you."

"Why didn't you?" Sora asked.

"He did it to Goofy and put him in V-Fib," Erato interrupted.

"Not my fault," Donald said. "I'm used to using much weaker staves than the legendary Wand of Apocalypse."

"Never mind," Mickey said. "Why would the bad guys just knock us out?"

"To create confusion?" Riku suggested.

"If they did, it worked," Goofy said. "I'm very confused."

"You're always confused," Donald commented.

"Yes, but I'm more confused than usual," Goofy amended.

"Let's just try to work through this cognitively," Clio said. "Euterpe is missing. Vayne and Lezard got a piece of the Sacred Flame from King Onyx. And it's fairly obvious they were the jewel thieves Queen Odette was so irate about."

"Maybe Euterpe woke up first and tried to chase them down?" Terpsichore suggested.

"I don't think so," Clio said. "It's not like her to just leave us. Erato, can you use your scanning powers to find her?"

"I can try," Erato said. She pressed her palms together and began to concentrate. "I feel her. She's in Castle Oblivion. I can't quite synchronize my heart with hers. Probably the distance between us."

"Well, she's probably okay," Sora said. "We'll storm the castle soon, so let's move on…" He looked at Erato, who looked visibly upset. "Is something wrong?"

"Thalia," Erato said. "I can't feel her presence. At all. No thoughts, no resonance. Nothing. Her soul is dormant, meaning she's dead." She looked at the ground. "We're too late."

"Look, it's not over yet," Clio said. "There's still hope. If we can recover her soul and save Mother, she can be revived. Let's go to Radiant Garden."

"Why Radiant Garden?" Sora asked.

"So Merlin can help us purify these Phozon crystals to perform the Soul Separation," Clio responded.

"Right," Mickey agreed. "We'll set course for Radiant Garden once we report back to the Queen." The party began to walk back the way they came.

"Hey, Sora," Riku said. "I'll bet you three thousand munny that Merlin's going to need a favor and won't purify the crystals until we do it."

"You're on," Sora responded. "Merlin wouldn't do that. Besides, fetch quests in RPGs are so old hat."

"Oh, come on," Riku retorted. "Finding Jane's slides? That whole Olympus Stone BS? Getting the password for Tron? What makes you think this is going to be any different...?"

XXX

"I'm fine with moving on," Kairi said. "But can we revisit the Velvet Room first so I can change?"

"Certainly," Maia said. "I'll work on opening a portal. Let's take this opportunity to stock up on potions and ethers for when we meet Sora."

**I like this outfit.** Naminé commented. **Kairi, why can't you wear more white? It looks good on me...er, you. **

"Because white makes me look like a ghost," Kairi replied. "Like the ones that supposedly haunt the pond back home. I've never seen them, but Riku's brothers claim to. But they're compulsive liars. And jerks. Yazoo used to pull my hair all the time."

**Doesn't that mean he likes you? **Naminé asked.

"Ew!" Kairi said. "No! Where would you get that idea?"

**Marluxia said that's how immature men show that they like a girl. Because I didn't understand why Axel was pulling on Larxene's...**

"Never mind," Kairi said.

**All I'm asking is...would it be okay if you wore some clothes that I pick out? **

"Okay," Kairi whispered. "I can't know what you want if you don't tell me. And you never talk about yourself."

**Well, perhaps if you showed a little _interest! _**

"Portal's open," Maia called.

"Coming," Kairi replied. "We'll talk about this later, Naminé. Naminé?" No answer. "You don't have to give me the silent treatment!"

XXX

On Destiny Islands, Lulu was leading a party consisting of herself, Wakka, Tidus, and Chappu.

"Slow down, Lu," Wakka panted.

"You're a little out of shape," Lulu remarked, twirling the Mystic Sage staff in her hands like a majorette baton.

"It's the off season," Wakka complained.

"Yeah, I don't walk this much even at work," Tidus whined. "And this thing is hot." He pointed at his garb – a replica of a Ghostbusters uniform.

"Part of me wants to ask why you're wearing that," Chappu said. "And part of me doesn't want to know."

"Anachronism humor," Tidus said. "This is so lame!"

"What's lame?" Lulu asked. "Dispelling a yurei from the Cenote so she doesn't lure any more kids to their deaths? How is that lame?"

"Not that!" Tidus waved his arms. "It's that we were last in Chapter 21."

"And?" Wakka asked.

"It's Chapter 25 now!" Tidus snapped. "Isn't that a bit long? What are the other characters doing that is so important that we get tossed aside?"

"I'm grateful to have 'screen time' at all," Chappu said.

"Ya," Wakka said. "Tidus, remember we weren't even in Kingdom Hearts II!"

"Oh, yeah," Tidus said. "Still, it's ridiculous for us to..."

"In Dickens, plotlines could be suspended for over a hundred pages," Lulu interrupted.

"Huh?" Tidus asked. "I don't get it."

"Perspective," Lulu explained. She stopped. "Here we are. The Cenote. Chappu, you're on."

"What?" Chappu asked.

"Go see if she'll come," Lulu snapped.

"Why do I gotta do this?" Chappu whined.

"Because I'll punt you into the water if you don't!" Lulu said evenly.

Chappu folded his arms. "Fine, but I won't take you to the school dance!"

"Hey! I'm taking her to the dance!" Wakka protested. "We made plans months in advance!"

"I had her first!" Chappu complained.

"I find rigor mortis to be a turn-off," Lulu said in a tone icier than her normal voice.

"Well, screw you, Lulu!" Chappu cried. "I've had it! You think you can get away with anything just because you have the nicest boobs on the whole island! I could have gotten over that you cheated on me without dumping me first, but, but, but..."

"What?" Tidus asked.

Chappu hopped up and down in anger. "The other guy was Wakka!"

"Hey," Wakka said. "I'm right here."

"I cheated on you?" Lulu asked. "You cheated on me! You've been cavorting with that little slut Giselle! Speaking of which..." Lulu waved her wand. "Giselle! I know you're here! Show yourself this instant!" No answer. The lilies on the cenote bobbed in the wind. "If you want a fight, I don't mind!"

A figure rose out of the water. It was a small girl, the same girl in the newspaper article. Clad in an ornately ruffled dress, she walked toward the group, as if the water were solid ground. In one hand, she clutched a stuffed rabbit with a hangman's noose around its neck.

"You don't have to yell," the girl said. "I can hear fine."

"We know what you are, Giselle," Lulu said coldly. "A sorrowful spirit. Death has brought you no peace. But with these spells..." Lulu dug a fistful of papers from her blouse pocket.

"I have a better idea," Giselle said. "Why don't you all take a dip in the pool and we'll play forever and forever. You can meet my big sisters!"

"Big sisters?" Tidus asked.

As if on cue, the lilies of the cenote glowed. Golden vapor rose from each center. The vapor coalesced into outlines of young girls.

"The Lily Girls!" Tidus cried.

"Whoohoo!" Wakka said. "We get to see hot babes!"

"Um, not exactly a sentiment you want to express in front of your girlfriend," Tidus admonished.

Giselle stepped back with a smirk. "Big sisters. These meanies want to take me away! Annihilate them, pretty please?"

The Lily Girls floated toward the party.

"Um, maybe we came at a bad time?" Tidus asked.

"Cheese it!" Wakka cried. All four of the children turned and ran as fast as they could into town.

Lulu clutched her chest once they stopped. "They didn't pursue us."

"That was kind of...embarrassing," Tidus said.

"Better embarrassed than..." Wakka scratched his head. "Wait. What can they do to us? They're dead!"

Lulu shook her head. "I guess it's just instinctive."

"Does that mean we get to go back and fight?" Tidus asked.

"Are you kidding?" Wakka asked.

XXX

Urania was standing on the ledge of the window. The window was wide open, with Urania's back to open air.

"You better come down this instant!" Minnie warned.

"Or what?" Urania said. "All I have to do is fall back. This room's on the sixth floor. I'm sure my mass will accelerate faster than your reaction time. You wouldn't catch me."

"What do you want from me?" Minnie asked. "I just went to get you some cookies." She held up a tray of warm sugar cookies shaped like the Disney Kingdom emblem. "And now you're threatening to jump out of nowhere. Why are you doing this?"

"I don't want to die in agony," Urania said. "If I throw myself, death would be instant. Painless."

"Why do you think you're going to die?" Minnie asked.

"Because I have foreseen it. The gift of prophecy some say is a gift and a curse. But they don't realize it's only a curse." Urania shook her head. "I begged Sora to let me stay with him, and he refused! And with that act, he sealed my doom! I don't want to postpone the inevitable."

"But can't you think of me?" Minnie asked. "How do you think your sisters will feel if I tell them you jumped out the window?"

"They wouldn't care. They left me behind. Screw their feelings!"

"And your father?" Minnie inquired.

Urania hesitated. "He is already dead, and thus beyond caring."

"And your mother?"

Urania paled.

Minnie knew she had hit the right answer. "How would she feel?"

"She shouldn't have to lose two daughters to gravity," Urania said quietly.

Minnie extended her free hand. "Come down. With me. I'll take you to the Hall of the Cornerstone. The warm light it gives never fails to make me feel better."

Urania stepped down from the window ledge and grasped Minnie's hand. "I've always wanted to see it."

XXX

At the same time, Sora's party had arrived at Radiant Garden. They were inside Merlin's house.

Merlin examined one of the Phozon crystals through a jeweler's loupe. "Yes, these Phozon crystals do need to be purified. The soul energy in them must be released and then recrystallized."

"So can you do it?" Donald asked.

"Am I physically able to?" Merlin asked. "Yes. But I need some supplies to perform the rites."

"Such as?" Mickey asked.

Merlin thought a moment. "An orichalcum candlestick for the recrystallization ceremony, polar drops to purify the space, a charm feather to fix the magic in space, and silver threads to rebuild the magic matrices. Those four things."

Riku turned to Sora. "I told you so. Now pay up!"

Sora grumbled and dug around in his pockets for some munny.

XXX

Euterpe opened her eyes. She looked down at herself. Heavy-looking chains wound their way around her wrists and ankles.

"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty," Megaera stood in front of Euterpe. She held Euterpe's winged helmet and a hand mirror.

"Where are my sisters?" Euterpe demanded.

"Thalia, Calliope, or the ones with the Keybearers?" Megaera asked.

"All of them."

"Calliope's still here. Thalia bit it."

"Who did it?" Euterpe asked.

"Siguna. Loki's wife."

"Why?" Euterpe asked.

"It was an accident. A very funny one. You'd have to ask Alecto. Now it's my turn to ask questions." Megaera held up the mirror. "Notice anything new?"

Euterpe gazed at her reflection. A golden diadem was on her head. "Calliope's crown?"

"No," Megaera explained. "It just looks like it. It's a state of the art mind control device. And now for a demonstration. Do the Caramelldansen!"

Euterpe immediately stood up and did an odd dance that consisted of her holding her hands to the sides of her head and flapping them while simultaneously swaying her hips.

"Squee!" Megaera cried. "You look so cute!" She pulled out a video camera and began to film Euterpe.

Euterpe blushed. "Why am I doing this? I've never even heard of this ridiculous dance, if it could even be called a dance!"

Megaera shut off the camcorder. "I'll post this footage to YouTube later. You can stop."

Euterpe stopped dancing.

"Kneel before me!" Megaera cried.

"Sure you don't want me to cluck like a chicken?" Euterpe asked. "Bark like a dog?"

"Just do it! And do it now!"

Euterpe winced as she kneeled in front of Megaera. She glared. "You know I would never do this if I was in control of my body."

"Right," Megaera said. "But notice that you're completely aware of what's happening? Most mind control devices leave their victim a witless pawn."

"But you can only compel someone to act against their nature for so long," Euterpe answered. "So when this inevitably ends…"

"You'll tear me to pieces?" Megaera asked. "Yeah, I remember the last time we fought. You ripped my leg off!"

"I wish I hadn't been so merciful," Euterpe snarled.

Megaera placed Euterpe's helmet back on her head, covering the diadem. She then took out a key and unlocked Euterpe's shackles. "Her Majesty wants to talk to you, so come with me."

Euterpe stood up and tried to summon her spear. It wouldn't materialize.

Megaera sensed her confusion. "The Slave Crown blocks any conscious action that our team deems detrimental to our purpose. You can't attack me. Or Oblivia, or any of her executives."

"Of course," Euterpe said. "Why else would you take the chains off? Or for that matter, why would you put them on in the first place?"

"I didn't want to take chances," snapped Megaera. "Now follow me."

Euterpe obeyed and followed Megaera down a dimly lit passageway. She sniffed the air. "Blood. Lots of it. I'd know that smell anywhere."

"Is it because you value blood above all else that you never tire of the sight of it?" Megaera asked. "Or is there another reason?" They were in front of a door. "Go in."

Euterpe swallowed and grasped the doorknob.

"Go on!" Megaera snapped.

Sighing, Euterpe opened the door. It was pitch black. She stepped inside. The door slammed shut behind her. "Megaera?" The smell of blood was thicker.

Bright lights snapped on. Euterpe found herself in a room with sterile white walls. At least, they would be sterile if they weren't covered with brown stains. Her eyes shifted to the center of the room. Calliope was there, still, chained to a large concrete slab. Euterpe ran to her. "Calliope? Is that you?"

Calliope was breathing normally, but her clothes were torn and so covered in dark stains that the original color was impossible to discern. Her hair was tangled and matted. Her skin was pale, but showed no outward signs of injury. She coughed. "Euterpe, I'm happy to see you're safe…well, relatively speaking. I must apologize for my appearance."

"Still the same as ever," Euterpe said. She looked around. There was no one else in the room. Or anything else. No furniture besides the slab Calliope was chained to. "Calamity!" Euterpe called. "I know you're watching! Come out and face me!"

"Seriously?" Calamity materialized on the other side of Calliope's slab. "You know you can't fight me and your sister's not able to help. And you still call me out? And you can't ask nicely? My name is Oblivia, and you should respect me."

"You've never given me reason to respect you," Euterpe responded. "What have you done to Calliope?"

"I have done nothing to her," Calamity answered. "My demon personnel might have cut off a few pieces and watched them regenerate, or burned her with cigarettes and red hot pincers."

"Why would you let them do that? To your own niece?" Euterpe asked in disbelief.

"Proximate answer or ultimate answer?" Calamity replied.

"Both."

"Well, the proximate answer is I'm feeding off both her and Mnemosyne's pain and anguish," Calamity explained. "The ultimate answer is she deserves it."

"No one deserves that!"

"She hurt me!" Calamity snarled. "She attacked me, if you remember. It took me hours to recover. But that isn't all. I wanted to see how well her powers of regeneration worked. If you remember, your mother cast a spell on her that prevents her from dying unless she wills herself to die."

"So you're trying to put her through so much pain she wishes for death?" Euterpe asked. "That's sick, even for you."

"You misunderstand," Calamity said. "I cannot make her wish for death just so the pain will end. She is too powerful for that. This is merely a means of neutralizing the threat to my well-being, as is the mind control you are under. You, Calliope, and Clio are the most powerful of Mnemosyne's daughters. The rest of them are just weak and helpless little girls. Torturing Calliope doesn't give me pleasure. Well, perhaps some pleasure. But the one I really want is Kore."

"Well, good luck finding Kore's soul," Euterpe said sarcastically. "Many have tried. All failed."

"They failed because they didn't know where to look," Calamity said.

"And you're saying you do?" Euterpe arched an eyebrow.

"I've said too much," Calamity said. "Why are you so concerned about Calliope? I can feel your anger. I don't understand you. You hate her, so why aren't you happy to see her like this?"

"I don't hate her," Euterpe replied. "I know my sisters and mother love her more than they love me, if they love me at all. But I don't hate Calliope for it."

"You aren't a good liar, dearie," Calamity said. "You've been jealous of her practically since birth. Think of this as your chance to finally pay her back."

"What do you mean by that?" Euterpe asked.

"Take a stab at torturing her."

"What?!" Euterpe cried. She drew her spear involuntarily and plunged it into Calliope's right flank. Calliope closed her eyes and bit her tongue to keep from crying out, but the pain on her face was visible.

"Good," Calamity said. "Now twist it."

Euterpe grasped the handle of the spear and twisted it ninety degrees to the right. Calliope jerked against her bonds, but still gave no audible sounds of pain. Euterpe then pulled out the spear, dropped it, and put her hands to Calliope's wound to stop the copious bleeding.

"By Kingdom Hearts," Euterpe said, looking at her blood-stained hands. "What have I become?"

"The monster you were created to be," Calamity answered. "You can't kill her, but you can make her cry."

"I don't want to!" Euterpe protested. "I never wanted this!"

"Stop lying to yourself," Calamity said. "Become darkness itself. Become death itself."

"No," Euterpe answered. "I won't give into darkness, or my insecurities! I'm not weak like Riku!"

"Then if you are truly strong, override the Slave Crown and attack me," Calamity said.

Euterpe glanced at her dropped spear. Calliope's blood stained the tip. She tried to reach for it, but her arms wouldn't respond.

"I thought so," Calamity said cheerfully. "Your torture techniques are brutal, but you lack refinement. Torture is an art, and your victim is your canvas." She reached over to Calliope's chains and unlocked them.

Calliope groaned.

"Here's your chance," Euterpe said. "Run!" She took Calliope's hand. It was cold and clammy. "You have to get up!"

"She can't," Calamity explained. "No energy left. She hasn't eaten in days and she hasn't been sleeping well. She might have been able to outrun me, were it not for that blood loss just now. And who stabbed her?"

"Me," Euterpe said softly. "It's my fault." She pulled Calliope off the slab and helped her to her feet.

Calliope wrapped her arms around Euterpe's shoulders for support. She gave Euterpe a kiss on the cheek.

"You're forgiving me," Euterpe said. "But I'm not worthy." Tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Stop crying," Calamity ordered. "I'm just going to give you a tutorial in the art of torture. Once you earn a passing grade, you can go meet your other sisters. Won't that be nice?" The door opened, and Megaera walked in, followed by Tisiphone and Alecto.

Euterpe clutched her sister tighter as Megaera, Tisiphone, and Alecto came ever closer. "No! Stay back!"


	26. Inscription on a Tombstone

Minnie, Clarabelle, Daisy, and Urania sat on cushions arranged in a circle.

"I'll begin," Minnie said. "I'm worried about you, Urania."

"What? This an intervention?" Urania scoffed.

"Why are you so angry?" Clarabelle asked.

"Why do you ask?" Urania replied. "You some sort of tourist in other people's misery?"

"She just wants to help you," Daisy said.

Urania sighed. "I wasn't always like this. I used to be quite chipper. Sometimes I drink and go back to that, but it always fades. My sisters hardly understand. They don't like me. They didn't want me to come with them. They took the little PTSD case, Polyhymnia, but didn't take me. So I had a breakdown. Who wouldn't? Don't tell anyone, but Melpomene was my favorite of my sisters. I couldn't be with her as she died. And I knew she would die, but I couldn't stop it."

"It's natural to feel sad," Minnie said.

"Of course it's natural," Urania replied. "I'd worry if I wasn't feeling sad and drained." She took out a glass bottle. "How about a stiff drink?"

"Is that alcohol?" Daisy asked.

"Nothing but," Urania said, giving a mischievous smile. "Everyone knows drinking sweeps away sorrow like a broom!"

"Maybe we shouldn't," Daisy said.

"Your loss," Urania replied, yanking on the cork. "More for me. A lot more."

"On second thought," Clarabelle stood up. "I'll go get four glasses."

"See that you do, Miss Cow," Urania said. "There's a lot more where this came from. All on me. Let's have a toast. To being left behind."

"Hear hear," Minnie said. Daisy and Clarabelle shot her a look.

"What?" Minnie asked. "Mickey expects me to do everything when he goes away!"

XXX

Speaking of Mickey, he was still in Radiant Garden, briefing the others: Donald, Goofy, Sora, Riku, Terpsichore, Erato, Clio, and Polyhymnia.

"All right," Mickey said. "We need polar drops, an orichalcum candlestick, silver threads, and a charm feather."

"So where can we get that stuff?" Sora asked.

"We can probably buy polar drops from that moogle stand across the street," Donald suggested. "They're a common synthesis ingredient."

Riku nodded. "Let me handle this." He walked across the street. "Hello, I need some polar drops, and if you pull something stupid like you're out of stock and or and ask me to go on a fetch quest, I'll slice off your stupid pom-pom!"

The moogle fluttered its little wings. "Kupo, no need to be so rude! I got some polar drops right here. Three thousand munny."

Riku dug through his pockets and pulled out the three thousand munny he got from Sora. "Here you go."

The moogle took out a jar labeled 'Polar Drops: do not eat' and handed it to Riku, who returned to the group.

Riku held the jar triumphantly over his head. "OK, one down, three to go."

"Yes," Donald said. "But that was the easiest one. The others will be harder. Goofy, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I think so, Donald, but how come I can talk and Pluto can't if we're both dogs?"

"You have a larynx?" Clio said.

"Don't encourage him," Donald snapped. "What I meant, is Calamity's goons will think we're going to get the next easiest item to get. Like most RPG parties."

"He's got a point," Terpsichore said. "They knew we went to Erion to meet with Onyx and Odette."

"Yes," Donald said. "So instead of ascending order of difficulty, how about descending?"

"Huh?" Goofy asked. "Sending?"

Donald rubbed his temples wearily. "We get the hardest thing first. That might throw the bad guys off."

"That sounds like it's worth a try," Mickey said. "Anyone opposed?"

"I'm more opposed to Donald coming up with a good strategy," Erato said.

"Well, he does have the highest INT stat of the main party in the console Kingdom Hearts titles," Clio said matter of factly.

"Yes, but Goofy's is perpetually zero," Polyhymnia added. "So it isn't saying much."

"I don't know, but I get the feeling I'm being insulted," Sora commented.

"What was your first clue?!" Riku asked.

Mickey thought a moment. "I think the silver thread is the hardest to get."

"What, is it guarded by an insomniac dragon or something?" Clio asked.

"No," Mickey said. "It's just time consuming to harvest enough to build a magic matrix."

"So where do we get this thread?" Sora asked.

"The Mythic Mall," Erato said. "They have lots of clothing stores that stock silver thread."

"But we're running low on munny," Goofy observed.

"We'll cross the bridge when we come to it," Sora said. "For now, let's go to the mall." He blushed. "That sounded much cooler in my head."

XXX

In the aptly named 'Evil Room,' where Calamity's Seven Executives held their meetings, Lezard stood at the front of the room. The other Executives – Marjoly, Gant, Loki, Hades, Vayne, and Cartman were seated at a round table facing him. Cartman had a tray piled high with snacks in front of him. Marjoly had her makeup kit in her lap. Gant had a few comic books in front of him.

Lezard bowed deeply. "My friends…"

"Since when are we friends?" Loki asked.

"We aren't?!" Lezard sounded only slightly shocked. He regained his placid expression. "Let me continue."

"Can we please get on with it?" Marjoly asked. "Most of us have better things to do than listen to you."

Lezard nodded. "Well, I do tend to talk too much…"

"If brevity is the soul of wit," Gant said. "You are absolutely witless, Lizard."

"Lizard? That's the best you could come up with?" Cartman asked.

"If you would stop interrupting me," Lezard snapped. "Calamity told me to keep this short, so I have condensed my presentation into a PowerPoint lecture!"

Everyone groaned.

Lezard held out a remote control and gestured to the blue screen behind him. He pushed a very conspicuous white button. Nothing happened. Lezard pushed it again. And again. And held it down.

"How many wizards does it take to start a PowerPoint?" Hades asked Marjoly.

"N plus one, where n is the number of wizards and one is the tech support guy," Marjoly replied.

"Did I tell you that one already?" Hades asked.

"Nah, your jokes are just that predictable," Marjoly said. "Next you'll call me a witch."

"Well, you can really be one sometimes!" Hades answered.

Snoops ran in from the hall. "Her Grace said you might need help, so she put me on standby." He was carrying a laptop case. He moved to the podium, in which a projector was set and opened his laptop case. He quickly hooked up the laptop. "OK, now it should work."

Lezard pushed the button again. A PowerPoint slide appeared on the screen. It read: _Code Name: Electric Haircut. _

"Helvetica?" Cartman asked through a mouthful of gummy worms. "Seriously, that's the font you go with?"

Lezard ignored him and clicked the button again. One race car noise later, a new slide appeared on the screen. This one read _What is Electric Haircut_? "Electric Haircut is a solution. A solution to a little problem called Sora." He smirked. "I totally have your attention now."

"Get on with it," Vayne complained. "How do we solve a problem like Sora?"

Lezard put his next slide up: _All comes down to DME. _"Sora is the son of Mnemosyne's daughter Sappho. I mean, this is common knowledge by now. Mnemosyne, Calamity, and their offspring convert energy to DME, or Divine Materialize Energy, to maintain their bodies. DME is incredibly efficient at healing wounds. The Princesses of Heart can convert energy to DME, but in much smaller quantities than Mnemosyne and her brats. They're the only mortals besides Sora who can, and there are many reasons for that…"

"GET ON WITH IT!" chorused the others.

"All right," Lezard said. "I'm getting to the juicy details. Divine Materialize Energy is energy. If DME were destroyed, the beings using it would die. But energy cannot be created or destroyed. It can only be converted to and from other forms of energy. Electric Haircut can transfer DME out of Sora's body, leaving him weak." He reached into his pocket and held up what looked like a large, silver bullet. "This is Electric Haircut. I constructed it to the exact shape and size of .45 caliber ammunition. This bullet is made of a magical alloy that can absorb energy. A skilled gunman will fire it into Sora at close range, causing extensive damage to his body. It was designed to fragment on impact, so the fragments will cause further damage. Sora's tissues will immediately send DME to the injuries. Ordinarily, they'd heal, but the DME will be absorbed by the alloy. Any cure spells Sora or his companions try will be similarly futile. Most cure spells work like DME; they are essentially energy that flows from the caster to the target to accelerate natural healing processes…" Lezard trailed off. "I just outlined a foolproof way to kill Sora, and all I see from you is a sea of bored faces. You could be excited!"

"This is my excited face," Loki said, not changing his bored expression.

"It sounds solid in theory, but in practice…" Vayne began.

"Et tu, Vayne?" Lezard held down the button until he came to a slide that read _Questions? _

"I have one," Gant said. Without waiting for a response, he asked, "Are you nuts?! This is your plan? A plain lead .45 round will blow the kid's body to pulp! This whole mystical mumbo jumbo is unnecessary. Why make one huge bullet? What if the marksman misses? What do we do then? Besides strip the marksman of his title? Why couldn't you have made several smaller bullets?!"

Lezard straightened his glasses. "We find a truly skilled assassin, one worthy of his title. I trust that satisfies you, Mr. Gant."

"And who would that assassin be?" Hades asked.

Lezard shrugged. "I have no idea. You guys can find one. I've done my part, and there's a blow up doll in the likeness of my true love waiting for me…"

"UGH!" chorused the others.

"I'm just practicing for the real thing!" Lezard said. "I am most certainly not a pervert or a peeping tom, or …"

"Just shut up, Lezard," Marjoly grumbled.

Lezard's shoulders slumped. "Yes, ma'am. I'll leave you to your assassin searching."

"Is there a section of the phone book we can look at?" Cartman asked. He held up a frowny-faced Goldfish cracker. "And aren't these things supposed to be smiling?" He bit the head off.

Snoops walked to Loki. "Mr. Loki? Calamity wants to see you immediately."

"I didn't eat her bon-bons!" Loki said defensively.

XXX

Maia and her companions entered the Velvet Room. The blue room was empty.

A tall, slim man was seated on one of the armchairs. Upon seeing Maia, he immediately stood up and bowed. He was dressed in a blue uniform that resembled a bellhop's uniform, with matching cap. His hair was platinum blonde.

"Where's Igor?" Kairi asked. "Who are you?"

"My name is Theodore," the man said. "However, if it pleases you, call me Theo. I was sent here by my master to give you a status report on Sora's quest."

"Where is Sora? How is he?" asked Kairi.

"Sora is in good health. He is traveling with the other Keyblade Masters on a quest to gather ingredients for the Soul Extraction ritual," Theo replied.

"And what is that?" Auron asked.

"Soul Extraction is how Mnemosyne's Daughters plan to drive Calamity's soul of the body she has hijacked from Mnemosyne. Calamity can materialize her own vessel as she escapes, however…"

"Yes?" Gordon asked.

"It would take an immense amount of power to do so," Theo explained. "Her power is vast, but not limitless. From there, the Keybearers will fight her until she exhausts her energy."

"Yes, but that doesn't change the fact that Sora is basically on a fetch quest right now," Auron replied.

"Thank you for the status, Theo," Maia said. She walked to her room and slammed the door.

"I think she's mad," Kairi said.

"At what?" Gordon asked. "At whom?"

"Did you say something naughty to her?" Kairi asked.

"No!" Gordon replied. "You and Auron were with us. I wouldn't say something. Especially since Auron thinks I'm a pig."

"If you stop violating your wife in front of us, maybe I'd reconsider that label," Auron said curtly.

"Oh, shut up!" Gordon snapped. "I don't have to take this from either of you!" He marched to Maia's room door and knocked. "Maia, I'm coming in!"

"I didn't even say anything this time," Kairi said. She turned to Theo. "You look a lot like Elizabeth. Have you seen her?"

"She's left already," Theo said. "Between us, I'm glad of that. She makes my skin crawl."

Inside Gordon and Maia's room, Gordon locked the door.

Maia was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"What's wrong?" Gordon asked.

"Nothing," Maia replied. "Leave me alone."

"OK, when a woman says 'nothing is wrong' when a man asks 'what's wrong', there's always something wrong. It's one of the best known code phrases," Gordon said. "Are you angry at me? Because I've done something wrong? And that something is nothing, right?"

"You're confusing me," Maia answered. "Something wrong was nothing? You did nothing wrong?"

"No, it's that I've done nothing right," Gordon sat down beside Maia. "I can't fight as well as Auron. My own son has surpassed my abilities long ago. I can't protect my own family."

"This is kind of a strange question," Maia said. "Do I seem…powerful?"

"You're right. That is strange," Gordon scratched his head. "What about all those strange powers you've been using?"

"You might think I'm really strong, but I'm not," Maia said. "I'm irresponsible. I yelled at Philemon for not maintaining the time-freezing magic in this room, but what about all those distractions?"

"Distractions?"

"Exdeath. Gilgamesh. Everytime we've stopped to help someone instead of moving forward."

"Oh, I thought that was us being proper heroes. I mean, Sora had to stop and help every single person he met."

"I'm tired of stalling. And I don't want to move forward. I don't want my son to see me like this. Maybe tomorrow, or the day after that, we can see Sora. Face the music. So you see, Gordon. I wasn't mad at you. I was mad at myself."

"What exactly do you want to do when you see him?"

"Hug him. Hold him close. Cherish the last moments before he hates me. Then tell him everything. And finally, tell him to take my heart and soul into himself."

"Won't that kill you?"

"No. At least, not right away. An essence can leave a body without harm for a while. It's not indefinite, but long enough for practical purposes. After Sora defeats Calamity, he'll put it back in my body, and I'll awaken again. Then I'll ask my mother to sever our soul linkage. Before she annihilates me."

"Annihilates?!"

"Yes. She sealed my memory. I wasn't supposed to remember who I was. Mother will surely punish me for what I've done. But I want to make absolutely certain you're safe before I go."

"But…"

"My mother also has a strong sense of justice. She punishes the wicked and those who defile Kingdom Hearts. I've created a child, who through no fault of his own, has a natural-born connection to Kingdom Hearts. Surely that is enough reason to warrant total destruction. And if that can be forgiven, I endangered my own son. I became my mother."

"Pleione?"

"Yes. Mothers who harm their children invite more than death. They invite total obliteration. The truth is, I do not deserve to keep living."

"That's stupid," Gordon said.

"My mother will agree with me," Maia replied.

"Then she's stupid."

"Why is it stupid?"

"You don't deserve to die."

"You say that because you love me, not from an objective point of view. But if I give my essence to Sora and give him strength to turn on Calamity, then I've atoned. I can die happy."

"I won't let you die."

"Now isn't the time to be stubborn," Maia answered crossly. "If Sora fails to defeat Calamity, he'll die. And so will I. She won't let me rest, let alone live. But my mother and Calamity are pillars of a fragile status-quo. If one dies, the other grows in strength to compensate for the loss. That's what happened when Calamity died the first time. If both die, the worlds will be destroyed. So my mother has to be reinstated as the Memory Queen. I don't think she'll talk to you, or to Sora. No one else would plead on my behalf because I'm utterly detestable. If Sora were to threaten my mother, it would be empty. He'd never threaten the worlds for such a selfish reason. It'd be a betrayal of everything he's worked for. Over a year of hard work." Silence. "You see? With this plan, everybody wins. Calamity is destroyed, you are free of the risk of death via the soul linkage, and you and Sora can return home. I don't want to die, but I've run so many scenarios in my head. Nothing else works out like this. There is no way out. No hope or future for me."

"Maia, let me ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"If I abandoned you now, what kind of man would I be?"

"What are you getting at?"

"You're telling me to finish raising Sora by myself, but I can't do that by myself. I mean, what would inevitably happen when you'd leave for a few days?"

"I'd…" Maia thought a moment. "Come back to a disaster?"

"Exactly."

"I'm still trying to figure out how the bathroom caulk completely dissolved…"

"I think you're better off not knowing," Gordon said. "For your sanity. My point is, I need you. Sora needs you. We'd both be sad if you left. And then we'd stuff ourselves with pies, which would make us sadder because they wouldn't be as good as yours. And then we'd get fat. I can't let you die over something we had no knowledge about. I married you as-is. That includes your problems."

"But what can we do?" Maia asked. "As I said, each scenario just depresses me. I just can't go on right now."

"Will you consider life?" Gordon asked.

"Yes, but stay with me. If Auron asks, we're not going anywhere for a while."

"Um, about Auron?"

"What, Gordon?" Maia asked.

"Why does Auron wield a two-handed sword in only one hand? It just screams pretension, along with those anachronistic sunglasses…"

"Why are you so bothered by Auron's idiosyncrasies?" Maia asked. "The fangirls don't seem to mind."

"They don't realize how obnoxious he is," Gordon said. "Stupid badass perfect golden boy!"

"This should cheer you up," Maia said. "I'll put my faith in you. Let's not break our plans of renewing our vows and buying a new wedding ring and maybe we can go on a second honeymoon."

"Second honeymoon?"

"Well, Sora will probably have to go on yet another quest soon. Rather than wait around the house waiting for him to come back, we could go on a romantic getaway."

"OK, but if he gets homesick because you're not taking his phone calls, it's on you. I'll have to sell a lot of photographs to pay for it, but if it makes you happy, I guess it's worth it."

"You're so cute when flustered," Maia said.

"You sure you want to stay here?" Gordon asked.

"Yes. If Theo is correct, Sora has to do fetch quests. Which are hardly cause for concern."

"I guess if he saved the worlds twice, he can handle some mindless fetch quests," Gordon shrugged. "Okay. Have I read you any love poems lately? If not, here goes: Maia, my Maia, fresh and sweet as cream in May…"

"Oh, Gordon, hee hee!"

XXX

"Horace, I insist," Minnie snapped. "Bring us more pillows!"

Horace pointed to the piles of feathers and torn cloth strewn around Minnie's bedroom. "But you've ruined twenty already!"

"So what?" Daisy said. "They're easy to replace."

"Funny coming from a bird," Horace replied.

Minnie tapped her foot impatiently. "Horace, I'm beginning to lose my legendary patience! Get us more pillows so we can have more pillow fights! I'm down four and I need to…"

"Fine, Your Majesty," Horace sighed. "I'll go get some more. But what's His Majesty going to say when I have to order new ones?"

"Like I don't know about that fifty thousand munny he spends every month on cheese," Minnie retorted.

Urania sauntered toward Horace. "Hey, you're so cute. Why don't you give me a quick ride before getting those pillows?"

Horace backed away. "I…I don't think that's really a good idea."

"Oh, humor her," Clarabelle said, belching the moment she got the words out. "Why do you always have to have a stick up your butt?"

"Um, I'll go see the quartermaster about those pillows," Horace reached the door and slammed it shut. He clutched his chest. "Man, women are scary when they're drunk!"

XXX

On Mickey's Gummi Ship, Mickey was in the cockpit, flying the ship through interworld space. Clio was in the copilot seat, navigating. The others were inside the cabin. Erato was busy bringing sodas to everyone.

Sora stared at his still-full cup of soda.

"Your ice is going to melt," Donald said.

"You want it?" Sora asked.

"Are you getting homesick or something?" Donald said with a grimace. "Because only Ness gets away with that."

"No, I'm not homesick," Sora said.

"Good," Donald replied. "We can't exactly call your mom from this Gummi Ship."

Sora looked downward.

"You're not yourself today," Donald said. "What's wrong?"

"Didn't you see it?" Sora asked listlessly.

"See what?" asked Donald.

"The blood on my hands. Melpomene. Her blood. Why did it smell like metal?"

"It has a coppery smell," Donald said. "I'm really sorry you had to see that. I wish you could have witnessed your first violent death a long way down the line. I knew it was inevitable for you to see something like that…"

"But her warmth! The light in her eyes. And how they faded. I was supposed to save her!"

"Supposed?" Donald asked. "It was an accident."

"I'm supposed to save everyone," Sora snapped. "I'm the legendary hero. I couldn't do anything for her. I couldn't even ease the pain. And now I can't see her anymore, even dead."

"Well, she wouldn't smell very nice," Donald commented.

"I wonder," Sora said. "If this is why Kore won't talk to me."

"Kore?" Donald asked. "We were talking about Melpomene."

"I've seen Kore in my dreams," Sora explained. "We talk. Eat ice cream. She gave me a kiss."

"Um, your first kiss? Wasn't Kairi supposed to?" Donald asked.

"It's not like that," Sora said. "It wasn't anything inappropriate. Except when I touched her boob, but that was just a teeny accident!"

Donald palmed his face. "Sora, when you die and you have to justify your life to one of the Daughters of Destiny, don't tell her this story!"

"Our relationship isn't romantic," Sora insisted. "You see, she's been guiding me. But since the day Melpomene died, I've slept but I can't find her in my dreams. I've looked and looked. She must be angry with me. That's why she refuses to talk to me."

"You know she wouldn't blame you for that," Donald said. "You're not to blame."

"Then what?" Sora asked. "Is she tired of giving me her guiding light? Is it selfish of me to keep wanting it? Isn't greed over light what started that whole mythic Keyblade War in the first place?"

"You're not being greedy," Donald said reassuringly. "You just want some support from an experienced Master. Someone more experienced than you, or even the King. I mean, Kore's had a Keyblade for how many centuries?"

"Then why is she avoiding me? I can't see her. I don't hear her voice. I just want some sign that she's still with me."

"I'm sure she has a reason," Donald said.

"What if she can't?" Sora asked. "Maybe she's trapped somewhere and can't get out, so her voice can't reach me anymore? And then I'm worried about Euterpe too."

"Euterpe will be fine," Donald answered. "She's tough, even after being turned into a little puppet. Right, Goofy? Goofy?"

Goofy looked lost in thought. Which isn't too surprising, as it's unfamiliar territory.

"What are you thinking, Goofy?" Donald asked.

"This has been bugging me for years," Goofy answered.

"What is it?" Sora asked.

"How can Marcie and Peppermint Patty be lesbians if they're both obsessed with Charlie Brown?"

Donald and Sora groaned.

"Remember when he spent an entire Gummi Ship flight pondering why Cloud's two love interest are in the series, but not Leon's?" Sora asked Donald.

"Darn you, Sora. I had just forgotten that," Donald replied.

At the same time, Erato handed a soda to Riku, who was sitting in one of the aisle seats.

"Erato?" Riku asked. "You know how you said you cursed that Adam guy?"

"Yeah," Erato answered.

"What if we run into him? Sora might recruit his old friends for support, and I don't think Adam is willing to help you."

"He won't even recognize me," Erato commented. "I looked a lot different back then."

"Different as in younger?" Riku asked.

"No, as in my whole appearance was different. I chose this look just for you. I considered having red hair since you've got a thing for redheads." Erato shrugged. "Is this not to your liking?"

"No, it's just a surprise. That isn't your real form?" Riku inquired.

"No, it isn't," Erato said. "But if it makes you feel better, the form Adam saw wasn't my real one either." She wrinkled her nose. "And if you say I'm deceiving you, I'll smack you. Just because boring human girls can't change much about themselves doesn't mean I can't. And I chose the form I thought you'd find attractive. You can't be grateful for that?!"

"Grateful?" Riku repeated.

"Besides," Erato continued. "Very few have seen my real form. And if you play your cards right, you might get to see it. In the most natural state." Erato sat down in the empty seat next to him.

Then there was a sound. A loud sound…okay, there's no delicate way to describe it. It was a very loud fart.

"That wasn't me," Riku announced.

Erato jumped from her seat and peeked under the cushion. She pulled out a deflated whoopee cushion. "It was this." She looked around the cabin.

Polyhymnia and Terpsichore burst out laughing when Erato glanced at them.

"You were right," Polyhymnia said. "That was better than a rubber spider on her pillow."

"It's a cliché because it's true," Terpsichore added.

Erato glared at them. "You stupid bitches!"

This only made them laugh harder.

XXX

Inside Urania's guest room in Disney Castle, Minnie stretched and yawned. "I should go to bed."

"Like Clarabelle and Daisy did? I guessed you were the most lightweight of the three," Urania giggled. Her cheeks were bright red. "Are you going to have a hangover tomorrow?"

"Yes, but yours will be be worse," Minnie said. "You drank us under the table."

Urania belched. "It won't be fun, but I look forward to it."

Minnie blinked. "Why would you look forward to it?!"

"We'll suffer through it together," Urania said. "You're my new behst friend. Minnie, after this is over, could I come back here? We don't have to drink again. We could do karaoke, or talk, or look at magazines together."

"Sure," Minnie replied.

"We can do that?" Urania asked. "You aren't just humoring me?"

"I promise," Minnie said.

"Yay!" Urania said happily. "We should form a girl group. What do we call ourselves? MUDC? MDCU? The Queen and her Court? How about the Magical Girls, since we're all good at magic?"

Minnie perked up a round ear. "Wait. I thought I heard something." She looked around the room. A curtain fluttered, despite the window being shut.

"Pay no attention to the god behind the curtain!" A male voice echoed through the room. Minnie immediately ran to the window and threw the curtain back. There was nothing. She turned around and gasped.

Loki was standing behind Urania, one hand over her mouth and arm across her neck. "Seriously, your Highness? You couldn't guess I was throwing my voice? Ventroquilism is so old."

"Who are you?!" Minnie demanded.

"An old friend of Urania's," Loki said. "I'm Loki, trickster god of the Norse pantheon."

Urania struggled against Loki, but his grip held her fast.

"Let her go!" Minnie ordered.

"You want me to take my hands off her?" Loki asked. "Sure, but first let me do this." White energy flowed from his hands, and suddenly Urania was frozen solid. Just like Ventus in the Birth By Sleep trailer.

Loki stood calmly behind the frozen Urania. "I mean, you could attack me, but you could miss. And if you hit your friend, she could blow up. Like this." He touched the back of Urania's head. There was a glow on the tip of his fingers, and the frozen Urania…exploded. Ice fragments flew everywhere.

OK, that didn't happen in the Birth By Sleep trailer.

Minnie stood stunned momentarily. She seemed to barely register the sharp ice fragments flying past her. A few sliced her nightgown. Minnie kept her gaze fixed on where Urania once was. Holly berries and leaves occupied the site, along with a few ice shards.

Finally, Minnie broke free of her shock and ran to the sprigs of holly, not caring that she was running toward Loki. She kneeled and gathered the holly. Her gloved hands quivered. "Why would you do this to her?! She wanted to live! She was going to visit me!"

"She was shitfaced, so killing her would be easy," Loki replied.

"Why would you kill her?!" Minnie asked.

"Her aunt Calamity wanted her power, and this is the way to get it." Loki held out a golden orb. "This is Urania's soul. All that she is. What you hold is what remains of her body. They're worthless. All Calamity has to do is devour this, and Urania's powers will pass to her. Urania's personality and memories will eventually fade until there's nothing left. Not even anything tangible, like those plants."

Minnie glared. "…Vermin."

"Excuse me?" Loki asked.

"You're nothing but vermin!" Minnie repeated.

Loki chuckled. "Oh, the giant rat calls me vermin? That's rich."

"Light!" Minnie cried.

Loki quickly jumped back to avoid a beam of light Minnie fired in his direction. "I guess this means I'm overstaying my welcome, so I'll leave now." He vanished, still holding Urania's soul.

Minnie was left alone in the guest room, surrounded by melting chunks of ice. "Oh, Mickey, why must you leave me when I need you most?"


End file.
